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The Black Door: A Tale of Personal Phobia



Estimated reading time — 9 minutes

I never liked doors. There was always something about doors that freaked me out. When they were open, I felt exposed. When they were closed, I felt a bit safer, yet nervous about what was on the other side. So I often lock my doors and the doors that lead outside of my small rural house have plenty of windows. I’ve told people about this phobia, I guess you could call it that, before. They’ve rationalized it, saying “It’s like how some people aren’t afraid of the dark, but what the dark hides”. Yes, that makes sense. I guess, ever since I was a kid, I always imagined watching one open on its own and a monster would come out and get me. Even now and again into my teen years did this happen. It was always a door, never through a window, never out of a dark hallway or corner, but a door. The knob would turn, the hinges would creak and out came a creature of utter blackness and it would take me away, kill me or whatever monsters did. That is why I hated this particular door.

This door was tall, nearly eight feet tall and about three feet wide. It was black, jet black. I didn’t like it. It was big, dark, and in my bedroom. I never used this door often. I kept some old clothes behind that door on racks. Suits, ties, dress pants, just some random formal stuff I hardly used. I was just a cook so I never really needed them unless I needed a job. Luckily I was able to stay with this diner for a long time. I haven’t opened that door for five years. I often wonder why I never got rid of it. If I didn’t like it, why keep it? Well I guess because it just seemed silly. It seemed silly to get rid of a door just because of some childhood fears. I was a big boy now, I’m not supposed to be afraid of the dark or the boogeyman.

“Heh, yeah.” I rapped my knuckle against the door as I stood in front of it, “I’m not afraid of you. You’re just a big piece of wood. All you got behind you are some old clothes that probably don’t even fit me anymore.” I tried to laugh away my concern as I looked at the door. It seemed to tower over me, two small panels at the top of the door seemed to angle down at me. For a moment I felt like it was looking right at me. I tried to laugh again, but I couldn’t quite muster the humor. Instead I gave it another rap and walked off. I had things to do, get ready for work, bills to pay, and people to see. I didn’t have time to be afraid of a door.

A couple of nights went by after I ‘mocked’ the door. The feeling of being looked down on didn’t leave for the rest of the week. For some reason I just felt…watched by the door. I lay in bed one night, parallel to the door, and stared at it. The door was hidden in the darkness, with only its brass knob to let me know it never moved. I stared for some time, looking directly at it. I felt like I was in a staring contest with the door. We just looked at each other, waiting for the other to make a move. We waited until one of us broke the stare, we tried to intimidate the other. We stared for a long time before I finally blinked. When I did blink I expected the door to suddenly swing open and reveal some sort of monster. Nothing happened, the door simply stood there, looking at me, looming over me. A chill ran down my spine and I finally turned away. I went to sleep, but not after several glances back at the door.

I woke up that morning with a headache. My head pounded like a death metal drum solo. I groaned, it hurt like a son of a bitch. I pressed my hands on the bed to feel something warm dampen my hands. I opened my eyes. There on my pillow and down onto the white sheets was a pool of blood. I sat up, tearing my face away from the pillow. It was sticky from the dried blood. When I examined the sheets closer I saw drops falling from my nose. I had a bloody nose, of course. I quickly stood up from my bed and ran to the bathroom with my head up like some sort of super snob. Ya know, the kind where they even look down on God. Anyway I ran in and looked at myself in the mirror. The left half of my face, mostly the cheek and mouth area, was dark red and brown and two streams of blood still dripped from nose. I held it up again, this time feeling around the bathroom for some toilet paper. I found some and quickly plugged my nose up in a hurry. The toilet paper stopped the blood and I was able to sigh in relief. I felt dizzy though and when the crisis ended, my headache decided to take center stage again. With another groan I wandered into my bedroom and called in sick. I couldn’t go to work like this. I called my boss, and with the toilet paper in my nose, I sounded more convicting. He told me to call someone and so I called Fred, he’s a good shit.

“Hello?” Came up his voice. I must’ve just woke him up.

“Hey, Fred. It’s Josh. Listen man, I’m feeling like shit and I need you to come in for me, alright?” There was a silence on the phone. He was probably nodding. Fred had a stupid tendency to do that, like he thought the phone had video or something. Finally he responded.

“Yeah, yeah sure.” He said with a yawn.

“Thanks man, I’ll take Friday for ya, if you’d like.”

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“I would like that, Josh. Thanks.”

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“Yeah, I’ll talk to ya later.” I hung up. There, I had the day to get cleaned up and my head to feel better. As I laid my phone back on the base I noticed something odd. There was a sheet missing from my bed. Figuring I just kicked it off as I slept, I took a look around the bed. Nothing. Not under the bed, not behind it, not around it. I looked all over and couldn’t find it. With a sigh I sat down on the bloody bed. What a day, and I just woke up. My headache pounded as I tried to think, tried to calm down. I felt like crap, but I also felt nervous for some reason. A bloody nose and a headache then my sheet is gone. I pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration. What a fucking day. Then I looked up, intent on some aspirin…and I noticed something else. My closet door wasn’t closed all the way. I could tell because the latch rested on the outside of the frame. Now I was really freaking out.

I stood up, in nothing but my boxers and approached the door. I reached for the handle. I looked up at those two panels and again, they seemed to angle down at me, staring me dead in the eye. I hesitated and took a step back. Why was it open and why was I so scared of it? It was just a door. Nothing to be scared of…yet I was. I was absolutely terrified of this door right now. My head pounded, my nose was plugged with toilet tissues, and I was alone in my boxers. Dawn was just creeping through my window. I gripped the handle. There was nothing, absolutely nothing to be scared of. I told myself this probably a million times as my hand shook on the knob. The quaking knob made small rattling noises as the latch vibrated against the frame. Finally I took a deep breath, made a tight fist, and swung open the door.

Inside was the five jackets, dress shirts, dress pants, and two pairs of shoes I wear for interviews. They were all aligned and straight on the rack they hung on by their hangers. Just as I had left them five years ago. I looked down and there was my sheet under the coats. It was folded up neatly into a perfect square. One word raced across my mind a thousand times. How? How how how how how how? I didn’t know, and I didn’t think I wanted to know. Mustering my courage again, I reached down and grabbed the sheet then I shut the door. I must’ve used more force than usual as the door shut with a small slam. I jumped in response, but I stood my ground otherwise. I looked back up at the two panels and remained still. They looked back. They seemed to be waiting for some sort of response to my findings. Did they want praise, fear, scolding? What was I do to? Should I tell it how much it scared me and how terrible of a trick it was? I looked up at it. It looked back. I never moved from where I was until around 10 am.

The day pressed on. I was downstairs, cleaned up and my headache was gone. I was sitting on my couch watching TV. I was watching a documentary. It was about the civil war and how Sherman marched through Atlanta burning all in his path. Next to me in a chair was the sheet I found in the closet. I didn’t take the time to put them back on the bed, nor did I take the bloody sheets and pillow to be washed. I didn’t intent to sleep up there anyway. Yet it seems my venture to avoid the door was not something I was destined. As a man talked about how Sherman planned to burn Atlanta to the ground I heard something that made my blood run cold. A loud slam echoed through the emptiness of my house. It was a fierce slam, like someone who was running for their life would slam a door in front of a killer. Or like how a child looking for attention would slam their parent’s door. I jumped up from the couch and look up the stairs leading to my room. The slam echoed in my ears a few times as I gazed up, unable to move. I was not just scared anymore. I was terrified. Something was in my house, something hid behind that door. And that something wanted my attention.

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“Hello?” I called out. I wasn’t sure how I was able to muster the courage to call out into the empty house. I wasn’t even sure why I thought I’d get answer. I didn’t and the house was silent once again. My nerves were not settled however. I took a few steps forward, my socks whispering on the pale carpet. I stopped and nothing continued to happen. I licked my lips, they were incredibly dry. I then jogged. I couldn’t believe how fast I decided to see the door. My body felt like on autopilot as I skipped up steps to my room. I flew past the bathroom and suddenly found myself at the doorway leading to my room. I looked around the corner. There was the door. It was shut tight, no latch left out. I stepped into my room. I stepped slowly, cautiously. Those two panels watched my every move like the eyes of a hawk, or that of a demon. I looked at them as I continued. Every few steps I paused to listen and watch. Nothing happened. Then I was at the door. I looked up at the panels again. This time something else caught my eye. It was a long streak. The door was covered with them, but this one was larger than the rest. The streak extended between the two panels and curved. It was smiling at me.

I was downstairs again. This time with a beer in my hands, the quilt over me, and my head on the arm of the couch. The time was 11:30pm. I was watching a movie. One of the Die Hards I think it was. I sat, my eyes blank and my body cold. I was very cold now. I even wore my jacket under the quilt and I was still shivering. I was probably actually very scared, yet I didn’t feel all that scared. Just cold. I watched as explosions came off the screen, as gunfire was passed back and forth between Bruce Willis and some terrorists. I watched, my body shivering yet still. I took a drink of the beer only every ten minutes, on the minute. I watched…and waited. I knew I was waiting for something. For the door to do something, yet I couldn’t leave. I didn’t feel the need yet. I felt distant, actually. I felt like I was watching myself watch TV. I only ever came back to the present whenever the ten minutes came up. I watched TV and kept an ear out for something.

At 12:00 midnight, just as I drank my beer I heard what I was waiting for. The walls shook, the ground quaked, and my heart stopped. There was another loud slam, oh, but it wasn’t over yet. That slam was followed by another, and another, and another. The pace was slow at first, but it picked up quickly. It was almost like listening to a giant smash against a wall over and over again. My body moved faster than I ever thought I could, yet I remember every moment. My hair standing up, my legs kicking off the quilt, my hands grabbing the keys to my car. My head turning to the stairs. The slamming continued throughout the process. I ran out the door, I ran to my car. Then I drove away. I drove so fast, so fast to get away from the slamming. It continued in my head. Pounding, over and over and over again. It just wouldn’t stop. I couldn’t concentrate. I just heard the slamming of my closet door over and over again, like a jackhammer. It pierced my mind and broke my sanity. I began to laugh and laughed even louder as I watched a pair of headlights rush into my car.


Credited to Eman.

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167 thoughts on “The Black Door: A Tale of Personal Phobia”

  1. ThisIsANameForAComment

    “He’s a good shit.” … I cannot stress how hard a misplaced ‘a’ has made me laugh. Like seriously, I haven’t laughed that hard in a while.

  2. A door? Seriously? Something that at worst can open, close and make noises? Maybe crush your fingers if it really gets lucky? I could have found it creepy if there really had been something behind the door, but the door itself… uh.
    It would even make sense if it could all be ascribed to simple obsession, and the door was just a normal door, but then I wouldn’t know what to do with the folded sheet (not that now I know, honestly).
    BTW, with a bleeding nose (or a bleeding anything, really) taking aspirin is definitely a bad choice, it would make the bleeding increase.

  3. I HAVE THE SAME FEAR! Well, actually, my fear is of going THROUGH doors. I have had dreams where I walk through doors and something is hiding right next to it. Also, 10/10. UNDERRATED PASTA WARNING!

  4. Hmmmm…..This pasta seemed undercooked…and it left an odd taste in my mouth…now I don’t know what to think…

  5. NOOOOOO!! Epic story with rushed ending, again?!?! If he slammed his car into a door, it would have had more meaning. Dude, redo this, please! I wanna see alternate ending!!

  6. i liked this one, mainly because i can somewhat relate. it kept me on edge but the end wasnt the the best. still good. 7/10

  7. Sounds like the door is a total asshole.

    Seriously, I always loved this one. I wish it went somewhere, but damn was it fun. Overall, repeating what you’ve heard before. Great lead up, crappy punchline, few writing mistakes, but overall good. Just enough rambling to flesh things out, but wasn’t ob-fucking-noxious like some pastas can get.

    While it’s only “good,” I hate doors, so this one has a special place in my heart.

  8. The writing is terrible, and the ending was extremely rushed…
    This story has so much potential, though.

    Also, so in the end the guy was just insane? I fucking hate stories that end that way, it’s like why even bother writing at all?

  9. The story was getting interesting and then the ending suddenly goes bad. :( Despite the disappointing ending, this scared me! Hahaha I’m sleeping with the lights on tonight. :)

  10. This actually scared me….. Which is really hard to do…
    Most likely because i have the same door in MY room.

  11. good writing, but story was not that great, or creepy. like others have said, it sounded like you got bored of writing it halfway through. 5/10

  12. The story has potential but there are some holes in the plot. How is the speaker writing this if he was in a head on collision? Chances are he would be dead. There was also part where it mentioned it just had a knob, then later the latch was there on top of some other grammatical errors. But as another commenter said, you managed to build up a lot of tension with just a door for me.

    6/10

  13. After I finished reading this, I heard something of a door slam five times. D:

    I personally have a fear of doors, so I expected this to scare me shitless. Sadly, not entirely the case. I was pretty scared until the door smiled. Then I got a bit more comfortable, but the creep factor slowly crept back up again. But then the ending. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

  14. I am disappointed.. I was expecting so much more for the ending.. I really wanted the closet or whatever was in it to be his demise, not a CAR.

  15. I have the same fear. And. for some god damn reason, I have two closets. So I have three doors in my room.

    The anticipation was stellar. The second he even mentioned going outside to his car, though, it was like he escaped and went into the real world, and away from his paranoia.

    Also…

    THEN WHO WAS DOOR?????

  16. I couldn\’t help imagining the door jumping off its hinges and sneaking up on him, and then stealing his sheet and punching him in the face. Other than that (also the ending, which was atrocious and took all the tension you had built up and raped it in the ass), it was masterful. The fact that you managed to build up so much tension with a door as the antagonist is quite impressive.

  17. I loved it…till the end. Maybe would have been more in keeping with the door theme if Josh drove into a car door that someone had just opened…or something like that.

  18. theguywhoreadsthisstuff

    loved it, i can relate to that door fear i had and occasionally have.
    didn’t like the ending in all honesty as much i haz a door fear i wouldn’t kill myself from a slamming but i would get out as quick as possible.
    some of these critics are being retarded like that redkamo where his points out your wording was wrong, was actually right .
    overall a 6.5/10

  19. I loved this, but did the guy have to die at the end? If he’s gonna run out of the house, it seems like we should have the “I never went back to that house” ending. The car crash doesn’t really make it any scarier but it does make it less likely.

  20. …All I could see while I was reading this was my open bedroom door, and my wardrobe door, which never closes properly…

    I have a right to be freaked out, don’t I?

  21. Every time the protagonist opened the closet I was completely expecting “AND THEN A SKELETON POPPED OUT!”
    Other than that, weak ending but great build up

  22. I must say what everyone else has, the ending was quite abrupt…but….hmm….Does it remind anyone else of The Telltale Heart? You know, the repeted thumpy/slam-y noise removing the narrarator of the last shred of his decaying sanity?

    I dunno, the entire story was kinda Edgar Allen Poe-ish. But not quite as good.

  23. I was proper frightened by this story – mainly ‘cos I have the same fear of doors. All in all, I rather enjoyed it and found myself more than terrified to read it, but the ending was ridiculously disappointing. I’m not sure how it could have been better, but it definitely could have been better.

  24. Disappointing ending. Just a little too much use of simile with the “almost like a_____”. Too much filler and unnecessary detail like about the movie, etcetera. I got bored partway through and the rest felt like slogging through an average 5th grader’s diary entry.

    The idea is creepy. Mysterious door, sure, that’s scary. But the story just went on and on, very repetitive, droning. Kind of like this comment.

  25. dang it, now I’m afraid of doors. great job. XD

    but seriously, is it just supposed to be ironic that someone who has feared doors their whole life would get a house with a door that randomly slams without someone pushing it? seriously, it was probably all in his head.

  26. @Redkamo:

    The writing in the first sentence is correct. The negative is used properly. It’s like when you say “That was a bad story, wasn’t it?” He is saying that the character went to sleep, but had to keep checking the door every so often out of paranoia.

    As for the third quote (you’re right in that the second quote was poor) blood is interesting in that while you’re bleeding, the older blood is coagulating while the new blood is still fresh and liquid. So yes, a bloodstain that’s fresh can in fact be wet and sticky and “dried” at the same time. Although I guess “semi dried” or “coagulated” might have been a better word choice.

    Overall, I enjoyed the story though the cliched “the real terror began at the stroke of midnight” kind of ruined the chill a bit for me. I’d have liked it better for the slamming to happen at a random time. Who says this force abides by our arbitrary rules of scary?

    But the ending was good. Overall, good story, would pasta again. 8/10

  27. It was great up until the ending. I was actually scared through most of it, but an evil door causing a guy to be so scared he gets into a car crash… well just reread that again, evil door + car crash just isn’t very scary or logical.

    Also, this may just be me, but first person perspective when the main character hasn’t written anything or left a note with the narration is kind of a deal breaker in creepy. Because if the person narrating dies how did the story get out? I mean yeah it’s just a story, but the best horror stories have an air of possibility in them. This is one of those rarities where the writing is good but the plot kind of ruined it.

    5/10

  28. I think it was good. The ending was a little fast though… but at least it made an effect. I liked the idea of madness from a phobia, although it\’s been done so many times already; this one plays with you a little. But I would re-think some of the descriptiveness in this piece, just to get a better feel of the character\’s madness. :)

  29. Like a giant smashign against a wall over and over? seriously? taht was your choice of metaphor for a loud banging? this isntantly ruiend the mood which had quite effectively in my opnion built up to that point.

  30. i loved it. so simple but so synical… there was a few things u could’ve added like how he ended up witht the large headache & the massive pool of blood & also maybe a lil background on the house. and there r a few things u should’ve left out. like his phobia. the door would’ve seemed so much more synical if he was completely sane without the phobia of doors & then the door literally drove him into insanity & death

  31. *slam*slam*slam*slam*slam*slam*slam*slam*slam*slam*slam*slam*slam*slam*slam*slam*slam*slam*slam*slam*slam*slam*slam*slam*slam*slam*slam*slam*slam*slam*slam*slam*

  32. It was good, but could have been better. Best part was the description of dread, of not daring to act. Worst I think was the irrational behaviour of the protagonist, who is able to watch TV when they’re terrified?

  33. Fuck man, I don’t know what it was about the story, but suddenly I don’t like doors anymore.
    Maybe I identified with it more than most stories or something
    but shit man.

    9/10

  34. You know, I sat there reading that, concentrating extremely hard, KNOWING that the ending was going to be phenominal….The story started out very entertaining and for some reason on edge and creepy…..But I was greatly dissapointed with the ending. However the rest was VERY nice. 7/10.

  35. 3 words:
    Ending. was. BOGUS!!
    The rest of the story was AWESOME
    but the ending…? really? Did he get arrested for speeding or something??
    at least 7/10.

  36. i liked how descriptive and the build up was practically agonozing
    but WTF?
    the ending was terrible
    i wanted the devil himself to come out of that door
    or worse
    seriously
    pasta for the gods topped with sauce made for the homeless
    7/10

  37. I can’t decide whether the concept is genius or fuckin retarded. It might be genius, because unlike ventriliquist dummies and scary clowns, the reader is very likely to have a door within a few yards of them. And you somehow managed to make it pretty creepy without any idea of how a door could possibly harm you. However, “I never liked doors”? Lrn2intro.

    Also the ending sucked cock.

  38. The door folded your sheet for you, AFTER you yelled at it, obviously it felt bad for unintentionally scarying and decided to make it up to you by showing it isn’t that bad after all.

    But you insisted on ignoring it, poot little guy just wanted a friend. Do you even know what its like to be a door?? I bet you don’t.

    All in all it was a good story though.

  39. That was wonderful. I loved the past-tense wording, it made me realize our narrator wouldn’t make it.

    Lucky for me, I have a sliding door closet, and I keep one door slid open because I’m lazy. No horrible door insanity for me!

  40. This was a great start, but a rushed and senseless ending. I didn’t really like it. Also watch out for spelling and grammar, especially stuff the word check won’t catch.
    Like
    *Even now and again into my teen years did this happen.*
    Every now and again…
    And it should have been put with the first sentence as a coma because it’s not a complete thought.

    But it’s a lot easier to judge a story than write it, so great job for taking the risks!

  41. This was a great start, but a rushed and senseless ending. I didn’t really like it. Also watch out for spelling and grammar, especially stuff the word check won’t catch.
    Like
    *Even now and again into my teen years did this happen.*
    Every now and again…
    And it should have been put with the first sentence as a coma because it’s not a complete thought.

  42. This ending sucked balls, dude.

    Personally… what ruined it for me was that the obnoxiously huge and obvious door was too obnoxious and huge. From the description it didn’t fit! It would have been the same if he described a big field of flowers with bunnies and deer but there was that one giant black elephant that, I dunno, didn’t feel good man.

    The ending was a cop-out. “I dunno how to further this plot or end it so I’m going to totally disregard I’m writing in first person and kill the protagonist.”

  43. LexiiLollipops

    i love this, i have the same fear… but i have it because i watch to many scary movies and read to many scary things… i love the feeling i get when im scared… if that makes any sense what so ever.

  44. I guess some people are afraid of closets and some people are not, which is why some people love this story and some hate it.

    I agree, the ending sucked, but the buildup was good.

    I related the bloody nose to getting smacked in the face with a door. But since he was not anywhere near the door while he was sleeping, that was the spooky part. Or was supposed to be, I thought.

  45. Steven LeBlanc

    Very intriguing story. Possibility for a short film, I feel. Very unearving, yet I must agree that the ending seemed a tad anti-climactic. Time was spent to go in depth about the xperience, yet the final result just passed like lightning. Otherwise an excellent piece.

  46. 9/10
    This kept me in a constant shiver throughout the most of it.
    However, a Stephen King-y ending wouldn’t have been wrong.
    It also made me quite scared of my closet door :/

    It’s a lights-on and that’s enough for me ^^

  47. “It’s like how some people aren’t afraid of the dark, but what the dark hides”.

    um it’s the same thing you fuckin idiot.

  48. Well… There’s potential here. And not to be redundant, but… ending. If you wanted to stop at the part where the door is smiling, I think that would have been fine. However, you have a gift for writing suspense. 3/5

  49. Why did’nt he just get an axe or somthing and smash the door? Oh well….
    I really liked this, so much suspense! I remember thinking somwhere near the end “Hahaha! this guy is crazy… I love it!”

  50. Good shit, I really liked this pasta, except for the grammatical errors and the absolutely abysmal ending. It really had so much potential then at the end was just a drop off into a terrible ending that really had nothing to do with the story aside from the last few sentences saying he wanted to escape.

  51. omg! now i’m scared to go to bed… i’m gonna be starring at my door all night… hmmm… this ending was ok but i would of made it like instead he goes to his friend and tells him what happend but the friend thinks he has gone mad then he gets into a horible crash and dies with the sound of the door slamming in his head… over and over again and again..

  52. Really rather bad. Aside from the grammar butchery and the silly protagonist, the dark force is a door? And it slams? And that’s scary? You’ve obviously never had a pissed-off girlfriend and old oak doors in your house. You hear doors slam with such force that would make your “black door” hang its head in shame. If it had one. It feels like you got bored toward the end, and just typed up the first thing that came to your mind. Cheap, silly, not even remotely frightening and a complete waste of 5 minutes. 1/10

  53. I really liked this one. It did scare me and i actually heard the closet slamming.

    Got to say though, the end was so-so. I would of like to know the whole deal about this ‘door’. Was it a demon? Or just a trick of madness?

    6/10, but, like everyone else said, the potential here is amazing.

  54. Meh. I liked the beginning part, it had potential. But the second half was just really “I I I I door door of the doors I door I I I door I door I” over and over again. The end especially sucked. You have potential, but don’t rush because you get bored of it; take a break, write down a plan for it.
    As is: 3/10, but potential in the writer to be 9.5

  55. I liked the characterisation on the narrator, very convincing.
    Clostes are always a good subject, sort of a universal fear I guess but it wasn`t uncreative.

    That said…the ending was pretty unsatisfying. it didn`t make a lot of sense unfortunatly. Clean it up, ok pasta..

  56. not very good at all. lacked imagination, and im confused on sevaral parts.
    1. how is it being told, the dude died at the end.
    2. why stay in the house for 5 years?
    3. which die hard cuz number 3 sucked

  57. This caught my attention… I like it. And at this: “My head pounded like a death metal drum solo.” I lol’d.

  58. Ending gave me chills, but nearly as many as I should have had.

    7/10. I really liked everything until the last paragraph.

  59. the actual plot was less than creepy but i don’t see how you can argue with the writing style
    this website has weird taste

  60. wow this is good

    oh shit what the hell is going on

    fuuuuuu

    FUUUUUUUU

    wait he’s just driving why is the ending coming up so fas–
    MOTHERFUCKER what is this?!

  61. Eh the whole “AN DEN HE WINT CRAZE AT DE END” never does it for me. Felt like it was building up to something intense that never came.

  62. Charlotte Mander

    This pasta was a good read in concept, but lacking in presentation.

    I agree with WHARRGARBL. The story was good to begin with apart from a few grammatical errors, but the ending is what tarnished that.

    What really bothered me is that what was beyond the door was never explained in the slightest.

    While I do enjoy the suspense of a mystery being, and while I do think that leaving no explanation is the best solution sometimes, this one needed one.

    –Char Mander

  63. I liked the concept of this story and thought it had great potential. I just didn’t like the tone it was written in, which kind of took away from it being creepy. And I didn’t like how it ended either. Other than that, 5/10.

  64. Really? Just…really?
    1/10
    What the hell was with the nose bleed? Was that just a random “this will help people to relate” idea?
    And the ending was a bit…awful. Well…a lot awful, really. The ending’s supposed to be the part with the twist. The bit that gets everyone thinking “Oh wow. That was good.”
    This one just got me thinking “Yeah, I’d give up on writing a story with such a shit premise, too”.

  65. Interesting concept; the idea of fearing the unseen behind a closed door is a neat idea to base a creepy story on, but the execution was supremely lacking.

    The ending is really abrupt and forced. I’m all for leaving things unexplained and questions unanswered, but not in stopping the story pretty much in the middle of a sentence.

    The writing was quite poor and there was far too much attention given to pointless details that could easily have been omitted. Things that come to mind include the call to a coworker (Could have been accomplished in a single sentence instead of being dragged out over two paragraphs), the nearly autistic concern with the time (Seriously, what was up with the whole “Taking a drink every ten minutes”?) and the description of exactly what movie the narrator was watching)

    Also: The description of the door itself just came across as goofy rather than frightening.

  66. BUT WHO WAS DOOR?!!
    p.s. it was suspenseful but tbh the ending was kinda disappointing
    and it’s like you never explain what his problem really was– was he schizophrenic, paranoid or what? Nice play with words, though.
    Half-baked pasta….

  67. Only part that gave me a bit of a jolt was “It was smiling at me.” Other than that, I kept thinking about how being afraid of a door is just a tad strange. Different.

  68. This was… okay. The ending was was a little… meh and the wording was strange but you got potential I think. I thought it might have been a better ending had his pounding headaches been the sound of the slamming doors.

  69. I loved this. I really enjoyed the writing style. But like everyone else, the ending was too sudden. At first I liked it, then I read it again and didn’t. So.

  70. Definitely need a beta or something to work out those grammar kinks. Otherwise it definitely freaked me out a little.

  71. Me, reading this:

    “Oh shit, that door is creepy.”
    “Wow, this is getting intense.”
    “Crazy paranormal door shit’s about to go DOWN.”
    “… a car. A CAR. REALLY?!”

  72. It was okay, but the ending was almost comical. “I drove away. My head hurts. Oops, I wrecked my car.”

  73. yo nigga this shit was alright. the idea was kinda cool, but a fear of doors? thats FUCKING RETARDED. i liked it though, i wished it woulda kept going kuz the ending seemed kinda rushed.

  74. Uh… I take it that English is not your first language? There were several obvious mistakes in the grammar. I’ll try to find you a few:

    “My body felt like [it was] on autopilot as I skipped up steps to my room.”

    “Inside was [should be were] the five jackets, dress shirts, dress pants, and two pairs of shoes I wear for interviews. They were all aligned and straight on the rack they hung on by their hangers.”

    “Yet it seems my venture to avoid the door was not something I was destined.[… to achieve.]”

    These are several mistakes typical of someone fairly fluent, but still not quite perfect with their English.
    The premise was decent, I suppose.

    4/10

  75. The problem with most writers, and I say this from the experience of working in the publishing industry, is that they have a great idea for a story, but it’s very vague. Maybe they have a great idea for a titular character, or a brief synopsis in their mind of where the story starts, or the antagonist who’s ever so frightening they must put him/her/it down on paper. When they get to the actual writing, they find that the details are more difficult to fill in, and often they have no idea of where to end it. I’ve seen several writers miss a deadline because they had no “clincher” ending. Creepypasta authors or no different.

  76. The real problem with writing a story like this is that a thesaurus doesn’t help. What else are you going to call it? Entryway? Portal? So eventually it just runs together into a big THE DOOR THE DOOR THE DOOR DOOR DOOR DOOR DOOR DOOR DOORING DOORISH DOORED THE DOOR AT THE DOOR WITH THE DOOR DOOR OF DOORS.

    If this guy was in a head-on collision, who is he telling the story to? Wait, don’t tell me, it’s THE DOOR right?

  77. The build up was good – I’ve always had that vague fear of my own door opening with something behind it, so the Protagonist’s paranoia left me feeling rather unsettled. The ending WAS rather disappointing. Throughout the whole story, it seemed like it was building up to some sort of supernatural climax – like there WAS something in the closet.

    Also – if the protagonist kills themselves/dies at the end, a past-tense first person perspective may not be the best choice as it gives the reader the feeling that the protagonist is telling us the tale of something he survived.

    Other than that, I rather liked this Pasta.

  78. crusherXofXdreams

    Actually i liked it i had to curl my feet under the blanket, but they were right the ending was SO sudden, you could have drug it on a little longer.

    As for all your negative feedback, ignore it! They have no imagination, rarely I find a story on here I read through, and I just visualize in my head whats really happening, maybe if they did that, and opened they imagination to be a child again they would enjoy stories like these.

    Btw your very artichulate, everyone makes mistakes, and none of them are english professors so they can fuck off! Good Job!!!

  79. “He told me to call someone and so I called Fred, he’s a good shit.”

    The best line that I can only remember.
    Seriously, these latest creepypasta have been crap.

  80. yo nigga this shit was alright. the idea was kinda cool, but a fear of doors? thats FUCKING RETARDED. i liked it though, i wished it woulda kept going kuz the ending seemed kinda rushed.

  81. ewww, kinda creepy especially since it makes ya wonder was it really happening or was he so obsessed with the door that it drove him insane?

    the missing sheet and bloody nose make no sense though O.o

  82. it was alright i guess, the ending was a bit too sudden. it had potential, but it just didn’t make the cut.

  83. the story leading up was good, but dissapointed at the end, the part thats supposed to be the best. 4/10 people screwing up the ending for the sake of ending it fast can go die.

  84. I liked the story very much, except for the ending. Usually, I’m not very happy with these driven to insanity/suicide/accidents type.

  85. It was a very good story in my opinion, up until the last paragraph. The buildup was good, the idea good, the execution wonderful, the grammar was nearly flawless, but the ending… it seemed very abrupt and out of place. If it had a better ending I think I would have given it an 8/10. But with the ending, I’d give it a

    5/10.

  86. “I went to sleep, but not after several glances back at the door.”

    This meaning he didn’t look at the door anymore? The wording is wrong.

    “I woke up that morning with a headache. My head pounded like a death metal drum solo. I groaned, it hurt like a son of a bitch.”

    That’s… bad.

    “…feel something warm dampen my hands…There on my pillow and down onto the white sheets was a pool of blood… It was sticky from the dried blood.”

    so the blood is sticky, warm, dry, and wet?

    I stopped about there.

  87. I like how your never sure exactly what it was, although the climax seemed a little sudden and lackluster, the story was well written and suspenseful.

  88. Even if this story were any good, (which I don’t think it is), the writing completely obliterates any chances of it being creepy or interesting. I actually had to force myself to read it all through. The writing is just so… awful.

  89. Dumb. Nicely worded, but dumb. You seem like you have a lot of writing potential in you, but this was a flop…Keep trying though! :)

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