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It’s a Small Road



Estimated reading time — 2 minutes

I spot a fellow standing on the side of road, slightly obscured by the low-lying fog. He’s got his thumb stuck out – kind of gruff and dirty looking. It’s late… Hell, why not. I pull the car over and the man opens the door; he hops in without saying a word.

“It’s your lucky night,” I state, “normally I don’t pick up any thumbers.”

Despite the night being dark, I notice some bright yellow teeth in my rearview mirror. I guess he’s smiling at the comment.

“Must be. I never thumb much myself anymore.” He halts, “Not since what happened.”

“Oh?” I ask. “What happened?”

The man in backseat pauses for a moment, but with a shrug of his shoulders he commences the tale.

“It were some years ago. Late at night as you might expect. I was out hitchhiking when a man comes along and picks me up. Sounds good, huh?”

He hesitates here but when I give a grunt of approval, the story continues.

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“Well this man who picked me asks ‘Dangerous isn’t it?’ What is? I asked him. He says ‘Thumbing,’ and before I can even speak the man pulls a big ol’ knife on me. He says ‘Yep, dangerous alright.’ Then stabs at me. The car is swerving all over and he’s stabbing and stabbing.”

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I grunt again, becoming interested. “Well what did you do?”

“I’ll tell ya!” the man yells. And out of nowhere he thrusts his arm forward, right up against my cheek. I look down at it. The hand is gone. He pulls the arm back. “This guy cut it right off!”

“How’d you escape?”

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More bright yellow teeth in the mirror again. “Well, I got hold of his hand and instinct kicked in. I bit his fingers, got two of ‘em. Car hit a tree and I made a run for it.”

I grunt again, gripping the steering wheel with my bad hand – the one missing the two little fingers.

Credit To – S.R. Tooms

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26 thoughts on “It’s a Small Road”

  1. terribly predictable, maybe a more morbid ending like “you mean like this” -holds hand up- while slowly climbing into back seat with knife and say one final spooky like “lucky theirs no trees for miles”. but not bad story 6/10

  2. I expected the hitchhiker to kill the dude or something so I like the surprise ending. Could have been a bit longer though. Overall pretty good :)

  3. The part I thought was weird was the driver hit a tree. Who doesn’t know how to cleanly slice off someone’s hand while driving?! I’ve cut off over a dozen hitchhiker’s hands and haven’t hit a tree yet!

  4. I grunt again, becoming interested. “Well what did you do?”

    “I’ll tell ya!” the man yells. And out of nowhere he thrusts his arm forward, right up against my cheek. I look down at it. The hand is gone. He pulls the arm back. “This guy cut it right off!”

    ————————————————————————————————————————————————-
    I’m not sure if I was the only on who was really bothered by this part of the dialog. First the driver asks what the hitchhiker did, then the hitchhikers says he’ll tell the driver, but instead of telling the driver what he did, the hitchhiker shows the driver what the other man did. This may seem minor, (and I’m not sure why it bothered me so much) but disjointed dialog like this can really annoy a reader and ruin the story.

    Now that my usual nitpicking is over, the story wasn’t bad. It was anything but predictable, and while it could have definitely benefitted from being longer, it entertained me.

    It had a cool concept, interesting characters, but bad execution. 8/10

  5. I liked the idea, my only issue is that they didn’t recognize each other. The hitchhiker not recognizing his attacker was especially hard to buy into. But it was a really great concept! Maybe if there was a line about the driver pulling the brim of his hat over his eyes or something…?

  6. People on this site are incapable of enjoying micropastas, nevermind them.

    This is a 10/10. I love the play about being scared of this creepy man and then revealing that we are the evil one.

  7. So, uh, do we have two guys with a very, very bad memory when it comes to faces?
    Good you didn’t go for the most expected ending, but I’m not really sold on this one either. I see how the driver could not recognize the hitchhiker, but if I were the latter, the face of my would-be killer would have been very vivid in my memories.
    On the other hand, very good title, it clicks perfectly after reading the story, but doesn’t spoil much beforehand.
    BTW: cutting off a hand with a knife, moreover while driving and without the hand’s owner consent, so to speak, it’s a pretty hard task.

    1. You and I think much alike sir. The whole cut my hand off nonsense ruined this for me. That and the paragraph that reveals the missing hand. It makes no sense. This is the sequence of dialogue: “Well what did you do?” “Ill tell ya! This guy cut it right off!” Completely tore me outta the story. Its a fun idea but the execution was botched and the ending was predictable. For me anyway. A rewrite woulda really benefitted this one. 5/10. Keep reading and writing

    2. Endoplasmic Reticulum

      The hitchhiker got into the back seat, if the driver was wearing a moderately large coat I’d say it would be perfectly reasonable if they didn’t recognize each other

  8. Such a low rating for an alright story. Yes grammar and such was pretty…..bad. but at least it wasn’t predictable. I liked it !

    1. I’m actually not seeing any significantly bad grammar. Are you just tossing that out there because it’s something to say? Can you point to a specific example? Don’t confuse the characters’ dialogue with poor grammar.

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