The Deepest Fear
You’ve been dating your girlfriend almost two years now. You often stay late over the summer and on weekends and arrive home long after the rest of your family go to sleep.
Every night you drive the deserted rural roads back home from a pleasant evening at her house you become overwhelmed by fears that you will arrive home to find your family dead in their beds. Each night you peek into your sister’s room and see she’s fine and hear the reassuring rumble of your father’s snore as you pass your parents door.
You chuckle at your silly worries and drift off to sleep. Finally one morning you decide to tell your mother about your late night fears amidst some jovial conversation for a nice laugh. As you tell her a concerned look comes over her face. She sweeps the hair away from her face as she says, “Oh honey, you know we were all shot almost two years ago.”
You scream as you see the gaping bullet hole in her forehead.
What’s with these things being written in second-person? Someone tries to tell me a story starting with “You do x.” My natural gut reaction is “Fuck you… no I don’t.” and thus the suspension of disbelief ends there.
Fun creepypasta, but I agree with Dreamer.
It presents a situation where I would act entirely different than what the story is telling me I’m doing.
Most of all; I don’t think stories like these should tell me what my fears are or how I react to a paranormal situation. I think those details should be my own.
I’m with dreamer, UNLESS it’s about something you SHOULD or WILL do, not something you did.
@dreamer
True. I don’t like stories like these.
“You do (something)”, lines like these removes my interest on reading the rest of the story cause I keep thinking “no i did not!?”
And then you fuck it..?
THEN WHO WAS GUN?
@diana
D: You sick fuck.
@Uncle Anon
I WAS GUN.
When ever i read stories like this i just think “Oh i must have and just forgot”
“You Raped Her!”
Nuh us shut up cleverly writen out words above this sentance…You’ll never know what i actually did. -.-
I can see why people write it this way…It’s in the hopes of making a connection with the reader and thus making it creepier. It works sometimes if you do it right, but usually? No. An example of a well-done one was the one about the little girl and her bad dream…you know, where the thing is wearing mommy’s skin…
@9 Yea, that story freaked me the hell out, but for other reasons.
*Wanted to reword this into a pasta but oh well.*
I was about 10 years old. My imagination was extremely wild, to the point I would hallucinate the point it felt real. One, night I try to sleep, then my bed starts to rock, side to side. I try to make it stop, I tell myself it’s not happening.
Evntually i can’t stand it and ask my dad to sleep with him. HI jump into bed and the rocking begins again. My dad said it was my guardian angel,. Although still freaked the hell out I fell asleep.
Sorry for the poor grammar. It’s late.
You’ve been dating your girlfriend almost two years now.
come on man, if you don’t keep it a little believable it is no fun.
gasp! i think they’re talking bout me!
gasp! i think they’re talking bout me :O
While I do agree with Dreamer some people might look at stories as a way to live them, so instead of just reading a story for entertainment, some might actually want to know how creepy a creepypasta is, thus putting themselves in the shoes of the main character.
it’s a bit sad
but i’m wondering is his family just killed…or did he have something to do with their death?
if he didn’t kill them [i don’t think he did] then perhaps it’s madness that came from guilt of not being home, that could be why the writer mentioned the girlfriend…the character probably was at his girlfriend’s house when they were killed and was so guilty by not being with his family it turned him mad.
i think if they were dead for two years and his mom head a hole were a bullet shot her he would have definatly noticed
LOL @ 12
I didn’t like this one.. It basically killed the creepiness right away when he says he’s scared he’ll come back one day to everyone being dead.. &I also agree with dreamer. Most people wouldn’t react this way in these situations &stories aren’t set to a certain sex, I’m a girl and when I read stories where the main character is clearly a guy yet talks in the second person it ruins the story.
im sorry but this is a Rubbish pasta.
the plot is so obvious and if my mum sed that 2 me i’d b like
COOL!!!!! WTS IT LIKE DUDE???
shut the fuck up guys.
just read the story and quit YER BITCHING
EEEEEEEEEEE.
Hmm kind of a let-down at the end. Predictible yet … Not? I dunno.
lame
I have a girlfriend?
Man, my husband is gonna be pissed when he finds out.
Yeah this isn’t really that scary. I mean sure it’d be creepy for a while, but your family is obviously the same as they always were, just dead. :/
Doesn’t godamn work if the story tries to pretend it’s happened to you.
It’s more effective when you think it’s happened to someone else, then you FEAR it happening to you.
Shit sucks.
…And then a skeleton popped out!
Well, how should I put it? I did it for teh lulz!!!1
(btw: greets from Germany, I totally LOVE this website!!!!)
Anyone else read “gaping bullet hole” as “gaping butt hole”?
Sadly, this pasta would be better off with the latter. ;_; I felt like it was supposed to be more funny than creepy. It’s kind of like stubbing your toe and deciding to exert your anger on the dog, only coming to the realization that your dog has been dead and buried for 10 years and you totally forgot about it.
Would not eat again.
There are two ways that I can see to interpret this pasta:
The first way hinges upon what his mom says at the end: “You know WE were all shot…” We, including the narrator. In other words, the boy is trapped in his own repeating afterlife. The girlfriend he’s been dating for two years is a manifestation of said afterlife. He continually repeats the night he drove home, found his family dead, and was shot himself.
The second hinges upon what his mom says at the end, again, but a different part: “…shot almost two years ago.” Notice how he has also been dating his girlfriend for almost two years, and feels fear when he drives home. My second theory, the one I am leaning more towards, is that the boy drove home after visiting his girlfriend and found his entire family dead . Upon discovering their gruesome bodies he went insane and now repeats this every so often in his head. He’s still trapped in his fantasy but very much alive. I imagine he’s in a padded room somewhere, verbally acting out what is replaying in his head, and that perhaps what his mom just told him might be the thing he needs to snap out of his fantasy and start becoming mentally well again. This would have worked better, of course, had his reaction been left up to the reader.
Mediocre pasta. Should have been either much vaguer (ie omit last line) or much more specific.