Estimated reading time — < 1 minute
If you travel to the furthest glaciers in the south, it is said you can walk into the canyons of ice there. If you find the junction of two canyons that form a perfect square, you can lie down in the middle there and feel no cold. If you listen, the ice will speak and what it says will make poor men rich, and sane men mad.
CREDIT: Anonymous
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OK, done it. Now what?
It saddens me when I see a commet that’s 8 years old :( .
You would hear money? Money makes a poor man rich and money makes a sane man go insane! But wait… Ice doesn’t speak money…
I would love to be rich and sane
Also you spelled tevye wrong
Ah fiddler on the roof
That was me I made the reference
If I were a rich man, ya ha deedle deedle I would kill everyone
Acually, this story has some truth to it. You would be insane because you would be tr
ying to find a sqaure indentation in a fuking glacier and rich because you would be filmed the entire way by dumbstruck people wondering how someone could make Jaden Smith look like a genious.
I wouldn’t have thought of this myself. But seems risky. I’m poor and in need of money, but I’m also pretty sane so…. eh
Id probably become The guy who owned atlas in Advanced warfare and ust have my own military
What does it do to wealthy madmen?
Or you can just go to canada’s north and freeze there and go insane
Oh, but this was actually a fun concept. Why is it rated so low?
It also turns Cowboys into Horsegirls.
“If I was a rich girl, na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na naaa!” -Gwen Stefani
Who was jackass? Oh right, it’s you.
This story was absolute CRAP
That’s cool, money, but I don’t like being ANGRY though.
Tevye: If I were a rich man yidle deedle didle dum.
Also i thought for some reason it said crayons…. I feel real stupid now
BUT, WHO WAS VOICE?
This is like one of those meaningful old proverbs from wise old monks. Except not wise. And not meaningful. And shit.
That overall judgement might be a bit harsh, but you’re right: This story is slightly reminiscent of the traditional tale of the ring that had the power to make the sad man happy and the happy man sad. The power of that ring came from the words that were inscribed on it: این نیز بگذرد or גם זה יעבור, meaning “This too shall pass”.
The glacier of doom, death, destruction-
AND PHONE.
“If you find the junction of two canyons that form a perfect square, you can lie down in the middle there and feel no cold.”
“the junction of two canyons that form a perfect square,”
“two canyons that form a perfect square”
HOW?
THE JUNCTION IS THE SQUARE. Like, two canyons that intersect, and the place that they do cross is at a 90 degree angle, so that the space in between makes a square, like two roads at a four-way-intersection. Since they’re made of ice, it’s possible.
I just can’t really picture anyone calling that a square. If you have two perfectly straight lines perpendicular to one another, then yes, you can draw artificial lines across all of the entrances to the intersection and form a square. Still, “this looks like a square” isn’t really the first thing that comes to my mind when I see that.
bleh i dont need ice to make me go mad im already mad
madly in looove ;3
I guess I should get CandleJack up in he
Lol if you went that would make you stupid not insane and how can magic talking ice make you rich
You sell the story to Fox News. “Stupid man encounters talking ice” – that’s the stuff great television is made of.
I actually quite liked this. Very half baked, though, so I can understand the low rating but the concept was kind of nice…i kind of want a rewrite. I appreciate the short subtlety but another, better written paragraph would serve well in elaboration and development.
I want to talk to ice.
Unlike most of the older ritual pastas, this story *does* at least have a potential payoff (ie., cash, lots of cash). At the same time, unlike most of the older ritual pastas, this story has absolutely nothing genuinely creepy. It’s also exceptionally short.
I am your Glacier.
It’s fair enought.
BUT WHO WAS GLACIER!?!!?!?!
You know, there is a certain Timelord that needs to go there to get drums out of their head… THE MASTER!!!!!!!!
I have heard the ice speak; I know the truth. A group of us went, thought we could handle it. The three words it said made all the difference in the world…
We each went in, one by one. As time went by, the others were getting more and more freaked out. Then it came to my turn.
As I stepped inside, I felt a bolt of white hot pain across my forehead, as fast as a bullet and twice as painful. As I lay there, I heard nothing.
“Huh,” I thought, “Just a prank.”
And then I heard it, shrill and piercing, cry out to me, tearing strips from my very soul.
It was quiet at first, almost like the wind, but grew quickly, surrounding me, trapping me in. It said three words, each filled with malice and hate, and told me it’s darkest secret…
“I was phone.”
lol a lot better than the pasta.
Never before have I heard something more beautiful than that.
Are you the same person who posted hotel California? 9/10 btw. I like your writing
Into the mountains of madness..
So I will be poor and sane?
“Stocks in Dynergy Inc. are about to shoot up from 0.83c.
Also D’hul fa ka lutta vy nectk gohg a gohg!!!!!”
South of where? This type of detail-less pasta is, in my opinion, a waste of time.
Hmm… So, I just need to forget to take my meds that day and I’ll be set for life? :D
Tested it with someone. They turned into a fire-breathing two-headed yak, which promptly tried to kill me. I had enjoyable sandwiches that week, incidently.
So… I’d get piles of money AND have unstoppable insanityness? im in 0-0
And apparently, when you attend this monument to mentally monumental mentality munting… see what i did there 0.o
As I was saying, if you were to go to this place, apparently you’ll also be able to say words proper good too!
“omg im a gurl gimme attenton” …please shut it.
There are updates found for your sense of humour.
wait, am i bein trolled or is creepypasta literally incapable of reading between the lines
what about women??!
I am both insane and poor. I should try it sometime.
WHO WAS GLACIER?
If you stayed there long enough, would you go mad and then become sane again?
lol @ 5 and 6
this was cool i might try it some day
Lol, @5, and fixing OCD with talking ice…..*Grabs an icecube out of the fridge* It’s better than nothing.
ima woman…. HAHA! does that mean i wont go mad? YAY!!-vilont twitch-
Please.. Never breed. Ever.
yeh, Kapangdazz, what if you are an insane wealthy man? or one or the other? seems it’d be best to go there insane and poor, though. also, what about borderline cases? middle class, or really heavily OCD or something?
What would happen if you convince a mad man to accompany you and make him lay on the ice?
What if you are mad enough to go there in the first place???
aren’t you already mad if you hear ice speaking to you?
True that
Not if you hear it often… ;)
That confirms it, actually.
You aren’t mad your freezing your butt off…
I could only guess what kind of horrific acts of sheer terror I could perform if I was a wealthy madman.
I think I’d rather get rich the old fashioned way, get a doctoral degree in some scientific discipline, get a generally high-paying job at some research-and-development facility (government funded or otherwise), make a scientific discovery (important or otherwise), get a patent, sell the patent for billions of dollars to either the government or a cosmetics company, and live off the patent for the rest of my life.
On the other hand, if I became a wealthy madman, I’d be both rich and morally inhibited. Virtually nothing could stop me, although I’d try to keep from being close-minded and cocky.
If I were a rich man! (licks bloodstained knife)
Why the blood stained knife? I though you were making a Fiddler on the Roof reference for a moment…. xD
THEN WHO WAS COLD?