Sarah O’Bannon
Add this post to your list of favorites!Coffins used to be built with holes in them, attached to six feet of copper tubing and a bell. The tubing would allow air for victims buried under the mistaken impression they were dead. Harold, the Oakdale gravedigger, upon hearing a bell, went to go see if it was children pretending to be spirits. Sometimes it was also the wind. This time it wasn’t either. A voice from below begged, pleaded to be unburied.
“You Sarah O’Bannon?” Yes! the voice assured.
“You were born on September 17, 1827?”
“Yes!”
“The gravestone here says you died on February 19?”
“No I’m alive, it was a mistake! Dig me up, set me free!”
“Sorry about this, ma’am,” Harold said, stepping on the bell to silence it and plugging up the copper tube with dirt. “But this is August. Whatever you is down there, you ain’t alive no more, and you ain’t comin’ up.”
Sarah O'Bannon,
She could’ve been in a coma all that time… But it’s said that the only spirits that need to ask for permission to join you are evil spirits, too…
Anonymous(Quote)
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A coma without food? That’s a bit impossible.
Endoplasmic Reticulum(Quote)
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Dude/Chick, In a coma for 100 years???
Furnonymous(Quote)
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He said it’s august, so presumably it meant 7 months later. Still impossible to be in a coma that long without food/water.
RICH(Quote)
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Even people in comas need to eat. Today we use feeding tubes. That bitch dead.
Anonymous(Quote)
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She could’ve survived on insects and prevailing moisture, right? xP I’m not so good with science. Maybe she just noticed the string for the bell after 7 months. Derp.
Purple Frog(Quote)
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That tricky fucking whore. Not on Harold’s watch, bitch.
Burt Reynolds(Quote)
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This fucking comment made my day!
AnonPasta(Quote)
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Oh fuck I lol’d, hard.
Anonymous(Quote)
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I can only imagine Burt Reynolds saying this in his voice which only makes it more hilarious
Anonymous(Quote)
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Poor zombie ;_;
anon(Quote)
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These ones make me laugh really, really hard.
I have no idea why.
Anon(Quote)
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because it was clearly supposed to be funny.
Anon(Quote)
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Holy shit, a smart guy in a scary story.
It’s a sign of the end.
Just a Girl(Quote)
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How could he tell if she was a spirit/zombie if she was BORN september 17, 1827 and died febuary.it makes perfect sence. she was born and they thought she died, so how is he smart? that means he’s murderer.
Daniel O’Briant(Quote)
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If it was August then she would have been buried for 6 and a half months she would’ve been dead now
Anonymous(Quote)
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It says when she was born and when she died on her gravestone….
Anonymous(Quote)
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it says she died on February 19th, and its august now. so she would’ve been buried for 6 and a half months…
She’s dead…
Anonymous(Quote)
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@Daniel O’Briant:
He asked if she was born Sept. 17, 1827 to confirm that it was the one they had placed in the ground (The parents would know their daughter/husband would know his wife).
He cites the date she was buried because it’s been half a year since she was buried. She’s obviously died in that time if she were buried alive.
Aphia(Quote)
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@Aphia
okay, then it was a simple misunderstanding. still a good short short story.
Daniel O’Briant(Quote)
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I can’t believe I didn’t get this one for two months.
Dammerung(Quote)
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Hey…hey…/win.
Mishramir(Quote)
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FUCK YEAH! Harold taught that bitch a lesson.
Anonymous(Quote)
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i still dont get it…
Dee(Quote)
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It was over half a year since the girl died so she wouldv’e had to die or be some undead creature……. duh
Jane_The_Killer(Quote)
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YOU GO HAROLD.
come on she was under there for like more than a year.
leigh.(Quote)
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The way Harold tells the bitch to die brings a smile to my face.
Ah, quainte old words!
Royal-Sovereign(Quote)
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HAROLD ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Having people in these stories not be so stupid is really refreshing.
emogirl(Quote)
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What a badass.
Anonymous(Quote)
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I sure taught that bitch, amirite guys?
Harold(Quote)
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Shut up Harold. I ain’t forgotten about when you did that to me four years ago. You’re lucky I got out the way I did.
Swirly Head Man(Quote)
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Must read pasta!
Orson(Quote)
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hoo-rah
*gives harold a cookie* :3
Ash(Quote)
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harold you lunatic let me out of here!
Sarah O’Bannon(Quote)
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Now, I was buried alive 1867. I still cry wishing someone would save me…. Please…. It’s cold…
Harold(Quote)
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No means no, ma’am.
Harold(Quote)
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all the internetz are belong to Harold
/b/(Quote)
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Harold…
Did you ever know that your my Hero? And everything i would like to be? i can fly higher than an eagle. ‘Cause you are the wind beneath my wings
some guy(Quote)
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Sounds like Harold knows how to lay down the law.
Chris(Quote)
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Hey Harold, would you mind if I had your babies?
You don’t have a choice in the matter anyways.
Kudos for screwing the bitch over.
BonerFruit(Quote)
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