Slenderman

Add this post to your list of favorites!After waking up with a jolt, the girl laid in bed a few seconds longer. Reaching over to switch on her bedside lamp, she tried to remember exactly what had stolen her sweet slumber away. When she couldn’t, the brunette swung her legs over the side of the bed and heaved herself up. Checking the time on her phone, she snorted when she saw it was midnight- the witching hour. Knowing that sleep would only evade her, she left her bedroom for the kitchen, a good cup of coffee on her mind.
As she passed by her front door, a chill spread like liquid fire down her spine. It’s only winter, she told herself, focusing again on the coffee plan. Measuring out scoops, water, and preparing her cup kept her occupied, but as the dark liquid boiled, she had nothing left to keep her mind from wandering off. The chill returned and she couldn’t help but glance behind her to the front door. It stood there innocently enough, just like always. The dead bolt was still in place and she could see nothing amiss with it. Turning back to her coffee, she did her best to forget about the feeling.
With her cup in hand, she started back towards her bedroom. As she walked by the front door, she decided that a quick glance out of the peep hole would help calm her restless mind. The chill worsened with each step she took towards the door and further away from the safety and warmth of her blankets. She pressed her empty hand against the cold, metal door and took a deep breath before leading her eye to the peep hole.
At first, she could only see an inky blackness and somehow seemed to swirl in itself. When she blinked in surprise, the void melted away. She wished it hadn’t. In it’s place, there stood what she could only guess was once a man. The limbs were long and inhumanly awkward, with bulky joints branching off into several arms, not unlike the branches of a tree. The creature was drapped in a black suit, somehow manking the thing more nightmarish to her. The icing on the proverbial cake, however, was what passed as the hellish thing’s face. It was as though her mind blurred the ghastly visage to spare itself further shock and horror.
She shoved herself away from the door with the hand still pressed against it. The scalding mug of coffee fell, the liquid burning her bare legs as she fell backwards and tried to crawl away from the door. She knew, somehow, that her mind hadn’t been playing tricks on her. As she crab walked away from the door, she watched as tendrels as black as the void she first saw snake around through the cracks. The girl was trapped between the instinct to flee and the gut feeling to not turn her back on the door. When the door jolted, the urge to flee overcame her and she slipped in the burning liquid as she tried to make it back to her room.
She knew deep down that she was trapping herself in a corner, but she had to get away from the door. The girl was halfway down the hallway when she heard the previously locked door creak open. She screamed and slipped into a wall, cracking her chin on it and stunning her.
After that, there was only blackness.
–
“Nicole?” a warm, male voice snapped the woman out of her trance. As she turned around, she was met by one of her sister’s doctor’s. She nodded, not sure if she should say anything, or even if she could find her voice if she did have something to say. That morning, she had gotten an urgent phone call from the hospital, saying that her sister, Lindsay, was there. Before they had even let her see her, the doctor’s had pulled her off to the side and insisted that they talk to her about what might have happened. Phrases like ‘self-inflected’ and ‘assault’ had been thrown around and Nicole felt her mind reel.
She still hadn’t fully understood what they had been saying until she saw Lindsay with her own eyes. Her little sister had a bandage wrapped around her head, covering both of her ears as well as her eyes. They said it was to keep her now deadened eyes from drying out and to try to keep infection out of the wounds Lindsay had made to her ears. The doctors had guessed that either she or someone else had jammed a pencil into them to keep her off balance or to deafen herself against something. There was the mix of first and second degree burns on her hands, legs, and feet, from what was assumed to be the coffee her neighbors found slipped all over the entry to her apartment.
As Nicole walked into her sister’s hospital room the first time, she thought she had spied the silhouette of a man in the window. That, she knew, was impossible. Her sister’s room was on the third story of the hospital.
Slenderman,


Nom nom
Specklemuffin(Quote)
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nom nom indeed
Anonymous(Quote)
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your dum soo dum how is that real
alyssa(Quote)
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What’s dumb is that you can’t see the proof when its right in front of your face. You never know if they’re real or not.
Slenderman(Quote)
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Ditto.
BEN(Quote)
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I think this story is true every night even before I read this I saw a tall white guy in a tuxedo in my nightmares.Usally in a forest late at night.I believe this story
SLENDY(Quote)
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True
Matthew(Quote)
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lol hi slendy. I have a question… where do you take people after you disappear with them? and will u marry me? :3
Starr(Quote)
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u got that right. never know if real or not.
google grace(Quote)
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Sup Slendy
Magic Burrito(Quote)
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This is all True!!!!!!!! Don’t test me I am Slenderman I know where all of you live
TheRealSlenderman(Quote)
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dont kill me
mqizzle(Quote)
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You have no idea if i’m real or fake no one knows and no one will tell. You have no idea how powerful I am! i’m a silent killer. And you can’t kill me.
Slender(Quote)
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At least i have a face! come on people! who would believe that this guy really waited outside her door! the real slender would have teleported infront of her!
TheRealRake(Quote)
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Holy shit your right there.
MOIM(Quote)
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That is soooo stupid
Anonymous(Quote)
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Ok here I go this stuff needs to be stopped it is not real and yo fake stuff like that I not helping the young and I’m only 12 so you can’t do any thing it’s so fake so shut yo mouth and all the people sayin it’s real they lyin
Cheyenne(Quote)
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true
Anonymous(Quote)
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you are not real
Anonymous(Quote)
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Can I be your proxy? Please Slendy?
Idril_Celebrindal(Quote)
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Ironic how you used the phrase “right in front of your face”; sorry, but you don’t even have a face Slendy.
The Featherholder(Quote)
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OMG SLENDER! YOU ARE AWESOME!
Slenderman fan(Quote)
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Exactly
Eklipse(Quote)
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Bull slender man is just bull
Ethan(Quote)
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OMG Slenderman, can u plz sign my shirt?
That guy(Quote)
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whats ‘dumb’ is how you spelled dum..
walkerbait13(Quote)
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“Dum” is spelt dumb
MOrgAN(Quote)
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i usually see a tall white guy out my window…followed by a burning cross, and some very rude comments…just sayin
SlenderSon426(Quote)
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yeah dude
skyfan(Quote)
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*You’re dumb, so dumb, how is that real? :P I like proper English, and alyssa, never assume something is false, unless their is evidence to prove it so. And it’s just a story for entertainment.
Taylor(Quote)
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shut up slendr man is real and im running from him
derp(Quote)
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Why would you be on the internet if your running from the slender man???
samantha(Quote)
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Hello, now be EXTERMINATED
DalekSek(Quote)
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tthisss is all truee….. Slenderman Is Reaal… Im LEavinn Dis state…;[
tianna(Quote)
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You do not understand how real these are I’ve seen him the smell of him it will make you want to vomit he steals your children he took my daughter I will kill him even if its with my last breath
Lost soul(Quote)
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It is true I was in Germany and I went to his woods and saw him
Payton(Quote)
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It is true I was in Germany and I went to his woods and saw him
Payton(Quote)
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Alyssa, if you haven’t figured out that creepypasta is meant for entertainment purposes yet, you need to get a life and use the interwebs.
Pandak Panay(Quote)
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It’s Taylor, not Alyssa
DalekSek(Quote)
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Slender man might be real but I don’t believe in him.you know slendy if your so tall you should become a basketball player
Anonymous(Quote)
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How can you have a life if your always on the interests looking at creepypasta…? Wouldn’t that just give you paranoia?
Anonymous(Quote)
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Looking at creepy pasta on the internet doesn’t give you a life, it will give you paranoia
SlenderLlama(Quote)
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Slender’s main land IS in the forests of Germany and I also believe in slender I was in my basement and I turned around and saw him in my back yard. NO JOKE.
Anonymous(Quote)
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its meant to be a good story genius
Captain Killjoy(Quote)
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Learn to spell Dumb you dum dum dum dum
/,,fdhoudgo(Quote)
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You’re so dumb how do you manage to type like that?
Anonymous(Quote)
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Whatever Nom Nom means, I’ll go with it. . .
PlushPlush45(Quote)
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nom nom means good pasta.
corey(Quote)
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I like pasta….
Lauren(Quote)
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wat up with slender
F.A.S.I.(Quote)
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nom nom nom nom nom i nom m nom scare nom d :P
Anonymous(Quote)
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youre right
derp(Quote)
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nom nom nom to your argument up there ;)
Kitten(Quote)
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ay slendy play that one about falling down stairs sure thing kid ‘falls down stairs lands on piano’…i love it
random kid(Quote)
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Wow not real 1 he would have brung her to the forest ate her neck and hang her up on a tree SO THIS WHOLE THING IS FACK!
lolol(Quote)
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Hang her on a tree! eat her neck! you have got to be kidding me! slender wouldnt do that! he would get caught and he has finger prints people! he only lacks 3 things!
1. NORMAL BODY!
2. A BRAIN!
(and the biggest one of all)
3. A FACE!
TheRealRake(Quote)
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no shit.
who in their right mind thinks creepypasta is real, dumbass?
ALSO, BRUNG IS NOT A WORD
NEITHER IS FACK
Anonymous(Quote)
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haters got to hate. now go back to your little hater corner.
soul gazer(Quote)
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You’ve got to be joking. My friend told me he had no face, but it says here his face was distorted like swirly face man( seethetheater
PlushPlush(Quote)
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Slender man is fake cause there are soooo many different descriptions of him
Anonymous(Quote)
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Does that mean Morgan Freeman is fake?
Anonymous(Quote)
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No Morgan freeman…..he can’t!!!!!
Anonymous(Quote)
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What if Morgan Freeman is Slenderman?
BEN(Quote)
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Well according to stories people who see him either become missing or go insane… who will believe an insane person?
Rissa(Quote)
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i used to be insane i still believe in him but he is misunderstood you all see him as the bad guy what if he is actually the good guy
adynji(Quote)
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Slender man is not reel even my mate told me that you lot are just thick
Bo(Quote)
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Okay so i learned who and who isn’t stupid here today! EVERYONE THAT SAYS NOM NOM IS A FREAKING GENUIS, who ever spells, Dumb like= dum, and spells real like=reel, okay you can tell thats a scared four year old kid right?
NOM TO THE FRIKIN NOM NOM. OKAY.
Teka(Quote)
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NOM NOM NOM NOM FIVE!
SUPERNOMNOMSUPERNOMNOM(Quote)
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Reel is a word, but it doesn’t have the same meaning as real.
Reel basically means to evade something by any means.
“John, in his awkward crosslegged position, reeled back in terror when he saw the tall figure.”
radioare(Quote)
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NOM NOM!!
DalekSek(Quote)
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Slender man is real you just dumd and can’t see that he is out there waiting and if u don’t believe in him soon he’s GONNA GET YOU!!!!!!!
Anonymous(Quote)
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Basically he has no face. We can maybe assume the human eyes arent able To handle what his face actually is…therefore She didn’t literally see swirls. Her mind just showed her the only thing it could process.
Itsxfukinxsarah(Quote)
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Your right If the mind cant picture the Image or cant comprihend what It sees The Viewer may go Insane EG the girl discribed In the pasta get what I mean but the symptoms Include EXTREME PARANOYA(sorry computer £^^$& up)
Havotch 9(Quote)
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he say he just want a friend and no affence slenderman but he does know were we live and your friend is right he doesn’t have a face.
andreya(Quote)
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He has no Face the writer is just a stupid little kid writing this
Anonymous(Quote)
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nom nom nom nom nom
endergirl(Quote)
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You actually aren’t giving any good detail you’re just saying nom nom for crying out loud!
Anonymous(Quote)
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NOM NOM NOM!
Anonymous(Quote)
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Do you have a problem with that?
Anonymous(Quote)
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I used to see a tall black figure at the end of my hallway when I was about 5.
ItsxFukinxsarah(Quote)
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I seen a tall black figure when I was 5-10 years old.
sfox(Quote)
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I’m here…
Slenderman(Quote)
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I love Slenderman!! But I am not the type to blindly trust, if you are the real Slenderman, what are you looking for?
Idril_Celebrindal(Quote)
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HONEY! WHY ARE YOU READING THIS GARBAGE? YOU ARE GROUNDED M.R.!
Your’ Mom(Quote)
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I used to have nightmeres about him
now instead of doing that I vomit instead…. My stomach is the weakest OR…SLENDERMAN IS COMING FOR ME!!!!!
griffmiff(Quote)
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One time I saw a tall black figure using my toilet
Anonymous(Quote)
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He also did’nt flush.Dun Dun Duuuun
Anonymous(Quote)
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I’m loling at both those comments
DalekSek(Quote)
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I saw crap randomly in my toilet today
Anonymous(Quote)
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Your wife or Mum is cheating.
DOg_Mutt(Quote)
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Would it kill him to at least wave hi
Anonymous(Quote)
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Slendernom :D
DerpPasta(Quote)
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Slenderman is real
Once I stayed back at school
when i walked out it was 9:00pm
I live in britain so it was dark by now
walking round the side of the building i seen a man glancing at me and with a small girls voice mixed with mine it said
“Upon you is your present and future,
People you know…..and betrayed,
For you know not what you do, i do”
I quickly ran away
I know now it was slenderman telling me of my life now because i have a wife and little girl
Ciaran(Quote)
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Do you think the slenderman is gonna kill you?
griffmiff(Quote)
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hi bro have you seen slender man agine sine that one day.
Anonymous(Quote)
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the witching hour is 3 am not 12 not trying to be a internet trol but it is.
ghost hunter(Quote)
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Idk if was a real story but it was too long and really boring!
Anonymous(Quote)
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All this from someone saying “nom nom”…
I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.
Anonymous(Quote)
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NOM NOM NOM BROTHA!
The Bloodthirsty Writer(Quote)
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surprising and scary
not willing to tell name(Quote)
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Noooo, don’t say you think Slender exists, haven’t you heard of the Tulpa Effect? Your going to make him exist.
Your Name Here(Quote)
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are you ready to die tonight?
slenderman(Quote)
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This cant be true chuck Norris killed alll evil
Random trololol guy(Quote)
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I couldn’t finish. This prose is fast approaching Eye Of Argon level. Write more casually.
Anonymous(Quote)
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Creepy. Although, they did skimp on the description of the creature’s face. WTF. Also, I did notice one possible typo: “…the coffee her neighbors found found *slipped* all over the entry…”
Dylan A.(Quote)
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slenderman has no face .everyone knows that
logan wilson(Quote)
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They do its true
Anonymous(Quote)
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I love that slenderman is so mysterious. Tell me, who would win: Slenderman vs. Jeff the Killer?
Slenderman(Quote)
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wait wait wait,don’t Jeff and Slenderman like each other?(like PewDiePie and Cry)
Kylie Swanson(Quote)
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Well slenderman actully has paranormal powers like going through walls where Jeff the Killer is just a pshicopath with a knife
Anonymous(Quote)
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slenderman would win.
andreya(Quote)
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Slendy is classy, Jeff is just plain “HOLY MOTHER OF SHIT GET THE FUCKING GUN!”
Kitten(Quote)
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that’s right.He has no face.I feel sad for him.:(
sfox(Quote)
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You just messed up to with found found.
Anonymous(Quote)
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i will kill you all
slenderman(Quote)
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i will SLICE AND DICE YOUR FACE just like what i done years ago!
freddy krueger(Quote)
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Is that so?
Chuck Norris(Quote)
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*Did
Kenzie(Quote)
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I’m on Chuck Norris’ s side you might not want to mess with him and Slenderman your a wuss – eats Slenderman- NOM NOM NOM!
RAWR I’M A DINOSAUR(Quote)
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just cuz you got his face and messed up nails don’t mean you him billy
Nny92(Quote)
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I would love to see that! pleas come and try :P
Insanity(Quote)
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I offer tea
Slenderman(Quote)
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I accept.
Idril_Celebrindal(Quote)
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I see what you did there
Nny92(Quote)
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Is this really real?
Rachel(Quote)
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Of course, dont you know?
Creepypasta is as real as it can be.
Jeff the Killer(Quote)
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Yay!!!!!Jeff is real!wait…what O.O’
Kylie Swanson(Quote)
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OH NO JEFF TURNED THE KNIFE THAT A KILL STAB KILL STAB NOT FAIR. AW GOD THERE’S THE SEED EATER.wait why is slender man bustin move…well at least he’s good move’s
Anonymous(Quote)
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RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!
griffmiff(Quote)
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@griffmiff RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!! some more…
TheCreepiestPasta(Quote)
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awwwww yeah jeff wait im a kid jeff you said your real aw shit
uhgh(Quote)
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jeff jane killed you alredy how are you still alive?
gordan freeman(Quote)
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Jane did not kill Jeff.
Jeff’s dead parents soul’s came and killed him be slicing him with supplies in the shed thing Jane had brought Jeff. As Jeff’s parent souls killed him they said he could have gone to heaven with them. Also as they killed him they said “go to sleep” over and over. ^_^ Hope this info will help u. ^_^
sweet deadlyshadow(Quote)
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i hope so cause that means jane already killed you jeff
gordan freeman(Quote)
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Liar! its all fake! no one has really seen any of these things! they made it up as it goes! and i dont say that stuff to people sleeping! get that through you thik skull!!!!!!!
TheRealRake(Quote)
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moron, these things aren’t supposed to be real.
they’re supposed to scare the bajeezus out of you, nothing on this site is real
dumbass
radioare(Quote)
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You don’t say
Anonymous(Quote)
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Oh God please don’t kill me please. I haven’t had the time to make my parents proud yet and I’ve been such a disappointment to them.
Kitten(Quote)
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Jeff is beautiful. But Slendy is better.
Idril_Celebrindal(Quote)
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I would want to meet Slenderman and Jeff one day :3 Jeff is very pretty and Slender man is really. . . awesome also <3
Anonymous(Quote)
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Only one typo?
Chris(Quote)
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That was unnerving.
Conor(Quote)
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It reads like the American version of a scary Japanese pasta, ala the Ring or the Grudge or the Polished Turd.
Poupou.(Quote)
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LOL. WTH is the “Polished Turd”. How come I never heard of that one?
Anonymous(Quote)
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The possessive form is “its”, not “it’s”. Other than that, fine I guess. Better than that Bwystfel or whatever it was.
The Man in Pink(Quote)
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at least you know your grammer
Anonymous(Quote)
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*grammar*
Seed Eater(Quote)
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seed eater please go vegan and eat seeds not kids thank you
lolfacebreaker(Quote)
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Also, “Doctor’s” on several occasions should have been “Doctors”, no apostrophe.
Kenzie(Quote)
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good grammer kid.
sfox(Quote)
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The first time I saw a Slederman
was when I was 8 I cried and shit my pants.
griffmiff(Quote)
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I’m assuming ‘manking’ was suppose to be ‘making’. I learned more about coffee then I did about the Slenderman. O.K. pasta.
Mary Hatchet(Quote)
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WOW! Pretty nice pasta.. Would totally read again..
Nom nom nom indeed..
Latinofaaaag!(Quote)
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What the heck does nom nom mean?!
Anonymous(Quote)
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Eating small thing.
Chuck Norris(Quote)
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It means that the person likes it
Anonymous(Quote)
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ikr
abby myers(Quote)
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Look will all of you just stop talking about me
Slender man(Quote)
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Nobody likes me!
Seed Eater(Quote)
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I lik you
Anonymous(Quote)
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I like you
ENDERMAN!!!!!(Quote)
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Sorry, you must be new on the internet. Your video game made people shit themselves and gave them some knowledge about you, which made you famous. Due to your fame and popularity, people will keep talking about you until they find something else to talk about. Like Gangam Style was replaced by Harlem Shake.
Kitten(Quote)
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it means its a good pasta! but its not at all! they make people like me and slender look like bad people! i did not kill a girl and her parents for a meal! that never EVER happened!
TheRealRake(Quote)
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You can run but you can’t hide
Slender man(Quote)
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go away!
frobo(Quote)
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can i still run anyway? :(
Anonymous(Quote)
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can i still run i need exrsize
lolfacebreaker(Quote)
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WTF does nom nom mean.
sfox(Quote)
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It’s a chewing sound attended with enjoyment.
Anonymous(Quote)
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That they like the story (pretty sure anyways)
Anonymous(Quote)
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the polished turd xD I LOVED THIS STORY. it was creepy. (;
Cayla(Quote)
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how did she hit her CHIN
and get knocked out?????
Anonymous(Quote)
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Slender sickness?
Slendy Expert(Quote)
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weeeell SHIT im in a forest and NO SLENDY only jeff…. creepy pasta corp. get the seed eater,slendy jeff removel car aaaaand chuck noris. im welcoming anyone else
lolfacebreaker(Quote)
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Ermmm… severe whiplash… I don’t know :D
Kenzie(Quote)
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knocked out!!!!she hit it to hard?
sfox(Quote)
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Actually, there is a spot on your chin known as “The Button” to some martial artists, and, if hit hard enough, will knock you out. Regardless of where you are hit, enough trauma to the head will render you unconscious.
TaeKwonDo(Quote)
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When you get hit in the chinfrom the bottom, it sort of jolts your brain a bit from the impact knocking your head backwards. Why do you think boxers always keep their chins down?
Kitten(Quote)
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Do not want…it seemed just like a plain story, nothing special going on
Anon(Quote)
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Finally! This site NEEDS more MH!
FINALLY(Quote)
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Premise was okay. Execution was horrible
TW(Quote)
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lame lame lame…
Which is a shame–I love Slenderman.
violet(Quote)
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lame lame lame…
Which is a shame shame shame
(that’s what I thought you would say)
RandomPerson(Quote)
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Isn’t it the original one?
ght(Quote)
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THEN WHO WASZ SILHOUETE?
Lolwut?!?(Quote)
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SAME PERSON THAT WAS PHONE!!!
SLENDERMAN!!!!
Slendy Expert(Quote)
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Stop sharing my secrets. I will kill you if you do
Slenderman(Quote)
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the silhouete of slendy!!!!!
slendy = slenderman
slendy is the nickname of slenderman!
sfox(Quote)
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no you won’t
sfox(Quote)
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I used to see Slenderman when Iwas 8
when I was in bed I saw him then he went away quickly
griffmiff(Quote)
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I thought phone waz the girl.
sweet deadlyshadow(Quote)
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Silouette was probably scp106 if he’s real
Anonymous(Quote)
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Ah, finally. A pasta about the classic Slenderman.
It could have been more descriptive, and to be honest, a little creepier. Decent pasta nonetheless. 6/10
Also, just to get it out of the way:
WHO WAS MAN?
MenderSlan(Quote)
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What are you talking about "who was man?"
i don’t know what you are trying to say?
the true RedChurrow(Quote)
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use your grammer!
I don’t know what “who was man”
did you mean who was the man or something?
sfox(Quote)
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Girl almost dies from black tendril corruption thing in house. Girl goes to hospital, and doctors are baffled. Girl’s sister goes to hospital to see her, finds out sister is dead, and she is going to be killed by said black corruption force.
Sounds a lot like the Grudge, and since the writing didn’t especially stand out, I’d put it at slightly above average.
Violent Harvest(Quote)
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nice. slendy going to kill you now!
sfox(Quote)
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Ending was … DEADPAN. It was such a good pasta. The right enough of suspense and the right amount of vague. That’s hard to achieve, but the ending could do with a little brush up. Or even replacing the last sentence completely.
Had potential though. Good work.
PaperPasta(Quote)
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Marble hornets ftw.
Anonymous(Quote)
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Agreed
usu(Quote)
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me gusta
Your Name Here(Quote)
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Kind of a bland execution, which is too bad because the story itself is pretty good.
TRK(Quote)
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Congrats, you’ve managed to make a story about the Slenderman (the creepiest creation in Christendom) NOT SCARY.
I don’t mean to sound harsh, the idea behind the story was great – it was simply the execution that fell flat. Too much descriptive exposition will kill any story. Perhaps try a re-write with punchier sentences – allow the audience to fill in some of the blanks in their minds.
Reaveress(Quote)
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you know you can say slendy!
sfox(Quote)
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Meeeeh, it was okay… But you kinda made Slenderman look like a crazy tree-man in the mental picture I got.
And I am surprised that Slenderman hasn’t beed published here sooner… Good job on that one.
PHONE(Quote)
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phone right. good job!
sfox(Quote)
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Only epic if reader is savvy to Slenderman imho. Nonetheless brix shat. Last paragraph needed to be written better.
22/7(Quote)
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armnoarmnarm! i’m not gonna sleep easily tonite!
theshadow(Quote)
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i’m going to sleep easly tonight ^_^ creepy pasta stories do tend to help me sleep better ^_^
sweet deadlyshadow(Quote)
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Decent premise, but the writing was very sloppy. Too many times the sentences seemed to fumble about with the point, and there were various sentences and descriptions that served absolutely no purpose what-so-ever.
For example, what was the point in mentioning that Lindsay (the first girl) was a brunette? That point just seemed rather irrelevant to the story and was therefore needless padding.
The idea behind the story wasn’t bad, it just needs to have the language and structure cleaned up a bit.
Gegner(Quote)
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the reason for saying shes a brunette is so you can see the story played out, to know the character
NinjaGaming0(Quote)
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just shut up man y’all antifreaks and dorks the chill went on my face looking ass lol ;)
Anonymous(Quote)
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she was saying she was a brunette to describe her character, most people do in stories, even Halloween ones or even
Anonymous(Quote)
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Crappy pasta on an awesome topic.
Meme(Quote)
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yup
magical turd(Quote)
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