Scary Paranormal Stories & Short Horror Microfiction

Creepypasta

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UPDATE 2/4:

I’m working on reading submissions and getting things scheduled. Expect to see new pastas on the main page starting on February 8th, and please do visit Crappypasta if you’re really starving for new pastas! I’ve been updating it for about a week now, and I’m sure the authors would appreciate some constructive criticism. Remember, the more we can improve the community’s overall skill level, the easier it will be for me to find new main-site pastas! Most of the holdup right now comes from the simple fact that I have to get through roughly 50+ unpostable submissions to find one acceptable submission. Please remember that I can only work with what I’m given, and I have no spider-sense that will allow me to bypass the slush and zero in on the good stuff. It’s my hope that if the community legitimately helps the Crappypasta authors, this ratio of crap:creep may become a bit better in the future.

Please pay particular attention to the Just Needs Polishing, Shows Promise and Undercooked Pasta categories, as they generally include the submissions that can benefit the most from a lot of feedback and suggestions.

As before, I’m putting the older updates below the “read more” to avoid causing confusion.

UPDATE 1/23:

I’m (somewhat) back, and don’t worry, I am fine. I’ve finally passed the “sleeping all day” phase – turns out prescription painkillers make me incredibly tired, even more so than the antibiotics that I’d been on previously. The painkillers do make me feel a bit nauseated, to the point where long periods of time looking at the computer screen or TV, certain foods, car rides, etc can make me feel pretty rotten and send me running back to bed. So while I’m starting the process of getting back into reading submissions, it might be a couple more days until I’m able to do it for any long periods of time, so I have to warn you guys not to expect me to dive back into things at full speed.

I am going to need to get through a few more days of submissions before I begin posting again. I need to get a better idea of where we’re at with the quality:quantity ratio. Specifically, I need to figure out if posting 2 pastas a day is still easily viable, or if I need to drop down to one per day. As I’ve said before, I’ve received a higher amount of submissions than ever before, but most of them are – not to be rude – not particularly impressive. This means that it takes me longer to find postable submissions, which means that reducing the amount of published pastas to one per day might be easier/more realistic for me at this point in time. Once I get a decent idea of what I’m working with in regards to submissions, I can also come up with a time frame for the next submission open/close period.

Expect some posts on Crappypasta within the day, so at least you guys have that to look forward to. Sorry about the delay on publishing and reading submissions. I owe you all a lot of thanks for the outpouring of nice comments in this post; I was honestly expecting to get yelled at, so this has been a really pleasant surprise. Thanks also go out to my unnamed-by-request friend who stood in for me with approving comments and made sure that the submission form got closed on time. You are all very much appreciated.

I’m putting the original post under the read more, so as not to cause confusion. If you’re seeing this on the front page and have no idea what’s going on, click the read more icon or the post title and you’ll see the rest of this post.

ORIGINAL POST FROM 1/13:

Hi guys, derpbutt here. As I’ve mentioned once or twice in the comments, I’ve been on a run of antibiotics and had an upcoming surgery to fix my current health issue. The surgery is tomorrow, and I’m told that I’ll need a couple of days to recover. I’m to expect to be very sleepy and not much in the mood for doing anything productive during this time. Given how sleepy the antibiotics have already been making me, I’m taking this to mean that I’ll be pretty much a zombie for a few days.

That said, to make things a bit easier on me, no new pastas will be posted until I’m recovered. I’ve been playing catch-up with scheduling submissions anyhow due to the combination of antibiotics drawing me to spend most free time asleep and the high quantity/low quality ratio of recent submissions. This means that I was only getting things scheduled the night before they went up on the site anyhow, and I’ve been stressed out about how I was going to make this work when I was even more out of commission.

Solution: I will drift in and out to approve comments and make sure that nothing’s exploded, and I’m asking a trusted friend to monitor the health of the site for me – essentially babysitting to make sure we’re not hacked while I’m unconscious. And before you ask, no, he’s not interested or capable in doing anything on the submission side of things, so be happy that there’s even someone trustworthy willing to do this much for us, please.

I hope that you all understand, and I sincerely hope that the lack of stress helps me recover more quickly. Truth be told, I’ve never had to have surgery before so I’m pretty nervous as it is, and having you guys be nice about me needing a short break would definitely help to ease my mind.

To make up for this, I am extending the submission open period. You will now have until next Sunday, January 20th, to submit. Writers, take advantage of this small break to send me some really awesome pastas, please. I won’t be able to eat solid foods for a bit, so figurative pasta will have to do!

I cannot give a precise date for when I’ll be back in fighting shape, but it is my sincere hope that it won’t take too long. Take care!

  • poelover

    I hope you get better soon because its almost been a month since the last new pasta.

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    • Steph

      Whoops, I am sorry good sir, but it seems that everytime I try to give your insensitive comment a thumbs down I accidentally give it a thumbs up. I’m going to stop trying now, because it seems as though it keeps adding more positive votes to your comment, which I do not want. Have a good day.

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  • StupidDialUp

    Glad to see a slew of additions to Crappypasta…work is definitely getting done! Looking fwd to reading less drivel on Creepy though :)

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    • StupidDialUp

      Are the tweeted stories on Creepypastacom twitter the new approved stories or just old stories? I noticed the dates were the last few days. Was wondering if it just wasn’t updating on the main page. New to the site. Yes i read FAQ :)

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      • http://www.creepypasta.com derpbutt

        If it says “new” in the tweet, it’s a new post either here or on Crappypasta. The ones that are just the story name and a link are old stories that are tweeted automatically every so often. We’ve got a pretty hefty archive going here, so I wanted a way to draw eyes to older stories as well.

        The only new posts in the past few days have been on Crappypasta, though. I haven’t yet found enough main site postable pastas to get a schedule going, unfortunately.

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    • http://www.creepypasta.com derpbutt

      Yes, slowly but surely. It’d be faster, it’s just that I’m still really tired all the time and not in the best mental state to read submissions. I’ve mentioned before, but when I’m tired, I tend to read submissions as worse than they actually are – stuff runs together. That’s not really fair to the writer. So I’m going, but slowly.

      On the upside, I’m too tired to reply to the people leaving comments whining about how it’s “been a month” (math is hard) and there’s “nothing on the site anymore” – which is probably a plus for my blood pressure.

      Anyhow, I’m hoping that my energy will return when I’m able to eat normal food again, but that won’t be until next week.

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  • Herobrine

    I read your post about a week ago, but haven’t had time to set up an account on my computer until now. I’m home sick, so I’ve been sleeping for two days, only spending like, three or four hours awake. I hope you get better soon, and take care of yourself, we can manage a while longer without new stories, we’ll just read the older ones.

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  • An Indian

    I just wish you get well soon. Pastas are not oxygen. People can survive for another month or so. Don’t you worry Derpbutt.

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  • Dozer

    Duhh painkillers make you tired. They get you high a shit as well. Enjoy.

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  • http://crappypasta.com the cake

    i think u should post more stories. or have someone post some for u. :D i can only read so much back-log before i lose my place. i keep rescrolling over that picture of that guy with the black eyes. i know i should just use my bookmark button but i always forget. make us some moar stories and junk! with unicorns! unicorns are creeeeeepy

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    • http://www.creepypasta.com derpbutt

      I’m pretty sure this means the dude with the black eyes is haunting you.

      He probably wants to eat you, being that you’re cake.

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    • UndKeineEier

      That’s why I use the Random Pasta section on the side bar there ->

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      • UndKeineEier

        Well, not RIGHT there. It’s further up the sidebar.

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  • Tsugirai

    Get well soon! Also, I feel for you, every two or three months I have one week I have to spend in hospital eating blended food. On the positive side, everything solid tastes absolutely delicious afterwards! ;)

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  • DaSpleen

    God Speed

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  • you just lost the man sweety

    derpbutt, if you need spare parts….. TAKE ONE OF MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  • Raine

    I haven’t been on creepypasta in a while, I’m sorry to hear you’re not well. Anyone who bitches you out for not reading submissions at this time is a jackass and should be tied to some train tracks and run over. Focus on your recovery (you already are I’m sure) and I hope you feel better soon :)

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  • KuKuKu

    Take your time and heal fully. the people here care for you. Me included. Come back in great shape, Derpbutt!

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  • StupidDialUp

    I’ve been feeding off crappypasta for the last week and it amazes me how some people do not even know how to structure a paragraph, indent, space, etc. It’s an English teachers nightmare!!! That’s a creepypasta in itself really…

    Derpbutt, you are a saint among the living having to wade through this muck! Kudos and thanks to you bruh.

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  • RedBeans

    I hope your surgery goes/went well, and I don’t mean to sound insensitive, but can we have one pasta to tide us over ? please Derpbutt ? If you can’t then fair enough, but it would be hugely appreciated if you could :)

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    • http://www.creepypasta.com derpbutt

      I don’t know how to reply to this beyond suggesting that you re-read the post, particularly today’s update.

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      • RedBeans

        Oh crap, sorry I didn’t read it thoroughly, my apologies.

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  • Raine

    Take your time Derp, don’t listen to the insensitive jerks. You’re only one person and can only do so much, especially when you’re not feeling well. No one here is going to die if they don’t get enough pastas every day.

    And if you guys really need scary stories so much, there is a list with other sites full of stories and other scary stuff you know. Cut Derp some slack.

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  • ILikePeas

    If it isn’t too much Mr. Derp, may I make a suggestion on how to weed out the crap from the creep? A simple forum could be used instead of the current submission system, or in conjunction. Here authors would put their work up for scrutiny before it sees the main page.

    I’d know I would love that. Terror Tortellini is too easy to ignore and a bit discouraging to newer writers from how slow people there respond.

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    • http://www.creepypasta.com derpbutt

      It’s been explained before as to why (you can see the full explanation on suggestion box), but this will never happen.

      I’ve linked TT from the main menu, so hopefully more people will use it. Of course, it’s a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy that you’ve got there – if you don’t post because it’s slow, it will never become more active.

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  • lollipop_gestapo

    Hey, happy to hear you’ve recovered enough to work on this! Hope there are no complications and your road to a full recovery is successful

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  • osama was a hero

    Is he still alive?

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  • Richy Twitch

    Hello derp, I’m currently working on a series of CreepyPasta hunter stuff and I was wanting to know if I could have your permission to hunt a potential survivor of the Russian Sleep Experiment. I was going to make the survivor a Russian militant officer who stole a canister holding the gas that was used in the experiment and he uses it on himself to try to stay awake during a night watch, but depletes his supply of the gas and acts similarly to the test subjects. I wanted to have your permission to hunt this monster.

    If not, I totally understand and appreciate it!

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    • http://www.creepypasta.com derpbutt

      Please read the FAQ.

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This website contains fictional content that may be too scary for younger readers. Please verify that you are either at least 18 years of age or have parental permission before proceeding.