It is estimated that at any given moment, somewhere between 5 and 10 percent of what is in your field of sight is shadow. Darkness. Isolation. The Unknown.
Imagine how it would be to live in these stagnated, dreary parts? In that crevice between the bookshelf and the wall, that gap between the wardrobe and the floor. To live surrounded by a crushing, overwhelming sense of darkness and nothingness. To know that that is your place, and always will be. To be left alone, unable to escape, no companionship but your blackest thoughts. Would the darkness consume you? Or would you search for a way out? To somehow live in the brightness?
No wonder, when I lie in bed awake at night, the house begins to creek and starts to come to life. No wonder, that in this dark time, I feel the presence of eyes, scouring over me. No wonder, we hear so many stories of those who die in their sleep. For in this time, the Unknown rules over all. And I don’t think the light of your monitor is enough to keep away the thing that just moved by your right foot.
Credit To – Rooster
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I love this! 10/10 for the story! 10/10 for this picture as well!
I liked the way this was executed, which is often a deciding factor whether or not I like a pasta. Personally, I don’t always have to get scared, I just have to get that “Oh, that’s a cool idea” feeling. Would nomnom again.
Joke’s on you I don’t have a right foot! Ha!
You could have done this better. Your writing shows that you have style and skill. But, I guess it’s good for a quickie.
Oh God, something DID just move by my right foot…oh wait….that was my left foot…wait….I’m an amputee, wait….I don’t have any feet…whose feet are those??? oh, my niece is laying next to me asleep. Wait…I don’t have a….this….isn’t going anywhere….
had I been reading this at night in the dark, I would have hesitated before looking at my right foot. But I still would have looked. Matter of fact… yeah alls clear.
The power of suggestion man…
I misss Mr. Welldone.
UM NOPE NOT OKAY AT FREAKING ALL.
This isn’t the ideea of the website this is a good writing on philosophical matter but not creepy ,for this website this writing is bad I give it a 3
The power cable. IT KILLS!
I have an tarantula. That’s why i didn’t feel anything while reading last words :D
I have an tarantula. That’s why i didn’t feel anything on any part of my body while reading the last words :D
Ha! Jokes on you. My feet are resting on the desk of my computer. c:
Overused concept, and not even particularly well done, since it jumps from talking about people lying in bed and dying in their sleep to what might be happening under my desk (BTW, nothing, really, my feet take up all the space there, if something tried to sneak there it would be crushed by pretty large shoes), which dampens the effect quite a bit.
I think is funny because I’m sitting in my computer chair with my feet tucked under me :)
lol, when i got done reading this, my cat walked across my right foot and scared the crap out of me xD
Nice touch at the end, totally gave me goose bumps, good job. Now that I think about it… I can sorta feel a presence… creepy
Now I keep feeling phantom brushes across my right foot. Thanks a lot. I think I hate you.
Seriously, though. I love stories that take mundane things and make them terrifying. This succeeds. I’m going to go turn on all the lights in the building now.
Fun thing. My right foot is under my leg while I’m sitting.
But I lost my right foot
I do, however, admire derpbutt’s dedication to his fanbase and the fact that he did post a throw-back pasta like this. But I do kind of agree with the others who’re saying there have been a lot like this lately.
Funnily enough, I’m on my iPad, and laying stomach-down in bed facing the TV. My right foot is resting firmly beside my drunk roommate’s head, which in turn is resting on top of a Powerpuff Girls pillow and underneath a thin blanket.
So unless he sprouts fangs in the night, I think I’m good.
I like the tone of this one. I wish it was longer even though it’s a MicroPasta…
Interesting to see that “But Who Was Phone” is one of the earliest copy/creepy pastas. It’s also interesting to note how much creepypastas have evolved, which makes this micropasta (‘The Dark’) – and its ilk – definitely fall into the realm of creepypasta status. Unfortunately – after a little research – I’ve found that Pokeman, My Little Pony, and all those video game pastas fall into the same realm. (And here I thought they were all just really bad jokes)
Hey Derp – I was wondering if some time in the future you were planning on having a discussion post along the lines of “What constitutes the writing/ingredients of a good/scary creepypasta”. At the very least it might inspire some fresh ideas or make submitters hesitate or even stop sending in a story that’s absolutely nonsensical and unworthy of seeing the light of day let alone the internet. It might also help alleviate your workload as well as your antacid consumption.
I was sitting crosslegged O.O
I may be wrong, but weren’t the original creepypastas based on urban legends? The kind you used to see on the cover of supermarket tabloids in the check-out aisles? Like Sasquatch is Willie Nelson’s love child, monkey invaders from Mars, or the 300 lb Borneo baby that farts fire from its surgically grafted diaper?
Some were, but not all. A number of the very old classics are archived on this site, you just have to go all the way back to 2008.
BLAST! I was like “Oh a micropasta. Nice.” Then I was like “… I’d like to always live in the dark. Actually I use shadows and darkness to help me sneak up on bad guys. So I can totally relate to this…” Then I read the last sentence and I was like “BLAST!” It was so good till the clichéd ending! Come on! Ugh… </3
Can I use this story for my YouTube video?
MEH
Nice pasta, but left me wanting more.
I understand that you used the micropasta format as a literary device, and it kind of added to the story, but it felt kind of rushed and it was over in, like, 40 seconds.
Regarding actual content, “The things hiding in the dark” isn’t the most original idea, but it was well executed and the last line was very emphatic.
Good read, the writing is very good, but potential was wasted by its short length, 6/10.
I do wish the writer didn’t stop there. In my opinion, lines with same adrenaline factor as the last sentence could be added to further the grip, and finish with one decisive punch with something that will leave the reader feeling vulnerable from every direction. It will then be very effective on readers reading this in THE DARK.
Honestly, I enjoyed the idea and the pasta up until the last sentence.
A bit creepy. :) Hahaha
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD THAT LAST PART MADE ME JUMP! *hides*
The thing that just moved by my foot is my dog, thank you very much.
These are becoming more and more common. Which isn’t good. The first few were kinda creepy playing on the fact that most are scared of the dark and are swayed easily by suggestion but, now there just boring. These just seem to be for a first time author to easily get a creepypasta on the site.
I do hope derp starts cracking down harder on these but, till then 3/10.
I disagree. If you’re not familiar with how the Creepypasta meme started (and given the age of many current readers here, they were probably just toddlers at that point so I can’t really blame them), I can see how you would lack the background to appreciate it as “classic style Creepypasta” but to me, that’s what it was.
While I don’t mind that so many of our stories are longer or even series, part of bringing in the Micropasta category was precisely because multiple people were expressing disappointment at the total absence of “old school” Creepypastas.
This one is very nostalgic in that sense. When I see something come through that reminds me so strongly of the original creepypastas that we all used to copy/paste at each other around the web, sometimes I can’t resist posting it.
I did expect that there would be some people who would have problems discerning fear of the unknown and a more specific fear of corners/darkness and complaining that they were too similar, so I suppose I’m not surprised by your comment. But in the end, I decided that I enjoyed it enough and that people who can’t deal with micropasta can skip posts tagged as such.
Sometimes I like to make the people who miss the old stuff happy, too.
When did yhese thing started
I first remember seeing “creepypasta” pop up on some of the forums/lj communties I frequented… around 2006/2007, I believe.
That doesn’t mean it didn’t begin earlier, but that’s when I remember first noticing it.
but WHO WAS PHONE?
You’re a good man Derp. You’re a good man.
I apoligise to both the author and derpbutt that comment.I was a little to harsh on it. I was half a sleep when I wrote it. I quit enjoy Mircopastas. The kind that stupiddialup has been doing. Even some of my favorites are mircopastas. I don’t get the nostalgia feel you get but, I still enjoy them.
Its just this type of mircopasta I don’t like. I should be really scared of these. I’m there target audience. A person who only reads creepypasta when its night, I have an over active imagination, I’m afraid of the dark, and I’m paranoid. In ever since I should be scared of these.
But, for some reason I’m not nor do I enjoy them.
Thank you.
May I give my two cents?
I understand where derpbutt is coming from, but I also think that tytiger10 has a point.
I actually like micropastas, and I still remember the first time I read one of the “you’re being watched” pastas: adrenaline, fear, sleeplessness…
But after reading many of these, they kind of lost their shock effect to me. It was creepy the first two, three times, but now they are just predictable.
I think it’s a bit like the “Slenderman” pastas: I was scared the first time I heard of Slendy, but now this character is totally overused.
I understand that derpbutt wants to publish some old school stories, but I also think that authors should try a little bit harder with these kind of pastas (and I’m referring to all the “there’s something in your room” pastas, not just to this one in particular).
((Sorry for any grammar mistakes, English isn’t my first language).