Sunday, Day 1: Hey, Night Crawlers! Fuck, Eddie and I missed you guys! Today is Day One of the “sorry I left you hanging again” marathon. The Feds and I have differing opinions regarding the channel’s effect on Turner. I believe crazy is crazy; they believe it fuels her psychosis. […]
Yesterday… …And we’re back in five… four… three… two… one… [talk-show host] Greg, tell us your thoughts about the movie; the release is only three days after the anniversary of your wife’s death. How are you coping? Do you plan to go see it? I’m not here to talk about
Now… I hope all my Night Crawlers feel as good as I do this evening! The fact we have 317 people in the chat is mind boggling enough, but if you would’ve told me we’d eventually hit 10k subs – even a year ago – I wouldn’t have believed it!
Now… Gooood evening, Night Crawlers! I still can’t believe we have over a hundred people in our streams now! Lady, Lore, Disco, Q, Livers, all my original crew – can you guys believe this? While I’m touched you aren’t surprised, you have to admit it happened fast! I hate to
January 11, 2022 [tap, tap] Hello, um, [clears throat] hey Night Crawlers… if I can still call you that. So, listen, it’s January 11, 2022, and… I know it’s been a while since you heard from me… I’m honestly surprised any of you are here… but if you’ll let me,
I had this co-worker a few years ago, Matt, who became obsessed with fame, or rather, the idea of becoming famous. He was too lazy to pursue anything original in the creative arts field but figured fame would just come to him one day, like a dog scratching at his
The Dangers of Instagram Fame Read More »
So… I stole a laptop from an internet cafe. Judge me all you want, but times are tough and that’s hardly the point of what I’m about to tell you anyway. Apparently the owner of it was quite adept at navigating the deep web, because a Tor browser page was
Just the concept alone was enough to draw me in. “An internet underneath the internet. The dark web,” is how my old friend Kyle described it to me. It wouldn’t be until he gave me a list of links that I would truly understand just why people referred
If you’re reading this, then I assume you know all about Snapchat’s “Psychic Knock Game.” If not, you can click HERE to get caught up. N̴o̸n̷e̷ ̶o̵f̴ ̷u̴s̷ ̵r̸e̶a̵l̷i̵z̶e̸d̴ ̵w̴h̷a̴t̵ ̶w̷e̸ ̵w̴e̶r̴e̷ ̶g̷e̸t̸t̷i̷n̴g̷ ̷i̵n̸t̵o̶.̶ ̵D̸a̸v̵i̴d̴ ̷i̸s̸ ̸t̵h̵e̶ ̸o̵n̴e̶ ̸w̵h̵o̷ ̴c̶l̵i̵c̸k̴e̶d̶ ̷o̷n̵ ̸t̶h̵e̵ ̶p̴o̶s̷t̴ ̵a̴n̶d̶ ̸d̵e̷c̴i̴d̸e̸d̷ ̴w̵e̸ ̸s̶h̴o̷u̴l̷d̸ ̷p̶l̷a̷y̷.̵
Don’t Play the Psychic Knock Game Read More »
That idiot Josh started this. He found this Snapchat user named callme_469 (click here for a pic of their snapcode). Rumor had it that the account belonged to a hot girl, so Josh thought he could flirt with her, I guess. Despite the suggestive name, Josh was misguided;
The Psychic Knock Game Read More »
My first love was Misty from Pokémon. Those legs, that sass, she was absolutely perfect. No one else could ever compare. When I played the games, I’d hang around her gym and pretend that we were on a date. I built my team to be strong against her weaknesses so I could always protect her. I used to fantasize that she’d become intrigued by me when I had beaten her. That she’d become obsessed and fallen head over heels in love with me. It was just a silly fantasy, but I enjoyed it when I was younger.
I lost my laptop for a few days, and after a thorough search of my apartment, I retraced my steps to an internet café called Trista’s that I occasionally visit. I could have sworn I remembered having it after leaving Trista’s, and I knew it was a long shot, but I
I’d never been inside of one before. An awkward, out-of-place-feeling little room nuzzled between a failing Irish pub and an antiques shop, I’d honestly forgotten these things existed in the vast metro area of my city. Until I needed one. College essay, see, and I hadn’t even begun it – just my luck for my laptop to obnoxiously die the weekend before the paper was due. I tried to borrow a friend’s computer, but no dice; as for plan B, my school’s library was out of rentable laptops. To the local, seedy internet café I went then, where I had always been told the poverty-stricken perverts surfed for porn and the seemingly parent-less children crowded around online games.
They Like To Play Games Read More »
My local internet cafe is not much of a sight to behold. I think that’s what may have contributed to it shutting down for a couple of months back in June. The exterior was reminiscent of an abandoned shack with its dilapidated appearance and broken windows. However, after they cleaned
I Found a Laptop Connected to the Deep Web Read More »
VOODOO DOLL, HIGHLY EFFECTIVE, BRAND NEW! 100% cotton, hand-crafted voodoo doll for all your vengeful needs! NO CRAFTING NECESSARY – just write your target’s name across the chest. No sewing, cutting, or gluing! Warning: Do NOT use this doll to kill or severely injure. The Magical Arts Voodoo Doll™ is
I Bought a Voodoo Doll on Ebay Read More »
“THEY’RE NOT COMING, THEY’RE ALREADY HERE.” That’s all the email said. No subject, no name, and the email account was clearly a junk or throwaway account linked to AOL mail. At first, I laughed at the ridiculously serious message, not paying it much thought. I used to sign up for
They’re Not Coming, They’re Already Here Read More »
Henry had gone missing in Mexico weeks ago, and Lois kept getting these bizarre letters in the mail. She had assumed the first four envelopes she’d received in the first four days of the month afterward were to the wrong address or a mistake. However, the fifth envelope contained a
Has anyone else seen the post yet? The guy messages someone whose phone number is identical to his apart from the last digit, which is either one number up or down. I scrolled past it like any other post you see on the internet, gave it a quick chuckle and
Never Meet your Number Neighbor Read More »
It’s been three days since I last used an app called Forbidden Fruits and I’ve become weak to the point to where I can hardly stand for over five minutes. I’m coughing up blood, and I know that I have no choice but to open this goddamn app and make a new
An App Called Forbidden Fruits Gave Me More Than Good Food Read More »
I am one of the biggest streamers on Twitch. I play games spanning all genres, and my streams consistently get over 20,000 viewers. I love what I do. It has taken me many years to get to where I am today, and not a day goes by that I
“I do not want to live without my cheese slicer.” “The cats are wearing shoes.” “The vegetables do not like vegetarians.” Sometimes, Duolingo, my smartphone language app, comes up with strange sentences. It always made me laugh. But, lately, there’s been a weird glitch with the app. I’ve been refreshing
My name is Jim. I’ve been in and out of construction contracts for the last seventeen years. Between those contracts, I do what I can to make a few extra bucks, since you never really know when the next contract will show up and unemployment pays you just enough to
I Drive for Cerber Read More »
I had just finished another level of my favorite game app when the usual ad popped up. I know the companies that design these games need to make money somehow, but the frequent ads get annoying really fast. The only good thing about most of them is how short they
Don’t Install the Hangman App Read More »
Have you ever seen a photo reCAPTCHA? Instead of a checkbox, it’s a low-quality photo split into 16 square sections. It’ll say something like: “SELECT ALL SQUARES WITH STREET SIGNS,” and you have to click every square that contains a street sign. At 11 PM on Sunday night, I got one while
The reCAPTCHA Was Wrong Read More »
