Today was the day he was dreading. He knew they were going to be extremely busy, and quite frankly he wanted to call out seeing as he was already late. His thoughts were briefly distracted by his black tabby, quietly pawing at his legs, ready for its breakfast. He made sure to fill up its bowl before he dashed out the door, returning twice to grab whatever he forgot the first few times. And he was off.
He breathed a sigh of relief as the last customer left. It had been the best sales day of the year, and they were obviously going to celebrate. He had been contemplating going on home, but he needed to unwind too. He had no serious obligations the next day, so he could stay out as late as he wanted. So when they asked, he happily agreed to go with them.
He couldn’t open his eyes. He was barely conscious as it was. He slapped lazily around until he managed to shut the alarm off, before he rolled onto his stomach and buried his face in his pillow. The door creaked as his black tabby walked in and jumped onto his back, where it curled up close to his head. The hot breath in his ear lulled him back to sleep.
The doorbell continued to ring. He crawled out of bed and made his way to the front door. It was his next door neighbor, a kind woman in her late seventies, who still worked. She was in her business suit, holding a trash bag. “Oh did I wake you up? I thought you were usually up by now.” “I usually am.” He said groggily. “But they let me have today off.” “Well I hate to come bearing such bad news so early in the morning,” She said, patting his hand, “but I ran over your dear tabby last night when I got home. I came straight over to tell you but you weren’t home.” He stared at her for a few seconds, before their silence was broken by its footsteps.
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Okay i get how the cat got ran over and was recarnated because it’s an attempt to make the story scary, but there is so many things you didn’t put in the story.
Like for one I came here to learn about grinny cat but it didn’t even say a damn thing about the cat!!! It should have also been from the cats point of view. I like reading about violence and let’s face it the cats supposed to kill stuff!! Again you could have given some facts about the cat (color,name,size,age,ect.)!!! In the story you only used non-proper nouns, you could have at least made the boy have a name!! It’s also scatter brained, it’s all over the place in the middle!
I feel it was way to rushed and that it could have been done 10x better… if you want to see a 10 star story read about Jeff the killer.
Constructive criticism
:D
I usually like creepypastas, but this one (I don’t mean to hurt or offend the author) was really terrible. Maybe if the author had added in a Tim Burton factor into it where the man whose cat got run over kept imagining seeing the cat like it was before it was hit ’cause it was close to him or something, it could have been better. But I feel like there was no sauce and some pretty stale noodles in this pasta.
You aren’t supposed to reboil pasta. *eyeroll*
It was meh, but it was kind of neat, but how could it be a black tabby? Whatever man, it had a cat, so I’m gonna appreciate it by default.
Have my babies!
It wasn’t his cat that slept with him it was a monster
BOO HISS this sucked!
I like this story because similar things happened and still happen to me. I miss my little Puss n Boots.
This was terrible a very poorly written pasta. It’s not creepy at all the old woman clearly ran over a different cat
Person:1- I think you have as much potential as my user name. You is on the right track bb. Very creative. Person 2 may or may not be harsh, but i think that you have a pretty good idea of how to um be a thrill writer. if that’s what you’re going for. cause i think you were attemptingt that.
Person:2-YOU HAS AS MUCH POTENTIAL AS A POETATOE
I gave it an 8/10, simply because I just love cats ^^
Meh.Seen better.2 INAHALF.
THEN WHO WAS TABBY?!?!?!?
Actually there is a black tabby but it’s not
Completely black just light black(greyish)
And black
I hear my black cat’s footsteps. But then again, she’s always meowing at me so I don’t really need to.
This was really bad. I felt like a part of me had died while reading it. I don’t know why I got all the way through it.
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A BLACK TABBY!!! ARE YOU STU–
Oh wait, of course you are. Because this sucks shit.
Maybe his cat was some mutant to begin with and that’s why it was a black tabby, and it had a clone. Or something. Seeing as black tabbies don’t exist, so the neighbor wouldn’t have been confused. That means there’s a dead one and a live one.
Stupid me for reading too much into this. There is no message, it’s just mush. Indiscernible, overcooked mush.
0/10
Tabby’s are not technically a breed. The word Tabby refers to a pattern. Therefore, it is possible to have a black tabby, it would simply be hard to discern.
I love this story :3 the cat dies but comes
Back to its owner and u only said a dog
was loyal :3
Stupid :|
BUT THEN WHO WAS TRASH BAG?
I think this is decent, at least. I liked it because it was a little creepy and somewhat sad, and a tiny bit… cute? Unless it\’s a demon cat.
PS: I have a black cat.
Meh, not too original. It reminds me of the story about the girls dog licking her hand from under the bed but then realizing the dog wasn’t under there.
2/10
Ok, seriously, who the fuck has ears good enough to hear a cat’s footsteps?
i feel like the ending was cut off
it would have been better if they had like a way to recinize that it was his cat like an ID or if they had seen the \’cat\’ and it wasnt the cat or a ghost
i feel like the ending was cut off
it would have been better if they had like a way to recinize that it was his cat like an ID
So… It’s Binks… The boy turned cat in the movie HOCUS POCUS. He couldn’t die.
Yup, that’s what I’m going to go with.
What kind of self-respecting man has a pet cat?
I wasn’t scared, but I did feel bad for the cat. It sucks when your cat gets hit by a car, it fucking sucks big time.
How can a tabby cat be black?
Are you…are you stupid?
How can a tabby cat be black?
Are you stupid..?
Did you seriously not get it you guys?
Cat dies, becomes ghost cat. THE END!
i dont get it at all…. :/
What is this I don’t even
God, it was either a different cat that she ran over, or a stray in his house. Not. Even. Close.
I don’t get- …
Oh. I see.
Uhm… Yes. I think nex is right, because of the last line.
Pasta is too vague.
I don’t get- …
Oh. I see.
Uhm… Yes. I think nex is right, because of the last line.
Pasta is too vague.
Not scary at all, she could have run over something else and mistaken it for his cat.
She ran over the wrong cat. CREEEEEPYYYYYYYYYYY
The cat who breathed on him was actually just an obese man in a cat costume.
ghost cat comes back to cuddle with his owner. not creepy. very beautiful.
doodz. cats have nine lives in superstition correct? i think its referring to that. it lost one of its lives. not a zombiecat.
@Sama – lol u make a good point. I’ve read this 1 b4, on creepypasta.net, as well as da 2 above it.
@ppl dat thnk therez a ghost cat – theres not, its staposta b sum serial killer/hot breath monster thing. also, why not run if you hear it come down stairs. i’ve only seen one house that had the staircase come out right in front of the front door, nd dat burnt down, so I guess datz karma
Right…so umm who was phone?
Like lots of people said, it could have been another cat. The story itself wasn’t too bad though, it was just sad rather than creepy. I wouldn’t mind a ghost cat cuddled up to my neck. It sounds rather appealing.
CAT WAS FONE!!!!!!
made me think of a goosebumps or something i read when i was like 9
So the lady ran over a cat, that just so happened to be black? OMG THERE ARE LEIK NO BLACK CATS IN THE WORLD AND THE ONE THAT HE HAD WAS THE LAST OF IT’S KIND!!!1!ONE…. Fail story is fail.
Comments made me laf. She must have hit another cat, if the cat that was breathing on him was his so it’s not even creepy -.-
twilight zone feeling here
(cont.) The black tabby wandered into the room stretched and yawned. “Mrs. Birkowitz,” he said “that’s not my cat.” “Oh,” she said as she squinted at the bag “well I guess I should go throw this out. You have a nice day off now.” He closed the door and rubbed his eyes. Then he poured his tabby some milk and watched some T.V.
BUT THEN WHO WAS PILLOW
Also, CAT WAS WEIRD FAPPING BEARD MONSTER FROM THAT OTHER STORY :3
i like this one :)
it wwas…… okay
I agree with most of the comments. If there had been some foreshadowing (i.e. the cat having cold breath instead of warm) and of some strange behavior from it (clawing at injuries, biting its owner, becoming hungrier and hungrier…something remotely scary) then maybe this would have been creepypasta. As is, it’s a bit “kiddie horror story collection” (Agreeing with HILARIA).
.. not very tasty.
btw: normally you can’t really hear a cat walk, run maybe, but not walk.
Tabby and black are two totally different coat patterns for cats. There’s no such thing as a black tabby, I’m not reading this shit.
See, the question everyone missed was, “THEN WHO WAS BAG?”
Bricks have been shat
I would have liked it better if the cat had a distinctive coat. Because the old lady could have hit a different black cat and thought it was his. But if the cat was a fluffy calico, it makes that situation unlikely.
Also, “She was in her business suit, holding a trash bag.” I suppose this is to indicate that the cat was in the bag? [But is apparently out of it! Oh ho ho! I am such a wit.]
Some more detail would have made this pasta enjoyable.
This makes me want to write a story called “The Twist” that doesn’t actually have one.
That was pretty bad.
Yea.. maybe if it was a person or something..
awww, ghost kitty.
1/10.
What a catastrophe of a story, a midnight pussy being hit by a catallac…just another copycat of other shitty stories; a duplicat of epic proportions
My jokes were better than this pasta, not even kitten
Are you kidding me? This isn’t creepy in the slightest. This is just a story that leads you to wonder how badly the cat is injured. Sucks, to be honest.
OH. MY. GOD.
She ran over another cat. I AM SCARED OUT OF MY FRIGGIN’ WITS.
I saw that ending coming : ( It reminded me of the one where you couldn’t get to sleep because the books kept falling, and you kept pulling your “blanket” over your head…
I liked it though – the writing, anyway. I hated the fact that the cat died, because I’m a huge cat fan D: It just made me sad and hug my own cat xD
Um…I totally don’t get whats going on…this makes no sense. TERRIBLE pasta.
can the Title of these stories be created a little differently than the ‘twist’? It probably would have caught me off guard if the freaking title wasn’t screaming SOMETHING’S GOING TO HAPPEN WITH THE CAT OMG!!!1111
I’ve seen a bunch of pastas ruined because of the horrible spoiler titles =/
BUT WHO WAS PHONE?!
Seriously. This is just a fucking rewrite. Nothing original, except you changed the girl’s dad to a freakin’ tabby cat.
A solid 5/10 for the writing, which wasn’t bad.
But I’m giving you a 2/10 for the concept.
Not at all creepy.
THEN WHO WAS CAT!
( :P )
This was way too predictable. This is one of those scary stories that people tell each other at a sleepover or campfire.
wasn’t that scary. I was expecting a more epic scare at the end.
really wish that the name didn’t hint you in on the important story elements.
change it to “The Sales” or something, please?
I WANT MY FOOD 8B
Uhhh? Seems to be a crappy attempt at actual horror.
It takes a twisted mind to write horror[See Poe]
I did like this, short and sweet and packed a punch. It was delivered pretty well just 1 minor problem, I knew exactly what was going to happen.
That could’ve been any damn random cat she ran over.
Poor storyline. Ghost kitties? I don’t think so.
Meh.
I jumped*.
Oh shit, I kinda skipped over it for a second, then I read the last part again. I have to admit jumped. That was a very good pasta. :D
Almost forgot- BUT WHO WAS IT?
It’s funny because the robot ain’t got no arms.
This is a bit like a classic children’s horror story with a dash of Pet Cemetery. I like it.
Now that was a decent pasta. Had a very back-to-basics feel that worked in its favor, IMO.
Meh. Wasn’t all that impressed.
Oh, god, I don’t want to THINK about that.
So, Basically, She ran over some other black cat…
Also, WHO WAS KILL?!
Yay,Ghost cat
Not really that creepy or scary. Decent, though.
Who was tabby?
*facepalm*
Reading this made me die a little inside.
ZOMBIE LOLCAT ZOMBIE LOLCAT ZOMBIE LOLCAT!
As disturbing as it would in the situation, I can’t help but feel a sense of “oh how sweet, it loves me/this house so much it came back from the dead”… am I twisted for thinking that?
Or if they’re implying it’s not actually the cat… then I’m scared.
At first I was like “meh”, but I think I liked it. It wasn’t too creepy, but it was OK. It’s more like an Aw-pasta rather than a Creeoy-pasta. Kind of cute.
PD: I have a black cat.
BUT WHO WAS KIND WOMAN?
That fucking sucked.
OH
SHIT
BUT WHO WAS ZOMBIE CAT ?????
This is either really creepy or sad and I can’t tell which.
Wait, what?
Well that was crap.
A poor effort resulting in a poor story. It all this “he saw him/her/it and then was dolt that she/he/it was dead.”
I think someone should filter out submissions that make no attempt to deviate from widespread templates.
Lame!
Wow. Really? That was it? It’s like somebody took “Who was phone,” added “Humans have tongues too,” blended them liberally, and strained any actual creepiness out of it until it had the taste and consistency of grits.
You can only re-boil old pasta so many times before it goes to mush. 2/10, and I usually like /everything,/ so…
Not well written at all nor creepy. It jumps around too much and the ending is very poor.
Ok so I read it again… it still doesn’t make sense cat’s dead.. but WHO WAS FOOTSTEPS?
LOLWUT? No seriously, what?! This is a terrible pasta… First 2 paragraphs are completely irrelevant. So is the cat a ghost, a zombie-cat, or just a badly wounded cat who crawled back in and licked his ear while bleeding all over and making a mess? The unoriginal title made me not expect much but this was just… dumb
FIRST
THEN WHO WAS CAT?
wut?
Another joke pasta?
I normally try not to do this, but it feels just so appropriate in this case.
BUT WHO WAS HOT BREATH?
This story’s been done before, hasn’t it? Awakening was something like this. “Oh, let me hug my blanket nice and close. Yeah, that’s nice. Oh wait! My blanket’s on the floor. Oh sh-”
Don’t Worry About It was that way, too. “I’m being hugged by my wife. Oh that’s not my wife! Oh sh-”
Then there was that story with the dog. “I’m patting my doggy’s head cuz it makes me feel better. Gotta go to the bathroom. Oh! Here’s my dog’s corpse. OH SH-”
Besides, if the thing didn’t eat him while it was cozied up to his neck, why would it do it now? It was just a stray cat in his apartment, that’s not creepypasta.
7/10. It was still alright.
saw it coming from a million miles away. stale pasta is stale. As old as creepy stories themselves.
I liked it, but I don’t understand how it’s rightly creepy. The old lady could’ve just hit another black cat, and and thought it was his.
Fail pasta fails.
inb4 BUT WHO WAS CAT??
Eh, not bad. But who was cat?
The cat was a ghost instead of horror its more like a trajec story. It happens to many people, my dog was poisoned, i didn’t know at the time but before I went to bed it came into my room and layed at my feel, my mom told me that it ‘ran away’ the night before, run away means killed in our family
I don’t get it…
She ran over his cat so he all “Oh crap, WHO WAS LICKING EAR?
You’ve got to be kidding me
not scary at all. the lady ran over a different cat.
I see. I didn’t like this one too much.