The Army Of The Dead
A laundress, newly moved to Charleston following the Civil War, found herself awakened at the stroke of twelve each night by the rumble of heavy wheels passing in the street. But she lived on a dead end street, and had no explanation for the noise. Her husband would not allow her to look out the window when she heard the sounds, telling her to leave well enough alone.
Finally, she asked the woman who washed at the tub next to hers. The woman said: “What you are hearing is the Army of the Dead. They are Confederate soldiers who died in hospital without knowing that the war was over. Each night, they rise from their graves and go to reinforce Lee in Virginia to strengthen the weakened Southern forces.”
The next night, the laundress slipped out of bed to watch the Army of the Dead pass. She stood spell-bound by the window as a Gray fog rolled passed. Within the fog, she could see the shapes of horses, and could hear gruff human voices and the rumble of canons being dragged through the street, followed by the sound of marching feet. Foot soldiers, horsemen, ambulances, wagons and canons passed before her eyes, all shrouded in Gray. After what seemed like hours, she heard a far off bugle blast, and then silence.
When the laundress came out of her daze, she found one of her arms was paralyzed. She has never done a full days washing since.
Posted in Beings & Entities
June 3rd, 2008 at 8:52 am
that doesnt make much sense, why did her arm get paralized?
June 3rd, 2008 at 7:23 pm
@Cara - Yeah. I didn’t get that part either. Oh well…
June 10th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Seems to be like she got shot in the arm by a ghost bullet.. or something.
June 12th, 2008 at 10:58 am
I dunno, maybe back in the day they had a lack of nutrition that could cause paralisis? Doesn’t really explain why watching the army caused it though…
June 22nd, 2008 at 7:30 pm
Maybe she was paralyzed in an unrelated incident, and the author wanted to confuse readers…
What a douche.
June 24th, 2008 at 11:22 pm
Damn! You ruined the surprise.
July 3rd, 2008 at 4:31 am
Lazy bitch
July 6th, 2008 at 1:38 am
Needs to do more laundry and make more damn sammiches.
July 10th, 2008 at 2:37 pm
Hello.
There was one among you. One Mr. Friedrich Wilhelm Nietszche. He had a way with his words.
A beautiful, curious way. It is possible that he understood. Perhaps his words will help this audience of friendly readers understand the plight of our dear laundress.
“When you look into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you.”
July 10th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
Actually, I think the quote was “When you stare into an abyss, the abyss stares back.”
July 10th, 2008 at 7:19 pm
The Abyss looking into you isnt the same as the Abyss getting off its lazy but and paralyzing the poor girl.
“When you look into the Abyss, the Abyss isnt supposed to wave back at you”
-Terry Pratchet’s Thief of Time.
July 18th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
Some people have their arms paralyzed before a heart attack
July 19th, 2008 at 12:10 am
Actually, I think it was in German and those are all valid translations.
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:56 pm
well when you think about it, the abyss might be able to do stuff when it sees you without having to get up close to you–hence, the army could be the abyss, none of them went up close to her. so yeah…
July 24th, 2008 at 8:26 pm
You know, the sons of Confederate veterans still march in parades around February. Just sayin’.
July 27th, 2008 at 1:30 am
Moral of the story:
Women should stay in the kitchen.
July 28th, 2008 at 12:41 am
@Cara– It was probably the ghosts’ way of warning her not to delve into their business again. Seeing as she is a laundress, half of her work power is now gone (thus her “never [doing] a full days washing since”).
July 30th, 2008 at 6:10 pm
“I quitting washing.”
“What? Why, you’re a great washer.”
“I saw something paranormal, and I haven’t been able to move my arm since.”
“LOL SUCK IT UP BITCH.”
July 31st, 2008 at 4:10 am
Comment 11 makes me giggle. That was one of my favorite Pratchett books.
August 11th, 2008 at 4:25 am
maybe fucking with the ghosts does something
and her husband person knew about that
thats why he was like
you stay in bed like you told woman!
August 12th, 2008 at 12:40 am
ITS CUZ DEM NIGGRAS ATE HER ARM! DAY TOUT IT WAS WATERMELLONNS
August 16th, 2008 at 1:50 am
i think she pretended to be paralyzed so she wouldnt have to do the laundry anymore.
yes, very lazy.
August 17th, 2008 at 7:39 pm
maybe she was a nigra and a ghost shot at her
August 19th, 2008 at 6:28 pm
i thought they gave her a heart attack and she died *lame*
August 20th, 2008 at 9:02 pm
I’ve tryed reading between the lines for the ending to make sence and the only way that it would make sence is if she wakes up from this after having a stroke and can’t move her arm.
God damn I can’t seem to get this. I like it though until it gets to the end.
August 22nd, 2008 at 6:01 am
Its a good story but i dont get the ending.
August 25th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
this reminds me of an episode of twilight zone…except she gave water to the soldiers, i forgot who told her that they were dead…but she saw her husband amongst them…and then he said that she was dead too [sick with something] so then she followed him into the fog…i love twilight zone
August 30th, 2008 at 7:22 pm
That’s what those sons of bitches confederates get.
September 1st, 2008 at 3:58 pm
LOL I think that this one was supposed to be a joke.
September 2nd, 2008 at 12:48 am
IT GOTS PARARARARARAALIZED FROM BEATING ME OFF
September 5th, 2008 at 7:16 pm
Hello, thar!
It’s-a me, Friedrich.
Actually I’m german and teh original quote is “Wer mit Ungeheuern kämpft, mag zusehn, dass er nicht dabei zum Ungeheuer wird. Und wenn du lange in einen Abgrund blickst, blickt der Abgrund auch in dich hinein.”.
So feel free to fuck up my wisdom with your underprivileged translations.
kthxbai
September 5th, 2008 at 10:49 pm
“I is no can do teh laundry no more, k?”
“lol, y is you no can do dat?”
“kk, i was watch ghost an dey make me arms no moar work!”
“LOL! STUPID STORY!”
September 7th, 2008 at 6:52 am
In Soviet Russia, abyss watches YOU!!
September 26th, 2008 at 5:58 pm
OMG I THINK I GET IT! she was watchin the army of the dead so it made her arms dead!! right?
September 29th, 2008 at 10:05 am
THEN WHO WAS REPLACEMENT LAUNDRESS!?