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The Rain



Estimated reading time — 5 minutes

It’s raining outside.

I really hate the rain in this town. That’s all it ever does, is rain.

Drop. Drop. Drop.

I looked over to my right at the nightstand beside my bed. The clock read 3:40am. This always seems to happen. It rains so hard outside that the droplets eventually navigate themselves through the one crack in the roof above my bed.

Drip. Drop. Drip. Each droplet forming a steady rhythm as it hits a section of my bed.

I drag my legs over the side of my bed, slowly lowering myself to the cream carpet flooring. As I hop off my bed, the cage on the other side of my room begins to rustle and a little head pokes itself out from the tiny bars, squeaking and all. Nollie, my pet ferret, is dancing around in her cage at the sight of me being awake. I walk over to the giant black cage she sleeps in, and stare at her with a half-awake smile.

“No, Nollie, it’s not play time now.”

“Hisss.” she replied, in her normal bratty ‘I better have things my way!’ attitude.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

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Walking back over near my bed, I reached into my nightstand dresser and pulled out a huge roll of checkered-print white and black duck tape. Examining the pink sheets on my bed, I determine where the water is getting in through my roof. I jump up onto the bed, un-rolling a section of the tape and ripping it off. Carefully I placed the ripped off piece onto the dripping hole, then threw the duct tape roll on the floor.

“Huh.” I thought to myself, “Why are my bedroom window blinds open? I thought I closed those before I fell asleep..”

Blowing it off, I kneeled down on my bed and closed the black blinds back over my window, only to catch a glimpse of how hard it actually was raining outside. There was roughly 3 inches of water off the ground – Not surprising in this town, really. The street outside was curved in, I lived in a cul-de-sac. I could barely see the house across the street through the darkness and rain. Just then my stomach let out a growl of anger.

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God, I need food if I’m ever going to be able to get back to sleep. I walked outside of my bedroom door, not caring if it slowly creaked open and made noise. I live alone, so why should the noise level matter? I began to walk down the long hallway leading to my living room, and eventually I found my way into the kitchen. Walking into the doorway, I reached to my right and flipped the light switch on. From where I was standing, you could see 2 windows. One to the right, clinging to the wall right over the kitchen sink, and one to the left and in front of me, being the back deck’s glass doors.
Looking above me, I was a bit startled. I forgot I had a skylight in my kitchen, which makes sense because it never really stands out in the room. The only way to really notice it, is if you’re standing right under it. Raindrops were hitting the glass panes of the window quite hard; how did I not notice the sound before? Shrugging to myself, I walked over to my left and opened my pantry. Nothing inside of it really seemed to catch my eye due to the fact that all the food in it required a lot of time to cook. Letting out a heavy sigh, I turned back to the light switch and flipped the lights off.
The rain only got harder as I made my way down the hallway and back into my bedroom. Lightning and thunder had started up as I turned off my bedroom lights and sulked back over to my bed, defeated by the lack of quick and easy food I have. I pulled my bright pink Hello-Kitty covers over my neck and let out a heavy sigh, only to hear an angry rebuttal from my stomach. I turned to my left and looked at the bedside clock. 4:12am. Did it really take me that long just to go and check whats in my pantry? Jesus Christ, I must have listened to the rain longer than I thought. I closed my eyes and rolled over onto my right side, giving up on any thoughts of eating. The entire room was quiet except for the assault the rain was making on my roof, and of course Nollie’s squirming around and occasional hissing. I wasn’t ready for what for what I was about to see when I opened my eyes.

I froze, and a cold sweat spread across my entire body. My eyes were looking directly outside the window in front of me, only to see an entity staring back. I use the word ‘entity’ because in no way was this thing human. It’s skin was pitch black, and had various stitches across it’s face. Where it’s eyes were supposed to be, there were two vertical gray stitches. A hole was right in the middle of its face, so tiny, so minute, most likely this things nose.  It’s mouth was non-existent, only skin as black as the deepest depths of the ocean was there. Despite the fact that this thing had no eyes to stare with, I could still feel it’s gaze digging into my face. It’s head was so close to my bedroom window that the breath from it’s nose was fogging up the glass.

I laid there, my gaze locked with the monster in front of me for what seemed like forever. I couldn’t even hear the rain anymore, I could only focus on it’s face, and it’s steady breathing against the window. I didn’t snap out of it until Nollie began to hiss violently. My head jerked back and looked at her, she was clawing at the cage bars, begging to be let out. I turned my head back around facing the window, and the creature was gone. No fog, no stitched eyes, nothing.

Nollie never stopped hissing, but nonetheless, I closed my window’s blinds and laid on my back in the dark. My hands reached around beside me in the dark for ear plugs – the ones I only used for those nights when Nollie gets too hyper and decides to cause an earthquake in her cage.

Was that thing just a trick my sleep deprived mind played on me? I couldn’t stop thinking about it’s face in my mind. The stitches, the never ending darkness of it’s skin, the constant sound of it’s breathing against my window. I can’t sleep like this!

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It took some time before my mind calmed down and finally decided that I’m crazy, and desperately need sleep. I decided to roll over on my right side, eyes closed again. When I opened them, … my blinds weren’t the only thing that were opened this time.  My window was completely open.

I stared, wide eyed at the house across the street in the darkness. That thing wasn’t there, staring at me. Taking the chance, I shot straight up in bed, and closed my window, making sure the lock was on. Still looking across the street, I noticed my neighbor who lived in the house across the street was looking at me through his window now. His face was twisted into some kind of horrific expression.

Then I felt it.
Steady, deep breaths, on the nape of my neck.

I never heard it come into my room.

Credit To – AuroraTainted

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39 thoughts on “The Rain”

  1. I hate to be the one to say this, but ferrets do not hiss or squeak.
    They make a dook noise but that’s about it.

  2. So the monster came into the room and… well, nothing, for sure she survived since she is narrating the story some time after that, in past tense. Guess it really just wanted to find a shelter from the rain, after all.
    This kind of things should really be in the present tense to work.
    Aside from this detail, the story is not bad, although the narrator seems weirdly slow to realize danger, but please, please, please, “its face/mouth/whatever”, not “it’s”

  3. It was okay, but was also very vague in the details that should have mattered most, but paying attention to little details, like describing the pet or skylight, are something I would do if I was hungry. Perhaps you need some tea, or a cupcake. By the way if it was CandleJack, tell him I still need those ponies and that without them he won’t be able to have any cupcakes.

  4. This pasta was ok. There were a few grammatical errors, and the author seemed to get too wrapped up in detail that didn’t have anything to do with the story.

  5. the protagonist is so stupid. “my blinds that are never open are now open. nothing strange about that. ill just close them.”

    “theyre open again. nothing weird about that. ill just close them and hop in bed.”

    *eyes open* “oh they’re open again and a scary monster is there. let me just look away and – its gone. ill just close the blinds again.”

    “my window’s open. there’s no way that im in any danger. i should lock it and close my blinds again.”

  6. I’m really freaked out by this because right now is 3am and it’s raining and at my left there’s a glass window. I guess I’ll just put the blinds on and take off my headphones.

  7. Well when I finished this I turned to look over my shoulder, so great job on the creep factor :)

    My critiques are few, the first one being the bit about the sky light. I didn’t understand A) why she mentioned it or B) how someone could forget something that is in their own house.

    My other thought was that this would have been even scarier if the thing at her window wasn’t an entity or a monster but just a shape, could be a man, but maybe not. You could still have referred to it like this: I never heard the thing enter my room OR I never heard IT enter my room, and it still would have been eerie.

    Having said that, the description given of the being was pretty good, if not a bit cliche, and like I said I glanced over my shoulder when I was done reading it. I would love to eat more of your pasta. 9/10

  8. Fuck, dude.
    No one blows off the fact that their blinds are open when you remember closing them.
    Happened to me last night.
    Almost pissed my pants in the morning.
    Damn.

  9. I don’t scare, like at all. But man, this was pretty great. One of my favorites of all time. I felt a tingle of fear on my back with the ending. Well done. Please keep up the good work. Wonderful pasta.

  10. THEN WHO WAS THING!?

    Sorry, I just had to. But seriously, what was that thing? It reminded me slightly of Seed Eater, you know, the one with no eyes? Correct me if I’m wrong, but is that the right Creepypasta character?

    Nonetheless, a very good pasta, wonderful description, just describe the main character a little better, 8.8/10

  11. So typical, so predictable. Not one goosebump. Good writing, just lacks creativity, creepiness or imagination. I miss the days where creepypastas actually scared me.

    1. This.

      There comes a point where you want to read something that isn’t the SAME OLD THING OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

      Nowadays, creepypasta seems to have stories that are separated in two ways.

      Either the story is written decently BUT it is just one giant cliche that everyone has already read a million times.

      OR

      It’s an original idea that no one has really created before BUT it is written terribly and all the emotion has been sucked out of it as a result.

      Come-on writers! There has to be something more creepy in your imaginations than a scary monster haunting your window at night during the rain. I mean SERIOUSLY?! How did that idea ever pop into your head without thinking: “Oh my god, I would never write that because it is so ridiculously unoriginal.”

    2. I didn’t like this pasta. The author got wrapped up in the details that it just didn’t seem cohesive. What does the rain have to do with the monster? Why does getting up to get food matter? What purpose does the leak serve? It seems like a lot of (very rudimentary) atmosphere for an entity that sounded like it was just thrown in.

  12. THEN WHO WAS....nevermind o.O

    I personally liked this. I imagined the “thing” as you described it. Really creepy. I do, however, wonder what became of the poor character..

  13. The ending was sort of predictable.. but other than that i really enjoyed the story and the descriptiveness of the ‘ entity ‘ outside your window.

  14. You described the night very well, but I got a little lost in the details. I enjoyed the ending, a lot, though.

  15. It was an interesting pasta i’ll give it that. The introduction to the “entity” was way to early you should have built up suspense instead of it just appearing. The discription of the “entity” was very nice though, most times the discription is “a hellish face stared back at me” it was a good describing job. Despite the discription it just wasn’t creepy like a good “being and entities” should be. On the plus side there were very few spelling or Grammer errors. I rate 5. But keep writing you will become better soon.

  16. This was a really creepy creepypasta. You had excellent use of detail, imagery, metaphors, and syntax. Personally, I found my heartbeat rise near the end. Although most of my comments are positive, there were place for improvement

    When you introduced the character, you used subtle phrasing to reveal aspects of the character which is never too easy when using the first person. I think if you had introduced the character a little better, not necessarily a background story but a little depth to the character, it would have helped establish the tone.

    Also, the phrase “in no way was this ‘thing’ human” and “entity” both are really cliche and you really should try to avoid using them. It really takes away from the pasta.

    Other than that, and a few other minor grammar and usage issues, I really enjoyed this pasta and would gladfully nom on it again. 8.6/10.

    1. dude wj=hy are u correcting this its a story!…lol but still are u siriusly going ot waste ur time typeing all that

      1. Comments are for pointing out the wrongs in a story and telling the author what was good, what went wrong, and what the reader felt basically. And he isn’t lazy to type out his thoughts in a paragraph unlike you.

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