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The Mark of Canus



Estimated reading time — 11 minutes

In today’s society, the advent of science brings an understanding of the world which puts people into a sense of security. We know what the world is made of, the way chemistry, physics, biology, and geology all fit in to the picture. There’s not much humanity doesn’t understand anymore. But we do not have it all figured out, not entirely. There is still mystery out there, darkness hiding in the cracks between human understandings. Monsters, spirits of nature, artifacts of extreme power, these entities act on the world without our knowing, but every once in a while, perhaps only for a moment, they are perceived, that moment where the blood goes cold and the skin shivers, when we are struck with the realization that there is a reality of things is beyond science and mathematics. Some go insane, the mind broken by its sense of insignificance, or by something so frightening that the brain is thrown into despair so deep it turns over, accepting the new reality by way of erasing every facet of the old one, souring it in a debilitating logic vacuum. In some occasions, the mind is so affected by the supernatural that it becomes twisted, not fearful or stagnant, but psychotic, as if the supernatural unlocks a part of the human brain dormant, where the most twisted thoughts and notions are born. This part of the psyche creates terrors to rival the supernatural, and can cause us to commit unspeakable acts. There is no way to fully understand this part of our brain, but it exists, and the truth of it is a testament to the supernatural, even in the natural confines of the mind. In one case, an artifact of power has had devastating effects on humanity over time, and its nature cannot truly be perceived, unless one completely embraces the dark nature of the artifact itself, thus succumbing to that evil part of the mind, and saturating oneself in eternal darkness. One such artifact is the Mark of Canus, a manifestation of extreme evil in the world which predates man by some time. Many believe the Mark is eternal, it is, always was, and always will be, some others believe it was born of the deepest, darkest sin in some ancient ritual, others believe it was made by Satan, though it predates him as well. The Mark has inspired mass killings, suicide, and various other evils, too disgusting to explain in detail, and it has permeated into civilization for millennia. To some, it is a supernatural artifact which causes insanity, but the truth of it, the unknown, is so much more insidious.

The Mark of Canus is named after Canus Sepius Florius, commander of the Eighth Roman Legion, the man who is attributed to its discovery, and who brought the mark into Civilization. Canus was a bright young commander, very wary of each situation. He served under the Praetor’s great army during the defense against Hannibal in the Second Punic War, during which he proved his logic and skill on the battlefield against one of the most proficient strategists of all time. Canus was tasked with following Hannibal’s footsteps through the Alps and into Gaul, with the object of understanding the Carthaginian’s thinking behind his route, as well as setting up a defense against further potential attacks on Rome from Gaul. He brought with him 450 veteran legionnaires into the mountains, and two weeks later Canus returned, extremely ahead of schedule and completely alone. When asked what happened to his men, he replied “The legionnaires? Yes they returned home, they’re sleeping soundly in darkness.” This response deeply baffled the consul, and he had Canus taken into custody, for a real answer to the absence of his men. This is the testament of Haran Epiganus, the Roman who questioned Canus:

“As we were led to the chamber I noticed the distracted look of the commander. I thought nothing of it, after his response to the questioning of the consul I felt he had stress. Perhaps he was ambushed by barbarians and they broke his mind. It was only when we were locked in the room that I caught his eyes. They were made of terror, focused and alert, holes to the horrific mind of Hannibal himself. I could not bear to see them. I looked around, but Canus was locked on me. I finally got to the question, ‘What happened in the [Alps]? Those men, they are dead?’ Canus calmly started, ‘They are unto the darkness. May they feed the Mark.’ This answer was confusing, so I asked another question, ‘Canus, you were attacked?’ To which he quickly answered ‘May they feed the Mark.’ I asked around more, but the answer was the same every time. Then he went dazed, so I gripped his shoulder, then he jumped awake, and his eyes changed again. He took his necklace, a new piece, and threw it on the ground. He was frantic, rambling, I asked what was wrong. He replied, ‘The Mark! The Mark! Never let it touch me again, the terrible Mark!’ I asked what happened, what this Mark was, and what happened to the legionnaires. He told me he would only recall it once, and then begun, ‘We were marching up the [Alps] in Hannibal’s footsteps, making excellent progress. We made camp when night came, but I could not find sleep, though I had marched the whole day. I heard whispers, in ancient tongues, calling to me. I was disturbed, no way to sleep, so I went up to investigate. The whispers came from the cave, the unholy cave. I entered like a fool, lit a torch and ventured through the tunnels. The whispers became louder, and I started seeing shadows. Then I wished to turn back, but my legs kept onward, and I felt detached from my body. The feeling became more so, and then the visions stared. I saw visages of a single Mark, this frightening symbol as old as time itself. I do not wish to describe it to you. Then the visions contained blood, and killing, not like on the battlefield, killing from the most violent nightmares. I ventured for hours, farther and farther down into the mountain, until I reached a chamber at the bottom, perfectly round and made of the same stone as the cave walls. No markings anywhere, no furniture, but the chamber seems so perfect yet not man made. In the center, on the ground lay the necklace. A shining piece in sterling silver, no gems, bearing the Mark that persisted in my visions. I heard the whispers rise here, and the rapid beat of drums, the likes of which I had never heard. The sounds rose to a deafening volume, then suddenly dropped out to silence. I then took another look at the necklace, and saw the Mark again, and was filled with a terror so deep it drove into my being. It overcame me swiftly, I released my bladder, and took a step back in fear. Then something took me, seized my body, and gripped my soul. I felt a scraping inside me, all over a sense of wurms in my blood, shivering inside me. It stopped, and I heard a loud whisper, right next to my ear, slave. My mind burst then with images of the Mark, and then the brutalization of my men. It was uncontrollable, part of me released and gripping my mind in fury. The Mark all over everything. I felt a presence inside, one that was not my own. I went to the necklace, put it on, and realized the Mark itself was inside me, and I now lost control. I had to watch as I walked out of the cave, and went back to the camp. I slept in my tent, nightmares the entire night, the disturbing and silent images of the Mark coursing through me. I did not understand it, but I do now. The true terror would warp your mind if I spoke of the Mark in its full evil. It is ancient, beyond the time of men, working with a dark force so much more powerful than the Gods themselves. I woke up, washed over with insanity. I was outside of the person which was me, and I watched in terror as I led the men to a mountain pass, and ordered them to stop. I showed the Mark to them, and it took them all, stopped them in fear. I proceeded to slaughter them all while they stood. I took out the hearts, ate them, then cut off the face. The blood everywhere, I washed in a stream, and made my way back to Rome.’ I stood terrified at his testimony. I looked at the necklace and a shiver caught my back. That was all I needed, Canus confessed to killing the legionnaires. I wasn’t sure if his story was true however part of me believed it, when I saw the Mark. Either way, it was time to tell the consul…”

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This chilling story is only the beginning of the Mark in humanity. Haran spread the word of the Mark to Rome, and it became known as Canus’ Mark, or the Mark of Canus. They say the Mark can affect anyone. It chooses freely, and you don’t need to look directly at it for it to take you. The necklace itself is referred to as the Mark of Canus, but the image itself has power as well. The relationship between image and necklace in terms of power is not entirely known, however it is known that wherever the necklace goes, the evil is always there. It has passed hands from the Romans to the Germans, then the English, then to America. It instills fear where ever it is, and the killings always follow. Many have tried to study the Mark, but its existence is entirely a mystery. Some say Canus did not actually find it, that he made it, others say it is alien in origin, most believe it does not exist, because it cannot be explained. In 1745, the Mark was found on a witch in America. The witch was found out, and the Mark confiscated. The magistrate ordered the Mark destroyed, saying it was of the Devil, but it was taken by one of his own men, Edward Tiller, a Puritan clergy. Edward fled the country by boat, went to Spain with the Mark, and committed suicide there without any excuse. It was said by Tiller’s wife that he left, “without any cause or reason, but with such obsession [She] never saw in him before.” Most likely the Mark had taken Tiller, as she found pictures of it in his closet, scribbled with chalk.

The Mark’s legend was strong by the 1930s, so strong that it sparked the curiosity of one such German leader who had been obsessed with the occult. Adolf Hitler, furor of Nazi Germany, led a campaign throughout the world to collect objects of supernatural significance, and studying their power to weaponize it. Hitler sent Gustav Kerch, an SS official, to Spain to find this Mark of Canus. Kerch was successful, the Mark around his neck when he returned to the furor. He handed the necklace over to the SS, but it didn’t matter, the Mark already had him. He then returned to his original post, the administration of the concentration camp Auswitz. He let the Mark control him, and with its darkness he became notoriously cruel, openly killing many prisoners with his bare hands, eating their hearts, and cutting off their faces. One Joshua Dicsh, a Polish Jew held in Auswitz, recounts his brush with Kerch,

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“During my time in Auswitz, I saw many horrors. My fellow Jews, working themselves to death, through starvation. The Germans were merciless, but there was one man in particular who was even more disturbed then the worst Nazi, his name was Gustav Kerch. Kerch was the man in charge of Auswitz, and he was more terrifying than the camp itself. He stalked the camp, looking with those eyes, those terrible eyes. They were like pools of the bluest poison, ominous and deep. It was like looking into the eyes of Beelzebub himself. He was insane, often times breaking into fits of rage, scribbling symbols on the walls, and rambling in other languages. The guards said one of them heard him talking to himself in his chambers, in dual tongues. We dared not sleep alone at night, and in the day we worked hardest to keep him satisfied. One morning I was working in the mill with Deter, and Franz making helmets when Kerch walked in to inspect us. He had those eyes again, I could hear whispers around him, as is right out of my nightmares. He looked at Franz’ work and smiled his wolfish grin, ‘Excellent craftsmanship, Franz. Were it not for your foul Jewish nature you would be a master at your trade. Leave now to work in the yard!’ He dismissed Franz, then walked to Deter. “Oh Deter, this is wonderful. Very nice camouflage paint on the sides. The Bolshevik hordes will never see us coming! Now, you may join Franz in the yard. Go now!’ Kerch may have been a psychopath, but even he could not ignore superior metal working. He then moved to me, and he changed. The whispers became louder. He looked at my helmet, a ding in the side, the swastika unfinished, and he looked filled with a calm, almost otherworldly anger. ‘Joshua, a truly Jewish name. You must have roots in Canaan, don’t you? You’re filthy, this work is shameful. You’re good for nothing, besides to stink up the ground like dirt and mud.’ Then his voice changed completely, ‘Look at me, child.’ I stared into his eyes, and I saw it, the Mark, the terrible Mark! It was hideous, drenched in ancient blood, ungodly and disgusting. I thought it of the devil at first, demonic and Hellish, but as I stared it took on a different quality altogether, something much more terrifying, basing its power in fear itself, rather than torment. I could see the terror on my own face, then I was out of my own body, and I found myself in front of a room, not like any other I had seen. The Mark was all over the walls, and a light shone in the middle of the room. I went towards it, unable to control myself, and when I nearly came upon it, the light disappeared. In its place was Kerch, covered in blood and laughing hysterically. I had begun to weep when he stopped and called to me, he then whispered, but I could hear it as if he were right in my ear, ‘slave.’ I cried out, ‘No, no, no!’ I begged, pleaded, but Kerch only continued to laugh as he took out a combat knife, slit his own throat, and watched the blood drain out on the floor. I stood frozen in terror as the blood pooled and Kerch fell to the ground, then gaped as the blood on the floor started spinning, forming a whirlpool in the room. I prayed out loud to the Lord and begged for forgiveness, but then I started to see the scarlet whirlpool change, as if something was stirring inside, it begun to climb out, ever so slightly I noticed a form move from the puddle, then I blacked out. I woke up in my cot, soiled and sweating. The prisoners were cheering, and Franz came to me, told me Kerch was dead, had killed himself in his room. They found his body on the floor, he slit his own throat, but there was no blood anywhere.”

Legend has it the Mark itself was cast into the Mediterranean, and washed up somewhere in Africa. The myths were recognized by the US government as fear-inducing propaganda, and all traces of it were wiped from the archives. The reasoning behind this is shrouded in mystery, but the government continues today to deny its existence, and maintains tight internet censorship of the Mark. Most searches for it come up empty, but every once in a while something slips.

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The power behind the Mark of Canus is unknown, we cannot imagine its true nature. What we do know, is how it can affect us. The Mark doesn’t need to be touched to affect someone, in many cases, merely seeing its likeness can cause it to grip you. Often times, the Mark finds you, as several have claimed to see the Mark clearly where others cannot. This signals its arrival into your mind, and you should be worried. The Mark existed before man’s impact on the world, it doesn’t need to be where people are. Some have claimed to see it etched in the woods, in deep parts where no one has been. One thing is for sure, if you see the Mark, you are not safe. Efforts have been made to secure the Mark, to contain it in order to protect humanity from its devastating evil. These attempts have all failed, as the Mark can control men, make them do crazy things. Most who see the Mark experience nightmares, hysteria, fever, hyper salivation, dehydration, sometimes blindness or paralysis, and always insanity. The Mark so far has not directly killed anyone, but almost all who see the Mark end up committing suicide, to escape the mind-numbing terror. Attempts to destroy the Mark have also failed, as it seems to be made of an unbreakable metal. People in exposure to the Mark have claimed to experience prophetic dreams or visions, images of the Mark as the creator and destroyer of humanity, and extreme love from the Mark, as it nurtures them. They claim the Mark is sentient, that it watched over everything, that it exists in the deepest oceans, the darkest forests, and in the confines of our minds. They claim the Mark is always there, even when we don’t perceive it, that it is fear, and whenever we are afraid the Mark is with us. The creepy part is that they can recite testimonies for events that they should not have known about, places they weren’t present. One cop was startled as an “odd-acting” perp once told him about his son’s birthday party as if he had been there, when the party happened in a private place over a decade ago. The Mark is all around us, thriving in fear and the unexplained. Some day you may just see it, even for a moment, then it will haunt you for the rest of your life, which may be shorter than you think. Is there something you can do? No, not so far, but you can only hope the Mark passes you by in silence, and you never have to hear that whisper in your ear, “slave.”

Credit To – Greg Padrick

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Copyright Statement: Unless explicitly stated, all stories published on Creepypasta.com are the property of (and under copyright to) their respective authors, and may not be narrated or performed under any circumstance.

49 thoughts on “The Mark of Canus”

  1. I’m considering looking up the mark of canus to see what it looks like but now I’m scared to… On that note, good job this was a nice read. I hope you continue to write creepypastas in the future, in the meantime keep up the good work! *^*

  2. psychotic_monkey

    Great pasta but you should do an audio version of this to make it seem more realistic cause while I was reading where it mentioned Hitler I started thinking about the swastika and how it derived from a mark of hope to a Nazi symbol over att good pasta

  3. I assure you your story was completely original. Only reason I asked is because the games main antagonist is an ancient relic called the Marker which has similar effects on the mind as the Mark. Other than that they’re two completely different concepts.

  4. Very well written and interesting story; absolutely enjoyed every minute of it. Just wondering though, was this at all inspired by the plot of Dead Space?

  5. A few questions, first, is there a real mark? Second, were these acounts real, in the sense that the people that were mentioned went insane?

    You are an amazing writer, and I’m looking forward to some more creepylasganga!!!

    1. Thank you very much! Im glad you loved it. To put your mind at ease, it’s all fiction. The Mark of Canus, and the accounts, all contrived. That you had to ask was an extreme compliment, I tried to put it into real-life language to give it a documentary feel. There is more to come, a sort of series involving Mark. The site now has a Mark of Canus tag, and the admin has been so kind as to place my stories into the category together. Admin permitting, there will be a lot more. This is only the beginning of pastas to come from me involving these concepts.

  6. My first thought was to comment about paragraph size, but after reading earlier comments, I can respect your reasons. My only suggestion is more grammatical. You seem to adore commas, and while it is grammatically correct, it starts to look odd when there are so many. I’d suggest you start implementing colons and semi-colons to add some variety in your punctuation. Also, I was not introduced to texts with so many commas in school, so it was a type of writing that was uncomfortable for me to read. Just something to keep in mind.
    Beyond that, I enjoyed the story. It was interesting, and I enjoyed the historical accounts. Well done.

    1. Your comment is well noted. I strive to fix any discrepancies in the grammar. I greatly appreciate it. Yeah I cant help it, I have a comma addiction, and im trying to kick it. I just love them so much lol.

  7. I couldn’t even finish it. To me, it was terrifying.I only managed to read up to the part about images and power. Great job! I had to scroll right down to the comments to calm myself, I was also half expecting an image of the mark. (ykbow, since it kinda makes the story bogus if there is one) it provided a sense of realism for me, which is something that is rare to find in just any other pasta.

    As a result, i’ve just written a long comment (long for my standard) about this. Haha! This is a first for me. Very, very happy for this read.

    1. Oh wow! I guess im sorry? I hope it wasn’t too bad. I guess im glad it was scary, and Im relieved you enjoyed it. Keep looking, theres more to come!

  8. Wow, I must admit that this is an excellent exposition to a story. Its mysterious enough to keep me on the edge of my seat, but defined enough to make me want to guess what’s next, if you are going to continue in this vein, I will definitively would like to read your later works!

  9. i love this pasta! its kinda lovecraftian that the horror of the mark is beyond human understanding that humanity is just an insignificant slave used by the mark for its purpose unable to be discerned by simple human minds…. and let me add, if the mark can’t be destroyed by humans, maybe something that isn’t human can destroy it…

    1. Im very happy you enjoyed it. As ive said before, I wrote it to invoke thought as to our own perception. Lovecraft is a huge influence on me lol. oooooh maybe you’re catching on?? Well try writing your own story about the Mark, developing that idea, and Id love to read it, if you like to write. I have no license to the Mark of Canus, and I give full permission to use it in your writing, in fact I encourage it. Im only one person, far from the best writer around anywhere, and so seeing the Mark in the context of other writers would make me excited.

  10. UEG MEAT:
    I need to apologize, ive been a little sick and exhausted. I should not have been so obtuse or rude to you in my comments. While I may actually disagree, you don’t deserve my snippiness, and I am embarrassed to see how childish my comments have been towards you. Please forgive my behavior. I look forward to you critique in the future. Thank you.

    You’re prefectly fine in your retorts lol I will honestly admit; I was just being a bitch outside of my relevant criticism. I probably don’t like exposition outside of a novel and was trying to say in a snide why short stories should be short. Your entry is great and well received outside of my opinions so please, continue writing and growing as an author! I look forward to reading more of your works.

    1. Well just glad there are no hard feelings. Its just a story, no need for me to be mean to someone, it seems kind of egotistical im sure. Like I said, im glad some people don’t like the way its written, that just means there are ways to fix it, believe me, im an editor for the writing club at my college, im usually a lot more unforgiving than anyone else. Anyhow, I should confess, this IS only exposition, however I meant it to be. You see, I wrote this for the writer’s club, they wanted a sount topic to write on to release writers block, you know some lore they could build together, they liked this one and wanted me to put it on Creepypasta. Its probably not in the format of a creepypasta. It was created to give the reader an abstract concept they could have fun developing into their own stories. I recommend that my readers take the Mark and write their own scary stories so I can read them, and collect them for a sort of Mark of Canus collection, a complete lore. That was what it was created for. I guess its not really a pasta…

  11. I don’t much like this one. The paragraphs are huge and worst of all every line is runs straight through. I.e wall of text, not complete as there are multiple paragraphs, but it still made it pretty bad.

    I also don’t much like the rather akward language in general. But that’s secondary.

    1. I’m sorry it was hard for you to read. I’ve already touched on the whole paragraph thing, so I won’t get into it, and I’m not entirely sure what you mean by “every line is runs through” Like my sentences don’t end on the line? Well I wasn’t writing verse, but also a good point if by that you mean I had run-on sentences. I have struggled in the past with my long sentences, and I strive towards fixing them, but people have their writing issues all the same. It’s hard to break the habit. I hope to put something out in the future you will enjoy.

    1. Very good point, but that really doesn’t have much to do with content or writing style, does it? Open the book on your desk and count the indentations, paragraphs are separations of ideas, a single paragraph is divided into assertion, support, inter-support evidence, continued support, continued inter-support evidence, and reassertion. Paragraphs are designed to house central ideas and separate them from other central ideas, with the purpose of maintaining clarity in your writing. They are not designed for breaking up text so it looks easier to read. I’m sorry if my story was so boring you just had to comment on my number of paragraphs, and I’m terribly sorry if any of this offends you, it’s not really aimed at you, but at everyone who thinks that walls of text are a problem. It’s called elaboration, going to greater lengths to explain or support a point, and it is heresy to break up your point for the sake of smaller blocks of text. The average detailed 3000 word paper (my pasta was only a little over 3k) should have a 4-5 paragraphs. Now to be fair, that is different if you are writing dialogue, but as my pasta was largely if not all exposition/lay testimony that doesn’t pertain to this case. Again I’m really sorry if this strikes you as mean, but It cam up in another comment and it baffles me that this is an issue, when everyone else has such great criticisms and suggestions, mainly because it has absolutely nothing to do with the writing, only the look of it. If that’s what gets you, that is ok with me if you pass my pasta by, but if you read it you might like it, and if you don’t still well then you’ll actually have something pertinent to put in the comments. I guess I will just take this one to Creepylasagna instead lolol Get it, cause its like pasta, only blocky…

      1. Frankly, it’s difficult to read, and that takes away from the enjoyment one gets from reading. While it seems very well thought out, and I applaud you for your hard work in writing and then posting it for critical feedback, you should understand something very simple.

        If your work looks like a jumbled mess, typically people will not only not read it, they will tell you why they didn’t read it. As you’ve already seen.

        Like I said, I applaud what you did in terms of content ( I did read your story), but a huge wall of text is not my favorite way of reading something that is so detailed. Smaller paragraphs allow for better absorption of the theme, or message, or topic you’re talking about.

        1. Your criticism is always welcomed, but smaller paragraphs also break up the point, to where your text is too splintered to be an effective read. every time you break for a new paragraph, you force the reader into a pause, a conscious ending of one point, and beginning of another. so when you start a new paragraph every three sentences, you drag out the theme and may lose your reader, as to the actual point of the text. Its a common way of making a short, undetailed paper without much support or topic look better, more appealing, as if more paragraphs mean more topics and a broader and more detailed point, when in fact it’s only half the content it should be. Like your comment, you told me I should understand something simple, broke for a new paragraph then continued. That made me stumble, mentally trip over your comment, because here is this paragraph going on, and im reading about what I need to understand, willing to listen. Then topic just drops out, no statement till the next paragraph. Then that paragraph was two sentences about what I should know about paragraphs. An assertion, albeit a good one, with absolutely no support, a real, outside example or restatement of point, then another paragraph. It was not easier to read, man, it was trippy, because the prime structure of an actual paragraph was not even there. But I guess if it looks easy to read, then its good? Oh no, I wish. Yes, my paragraphs are a little long, youre not the only one to say so. That will change in the future, however if you are under the illusion that that is how writing should be, consult an expert source, not me. then you may see a few very long paragraphs which support my claim. If you don’t like my writing style, that’s ok, but again, the long blocks of text have nothing to do with content, It’s a different format. If you like seeing a break in paragraphs every two lines, consult Dickenson verse or a Shakespearean play, there’s plenty of those there. That nastiness aside, your feedback, the relevant part, is very well received.

        2. I need to apologize, ive been a little sick and exhausted. I should not have been so obtuse or rude to you in my comments. While I may actually disagree, you don’t deserve my snippiness, and I am embarrassed to see how childish my comments have been towards you. Please forgive my behavior. I look forward to you critique in the future. Thank you.

  12. Some nit-picking. It’s Führer, not furor.

    Also, I think “USA” would be better than “America”. Just… because.

    1. Yup, I’ve had that come up. Common American misspelling of the word, as I’ve seen it many times. If I could edit it, I would. Oh and I didn’t mean the USA, America had not won independence by the time the Mark had been first brought there. But also a good point.

  13. I may just be tired, but I found this really hard to read. I didn’t even get past the first paragraph (if you can call it that), but from what I could read it seems like it could be a good pasta. I’ll try to read it another time.

    1. I completely understand. My writing is very particular, I’ve struggled with it before. I have this thing with commas, it’s grammatically correct, however it can be tedious to read. I’m sorry you could not read the writing style, that makes me sad because you could have enjoyed it. Anyway, I will make a greater attempt in the future to keep my writing on a level that people actually want to read. Many in writing clubs have told me my writing is too scientific to be good, which given my field of study is understandable, most Biochem students don’t write for fun. Thank you for your feedback, and I hope that later I can put something readable out for you to enjoy.

      1. Thanks for commenting, you reminded me that I hadn’t finished reading it yet. I actually liked it. It was a bit difficult to read because of the long paragraphs, but over all a very good pasta and worth the read.

        Oh, and the writing level doesn’t bother me in the slightest. I do enjoy some stories with scientific basis, but only the ones it really fits with.

        1. Im glad it worked out for you! Yea it was kkind of like a report, like an SCP or something. Ive been told before of the lengthy paragraphs, and I may have went off on someone on accident, I like long paragraphs myself, but when everyone is sayin something its time to take a hint lol

  14. I’m sorry, I know this probably seems like nit-picking, but it’s “Führer”, not furor. I just… couldn’t seem to let that one go.

    Furor/furore: noun.
    An outbreak of public anger or excitement.
    Synonyms: commotion, uproar, outcry, disturbance, tumult, pandemonium…

    You get the idea. I hope.

    Anyway. I wanted to like this more than I did, I’m not really sure what it was that put me off (other than the Führer thing) but perhaps it was the vagueness of it (though normally I don’t really find that a problem, so I dunno) or… no, honestly, I really have no idea what it was. Maybe it was just poor timing on my part, as far as reading it goes – I’ll give it another shot some other time and see if it was just me. ‘Cause really, I did want to like it, I do usually love a bit of history in this sort of thing and you chose some interesting pieces of history to put in there, but (at least this time around) I just… couldn’t seem to get into it or something. But I’ve bookmarked it for another day, anyway.
    Just had to comment now rather than later ’cause now I really am kinda curious why I didn’t like it as much as I was expecting… and to be perfectly honest I just couldn’t help myself with the whole Führer/furor thing, I had to say something. It was making me oddly twitchy and irritable for some reason. German OCD?

    1. Thank you for you correction, though I should remind that Fuhrer (with the umlaut O) is a German word, and my writing is in English. I happen to be Italian-American, an speak English and Romance languages like Spanish and Italian (to a point), so the “German OCD” doesn’t exist within me as well. To add to that, I’ve seen that spelling many times in English writing, though the alternate definition, the one displayed, does exist. It’s a common Americanization/American error of the word. I’m very happy to see negative feedback, and that tells me I need to tailor my writing to a broader audience, a principle I know well, but must have ignored (I tend to do that). Your comment was well received, I intend on writing in the future something you will most definitely like.

  15. Sorry, but it just feels like neverending exposition to me. Good background for something, especially if diluted in a longer work, but no real story. It is well written exposition, sure, but still exposition.

    1. No need to apologize, I’m glad you made that comment. Yes, it is all exposition. It was intended to be an exposition to the theme I am currently building upon, to give a first understanding to the ideas behind later works. I already have more stuff written. That was entirely my purpose. Now, that being said you comment has made me think. This was my first pasta, and I’m wondering if a writing like this is not right for Creepypasta, to say that exposition style isn’t what people are looking for? So while it was intended, it’s not right. Is that correct? I’m asking honestly so I don’t make a mistake again.

    1. It could probably stop Batman, but superman? That would be a stretch but my best answer is that since Superman isn’t human it may not have the same effect. Could be not as bad, could be way worse. Honestly I’d rather try Kryptonite just so I’m sure, I mean weaponizing the Mark to fight super heroes seems like an empty gesture, seeing as every disgruntled sidekick and crazed nemesis around is coming up with better and brighter super hero fighting tactics even today. An app for the Mark will be hitting the app store soon, but I wouldn’t expect much, with Steve Jobs gone…

  16. Im glad you liked it, Its supposed to be scary. Honestly it kept me up too, and I wrote the darn thing. I’ve started a follow up series, with one installment every week, ill be getting a website up for it soon, but for now just shoot me an email if you want more [email protected]. -Greg P.

  17. Alright, so far, this is the only pasta that made me very damn terrified. I was about going to sleep while reading some pasta, but after reading this? I wouldn’t even dare to leave my bed

    1. What gives? it’s supposed to be a compliment you know. Anyone who downvoted this must have been took it the wrong way :/

  18. Extremely cool story. Love ancient evil and terror. The Mark turned out too abstract to really connect with me, but I still loved the story, and the idea. Very well written and executed. 9/10

    1. Thank you so much, Its my first pasta. I’ll try to take what you said into consideration with further writings. I’ll be writing a follow up series that is more in depth and story-aligned, one episode every week, and ive already got one so if you want more shoot me an email, [email protected] -Greg P

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