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Still Closed



Estimated reading time — 3 minutes

A quiet wood cabin sits alone in the dark wood trees of Ashen Park. The building itself is elevated in four trees of immense age. Deep scarlet splatters the frozen-over grass; for as long as the forest evades the warmth of human breath, it will remain winter.

None with a beating heart or pumping blood ever dare wander here. Those with their mortal souls still clinging to their frail bodies do not dare meander over the thick, dark roots. The large trees rock and sway, attempting to defy the ever-whistling wind – only to make it faster, stronger. No mammal, reptilian, or creature of the night dashes under the dark canopy. The ever-frozen creek reeks of death, the scent tainting your nose and mind forever.

If it is you, you who dares step cautiously over the boundary into Ashen Park, beware. Because to this day the only feet that crunch the grass are skinless and have never met the light of the Sun. If it is you, you who let your heart beat faster as the dark canopy devours you, beware. Instantly your soul will be split and your mind corrupted. Nothing else will matter you you more than finding your thoughts and the way out – both things that are lost as long as you will be. The rambling prayers that spilled out of your mouth upon entering are forgotten. And all the fear in the world churns around in both your stomach and your heard.

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You can walk in, if you please. You can taste death all around you. You can hear the moans of what you sincerely hope are the rocking trees. You can feel the dead leaves that crunch under your feet, and you can feel the low temperature condensing your body. You can keep your face to the ground, avoiding the chilling bodies that hang from the trees and the faces that seem to form themselves out of the fog. But eventually, being the hopelessly curious mortal you are, you will tilt you head up and widen your eyes. You will look into the emotionless face of not only terror, but feat. You will smell the rotting dreams and the taste of poison on your tongue. And the small unnamed beasties whose homes dot the frozen floor will clamber out and snatch you. And then it will continue.

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The tale is also very true for those who live near to Ashen Park. At night the beasties do crawl out, and when no mortal chooses that time to wander in, they do the job themselves. They infest both your physical and mental state with the ease of, say, opening a door. Possibly your door, if you’re foolish enough to choose an abode so close the park. They will seep into your walls and open the bedroom door you use as a barrier between life and death. So little protection for those living so near to their own demise. And so little time to realize that, when they drag your screaming, desperate body into Ashen Park you will face more than the creature that so mercilessly places all the bodies there. You will face agony beyond your greatest embarrassment or pain. They will drag you to the cabin, not caring about the slits you’re gathering in your skin from the roots, or the bruises you are acquiring with ease. They’ll throw you up the frozen ladder and you’ll be too cold, too weak to move. Only moan and scream. They will leave you up there, hissing at your pitiful wails and laughing in delight as you close your eyes in defiance. Which, in fact, I strongly recommend.

And when you think all is quiet. When your mind believes it was only a dream and that you can hear the flapping of birds wings outside, you may open your eyes. And the eyeless face of my brother will face you. Every thought you’ve ever had will race through your head. Then maybe, just maybe, you’ll turn your head to the right. And you’ll see my cold body curled up on the dead wood ground. My eyes are still closed. Are yours?

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Credit To – Tinqer

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14 thoughts on “Still Closed”

  1. When I see a pasta with six stars, I assume it will be horrible. I usually skip them. I didn’t skip this one.

    I may be the only one here who actually enjoyed this pasta. I thought it was a fantastic creation of the definition of imagination.

    Perhaps its because when I read this, my mind creates its own little dimension through the words laid on this particular pasta. The words were descriptive, and while the pasta itself did not create a story like it could have done, it was still wonderful to read.

    Yes, there were grammatical errors, but there were far apart and not common. Not many pastas have perfect grammar. It’s kind of hard to catch every slip up.

    I enjoyed the way the author executed this pasta, even though it is more of a description of a place than a certain story.

    Only thing I say, is ‘Still Closed’ doesn’t fit the pasta.

    All in All, I’d give this story between n 7.5-8.0 Rating, for effort and just for an entertaining piece of imagination.

    Good Luck, Keep Writing, And keep passing on the pastas.

  2. You should focus more on writing a good story line as opposed to thinking of as many adjectives as possible. Descriptive pasta’s are great but you used so many it was annoying and made it hard to actually follow the vague story.

  3. Wasn’t completely terrible. Also wasn’t even remotely worth reading. It did however have an interesting idea, just needed a hell of a lot more elaboration. I wouldn’t condemn it to crappypasta though lol

  4. “No mammal, reptilian, or creature of the night dashes under the dark canopy” “small unnamed beasties whose homes dot the frozen floor will clamber out and snatch you” they contradict each other. If I’m wrong please explain :3

  5. This was pretty good, at first I thought the title referred to the cabin itself, but the ending connected itself pretty well. I for one, actually like how not everything was explained, to borrow a quote from Gideon Oliver “The snake bites it’s tail, but this time it doesn’t disappear.”
    Very well done.

  6. Too vague for my tastes, and apparently not even the story knows where it’s going. The beginning and the ending aren’t bad actually, but they are really disjointed from each other.

  7. I liked that! Not all stories have to have endings that are fully explained,and even though it never was explained, I really enjoyed it.

  8. I really don’t understand what is going on here. I can tell by reading this that the author is a fan of the word mortal and thinks a random eyeless jack is fun way to make a story scary.
    The entire pasta seemed disjointed, and the overuse of “if you dare” type writing really kept me from enjoying any bit of the story (was there a story?). Writing in second person was a cute idea but did not do you any favors.

    At the end of the day I have to say that this pasta had a pretty crappy concept, bad execution, and really awful characters (2nd person, random eyeless brother, “skinless feet”). You tried, but I agree with “creeper slayer”. This should have landed in crappypasta.

  9. I liked this. Wasn’t terribly creepy and the few grammatical errors were in really bad spots, and detracted from the story, but overall I really enjoyed reading this. It was almost like an un-rhyming poem that simply described this horrible place and some vague descriptions about the horrible things that happen there, and I dug the ending. This piece won’t be for everybody, but thete will be others like me who loved it. Kudos to the writer. 7/10. Woulda been 8 or 9 if proofread and edited better. Keep reading and writing!

  10. Awwww man I thought it was going to be one of those crappy abandoned by Disney ones only to find out that its this haunted woods with unknown creatures and unknown history about the park this was terrible and it should be on crappypasta.com

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