Scary Paranormal Stories & Short Horror Microfiction

Creepypasta

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Rating: 8.7/10 (366 votes cast)

I was 15 years old during the weekend in June when everything would change. My mum had decided to skip town to visit her distant family, as she felt that she had earned a break. Nothing unusual about the decision to just up and leave as she often goes to visit ‘the other side’ as she called it. She’d either visit her parents – a part of the family that I actually enjoy seeing – who occupy a modest cottage up in the hills of some English countryside; or if she was feeling tolerant, she would make the lengthy trip to see her annoying, yuppie cousins, living it up in their seemingly never-ending Spanish property – that’s where she was going this time. I never felt the need to put myself through listening to their constant, loud-mouthed whining of their quest for importance; but given the choice now, I would have sat through a week of their intolerable rambling if I could have known what that weekend had planned for me.

I was awakened by my mum on the Friday morning, and as usual, she’d gotten me the day off school. I was told that she’d be back on Monday morning, just in time to make sure that I’d gone back to school to reassure my teachers that it was nothing more than a three day stomach bug. I carried her bags to the car, gave her a kiss on the cheek, waved her goodbye, and just like that, she was gone. I wandered into the kitchen to make my breakfast, all the while thinking how excited I’d gotten the first time my mum had trusted me to stay at home on my own. It was different now, nearing trivial. Almost the entirety of that first day consisted of me lazing about. I listened to my music, played some games, watched a movie, all of the usual things a bored teenager would do. Then I fell asleep. After what I think was about 2 hours of sleep, I was awoken in the evening by a knock.

I arose from the couch like a zombie, still sleepy and aching from the awkward position that I’d somehow let my limbs rest in. I had initially planned to ignore the knock at the door but the thought of it being a friend made me want to answer – having company always made the weekend go faster. I clenched the door handle with a faint smile on my face and hoped that I didn’t look as tired as I felt. With my eyes still half closed and that strange taste in my mouth that I get after a sleep, I opened the door. My eyes soon widened when I realised what I was looking at. A tall, bony looking, old man was standing in my doorway. He was dressed in a black suit and tie with an ageing bowler hat placed on top of his scraggly, grey hair. His white shirt was stained with a yellow and brown tint that I could only guess was coffee; and the shoes that he was wearing were very well kept, very shiny – so much so that I could see my reflection in them. He began to speak; his words were hushed, maybe even hissed in a child-like sort of tone, but I couldn’t focus. I knew he was speaking but I couldn’t concentrate on the words he was saying, not while I was looking at his face; staring into his eyes. His aged complexion was taut – wrinkled and very pale, almost like a hazy shade of silver; but the edges of his eyes were completely black. What looked like smeared charcoal surrounding his vision only highlighted the depth of his gaze. There was nothing human about them, they seemed hollow, lifeless. The fear that gripped me when he stared straight through me was like nothing that I’d ever felt before.

I took a deep breath and finally mumbled a word, “Hello.” I said.

He smiled – a disgruntled plight to infect my dreams. It seemed to extend upwards toward his ears as if there was nothing stopping it. His mouth was packed with razor sharp, dirty black teeth. Every once in a while his black tongue would swipe the surface of his upper deck in a slurp. With his head tilted slightly to the left, he crooned softly “Hello there child, I’m here to offer you something important, something that you might need. I’m a salesman you see, just a salesman. Please, all I need is a moment of your time in exchange for some peace of mind. Are you interested?”

I couldn’t move, I could hardly breathe – I felt frozen. Terror had encompassed me. I finally muttered a sentence “I can’t – I have to go – it’s too much, I’m sorry.”

The door slammed behind me and I could breathe again, I could think. I slouched down to the ground, trying to process what I had just witnessed. When out of nowhere a thud made itself known. I looked up, with my mouth ajar and my eyes darting about, then I slowly stood. Making my way into the kitchen I could hear a gentle humming; it was a happy kind of tune but the unknown source made me shiver. My stomach dropped as I turned the corner, he was there, humming that tune, smiling that smile as he sat at my table just staring at me. I backed away towards the front door where I was welcomed by a shadow “That can’t be him.” I thought to myself. I began to tear up, I couldn’t help it. I headed straight upstairs, past my bedroom, past my mum’s room and vanished into the bathroom. I could hear him, he was singing now, right outside the door. I panicked, I didn’t know what to do. Then it hit me, my only choice. I couldn’t believe I was actually contemplating climbing out of the second floor window; but I had to. The shadow passing by through the light on the other side of the door was forcing me to do it. I opened the bathroom window and stared outside – but then I stopped. There he was, standing on the edge of my garden, waving at me and slowly drifting down the road; taking his song with him and slowly fading into the distance.

That night I slept in the bathroom. With the door and window locked, I set up a bed using a bunch of towels. I just couldn’t bring myself to leave until daylight emerged. The next day finally arrived – after what seemed to be the longest night of my life – and I had to get out of the house. I went over to stay at my friend’s house for the day – Adam was his name, a small, skinny guy who I’d known all my life. I thought that he could help me forget about what had happened. It’s a strange feeling you get when something so frightening happens to you, but seems so unrealistic; you begin to doubt yourself. It’s almost as if you have two minds – but I knew in my heart that it was real; and if I didn’t believe after the first meeting with the salesman, it would definitely be forever etched in my mind after the weekend was over.

Later that night I was told that I couldn’t stay at Adam’s house, as his family had to get up for church in the morning. I begged and pleaded with him to let me stay but his stubborn mother was having none of it and sent me on my way. I only lived three streets from where his house was, so it wasn’t much of a walk; but I still had to walk back in the dark of night and I wasn’t looking forward to it at all. That face kept creeping into my mind. The fact that someone had been able to scare me out of my own home was sickening; and that damn song he kept humming… that song he kept humming… I turned the corner and I could hear it. The tune, the voice, he was here. I looked down the road expecting it to be empty “Just my mind playing tricks on me.” I thought; but there he was. Standing under the streetlight staring at me, smiling. He began to walk towards me – his hum turning into a song, singing louder and louder as he began to run at me. I had to run, I sprinted in the other direction as fast as I could. I could hear his footsteps behind me “How is he so fast?” my frazzled mind wondered. I had to get back to Adam’s house, I had to. I turned the corner and banged on Adam’s door frantically “Open the door! Open the door!” I shouted. His mother answered looking terrified, questioning what had happened to me. I stumbled into their house and scurried backwards; only to look outside and realise that he was gone. Was it my imagination? It couldn’t have been, but there was nothing there. Nothing. Nothing, except for an old bowler hat on the ground. Needless to stay, she let me stay at the house that night, because – as she put it – I wasn’t fit to stay on my own.

I woke the next morning feeling like a mess and looking even worse; but at least the sun was out. I had to get back home, I hadn’t been there in a whole day and I had to make sure everything was okay. I thanked Adam and apologised to his mum; then I was off on my way. I stood at my front door, took a deep breath and gripped the handle. Then I heard a bang, then another and another. I jumped back from the door in pure fear, I couldn’t believe it was him again; how is he doing this? Just as I had gathered the courage to turn the handle and go inside; my mum opened the door to me. I’d never been so happy to see her in my entire life. I hugged her and told her never to leave me on my own again.

After that we went inside and sat together all day – something we haven’t done since I was a young boy – and everything felt safe again. She showed me her new white dress that she had bought while she was away, she told me all about her visit to her annoying cousins and spoke very highly of her weekend; but I couldn’t do the same. That afternoon I told her everything that had happened. She listened intently and couldn’t believe that something so horrible had happened to me. She felt so guilty. She apologised over and over and told me that we would go to the police station the next day, but right now it could wait and we had to get ready for dinner. I was confused that she had said that, but I suppose I was safe with her. An hour or so later, we settled down for our meal. I told her all about school, explained to her how much better I had gotten on guitar, update her on my love life and she just sat there and listened; smiling as I ate my meal.

She stared at me and I felt uneasy, her smile slowly got bigger and bigger. All the while, her new, white dress slowly melted into a black suit. She hissed “Do you see how easy it is to give someone some of your time?” At that moment, he was stood right in front of me. I cried out loud “I knew it wasn’t over, what do you want? Why me? Why my mum?”

“You know why I chose you child, you never listened. I told you it could have been something that you might need, I told you it was important but you ignored me. You didn’t have the time; your precious time. The only way I could get you to listen was by using the one person that you trust, that you listen to; and let’s just say that I like to be somebody else, if only for a while.””

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I’ll listen now”

“It’s too late for that. It’s too late. It’s a shame too, child, because it really could have saved your life.”

Then that was it. It was over. Done. So, how am I writing this now? Why am I telling you all of this? Well, you’ve given me some of your time so here is your supposed piece of mind; I like to be somebody else, if only for a while.

Credit To: Jacob Newell

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Rate This Pasta
Rating: 8.7/10 (366 votes cast)
The Salesman, 8.7 out of 10 based on 366 ratings
  • KatKatastrophe

    Not bad story , I liked the twist at the ending. 7/10

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    Rating: +14 (from 14 votes)
  • http://jlkart.deviantart.com JLKArt

    Really creepy! I am going to draw him!

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    Rating: +9 (from 11 votes)
    • http://jlkart.deviantart.com JLKArt

      And I drew him… and his eyes follow me lmao CREEPY!!!!!

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      Rating: +9 (from 9 votes)
      • CarnivalGuts

        Can you comment with pictures? I’d like to see that!

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        Rating: +8 (from 8 votes)
  • Anonymous

    This was absolutely terrible. I don’t see how this can pass for even "mediocre" on this site. So many errors.

    "She’d either visit her parents –a part of the family that I actually enjoy seeing– who occupy a modest cottage up in the hills of some English land." Just a few lines into the story is the biggest fragment I’ve ever seen.

    "He smiled. Oh god, that smile." Too many stories on this site have this overdone phrase. A detail (usually a smile) followed by "Oh god" with a repeat of that detail. It gets old.

    Besides the errors, the story was pointless and unrealistic. A man shows up and looks ghastly, starts appearing everywhere and singing, for no reason at all. The kid runs away and has to tell us every emotion he’s feeling, whilst switching from past to present tense. The reader can’t read between the lines and learning anything for himself because all the information is just hurled at him.

    Bland pasta is bland.

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    Rating: -23 (from 55 votes)
    • Anonymous

      Firstly, the text you refer to is not a fragment. At the very most, it needed alternative punctuation and maybe the use of the word ‘countryside’ instead of ‘land’. Secondly, there is no change in ‘tense’ in the story, you obviously haven’t paid attention.

      By all means have an opinion and rate your enjoyment of a story, but if you can’t give correct constructive criticism, then don’t bother saying anything at all.

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      Rating: +38 (from 42 votes)
      • Nagalaga

        Grammar nazi has turned onanother grammar nazi.

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        Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)
      • LHSS

        The use of the word ‘either’ made that a fragment to most English speakers.

        But then again, your second point was a comma splice, so I can see why you’re missing the grammatical errors of the story.

        My suggestion is to take your own advice.

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        Rating: +3 (from 5 votes)
  • Anonymous Too

    Reply to Anonymous:

    Firstly, the text you refer to is not a fragment. At the very most it may have needed alternative punctuation and the use of the word ‘countryside’ instead of ‘land’.

    Secondly, there is no change in ‘tense’ in the story, you clearly haven’t paid attention.

    By all means have an opinion and rate your enjoyment of a story, but if you can’t give correct constructive criticism, then it is probably best not to say anything at all.

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    Rating: +7 (from 9 votes)
  • Ayame

    I thought this was good! Where’s this anonymous person with all the criticism’s better and perfect story? It’s "unrealistic"? What horror story is realistic? Great ending.

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    Rating: +12 (from 14 votes)
  • Anonymous

    Well for fuck’s sake, what was he selling?

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    Rating: +30 (from 30 votes)
  • Freaky Fred

    "Then I heard a bang, then another and another."
    THEN WHO WAS BANG BANG BANG???!
    Seriously, I imagined gunshots or at least bludgeoning or something, but it’s just the mom. Even if the mom is secretly the salesman, there is no reference to the banging at all after or before the big reveal. That confused me.
    Also, did anybody else immediately picture Freaky Fred from Courage the Cowardly Dog when they described the character? I kept expecting him to say he was feeling a bit…NAUGHTY…
    otherwise decent pasta tho, try not to throw in weird shit like peppercorns when writing it unless they actually make up part of the experience.

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    Rating: +2 (from 18 votes)
    • Anonymous

      That is exactly what I pictured him as

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      Rating: +1 (from 3 votes)
  • ReadScare

    great loved it, I actually couldn’t help but picture the thin man from phantasm

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    Rating: +3 (from 3 votes)
    • Angel

      THAT’S who I was picturing this whole time! He was sitting in my mind’s eye, but I couldn’t place him!

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      Rating: 0 (from 2 votes)
    • Agalloch

      You mean the Tall Man?

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      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • bleuflowers

    That last paragraph creeped me out so much, I will be getting no sleep tonight…

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    Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)
  • William N.

    Well, I don’t need sleep anyway. That was such a good story! Very creepy feel. 8/10
    We also share the same last name.

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    Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)
  • Corina

    I loved this story, but I’m afraid it wasn’t written very well :( You used certain words, punctuation, phrases and expressions inappropriately. It actually gave me a slight headache… But this story is wonderful! You have an excellent imagination and decent writing potential :) 8/10

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    Rating: -6 (from 8 votes)
  • Derp the Killer

    I’m sorry, but you really got this coming to you.
    BUT THEN WHO WAS SALESMAN?

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    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  • LHSS

    I like the concept, and I loved this story when I first read it. Fix the spelling/grammar problems, and if possible, (I know how hard it is to format a story on here. :P) make the text a little bit more broken up. More paragraphs, less wall. :)

    8/10

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    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • http://deliriletterari.blogspot.com CMT

    Bad, bad story but good, good ending.
    Cutting away maybe a half of what’s before it, and polishing it, it might be very good.

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    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  • Emma

    Honestly not sure whether he’s offering peace of mind or a piece of his mind, and since that’s the last thing we taste, it kind of taints the memory of the whole meal.

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    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • Fisherman’s Friend

    Hm, the best is somehow the mannerism of the old guy (except for that shapeshifting thing), and he feels like a copy of Kane from Poltergeist 2. The story has its points and potential, no doubt. But it has also two weak aspects that take the “creep” out of it: the narrator overreacts. Nothing bad has happened except a weirdo showing up. He even mentions how he feels like his mind has been tricking him. This doesn’t match the panic.
    The 2nd point: still nothing creepy happens in the end except the shapeshifting. To avoid misunderstandings, I don’t want to have every question answered, too much knowledge destroys the creepiness. But here are too many ‘somes’. The man was somehow weird, the narrator thought he saw something, something might have happened to the friend’s family but didn’t, the man wanted something, the narrator has to expect something, but none of this is at least somewhat defined. The only thing is the shapeshifting, at this point the narrator can really say:”okay, this cannot be imagination or misinterpretation, something is really wrong.”

    Open questions are the oil in the pasta, overuse will spoil it, but choosing the right amount of a really good oil makes it delicious.

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    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)

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