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The Father



Estimated reading time — 10 minutes

Patient 1970
Log 4
Dr. Evans
11:23 am Wednesday

Patient shows further signs of deterioration. MRI scans show that brain matter shows no signs of damage, however, the actual electrical currents are continually changing and decreasing. I have been caring for this 30 year old man for about a month now, yet it seems like years. He came in with very little wrong. He just constantly talked about his father. His wife was scared about him becoming violent or losing his mind at the death of his father two years prior but while in our care he has shown no signs of violence.

What he has shown is immaturity. To a level expected of a teenager. He constantly hits on nurses or assisstants half his age as if he were trying to pick up an older woman. This is a considerable change from when he was enrolled here. He was, at that time, simply worried that his father wouldn’t forgive him. Considerable sentiment given it is well documented that he and his father had a tenuous relationship. The worry really came from the fact that whenever you tried to talk with him about his father, or ask him about what he was saying about him, he would look at you dazed.

At this time I feel it may be a related dementia to his father, as his father died in a tragic accident after losing his mind, suffering from both Alzhimers and Paranoia. The stressed relationship between father and son lead to the son burning all of his fathers photos shortly before his death, and a proclaimed irrational fear of digital photography leaves me guessing at the mans identity.

The Patient has not recognized his wife in over a week, asking her who she is and telling her to “buzz off” as she was impeding his “hunt for tang.” He has also not recognized that she has stopped visiting. It seems the deterioration is progressing in new ways. For now we can only continue to test him and hope his uncle can straighten him out.

** * **

Patient 2354
Log 1
Dr. Evans
10:27pm Saturday

I hate late night patients. I also hate when a person enrolls themself due to self paranoia. But policy states that we must accept any patient till we run out of room.

Personal notes asside, a young woman came into the ward about 4 hours ago. She claimed she had been enjoying the eavning air near a local park. She had just finished baby-sitting for a friend and was enjoying the sound of late night childs play. She had been desiring a kid for a while now, but has been single for the past two years. As she sat, she noticed a person in light jacket and jeans. Considering the fall weather we’ve been having this is reasonable. She changes her position to sit next to this person and attempts to start a conversation. The person she now identified as a man simply nodded his head at her attempts at conversation but made no attempts to reply. When some young children came up to them, the patient insists there was no calling of them over for some reason, the man looked around then pulled something out of his pocket.

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— — —

Apologies for the break. The patient was demanding she be allowed to see her father and causing a ruckus. Anyways, what the man pulled out appeared to be a small bag of candy. The patient was able to identify black licorice from the scent. When the chilren’s parents appeared to take their children home the man offered some candy to the parents. At this point the patient assumed the man was a mute as he still never said a word. The parents were rightfully wary of a strange mute man offering candy for children. As if to deny their suspicions he offered the patient a piece of candy. Loving black licorice she accepted without question, chewing and swallowing the small piece of gummy candy in seconds. This seemed to appease the two parents and they allowed their children to each have a single piece of candy before leaving.

The patients fear comes from what happened next. Not a minute after the parents and children were out of sight, leaving the park empty outside of the patient and the man, the man turned to her and  pressed his forehead to hers. She was so off put she jumped away, much to the dismay of the man. Then she said she lost control of herself, and bowed in applogy even though all of her kept stating to run away from him. The man simply stood and returned the bow then walked off smiling.

The patient chose to enroll herself in our facilities out of fear she is losing her good sense under the premises of accepting the piece of candy and apologizing for an unwanted and forward action. I don’t see this patient staying more than a couple of days max to get required testing out of the way. It’s late, I’m going to bed.

** * **

Patient 2354
Log 2
Dr. Evans
12:00 pm Thursday

No new patients has left me with time to annalyze those already under my care. I’ve decided to do these reports at a more reasonable time since I almost fell asleep at my desk writing the last one for patient 980. Now I have a cup of coffee and a decent meal in my stomach.

This patient…worries me. To say the least. MRI scans show that her mental faculties are beginning to shut down at an alarming rate. It has been almost a week and yet she has already deteriorated to the same level as patient 1970 who at the time of this writing is next on my to-do list. Both of them now act as if they were five year olds. However patient 2354 seems to be deteriorating at a faster pace than her predecessor. Whatever the cause of this anomally is, both patients are now obsessing over their fathers, throwing tantrums and crying when they don’t get their way.

The only refuge nurses have from these problems is two people. One for each patient. For this patient it is a young man with constantly short, disheveled, brown hair. He always wears a thin white wind-breaker and some jeans. In fact he closely resembles the description of the man the Patient described as giving her the candy. I pass this off as coincidence since she seemed horrified that that man would even touch her.

With this visitor the Patient is far calmer than when they are not. She also seems to be clinging to the man quite a lot. His ID states that he is her brother and he’s been writing his notes as he has a throat infection from his singing career, a story I looked into. It checks out. What worries me about this arrangement is that she does not identify this man as her brother but as her father. This doesn’t seem to bother him at all but I find it odd that she only does this to this man. I’ve also noticed that 1970 also seems to calm down some around this man, though not nearly as much as he does to his “Patron Father,” who is an older man claiming to be his uncle, using sign language after losing his vocal cord functionality after a bout with thyroid cancer. Again, I checked the story and with the ID given, it checks out.

Patients are about to be let outside for a break so I think I’ll end this here.

** * **

Personal note
Dr. Evans
9:00 pm Saturday

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This is a note more to myself than anyone. I’ve begun noticing some odd things with my patients. With no new ones to speak of, I’ve had plenty of time to look over 2354 and 1970’s cases. I’ve noticed a few conjoining factors.

First and foremost there are the obvious factors of their obsession with their fathers, their “Patron Fathers,” as well as the deterioration process of their minds.

But what I hadn’t put together till just over an hour ago at dinner, was that they both had similar experiences before showing these symptoms. 2354 had her man at the park, and 1970 and his wife bumped into an older man feeding pidgeons and snacking on candy by the central fountain, just next to the police station. The wife didn’t take any when the man offered due to her dislike of licorice, but her husband had.

I will admit here and now, I’m starting to get an eerie feeling about these patients, because the best is yet to come. Both patients described the person who had given them licorice before in good detail. Their “Patron Fathers” also closely resemble the respective descriptions.

I’m beginning to wonder if the people visiting my patients are in fact the cause of this issue. If so, how? To cause such a precise mental deterioration is beyond modern science, and doubtfuly future science could attempt such a feat.

Also it was brought to my attention a small detail of our visitor process is that we clear the pockets of anyone visiting a patient. This is to prevent bringing harm to the patient or helping them harm themselves. The guard in charge of security for the last few days had gone over my recent patient logs and felt it relevant to tell me that both of their “Patron Fathers” had small bags of licorice. Each bag uniqe in shape and quantity held but both were black licorice. He has been informed to confront the guests about these items and report directly to me his findings.

In my fifty years of living, I have never been more worried for the well being of humanity than I am at this moment, for in these moments I question my own sanity, and the sanity of a world where being kind…could well be deadly.

** * **

Patient 1970
Log 6
Dr. Evans
12:00 pm Monday

Patient 2354 is dead. She died over the weekend. Her brain simply stopped functioning. The nurses told me she was hard at play with a large plastic car then she suddenly collapsed. Autopsy reports showed no signs of internal hemmoraging or internal damage. Her brain just simply…stopped.

To make matters worse Patient 1970 is now in a coma. It seems that his 10 year age difference over his predecessor granted a slower hell than she was. My best assessment of this would be that the candy takes longer to take you down the longer you’ve been alive. I’d like to run tests on the candy to prove my theory but the guard who was under my employ has wound up missing. Police have searched everywhere but can’t find him. An investigation of his house found that his home was torn apart as if a large dog had mauled everything. There was traces of the guards blood, so they fear the worst. Seeing as my only patient is now incapacitated, it seems my logs will be much shorter.
** * **

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Patient 0
Log 1
Dr. Evans
4:00 pm Friday

Patient 0, named so as this one I caught early. Since I have had no patients under my care for the last two days I had been looking for another case like this. One with the candy, the father obsession, and hopefully another “Patron” with some form of throat issue.

I recieved a letter in my drop box yesterday. It was covered in blood, and taped closed. There was no envelope, just two pieces of paper folded together and sealed to hold it closed. My guard came through in the end. Kind of. The letter read as follows:

“Dear Dr. Evans,

Under no circumstance should you trust The Father. Not only is he not human, he is not kind. I asked about the candy the next time he visited, shortly before one of the children passed into his everlasting care. His visage denied the existance of The Gate, those dumb little candies. So before I gave him his things I took one of them to attempt to give to you. I think he knew when I did it but couldn’t do anything, lest he give himself away.

No. Not again. I can hear the crying of his children. Sounds of laughter turn to screams once you pass The Gate. There’s no way back once you cross. It’s to late for me, but you can save others now. The candy IS THE CAUSE. Never eat it. You will see him for the demon he truely is and you will hear his true voice. I’m going to deliver this to you before he can claim me. I’ve already slipped a few times after he forced me to eat so many of them, his punishment for stealing a Gate. I’m going quickly but if he claims me I won’t be able to rest peacefully.

Goodbye Doctor. I wish you luck.”

The next morning the guard was on the news. Dead. He had been on top of a local hotel, he had broken onto the roof and apparantly attempted to jump. The report said no known cause could be determined. But I know. I know The Father got him first. Poor bastard. I will make sure I can put what he taught me to use.

Patient 0 is a charitable girl. She’s well known at local soup kitchens and charity races. So it’s no surprise that if someone offered her a piece of candy she would be willing to take it, even if only to help the other person feel good. She’s only 15 so I can’t tell how long she will last before she dies, but I fear it isn’t long. I hope she lasts long enough to get a visit. I haven’t even bothered to question her because quite frankly she’s a dead girl.

Oh dear, it seems The Father has put me a little on edge. My humanity is failing, and I don’t care. My goal is to get rid of The Father. No more, no less. My goal is to help those who can be helped. When he comes, I’ll be ready.

** * **

Police Report
Suicide
Officer Mack

Seems the victim has been suffering these last few weeks. He’s been suffering from paranoia and was beginning to show signs of dementia. All the same, the poor old man took the leap. It wasn’t to far of a fall given perspective, only three stories. He could have gone higher than jumping from his office window. But it did the trick. We investigated his office to see if we could find a cause. We   found it all right. Right in the center of his desk actually, nice and neat in a tidy little envelope. Inside were two things. A letter, and a drawing. The letter read as follows:

“Father has allowed me two things.

The first is the right to write this letter. The second is a choice, live with him in happiness with my brothers and sisters. Or die alone. The purpose of this letter is the same as any suicide note. To explain the why. In my folders are files on three patients (1970, 2354, and 0) all of whom their stories will explain my death.

I was not ready. The Father did appear, but in the form of the guard whom had died to give me the info I needed. I had not been expecting anything so straight forward. Few people had watched the news that morning, with little or no time to do so, no one questioned his existance here. Except me. When he showed up to visit his “niece” I pulled him into my office. He was not pleased at this and screamed at me. The horror was that any sound that came from his mouth was simply a cacophany of childrens laughter. I quickly apologized and my politeness seemed to calm him down. I offered  him a seat and I sat in my chair. I stared him in the eyes for what seemed like days, but were simply five ticks of my old grand father clock. I questioned in my mind how many people he had lead astray. After our moment of silence I told him I knew what he was and what he had done. He simply nodded and pulled a small bag out of his pocket. He offered me a piece of his licorice with a toothy smile on his face, the face of my friend. He was the beast that destoyed his current bodies home, so in the enclosed space of my office, I didn’t stand a chance to run. I made demands first. The rights I stated at the beginning. He simply nodded and held the piece of licorice closer to me. I nodded and grabbed it. I hesitated at first before popping the candy in my mouth. It tasted no different than regular candy.

But it’s effect was revolutionary. I saw Father for what he truely is. A beautiful creature, a creature far superior to humans. He is the one who has come to take what makes us destroy away from us.

But he won’t get me. My humanity is mine and mine alone. So after this is sealed I going to jump out the window Father has opened behind me, preparing for my choice. The image I’ve tucked in with this is what was given to me by the guard. It is truely beautiful to see Father for what he is. I have crossed the gate and must say farewell, I hope you never have to.”

Credit To: Corian Wornen

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30 thoughts on “The Father”

  1. Deadlynightshade

    The story itself was great but you should have another person proof read your story next time. There were MANY misspelled words.

  2. Daddy Toughlove

    Its a shame you rushed it. This story had potential with some polishing. I dont really get how the Father is supposed to save people, though. It seems that the candy reverses mental progression to the point the paitent reaches their “mental birth age”, crosses a threshold and dies. How does dying save people?

  3. All the unrevealed things are what make the story that much better. It adds a sense of mystery to it that leaves the eery unanswered kind of paranoia

  4. Hello, author here. First and foremost, thank you for reading my first ever creepy pasta submission. Second, I do apologize for the errors, this is the first time I’d worked on a story that I actually reached an end to. However, my own proofread was late at night so I missed my own mistakes, and I should have been more diligent. My usual proofreaders were unavailable for the job for a decent amount of time and I got impatient, also my fault. As for the image of the father…that is again, the fault of my impatience. I had an image in mind but had an exam the next day and had forgotten to do it.

    I do thank you for the critiques, and I do plan to do better in the future. However, the only thing I failed to explain was the term “The Gate.” It was simply a term I wanted to use as the candy being a “Gateway” into their doom.

    One person asked why the third patient was patient zero. Dr.Evans explained that briefly, he labeled her that. He was throwing standard numbering conventions to the wind as he was already falling apart.

    As for why The Father is creepy…he’s creepy to me. Specifically the fact that he drains people of their mental faculties and eventually their life, even though he claims to be trying to “help.”

    Thank you all for reading The Father, and I hope that if I submit again you’ll enjoy it better than this.

  5. How do people find this confusing? “The Father” is some supernatural being that returns people to an innocent, childlike state (our maturity is “what makes us destroy”). “The gate” presumably leads to some other dimension, a heaven or hell. That’s all you need to understand for it to be at once creepy and understandable.
    I actually loved this story.
    It’s like a retelling of the pied piper.
    Yes, it could have used some proof-reading (except in the parts where the mental state of the narrator is deteriorating, then it works), but I thought the logbook style well-executed, and the concept wonderfully created. To have “the Father’s” voice be nothing but children’s laughter – that made me physically shiver.
    One thing I don’t get – why the girl was patient 0. Other than that, a 9/10 story (or it would be, but for some reason I can’t vote either.)

  6. Moony Wormtail Padfoot and Prongs

    I would like to see the image! This story is alright wish you would have elaborated just tiny bit more

  7. So many typos throughout the story and misspelled words. I find it stupid and unreasonable that many pastas end up on the crappypasta site for less spelling errors than this story.

  8. A psychiatrist should not misspell Alzheimer’s. Just saying. The plot had potential, but the syntax was very confusing.

  9. Hey,
    This was some good pasta actually.
    Apart from it needing maybe more detail on the gate, and what’s in the licourice.
    Otherwise, good for second helpings.

  10. idk what you are all smoking this was fab

    i would 9 star it but for some reason i can’t see the voting system it just tells me what the current score is??

  11. Didn’t really understand the plot… I guess it’s about candy that takes away our humanity? You have a good idea, but next firm try to make it slightly shorter, or get to the point faster. I felt like I was becoming bored in the beginning, because it was slow paced. All in all, I give it a 4/10. Wouldn’t go for seconds when it comes to this pasta.

  12. Personally I thought it was great. A little more detail on the Father and his appearance would have helped out though.

  13. I found the awkward language really hard going and, since the plot wasn’t going anywhere fast, I gave up on this pasta pretty early. The language employed by the doctor was not convincing at all.

  14. It kind of killed the creep factor that the Father was really trying to help mankind by removing our humanity so we could no longer destroy us. And also, just don’t eat the candy. Problem solved.

  15. Where is the “image I’ve tucked in”? That seems like something that should be included.
    And licorice is not scary; just don’t eat it.
    Otherwise it was good though, I liked the patient entry format.

  16. Story was plagued with awkward, clumsy writing which made it difficult to read. Decent plot, but needs some serious revising before it can be considered good. As is, 4/10.

  17. Very nice pasta, but couldn’t fill its own shoes… What is the gate? Who is the Father? Wish you could’ve elaborated a little more…

    7/10

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