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The Homeless Man



Estimated reading time — < 1 minute

Somewhere in New York City there is an old homeless man missing both his legs from the knees down, whose spot along the streets is the corner of Lexington and East 21st, near Granmercy Park. Approach him after nightfall, give him some change (NO pennies, NO dimes) and ask him, “What did you see on the other side?” He will then tell you all about his travels to other realms and times, where he lost his legs, how he lost his money.

It is up to you whether to believe him or not, but as you listen you’ll find yourself being drawn in with every story. You must stay alert, or the old man will notice your inattentiveness, and with a scowl he will stop imparting his wisdom; he will chase you as fast as he can, tottering on his stubs. The other reason why you must stay alert is to check the time. Before midnight you must interrupt him (do NOT let him finish whatever story he’s telling you at the moment) and say “I’ve heard enough, old man. Good day and good luck”, then walk away.

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Make at least two left-hand turns around the block before going about your business. You must do this, because anyone who has stayed to listen past midnight is never seen again, at least not in this particular plane of existence.

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65 thoughts on “The Homeless Man”

  1. Dude. I lived in New York City up until two months ago, on 20th St and 1st Ave, and I worked on 21st St and 6th Ave. I walked past 21st and Lex everyday. I’ve never seen a legless homeless man, but that area is super fricking creepy at night.

  2. The man in this story Is a real person. I live in new York and I’ve seen him a couple of times, but I don’t know if the story is true

  3. Thats alot of stories he’d have to tell…kinda makes you wonder where he got them all from.Maybe he takes memory from his victims and makes their story heard? That’d explain why he chases you if you dont listen… keep up the justice Mr.Hobo!

  4. “Somewhere in New York… whose spot along the streets is the corner of Lexington and East 21st, near Granmercy Park”
    I kinda lol’d, but I’ll never trust an old, legless man again.
    Also, why not any pennies or dimes?

  5. Aside from being chased by a Legless hobo, I would want to find out what is in the other dimensions @_____@ like, who the hell wants to stay on boring earth? D<

  6. Oh my god, i have mental images of an old man with a worn-out fishing hat and a long white beard chasing.. Forget that, HOPPING on stump legs. And i am lolling like a bitch.

  7. The deformed are, for some reason, scarier than most monsters. The human psyche is a strange animal, is it not?

    Fear the Darkness

    -Nex

  8. i live in nyc and i saw such a man, didn’t ask him though.. oh and he was on the subway begging for money, but it was daytime, kinda creepy, looked creepy

  9. I am 55 years old, I live in New York and have a wife and two kids. There is no such man as described above. A man with no legs would not be able to catch up to me in the first place, he is no threat. And whatever story he tells me, must be finished. It is rude to interrupt someone as they are speaking and leave them, maybe he just wants someone to talk with. Learn to respect your elders.

  10. Hm, so, if you go with him to another Universe, who is to say that it wouldn’t be better than this one? You’re taking a fifty fifty chance, definitely, but you might end up in paradise.

    Also, legless chase. I find that quite funny.

  11. Homeless old man

    I told you guys I have no idea what you’re talking about! And quit giving me pocket change, I can’t buy any crack with this shit.

    *muttermutter*

  12. Hm. Every time I taste a pasta such as this, I’m always tempted to see if it’s real. I am going to write down your recipe, chef, and tell you my results later. If there is no such legless man and no tales of fantastic nightmare by midnight I will be sorely displeased.

  13. or you could, you know, just not ask him anything.

    the point of the rituals is to do it get something, this one is just if you get yourself into this incredibly hard to get into by accident situation, here is what you do

  14. Lmao @Alex’s idea. I liked the story, I don’t think some people get that the scary thing is getting sent to another dimension rather than getting chased by a legless hobo.

  15. There were more spaces in that post when it was being made than when it was posted. Sorry it looks so non-sequitor now…

  16. That would be super awkward if your path was as follows:
    _________
    l l
    l l
    y x

    x being the place where you hear the story and y being where you end up after the two left hand turns because he would totally see you down the block and you would see him and he would wonder why you cut him off…

  17. wait, so let me get this right…i’ve not only go to get from tennessee, to new york, but find Lt. Dan and GIVE HIM FREE MONEY, only to hear some lies, and end up being chased around for four hours? sound’s like an excellent first night in New York. maybe i can get robbed and shot as well. who want’s to come with??

  18. “You must do this, because anyone who has stayed to listen past midnight is never seen again, at least not in this particular plane of existence.”

  19. I, however, understand the human fear of being in the presence of a malformed.
    While he chased you, you would feel the horror of wondering how many people he had to chase to get that fast, and how many he caught.

  20. I gotta agree with everyone else; the thought of a legless old man chasing me around New York City on his stumps ruined the “scary” for me.

    Interesting story, though.

    And I lol’d at The Joker’s comment.

    1. Same i was taking the story very seriously then that part came up and all i could imagine was eddy murphy from trading places and i couldent stop laughing :P

    2. DerpSphereGaming

      I imagine an old bearded guy in a jacket with a hat kinda like Bills from L4D, with a really southern accent screaming ‘I’MMA GONNA GET’CHA! IIIII’M GONNA GET’CHA!’ xD

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