• koray

    this reminds me of myself this kinda happend to me today but without the gory stuff

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +1 (from 19 votes)
    • AssHat

      You got stuck in a car with a grievously injured boy asking you to love him?

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +51 (from 51 votes)
      • Riley

        That happens to me on a daily basis.

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: +27 (from 31 votes)
        • Yo Mama So Fat…

          At first I kinda believed that this story would end with a cute, romantic ending (I forgot that this is f***ing CreepyPasta.com), so I kept reading it, and then the end just made me sad…

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +20 (from 22 votes)
        • http://www.wattpad.com/user/MadeInWicklow Cian ( Wick )

          So you didn’t like it?? :(

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +7 (from 7 votes)
        • ThatOneTotallyAwesomeGirl

          Me too :( it was a good story nevertheless, but I was kinda bummed out at the end.

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)
  • OReally???

    Nooooooo

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +1 (from 5 votes)
  • lilwolf

    how cute!!

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -1 (from 9 votes)
  • endercreep

    very sweet of him to hold on like that, i fear strangleing my love XD

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +13 (from 17 votes)
  • Squidward

    Sounds like overly attached girlfriend.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +17 (from 19 votes)
    • PAPUCHA

      *boyfriend
      And he was insane, because obviously the girl barely knew him, and he wasn’t even her boyfriend. Fuck.

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +3 (from 5 votes)
  • http://Mikes-revenge.net Star_Tribe_Rep

    OMG THAT WAS FREAKY. Nice pasta dude, had that creepy effect and made me jump from my seat. It was a little simple though, and could have used more detail. The story kinda made no sense, why would he kill her? I give it 8/10

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +1 (from 5 votes)
    • ght

      Because she didn’t love him :I

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +7 (from 7 votes)
  • DooM_Bunny

    An overall tasty pasta, very well wirtten, with some spelling mistakes, but you’re on the right track as far as story telling goes. Keep up the good work, hope to see more from you !

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)
  • Anonymous

    If the girl died and the boy was never seen again how can anyone know the details of this story?

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +2 (from 10 votes)
    • Name

      Its a story bro.

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +5 (from 5 votes)
  • IDK

    I found this adorable… And I don’t know why. •_•

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +3 (from 5 votes)
  • Freaky Fred

    I thought this was REALLY BAD. The whole obsession thing has been done, and this was done without any decent details. Why does he jump in front of the car? Why does he strangle the chick? Is there something about him that makes him immune from dying in the car crash? Sense is not made.

    No, I’d like to send this pasta back.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -6 (from 16 votes)
    • http://www.wattpad.com/user/MadeInWicklow Cian ( Wick )

      No1 cares.

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +6 (from 10 votes)
    • LHSS

      I agree with you, Freaky Fred. This was kind of bad. I’m not sure why it has a 7/10. :S

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: -2 (from 4 votes)
  • http://www.wattpad.com/user/MadeInWicklow Cian ( Wick )

    Hi,
    I am one of the creators of this story, me and my friend did it! :D

    I actually edited this story a bit after we wrote it and posted it to another writing site which I am on! :D

    To read the newer version, and more of my work, here are some links:

    The edited, improved version of this story:
    http://www.wattpad.com/6647872-short-stories

    My profile with all my other stories:
    http://www.wattpad.com/user/MadeInWicklow

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +9 (from 13 votes)
    • MotherOfDragons

      Well whilst you are here…
      1.The story is cliché and has been done to death. Hardly ever successfully and definitely not in such a short (tiny in fact) pasta.
      2. No one cared or even slightly identified with the characters as they were under-developed probably due to the fact that…
      3. The story seemed rushed as if hashed out in an hour or so. You may be able to imagine their personalities and life etc but you need to put that on paper for anyone to feel as enthused about your story as you seem to be.
      4. You don’t seem to have a wide vocabulary as you use words I assume you think seem “smarter” in places they don’t really fit or aren’t really needed.
      5. Certain words (“Eager”, “Grin” etc) you repeatedly use. Worst of all you put them all within sentences of each other which I found made it difficult to read as I stuttered over this.

      Besides these points.
      Good first try, maybe go back and re-write it, y’know proof read it before you submit. Not the worst pasta I have read on here but in no way do you slightly deserve your 7.4 rating… unless you are 12, in which case, GOLD STAR kid!

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: 0 (from 2 votes)
  • Jerome

    Dis won didnent evn hit da spot mane it woz two fony bombaclot

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -9 (from 9 votes)
  • Miss Misanthrope

    I thought this was brilliant, actually. I did see some spelling errors, along with some punctuation errors, but nothing too bad. I liked the obsessiveness of the guy in the story; it really adds a creep factor. Good job!

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +5 (from 7 votes)
  • Gothic Doll

    I really loved this story (‘:
    I’m sorry of the girl that didn’t told him that she loved him

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +2 (from 6 votes)
  • lemons

    *shudders* good thing no one likes me..

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +5 (from 5 votes)
  • Kitten

    sounds like my ex :P

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +1 (from 3 votes)
  • LHSS

    “He asks with a grin, as blood trickles from his deathly grin”

    -_-

    I’m sorry, but this was just bad. Poor grammar, spelling and sentence structure pulled me straight out of the story. Plus, there were far too many questions left unanswered.

    Who are these people? How was he able to stand and move despite his clearly horrific injuries? Why didn’t she flip the heck out when she hit someone? Why did she think he was dead when he was clearly moving (twitching body)? How did this boy survive when he was hit by a car AND THEN in a horrific crash that should have killed everyone in the car?

    I’m going to stop there for now. You have potential, and an interesting, albeit not to original, idea. Maybe if this was more fleshed out… It would deserve the 7/10.

    For now, I gave it a 3/10. You tried.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 4 votes)
  • Insanity

    I actually think this is cute ._.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  • beff

    this was really good:)

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  • Mr. Crow

    Moral of the story:
    Girls can’t say ‘I love you’ honestly to save their life.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +1 (from 3 votes)
  • Demon_dancer

    Okay then…….. I hope no one does that to me. Or I hope I don’t do that to my crush

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  • Demon_dancer

    Okay then…….. I hope no one does that to me. Or I hope I don’t do that to my crush. Heh heh, maybe

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  • http://creepypasta MRS.CANDLEJACK

    I liked thos story and actually found it quite interesting.
    BUT..why would he just jump in fron of her car? I understand that he was probably a phycopath with serious issues, but really? If I were the girl I would have just told him I loved him and totally ditched him at the hospital, unless he was actually a decent guy.
    All I got from this story was that the guy was a phycopathic stalker who fell under obsession or “love” with some girl that clearly doesnt know how to brake on a car, and beat the living crap out of a badly damaged teenge boy.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 2 votes)
  • http://creepypasta MRS.CANDLEJACK

    Sorry, but I really dont understand how hard it is to push on the brake pedle and punch the guy in the face. Sure she was prob surprised or shocked, but if it were me I would have gone into complete beast mode :P

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -1 (from 1 vote)
  • Thatreallygoodlookingkid

    This was a sad story
    The boy should
    Of died and the girl should of exploded in the car crash.then it would of been a happy story

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
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