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The Mannequin



Estimated reading time — 4 minutes

I think it’s cute how my daughter, Ryan, has such a vivid imagination. She always thanks me for carrying her to bed after she falls asleep on the couch. But I never do that, so I just figure that she wakes up, very sleepily, and walks herself to bed whenever this happens.

Late tonight, Ryan and I are watching a movie. Normally, I don’t let her stay up very late, but since it’s the summer, what harm could it do?

Lo and behold, we both fell asleep, Ryan on the couch, and I on the armchair. I awake and glance over at the clock, which reads 2:47 am. I reach over to the remote control and shut the television off.

“Ryan, time for bed,” I say groggily. No response. I tilt my head to get a better view of the couch, and alas, there’s no Ryan. I head upstairs to go into her bedroom, just to make sure she’s asleep.

I push the door open and flip the switch. Ryan rolls over, and looks at me, slightly confused.

“You woke me up,” she says, “thank you for carrying me, Mom.”

“I didn’t, Ry. You woke yourself up and walked to your room, silly.”

“No I didn’t… you carried me. I woke up when we were on the stairs, and saw your arms underneath my legs.” I froze. I know she has a stretched imagination, but this was too eerie for me. I try to put some logic into the situation by labeling one of us as sleepwalkers. No big deal, tomorrow, I’m going to buy a camera for the living room and see who the sleepwalker in this family is.

Tomorrow comes, and I have just purchased a camera. I charge it all day so that I’m ready for nightfall. Once charged, the camera is placed on a side table so that there’s a decent view of most of the living room and the archway that leads to the stairs. Perfect!

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Night comes, of course, and Ryan is sitting on the couch, ready to watch her favorite show, Spongebob Squarepants.
“Have fun with your Spongebob marathon, Ryan. I’m going to bed.”

“Okay, good night!”

Before I leave for my bedroom, I turn the camera on. The recording light is on, so that’s my cue to head for bed.

The morning light comes and floods my bedroom. Immediately I think of the recording from last night, so I rush out of bed, and headed straight for the camera. Once it’s grabbed, it’s time to plug it into my computer and watch what happened last night.

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Everything seems normal for the first few episodes of the Spongebob marathon. But then it reaches the episode where a big worm invades Bikini Bottom. I always laugh at that episode when Patrick says “we should take Bikini Bottom and push it somewhere else!” So of course, I was expecting that line. I was ready to laugh when I noticed something wasn’t quite right with the episode. During that scene where all of the town’s citizens are debating what to do in the Krusty Krab, I notice that there was a random mannequin thrown into the crowd. But instead of it being a drawn character like the rest of the fish in the show, the mannequin was realistic, err, sort of. She had no eyes, ears, or nose, but most mannequins don’t. However, she had a petite mouth.

I know Spongebob sometimes has hidden sexual innuendos, but throwing in a random mannequin into the crowd just didn’t seem like “normal” Spongebob. Finally, the episode got to my favorite part! But the episode still wasn’t right. Patrick starts to say his line.

“We should take the mannequin and push it into Ryan’s world,” he says as he stares straight at the screen.

I’m frightened. Did he really just say Ryan’s name?!

As the episode continues, the fish of Bikini Bottom start to push the mannequin forward and into the screen. After a few strong pushes, the mannequin starts popping through the television! The mannequin makes a thunk as she hits the ground. She’s stiff and still holding her mannequin-like pose.

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At this point, my eyes are wide with fear, but I just can’t stop watching.

The mannequin remains stiff on the ground for a few minutes, and my dear Ryan is sleeping on the couch, not aware of what just happened in front of her.

Finally, there’s movement. The mannequin is slowly moving her plastic arms to lift herself off of the ground. Once she’s up, she walks towards sleeping Ryan. I see her give Ryan a slight smile, kind of like a mother seeing her baby. The mannequin picks my child up and carries her to her bedroom. Rapidly, I think that the mannequin might still be in her bedroom, doing who knows what.

A few minutes of the video passes, and the mannequin makes her way back downstairs and into the living room. Good, she’s going back into the T.V. I make a mental note to destroy the television A.S.A.P. But she didn’t continue her way to the television. Instead, she walks slowly to the camera that recorded this entire event.

Finally, the mannequin’s “face” is taking up the entire screen on my computer. She gives me that same smile she gave my Ryan, but it quickly changes. The smile becomes a terrifying view of several rows of sharp, yellow teeth. Oh my god! She’s leaping through the scrghuiruhregrhirnijvkjdsoijgijogohreh

Credit To: Yoko

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61 thoughts on “The Mannequin”

  1. What. The. Hell. This is by far the worst creepypasta I’ve ever read. I don’t even feel like going into detail of everything that was wrong with it. There’s way too much to explain. But one thing that I WILL mention? You need to learn how to stay in either past or present tense, instead of jumping between the two.

  2. Oh my gosh. I finished the story, then went to the comments section and there was an advertisement FOR WHOLESALE MANNEQUINS!!! BWAHAHAHA

  3. at the end the mannequin could have started to change into her mirror image and then say im going to replace you no matter what and im almost half way there

  4. The ending was pretty bad, I mean, the mannequin attacking you? And you managed to post this online? I understand that the mannequin could do it but not that great. Otherwise, amazing story. Really creepy imagining the mannequin staring at you

  5. The sauce is good, but the pasta itself is rather stale. Could be brilliant if you removed the cliche bit at the end (falling onto the keyboard)…and please don’t mind my criticism. 8.5/10.

  6. i dont get it… she typed that is was coming into the camera screen and she even typed her death, its like monty python and the holy grail… and she did not go into her childs room to see if shes ok.

  7. I really like the story for this pasta, but I’ll have to agree with everyone on the ‘the ending could’ve been better’ thing.
    Otherwise, it was brilliant! I have a slight of mannequins(I think it’s the lack of a face, it’s just unnatural) so I think you’ll be proud to hear that I probably wont be sleeping tonight!
    8.5/10 from me :)

  8. It was definitely not the wort pasta I’ve read on here. I’d say, work a little more on which tense you want to use. It’s not as bad as a lot of others, but sometimes it got a little confusing.

    As to the ending, I don’t know… is it cliche? A little bit, but think about if you were typing on a scree and something leaped out of it at you. You’d either hit the keyboard in panic, or it would, so honestly, it’s cliche, but realistic.

    Anyway, not the best pasta, not the worst. A solid 6/10.

  9. This story was interesting. I’ve also been reading the comments and appreciate the author’s ability to take criticisms constructively and politely.

    1. Thanks, I’m glad you found the story interesting! I need to take all of these criticisms politely if I ever want to write a better story. Gotta give the audience what they want!

  10. Umm…This is…Umm…Why is the a maerquin on my scree noqvlbgiakrgas;egvujsa;egbujse;gsu;iggarfgal;bhlefiuaefl;iaeufbaelfhbae,fabhed,flabhefklajbefhnbqafalwefubalweukfáliuef€ér unmí54…Hello readers! Im the Maerquin of this story! And I now have your address!!! Im coming for you :)!!! Aron Baxster…Your next! Muhhahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Best Wishes Manerquin!

  11. Well, i liked the pasta. Scary Cliche does have a point though. You did a really good job otherwise. Was this your first pasta? (7/10)

  12. I really loved the rows of razor sharp teeth, and is this like one of those weird clothing store mannequins or an even weirder sex mannequin? Both are weird but I must know this.

    1. Lol, I was imagining one of those clothing stores mannequins with nothing but a scary mouth. Mannequins scare me so much, so I had to use one in the story.

  13. tv. for years it has been entertaining humanity. none of us stop to consider what it is getting from us in return.

    who’s watching who?

  14. Why did you choose the name ryan? I usually think of that as a guy’s name with the female version being Rianne or Ryanne. It wasn’t overly annoying, just distracting.

    1. Well, I was sitting next to my brother when I wrote this story and I asked him to give me the first name he could think of.

      He gave me Ryan, so it stuck.

  15. I liked this one. Felt a little dissappointed after the cliche ending, and it confused me why the mannequin attacked her since it was so nice to Ryan during the story?

    Oh well, the story was entertaining and hold me in its grasp to the end.

    1. it’s funny because i remember watching that episode thinking ‘hey that reminds me of a creepypasta i read…’

  16. To awes0meaxel: Glad you liked the pasta. I like the blue screen idea, wish I thought of it myself. I also like the camera cutting off, but then I wouldn’t know what to say after the camera cut off. Great suggestions though!

    Everyone else, sorry if I’m not responding to each person. But I really appreciate everyone’s suggestions! If you liked my pasta, thank you. If you didn’t, sorry, I tried, lol.

    Keep the suggestions coming, I like reading your thoughts and opinions.

    1. Dude, no being sorry allowed lol you tried, and did a good job. ‘Nuff said. And if anyone doesn’t appreciate this good pasta well then they should use their genitals for shark bait lol really though, you did pretty good.

  17. Loved the pasta, but the ending should have been different.
    May i suggest instead of the mannequin leaping through the monitor, it perhaps should have ended with the computer blue screening, or the camera cutting out?

  18. i think it was really good at frist i thought it was about slender man or whatever but then the mannique came and the spoge bob thing to it was awesoom it would also be a great paranorm episode

    1. Well, technically, there is a Doctor Who episode that does in fact use this concept. I think the story was well written. Blink is the episode of Doctor Who, the Weeping angle comes through the screen of the security officer’s screen and kills him. (I think that is what happens, I haven’t seen the episode in a long time.)

  19. To Skole: Thank you for the suggestion, it probably would have sounded better if I ended it that way instead of the mess of letters. I’m glad you liked the rest though.

  20. I liked the pasta but the ending was bad. Personally i hate it when people throw random letters in, instead you could use a – instead (She’s leaping through the scr-)

    1. That last sentence with the random letters made me think of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. The Castle of Aughhhhhhh.

  21. Hey there, author here.

    To Alex: No, it wasn’t meant to be a ParodyPasta, but I can see how one would think so. It’s just bad, lol.

    To Z.S. Davies: I think it falls into a cliche as well, but I honestly didn’t know how to end it.

    Thank you both for your honest opinions.

    1. I don’t think it’s fair at all to label it as “bad”. It’s actually quite good. I just think the last sentence seems kind of comical and out of place. Maybe instead you could have just stopped narrating. “Oh my god! She’s leaping through the” would have been my preference. However, that minor detail does not detract from the fact that the tale is unique and creepy. Well done.

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