• Freaky Fred

    I’m imagining like the Truman Show Halloween special or something

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +10 (from 12 votes)
  • WhatisthisWinter

    I liked this one, although I wish it went into just a little more detail on the " System " Gonna have to rate 6/10.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +3 (from 11 votes)
  • Silver_Rathalos

    The build up was pretty good, it had me scrolling nice. I felt as though the ending was rushed or somewhat unfinished.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +9 (from 9 votes)
  • Anonymous

    The bipolar people really creeped me out.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +10 (from 12 votes)
  • Anonymous

    Blah.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -1 (from 3 votes)
  • Tsugirai

    Didn’t like this one too much. The girls’ reactions were too "hhallywoodish stupid blonde", and the whole execution was irrational. What did she stray the system from with? By not seeing the cars? What about her friend? How is he connected to anything? This is one of those cases where things that should make sense actually doesn’t. A weak 6.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -7 (from 13 votes)
    • Endoplasmic Reticulum

      This was about a boy named hunter, but his thoughts and actions were way too much like a girl’s for me to wrap my head around him being a guy.

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: -1 (from 7 votes)
      • Jeff

        They probably had a system for everything; like how Hunter should have had bacon and eggs but instead asked for cereal, when he took a different route to school, when he sat at the back of the class, and when he left the class. That’s how I understood it.

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)
  • BUT WHO WAS SYSTEM?

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    Rating: +6 (from 12 votes)
  • Kyle

    It was more eerie than creepy, in my opinion, but it was still well written and I liked it =)

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    Rating: +6 (from 6 votes)
  • Anonymous

    I’ve watched a movie like this. It’s like The Adjstment Bureu where the guy falls in love with the girl he’s not supposed to fall in love with. This seems similar as our "lives" seem to be programmed by higher beings -godly or not. 3/10 for the effort.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +7 (from 7 votes)
  • Shane

    Great buildup, ending was pretty weak though. 7/10

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +3 (from 3 votes)
  • SlyKatie

    I thought it was good.. Meh.

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    Rating: 0 (from 2 votes)
  • C4KE

    Was pretty good. Although I think it could use a tad bit of work, particularly at the end. Your build up was great, but I felt like you rushed the ending. I give it 5/10. It definitely is an interesting concept to think about. I just think it could be better elaborated.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)
  • GeneralChaos

    reminds me vaguely of _Stepford Wives_. Good job!

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    Rating: 0 (from 2 votes)
  • Rage_Quitter

    I thought this was great.
    unusually I really couldn’t guess where it was going.
    And the twist on daily humdrum life is really cool.
    Well done Hunter.

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    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • Hunter

    Thank you so much for the feedback guys. This is my first creepypasta; I’m glad you liked it! Cheers

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    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • http://creepypasta.com Lola

    Wow great story I think this was way underrated 10/10

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    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • http://dainzdailylife.wordpress.com PhantomFingers

    And the moral of this story is: You can’t trust the system! Man!

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)
  • Grim Gamer

    Nice story. It kinda makes me think of the movie where all the people were actually alien robots. Nice job for a first time. I am hoping to post my own first five stories when the submission period is done. ;D

    I rate this 7/10!

    Sincerely,
    Grim Gamer

    Blood is red, corpses are blue, I love games…don’t you?

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -1 (from 1 vote)
  • Rao

    I wonder what the system is, maybe something like the Matrix? Or maybe an entity that feeds off… Habit? Or maybe something else all together. While the pasta could have gone more into that the mysterious ending also works.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
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