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Spot



Estimated reading time — 5 minutes

I’ve noticed a spot forming on the dining area wall in my apartment. I figure I should call someone about it, but I’ll have to worry about it later. I gotta concentrate on the work load I have waiting for me back at the office. I don’t have time to call and make appointments about some weird black spot.

My work day is as busy as I figured it would be. There’s just a lot to get done with my deadline creeping up at the beginning of next week. At lunch I mentioned that spot on my wall to one of my co-workers. He told me that a mixture of water and bleach should clear it right up. If I can get home and clear that up tonight, that would be one issue off my mind. I’ll try to remember that water and bleach thing when I get home.

Finally made it home. I had to stay late to complete phase one of my work load so I can stay on schedule. Time to try that mixture on my wall, though I’m not too clear on how much bleach to use. As long as that spot goes away, I think I’ll be fine. I guess I’ll just use an old kitchen rag to clean that spot before I cook myself some dinner and go to bed.

Another day another dollar. Good news, that spot is gone, but I have noticed a weird smell… Maybe I used too much bleach, I dunno. The smell should be gone by the time I get home. Time for some scrambled eggs, toast and coffee and see what’s on the news. Bad news, it seems that there’s another missing person with no clues at this point. I guess I’ll keep an eye out.

Work was just another rat race for this guy. All this work will make that cheese taste all that much better. I hope I get finished this Friday so I can enjoy a stress free weekend. Okay, there’s definitely something wrong with that mixture I used ’cause that smell is still here. I’ll give it another day, but if it doesn’t get any better I’ll definitely have to call someone. In the meantime, I’d better get some rest.

Well, it’s the next day and I think that smell is still sorta here. Maybe I’m used to it. Well, no time for that now. I think I’ll be able to finish my work load and get ready for an awesome weekend. I’ll just go ahead and make a few phone calls during lunch to get someone over to my apartment to inspect my wall and that smell.

Okay, I scheduled someone to come over Friday afternoon, tomorrow, to inspect my wall. I’ll be able to finish my job assignment in the morning and I at least have a good reason to get off work a little early. Sounds pretty good to me. Sounds like I’ll just have to spend one more night in a smelly apartment before I can let loose this weekend. My assignment is pretty much in the bag so I think I’ll get off work a few minutes early to try and beat the traffic and get some well deserved rest.

I decided to pick up some dinner on my way home from work so I don’t have to cook in that smelly kitchen. I think I’ll eat in my bedroom tonight with the door closed and seal it up the best I can. As I walk into my apartment, that smell hit’s me in the face causing me to cough and gag. Thinking fast I open a few windows and crank up my A/C to air out my apartment.

Once I feel like I can breath again, I venture into the dining area… That spot is back and bigger than ever. It also appears to be leaking some sort of dark fluid. As I get closer I have to shield my nose and mouth from the thick odor with my coat sleeve. Oh God, I can still sort of taste it. My mouth begins to salivate in preparation for any vomiting that I may do.

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Forget waiting until tomorrow, I need someone to take care of this now. As I inch my way closer I call up the maintenance person I had scheduled. After a few rings he answers and I quickly tell him the problem I had has gotten worse and can’t wait till tomorrow. I give him a quick run down and he assures me that he’s only a short drive away and he’ll be around in a few minutes. I hang up and at this point I’m right next to the wall and my eyes begin to water.

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As I stare at the spot with squinting tear filled eyes I notice something. Something small and white poking out of the black spot. With my free hand I grab a napkin off the table and wipe the small protrusion. As I do some of the black spot around the area falls away. Startled I step back and notice the napkin has been stained red. I look back at the newly formed hole on the black spot.

At this point I have a gut wrenching realization. That sharp, white protrusion… is that a broken piece of bone? With my mind overcome with shock and dumb curiosity, I nudge at the hole with my foot. As the rest of the black spot begins to crumble away my mind flashes with thoughts… I’ve noticed a spot…worry about it later…a lot to get done… water and bleach… spot gone… smell…Bad news it seems… another missing person…rat race… smell… finish my work… make phone calls… another missing… smell… finish job assignment tomorrow… another… no clues… smell… pick up some dinner… smell… spot… no clues… missing.

I wake up to the sound of my door buzzer ringing in my head. As my memory begins to flood back, I scramble to my feet and answer the door. It’s repair man I called. I’m rambling trying to explain what happened. The only clear words I think I was able to blurt out were, Police, in the wall, missing persons, black spot. As I gesture to the wall my eyes lock onto the small heap of rotten body parts on the floor and everything goes black again.

Okay It’s been a couple days, my weekend was hell. I had to spend it away from my apartment which is now a crime scene and I was bombarded with a lot of questions. After everything settled down I was able to find out that one of my neighbors had been abducting people in the area. It’s unclear when and how he would kill them, but once he did… he would… eat his victims.

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The body count is unknown, but it seems that he’s recently become a bit picky with the cuts of flesh that he would eat. That’s why missing person reports have gone up in my area lately. I mean he would abduct a person, take the certain flesh he wanted and dispose of the rest. Figuring he can’t flush or trash his leftovers he decided the next best thing would be to hide his scraps in the walls. my stomach turns just thinking about it.

After getting those details I was given more bad news. Once they figured out which apartment the remains were coming from, they found that the tenant had already vacated. The name and info attached to the apartment belongs to a dead man. With no more clues and no leads to go on, he remains at large.

As much as I don’t want to stay in my apartment, I guess I have no choice. Now that the police know he’s been here, they’ll be keeping a look out and so will I. As for the rest of you, who live in apartments, keep an eye on any weird spots on your walls and sleep tight.

Credit To – Creepy Jonez

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Copyright Statement: Unless explicitly stated, all stories published on Creepypasta.com are the property of (and under copyright to) their respective authors, and may not be narrated or performed under any circumstance.

21 thoughts on “Spot”

  1. This is pretty good! Apart from the few spelling mistakes and the fact that he/she recognised the bone straight away, it was good!!

  2. K so i get the blood coming put of the walls and his nieghbor using a “dead-man’s” name, but how did the bone matter get through the wall?

  3. I found this creepy because I used to live in an apartment with mold. You have a lot of potential as a writer and you should definitely keep working at it!

    I do think it would be good to work on grammar a little bit, as well as fleshing out your character(s). If you make us care about the main character it will end up being much creepier and we’ll be able to relate better to his/her horror. Just a suggestion :)

  4. I’m really sorry but this is the most predictable Pasta I have ever read. It was so predictable I thought you had done it on purpose to throw us off…

  5. Pretty good plot line but there were enough errors for me to rate it with a 6/10. The punctuation and paragraphing needed improvement because I would read something then the next next sentence would be a different topic, paragraphing goes a long way.

    Also the story just wasn’t creepy enough and I became bored until the end, so try and be better with hooks and foreshadowing in the story.

  6. I don’t like the POV. I simply couldn’t read past the first few sentences. Personally, I’ve read this concept before so I am dull to it. Congrats on getting it posted to the main site though :D *claps*

  7. The story is woefully lacking in substance. The plot feels rushed and implausible. There was no suspense build up whatsoever as the story was rushing by so quickly. Why didn’t the protagonist just call his landlord? Sure, he was busy at the start, but when the smell was overpowering, shouldn’t he had called his landlord?The climax, where the black spot was revealed to be a bone shard covered with rotten flesh protruding out of the wall was quite anti-climatic and predictable. The ending was again, rushed and frankly, awful.

    As the story only had one main character, I felt that the rushed paced of writing, coupled with it looking like badly written journal entries, made his development very two-dimensional, lifeless and boring.

    Next up, the writer needs to improve his writing and language skills. Do not mix past and present tense together, stick to one. Use present tense if you want to make the story more chilling as everything unfolds in the present or use past tense if you want it to be a recount of one’s experience.

    The writer also needs to have proper use of punctuation. For example, he /she uses the phrase ‘another day another dollar’. There should have a comma between day and another: ‘another day, another dollar’.

    Next, in writing, do not use relaxed pronunciations in written text: dunno, sorta, etc. One can use it in dialogue, but not in prose.

    It could be me, but i felt the analogy the writer used here was quite weird: ‘Work was just another rat race for this guy. All this work will make that cheese taste all that much better.’ A rat race is an analogy where one does a lot of work with nothing meaningful ever achieved. So, the part about the cheese just does not seem right.

    I know I am nitpicking about the writer’s language and sentence structure, but all these errors just makes reading a story a painful process. No matter how good the plot is, bad writing skills will make readers lose interest. Proof-read a story before submitting it; it will definitely look a lot better. Continue to write and improve. 4/10

  8. I agree with AppleWedge. I tried to give this a 3 out of 10. After reading it, I didn’t believe it belonged here. This story has a long way to go to become creepy. And I also agree with Madinverse; it is far too rushed it goes from point A to point B, without any build up, what so ever. I have much to build on. I thank all of you for your critiques and insight’s; they are much appreciated for my next rewrite or post. Thanks go to all of you.

  9. Isnt this sort of based on a true story… I remember reading about some guy who would flush the bodies of people he murdererd down the toilet and everyones apartment got clogged or something along those lines. Maybe being based on a true story makes this pasta more creepy..

  10. If you live in an apartment, then why didn’t you just contact the landlord?

    If I’m not mistaken, I think I read a Micropasta of yours on the other site. This pasta suffers from the same malady: it was rushed, lacking substance and polish, its premise and reveal too weak to carry the story. The sentences in this one read more like entries in a diary and I’m not sure present tense was a good choice to combine with the flat monotone voice you chose to employ for narration. It just made your one character seem 2 dimensional and lifeless.

    All in all, I hope you don’t take my criticism the wrong way, but continue to write and improve.

  11. I don’t mean any offense; however I really feel like this story should have landed at crappypasta.com.

    The entire pasta had a rushed feel to it, which felt intentional, but really failed to scare me or even make me care about the protagonist’s fate.
    The actual plot was never actually creepy, and besides the random but climactic ending, failed to deliver any sort of horror or supernatural elements.
    This story had flat character(s), an awful concept, and execution that was unique but ineffective. I can tell there was effort, but with such an awful ending and so little actual horror, I can’t give it anything above a 3/10.
    Unfortunately for this story, unless you have mold, there is very little to be frightened over when it comes to a dark spot on your wall.

  12. Oh my god…. Is it real?! I’m JKL! That’s pretty scary if you ask me. I… I. Am actually almost a hard scare. That one was good

  13. WonderlandsRabbit

    A good storyline, but could have been structured better.
    I guessed the ending from the whole ‘missing-persons’ thing in the fourth paragraph, which totally gave it away. Maybe this should have been slipped in amongst some other news reports to make it less obvious? Just a suggestion.
    Overall, creative and chilling. Keep on writing :)

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