Scary Paranormal Stories & Short Horror Microfiction

Creepypasta

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We’ve all been there. You have just gone to a certain place, at a certain time on a certain date, done a special thing and the thing you suspected would happen has just fucking happened, not to mention the fact that you’ve just seen whatever the fuck it is that lives in your mirror, been told in detail how you’re going to die, and the highly demonic and invincible thing you summoned is heading towards you.
Also, your family are all dead, your friends are all missing and you’re being framed by someone with access to your bedroom. What the fuck do you do now, sweet protagonist?

Well, you’ve come to the right place to find out: These are the simple rules one must follow in order to firstly, not become the victim of creepypasta and furthermore, to come out kicking if the worst does happen. With the help of this guide you too can be the catatonic, traumatised wreck as opposed to the guy currently being worn as a coat by some dude who roams a lot. Just keep these simple rules in mind…

1. Mirrors and darkness don’t mix.
2. Actually mirrors are a general “NO”, in creepypasta world, there is nothing more sinister.
3. There is zero chance of survival if you look the thing that no one else can see or answer it’s question incorrectly.
4. If you are alone at night in a creepy mental institution,take some time to consider what the fuck are you doing there, then, if it is appropriate to do so, leave.
5. Avoid going to places where everyone else who went there never came back or died inexplicably.
6. If someone stops your vehicle at night and asks to come with you, it would probably be in your best interests to politely decline.
7. Killing is the last method of survival, use it sparingly but without fear.
8. WHO WAS PHONE is always a good thing to ponder. Also who the hell answers a phone while kissing a dead persons sexy daughter. A douche is who.
9. Get a simple .38 revolver. Load it with 2 silver bullets. If you really feel there is no chance to come alive out of a situation, take one shot at whatever’s threatening you. If this doesn’t work, you still have the last shot to become an hero with.
10. Area 51 is simply too well guarded to let you get in. Or to let any alien out.
11. When going to a hotel, try to steer clear of unauthorized areas. If you couldn’t resist but you saw a red thing, take some time to consider the price range and hotel standard on your next visit. Have you ever stayed at a haunted Hilton?
12. When booking your hotel stay, Trip Advisor can be an invaluable tool in deeming whether your choice is the scene of a multiple murder/full of dead people/built at the mouth of hell. Local newspapers can also be helpful.
13. Invoking demons, speaking weird languages and performing rituals of any kind is considered dangerous. Refrain from doing that, especially around Abandoned Warehouses, Churches, Psychiatric Institutions, Forests and your house in front of a mirror at night.
14. When going to a new area, environmental understanding is a key to survival. Ask around for cursed places, legends, dangers and other details. Listen to the local peoples’ advice, and don’t be afraid to ask if you’re unsure of which attacks/disappearances are paranormal and which aren’t.
15. Always have a Bible next to your bed. Provides average reading material, proof of beliefs and a really heavy object to throw at enemies.
16. Don’t count on Holy Water. Get a sturdy vial of Sulfuric Acid and let a priest Consecrate it.
17. Japanese priests cleanse rooms by waving katana swords around. Their ritual is 100% effective on corporeal forms.
18. If you find 666 messages on your phone, mailbox, email, etc consider changing the said service provider. Also don’t bother listening /reading the messages. It’s spam. Extra dimensional, possibly, but spam nevertheless.
19. Old pharmaceutical companies cant help you. Unless you specifically need “Blood Of The Innocent”, ”Snake Oil”, and “Radioactive Syrup”. Which is never.
20. If you need to sign it in blood, you do not need to sign it. All mainstream governing bodies will accept contracts signed in ink, bear this in mind if offered deals that seem too good to be true.
21. Lighthouses are dangerous. Avoid them at all costs. If you work at a Lighthouse consider a career in Insurance Sales, or Veterinary Care.
22. There is simply no reason to listen to music that causes suicidal tendencies, or to watch films that have had strange/disastrous consequences..
23. If you like to plan ahead and have some money, buy your auntie and uncle a house in Bel-Air. Nothing can harm you there no matter how scared your mother is.
24. Secret secluded untouched places in old buildings are left untouched for a reason. Pioneers never say “die” but in fact they do have an unusually high mortality rate.
25. Before you start swimming in the ice-cold waters of a murky lake at the center of a dark forest at midnight, ask yourself, do you really want to travel to an ancient and terrifying city? If the answer is “no,” then stay at home instead, and watch whatever quality programming is available on Cinemax.
26. On your 33rd birthday try celebrating in a well lit house with the company of others.
27. Refrain from using the One True Name for anything, there is probably a reason people gave it a nick.
28. Watching TV static for long periods may be hazardous to your health, try satelite TV to combat this problem.
29. Get a cat. Those furry little hairballs seem to perceive unnatural phenomena better than us, and if desperate, simply throw it at whatever is about to get you.
30. Cemeteries are bad places, especially in foggy conditions and on halloween.
31. Try not to close your eyes, ever. If you must, do so only briefly.
32. If you hear chanting, run until you are out of earshot.
33. If you are too old to play with dolls, you do not need to be anywhere near one of the creepy little fuckers.
34. Legends can offer valuable insight of where not to go camping with friends.
35. When babysitting, ascertain the family’s tastes and preferences, to avoid being killed by poorly selected statues.
36. Even if you are certain that running will not save you, it is always best to try.

Follow these simple rules and little (or massive) harm may befall you. Either way, the important thing is to make sure your tale is told, copied, and pasted repeatedly.

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Rating: 9.3/10 (2989 votes cast)
Survival Guide, 9.3 out of 10 based on 2989 ratings
  • Greg

    What a bunch of skittish nuts.

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  • http://hotmail.co.uk Beyond Birthday

    who is "the one true one"?

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  • No Mirrors!

    Number 33 was my favorite!

    33. If you are too old to play with dolls, you do not need to be anywhere near one of the creepy little fuckers.

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  • lipazzaner

    this is one of my favorite creepypastas

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  • WolfOfNight

    Wonderful! I loved it.

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  • jackal

    hahahaha i loved it… im going to do exactly what it said not to do! XD

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  • Koffenabzüglichzeichenerklügen

    I found the part where you throw the bible quite offensive, you keep a bible if you actually are Christian or are stumbling into becoming one. In any case please do not post blasphemous literacy on a forum that accociats itself with the devil. ( yes I just said I’m christian, I come here for actual scary story’s though)

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    • http://www.creepypasta.com derpbutt

      I’m not even sure how to “accociat” with the devil.

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      • http://www.creepypasta.com derpbutt

        I also don’t know how to post blasphemous literacy.

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        • http://www.creepypasta.com derpbutt

          Also, lose the persecution complex. You’re going to get made fun of for that comment for sure, but not because you’re a Christian.

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        • Koffenabzuglichzeichenerklugen

          Well if you are not “acciated” with the devil then why mention to use the bible for safety. Second blasphemes literacy, you where misusing a holy relic of my religion in saying that you could throw it. And just to note I don’t mean to sound like a freak, just a little offended and I don;t care if I get made fun of for being. Christian one day when the one who laughed at me are burning with the devil. I’ll laugh at them. But what other comment are you referring to please.

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        • Koffenabzuglichzeichenerklugen

          Please ignore spelling errs Was in a hurry.

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        • bluething

          you’re going to laugh at people burning in hell?

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          Rating: +3 (from 3 votes)
        • Correcter

          No, we laugh at them if they accuse our religion.

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          Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
        • Caselesskey

          It’s still me, my names just translated now. I understand, but what am I getting made fun of for?

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        • Caselessky

          What are you saying? I really don’t care what I’m made fun of for. But the story and almost half of the forum has stories that associate’s with some thing close to the devil ( example why say you need to carry a bible unless a demon attacks?) In any case I was just a little offended by the “Throw the bible” part Nothing I wanted to cause a fuss over.

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        • Illuminaught

          That’s kinda really dumb, I mean if I was the almighty God, I would be pretty fucking proud if the book about me got lobbed at a nasty creature and saved one of my beloved children. Sacred book or not, if it’s being used to save you from evil and blunt force is the only way you can do it, I’m fairly sure God will forgive you. If he doesn’t, he’s a bit of an asshole…

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        • caselesskey

          It’s a somewhat 1,000 paged paper book with a lether cover. And waighsat least one mabye two ounces. So I doubt it would do you any good when you throw it,and god I’m pretty sure only lets the righteous kill demons. P.s Demons do hat the bible but that doesn’t mean that there not ‘Immune’ or whatever the heck athist think we belive You can get even better esults with just lunging at the creature and ripping it limb from limb.

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        • Elise

          If you’re offended by Satanic things and by people making fun of the bible, you’re on the wrong site.

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          Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)
        • Correcter

          He wasn’t offended he was trolled badly by a retarded friend or whatever.

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    • SlendersKiller23

      Caseless! it’s me, proof PROTECT ME CONE!!! Mr. Derpbutt? um, any way I’m sorry about my friend me and him live in a strict christian neighborhood. And he’s been coming to creepypasta for a while now and usually doesn’t make such a big annoyance of himself. I’m christian as well but I really didn’t care, sorry Mr derpbutt caselesskey in real life has aspurgers syndrome and sometimes doesn’t understand the difference between sarcazam and reallity. P.s to make sure this ends post quack to assure that this is over.

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      • caselesskey

        STRICT CHRISTIAN NEIGHBORHOOD!!! does someone have memory loss?! because the last time i checked we live two blocks away from the frigging Russian mafia! P.s most of those post were not me it was… well you know. and I’m aspurgers syndrome person yes not a mental restarted person. QUACK!!

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      • Slenderskiller23

        Mickey I know that’s you stop signing in as caseless and acting like some retard. I mean yes hes a little nuts in real life but seriously did you have to do that. and sign in as something else your confusing everyone including me.

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    • KillMeMaybe

      Actually, you never said you were Christian. You implied it. Really though, there’s no point implying something if you’re going to turn around and say “Oh hey, for everyone having a tough time keeping up, I am a Christian. One who worships Christ. You know – Jesus. He’s a pretty famous guy.”

      I’m sorry, I don’t mean to poke fun. In future though, you might want to refrain from reading anything other than the Bible, and maybe a collection of fairy tales. Always consult a friend or family member knowledgeable on this topic, as should you be exposed to something written by someone with / involving beliefs which differ even slightly from your own, you would surely burst into flames and burn until nothing remains of you but a small pile of ashes. Then Satan would probably snort them with a line of coke or something. You know what a crazy guy he is.

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      • Caselesskey

        I was pretty surprised when he responded, and I have a strange but false way of sounding like some out raged freak when saying something on the internet. And I really did not expect this all to start I mean I love the forum don’t get me wrong its great. I love the unheimlich setting and all the former post were not me some idiot friends were typing in as me and posting most of the reply’s. That’s one reason why the post mostly didn’t make sense , I am a christian yes and I am proud to say I am. But I was honestly not the one going all ballistic and arguing with derp. Any way, I plan on making a story in fact its based on the ww2 Nazi training base called Baumholder its now a U,S army post and where I live. Sorry everyone.

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        • Somethingelse

          U MAD?!

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        • SlendersKiller23

          Ok it was me who posted this. In case your wondering why everything me and caselss seems to type is a little frantic it’s because me and case are in school and going on almost every period. So dose mickey but he usually goes to some gaming site.

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  • Iamwritergirl

    Can someone KINDLY explain number 23?

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    • http://creepypasta.com tytiger10

      Go to parody pasta and read The prince’s fresh start and you’ll get then

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  • Leah

    This was a truly delicious pasta! My favorites, without a doubt, were numbers 29 and 33. You, good author, are preaching to the choir. Twas awazing!

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  • who is me

    33 If you are too old to play with dolls, you do not need to be anywhere near one of the creepy little fuckers.
    follow this rule up!! if you don’t you are going to get insomnia for the rest of your if it strangely disappears at night!

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  • http://www.yahoo.com Joseph

    OK so yes these are things tht you can necessarily do but what if your in the situation tht your in the middle of no where literly like slender-man game except tht there is nothing but him what do you do thts wht you should think of :)

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  • Harlequin

    There is one rule that isn’t here. Listen to your children. They are more sensitive to paranormal activity and what might sound like an over active imagination will have a bit of truth to it.

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  • The Rake

    Thanks for ruining what I do for a living…

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  • The Rake

    This wasnt realy a story acually :L

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  • zemike

    Why .38?? Get a .500 S&w and blast the bloody thing clean off.

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  • Dameria

    Lmao . Im not throwing my cat at anybody , I shall save that hairy little fucker !!!!!

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  • Nemo

    I died laughing at WHO WAS PHONE

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  • http://none Mel

    It was ok. Kind of got boring to read after a while.

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  • Spitfire

    Lol the one about the bible was hilarious

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  • Theterrible

    Awesome:)

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  • Jhe

    BUT WHO WAS DOUCHE?

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  • Kevin

    I’m sorry candle jack I exadently pressed the dislike button :( but it is a thumbs up:)

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  • Jenny

    Don’t forget that if your kid is scared of his room, closet, under the bed, outside his window, etc… you should take him a little more seriously.

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  • Lurker

    4 and 21 rocked.

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  • The houses

    I am so glad to have to cats, one is smart but afraid of everything and everyone, and one so dumb it goes to the door when the doorbell rings.

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