The Lilies Are Bleeding
My lilies are my most prized possession. Hand picked. I will only take the most supremely beautiful specimens. They must be white as an angel’s wings, and so soft and delicate to the touch that you must be careful of the harm you bring to them. Perhaps it is selfish of me to hoard them as I do. But as it is I who takes them first, it is I who shall enjoy them, their sweet, intoxicating scent and their soothing elegance.
To listen to the lily’s voice is to hear the sound of unrestrained magnificence, fine tuned to stir the soul into a passionate uproar. It is for this reason that I keep my lilies, one dozen at a time, at all times. I must hear the cry of my recherché beauties, bear witness to their bleeding, revel in the need they have for me. At first, even I, pious as I am, questioned this desire, but finding the answer proved such a splendor in its own rite. It is seeing my lilies weakened into such a state that I am all they have left, as they are all I have left, that I derive a satisfaction indescribable to one who has not experienced it themselves. But nothing is perfect forever. One of my lilies has wilted. I must be off immediately to replace her.
–
Credited to Poizn.
inb4IDONTGETIT
I’m sure this’ll get a lot of those, and I’m fine with it.
Hmm, This would have been creepy if you had put more evidence out that what you were talking about was a human. I mean, it was written really well. But at the end it seemed like you were actually talking about another rose. Not a woman.
Was really good. Then ending and the way it’s written reminds me just a little bit of Harold.
I could kind of guess where this was going from the start, but it still made me flinch. Delicious pasta.
Shit, I forgot to say inb4needs2bmoarspecific/lessvague. :C
My name is Lily!
:shiftyeyes:
Wilted = decomposed? Ewwww.
I liked it.
I was guessing where this was going. I think many pastas on the “Madness” category fall onto this delusions…
But what really touched was the last word. It was when I said “Yep, that’s it. Creepy all right.”
I got it and it creeped me the fuck out.
THEN WHO WAS LILIES?
read it 1st time – WHAT
read it 2nd time – FFFUUUUUUU
love it
Poizn, as I told you in the forums, I love this.
For Caedus, are you stupid?
The whole POINT was to make it seem like he was talking about a flower.
Well, I’m thoroughly creeped out and it’s only 5:04 PM.
Love this. Rather appropriate for Valentine’s Day.
And yes, I did understand it the first time around xD
Interesting idea, flowers… It was easy to get, but I guess you could still say it was a little vague, if you want. I would say I could see the ending, except that by the time I read the beginning it was already just about over. The short pastas are great, though usually I’m one for the longer stories.
Personally, I prefer stories that put me in danger, or at least make it seem like something much worse than simple murder is happening.
wow, that’s pretty creepy actually D:
Ending was obvious, but it’s still a good piece. Kept lol’ing at only picking the white ones though, clearly we have an Aryan madman!
This is probably the best story ever because it uses something of delicacy, something of small size to symbolize a larger, more morbid thing.
perfection
Y’all are stupid… lol of course its about people… its prisoners, that the narrerator keeps confined in 12′s to hear them scream, and bleed. Wilted=Died… Now to replace it
Pretty good.
@Maran Doll-Dead, I think, not decomposed.
Bah, reminds me of the song “Fear Garden.” You know, that creepy, high pitched Japanese song were the singer is some psychotic little kid who kills people, cuts off their hands and treats the hands as if the were a garden of flowers? *shudder*
Anyway, there should have been just a pinch more of information leading to think that the ‘lilies’ were humans, but I really liked this~
I reckon that was great, ignore those who say its too vague, i reckon that worked perfectly.
Although its not too creepy, its got the”oh shit” factor, and unlike many of the recent pastas, not too long…Loved it
I like it a lot, but a lot of people probably won’t get it. If there were a few more hints the the lilies were humans, it would be easier to understand.
ummm…is the woman like, menstruating?!
Ooooh, nice one! I really didn’t expect that ending,quite shocking! More delicious pasta like this!
Glad I’m more of a dandelion.
Ooh. Yummy. C:
I have a friend named Lily…
I’ll give her the link.
I got it, it wasn’t that bad, the concept was nice, but it could have been executed a bit better. There wasn’t a real sense of danger or a real disturbing kicker that really sets off a good creepypasta.
Ok, I am done playing the critic.
@Cthulhu: You might need to rethink your definition of disturbing.
Oh, I just noticed this:
“I will only take the most supremely beautiful specimens. They must be white as an angel’s wings,”
Am I the only one who’s thinking ‘racism’?
This was epic. Totally awesome!
THEN WHO WAS FLORIST?
Psycho Collector is psycho.
Saw it coming, but it was still nice.
Hello.
This tale is among the most finely crafted.
I am inspired.
PRINNY SQUAD RULES
Well, I’ll leave the same kind of comment the author comments on other pastas.
“Shitty pasta is seriously shitty. Poorly written, bad ending, and an all around bad idea. I want my time back. Now.”
Your detail is good, but everything else is just pretty shitty.
@Anon: Thanks for making my day. Seriously. I love it when people can’t handle criticism. If you’re going to be a writer (And I use that term loosely) either grow some thicker skin or an herocide. You’re choice. :3
No, srsly, I can not fully express how happy your post made me. I just can’t.
It was ok. Good concept, kind of poor in some areas but overall decent.
eh…..kinda so-so ish.
It was pasta but there was no delicious sauce ):
where’s the flavor?
Ooh, very good. I don’t think the whole white part is racist, because the guy IS a madman, so I mean, it kinda adds to the affect. Does that make sense?
anyone who thinks this story or others like it needs more detail or to be less vague isn’t a cognitive thinker.
This was super good, I love the way it was written and the feel it has to it. I wonder though, as someone else said:
wilted = decomposed?
or wilted = dead?
I mean, you could look at it like he keeps them alive and kind of tortures them (makes them bleed), their voices being days of begging for him to stop and let them go, and then ‘wilted’ would mean one of them finally died, or you could look at it as he kills them right away (makes them bleed), their voices being their cries of pain, and then ‘wilted’ would mean decomposed.
I like to think of it as the first option, but I could be wrong.
@Someone: Racism? Really? That doesn’t even make sense. Lilies are white. I mean sure there are other colors (stargazer lily, etc.) but the only color of people you could apply to a lily is pale white. The story would make no sense otherwise.
Glad I made your day =] Also, I didn’t even write the story that you commented on.
It’s “Your choice” By the way. If you’re going to be a writer (And I use that term loosely) you might want to learn at least some basic grammar skills.
=]
The “her” is what did it in and made it creepy.
*Just finished reading*
…
…
…
*5 seconds later*
OHSHIT THEY’RE NOT FLOWERS
Bravo.
@Mreee: Yeah, I know, I just noticed it and wondered if it was on purpose. But you’re right; most lilies are white and there’s probably no racism here.
I didn’t get it at first but it’s starting to sink in, and the more it sinks in the creepier it gets. Well done!
“It’s “Your choice” By the way.”
Anon, babe, if you’re going to grudge wank all over grammar, use a lowercase “b” in “by,” please.
I actually really like this one, otherwise I wouldn’t be bitching at the wanker. I like how you were more subtle than usual and I’m shocked that so few people went ‘hurf durf’ when you didn’t apply the point with a sledgehammer.
Going at this one a second time I really really enjoyed it. I guess I am just a bitter creature most of the time lol
That was sweet…I really liked it.
Also, I’m pretty sure the whole “white” thing means they have to be innocent or virginal. Serial killers tend to be into that.
Saw it coming but I like it anyway.
And I have a character named Lilly. 0_o Poor little vampire bunny. T_T
He only chooses white lilies?
Racist bastard.
I love it, beautifully written.
I actually know a Lilly i wish would…. wilt.
Saw it coming. An okay creepypasta, but not really scary, just mildly disturbing. Needs more gore! 8D
My diagnosis is that Poizn is clinically insane. She obviously needs to spend a while in a psychiatric unit, receiving extensive electro-shock therapy after writing something like this.
this was ok…It isnt the best but then again it isnt the worse
this is a boring diary
he’s not talking about flowers!
he’s talking about people!
i really like this allot i got i right away it kinda like how some talk about God’s children how he makes them
but i see how some o you got lost but mistakes will be made keep up the good work
Great. Very well written. Anyone who says its not specific enough probably still think Animal Farm is just about a farm, or that Space Oddity is about going to the moon.
MPD Psycho volume one, anyone?
Referring to the “racism” in this ‘pasta, serial killers are usually pretty specific about their victims, often choosing people based on things like hair color or build. Really pale people could just be his…thing
Good pasta, I like.
who was lillie
This was okay, but I felt it was lacking that one hook that really draws you in and creeps you out. It seems to me like there are two ways to do this; putting the reader directly into the story somehow, or seriously fleshing out the details of what’s going on, putting the reader there through vivid description. What I’m trying to say is describe the person’s madness a bit more, to give the setting some time to sink into the reader’s mind.
lol kill them white bitches :]
my cars name is lilly… she stopped run’n a week ago…
Nice and creepy.
This was very well done. Didn’t give me shivers, but perhaps that’s because this is so beautiful I couldn’t be terrified. “What? Oh, you want to kill womin and collect them, you sick misogynistic fuck? Yeah, sure, whatever. You write pretty.”
The first half was so finely tuned, I actually smelled lillies (the flower, not the…. dead people).
Wait, is he talking about lillies or..
oohhhh.
eeeewww.
i like the insane amount of detail to how insane you actually are. holding the women hostage. and watching them bleed. hearing their screams. they need you to stay alive. i like. i like it a lot. (: doubt i’ma have nightmares about it though. thanks anyway. one of the best pastas yet.
“Gee, I wonder if he’s talking about whole people or just individual body parts?” was my question right from the very first sentence. The whole “OMG ITS ABOUT PEOPLE” “twist” is officially exhausted.
lily period fail
Really good but the poster is annoying for commenting on the comments.
i don’t understandddddd
“i don’t understandddddd”
Lillies = girls. Wilted = dead
ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU SPEAK IT
Am I the only one who didn’t think this was creepy in the slightest?
I thought it was a good story of a madman, who maybe killed his wife or something because he had a strange obsession for lilies.\\
Decent pasta is decent.
Ehh.
I liked it better when the crazy people talked in a more insane way. Like the Mother guy from Oblivion, his diary was fun to read.
so the Lilly keeper was obviously very racist.
or just couldn’t get enough white girl
Mr. Welldone’s getting ideas.
Fear the Darkness
-Nex
Reading it, i was thinking it could also be about women that he dates.
It could be seen as not creepy, just pessimistic romanticism
high above thy brownie mountain, chocolate be thy feet
(Please tell me so if I was NOT the only one, as I was too lazy to read all the comments)
But did any body else get the feeling he was talking about sexual abuse, perhaps with the lilies being virgins?
“as it is I who takes them first, it is I who shall enjoy them”
The talk of blood and deriving “satisfaction indescribable to one who has not experienced it themselves” ?
Maybe it was just me or maybe I’m stating the obvious, but I got a distinct sexual violence feel from it.
Either way, it was most deffenitly BEAUTIFULLY written. Absolutely eloquent. The kind of story where I don’t shiver and cringe, but have an aching pang of guilt in my stomach that makes me sick with myself when I find that I am smiling.
Definitely needs to be read twice to be enjoyed properly. I totally didn’t get the second (or probably primary, really) meaning until the second time around.
Guessed the ending from the first line, but a good pasta nonetheless.
Ehh not that creepy it could have been scarier or at least send chills down my spine but no…
Lil shop of horrors much?
Lame pasta is lame.
dumb, 0/10