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Sakonia



Estimated reading time — 5 minutes

January 1st, 1786
1st Entry

My name is James Hawk. I am an English explorer. This is the log of my ship, the Dasadania.

Today, we set sail from Callorack Island, with fresh provisions and repairs. Our objective is simple; to find new islands, or possibly continents, for the Queen. Her majesty has commissioned us to find one island in particular, though; the island known as Sakonia. Why exactly Her Majesty wants us to find this one island is unclear to me; I do not ask questions, though. I simply do as I am told. Callorack Island is, supposedly, close to Sakonia, and so that is the starting point of our expedition for Sakonia. We have already located several other exotic islands. This will be our last island. After this we will return to England. I must end this entry now, for I am required on deck.
James Hawk.

January 2nd, 1786;
Today, I had a most unsettling experience down in the hold. I had gone down to bring up certain objects of dubious legality when there was a thump ahead in the shadows. This in itself was neither disturbing nor unusual; it could be a barrel that fell over, the cat we kept down there to keep out the rats, or, heavens forbid, a rat itself. As I stepped forward, lantern lit, to check, I discovered that it was, in fact, none of these. Nothing was visible within the shadows, or the section, when my lantern chased them away. I looked up in time to see something darting around the crates where I could not follow. I stepped forward, noticing a small white patch of fur, stained with blood. Shifting the crates, I discovered a shocking sight: nothing. Whatever it was, it was long gone, and so, it seemed, was the cat.

January 3rd, 1986;
Today, I am proud to announce that we have sighted what we believe to be Sakonia. It looks like a quite nice place to relax; Perhaps that is why the Queen wishes us to find it. On a rather more grim note, the steersman, Alexander, has gone missing. This leaves us a hand short. We are conducting a search of the entire ship tonight.

January 4th; 1786
Today, I am the herald of tidings both good and bad. The good news is that we have found Alexander in the hold, unconscious. The bad is that he appears to have come down with a fever of sorts. Upon revival, he began shouting and screaming, and now refuses to steer us into the island. Exactly why he does not want to land there is unknown; he simply refuses to move, shouting at us. What he is saying is both disturbing and cryptic; he speaks of the one-eyed torturer, the beast in the hold and other nonsense. However, as long as he remains in such a state, we can not steer into the island. Unfortunately, this is the least of our problems with him. He has injured himself and written cryptic messages in his own blood. The strangest message he has written, however, is “Croatoan > Roanoke < Croatoan.” We do not understand what he means by this, although we do know that Croatoan and Roanoke are two islands discovered years back. However, Alexander has, to the extent of our knowledge, never heard of this.

January 5th; 1786
Today, we woke to the crashing of rocks and wood. We all rushed on deck to discover a grim sight. Alexander had lasher the tiller and wheel in the direction of the island before winding his Crucifix tightly around his hand and committing suicide with a knife. The ship had driven straight into Sakonia. Nobody has been injured, other than Alexander. We are fortunate. After we have salvaged any supplies that we can, we will go ashore.

January 6th; 1786
Today, we went ashore. The island is a pleasant enough place; however, there is a vague unease about the place. We will set camp and sleep on the shore of the island tonight. We have committed Alexander’s body to the sea. The crucifix was in a death grip about his hand, so we simply left it there. Oddly, Alexander had carved a message into his own flesh before he killed himself; It simply said “He comes.”

The island is rather strange; although it is a tropical paradise, I have heard no birds or any other animals. The trees rustle and sway as though in a wind, and yet the wind is blowing in a different direction. We will discover more in the morning.

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January 7th; 1786
Today, we went further inland. The eerie silence continues, save for the occasional noise in the distance; we are unsure what they are, but they are certainly not of natural causes. We are not alone. The word “Croatoan” has been carved into several trees we have passed so far; who carved them? what does Croatoan mean? In any case, our destination is the summit of the mountain on the island, where we will stake our claim for England. This search party, me included, consists of 4 of our 8 man crew. The rest of the crew are back at the landing site, repairing the ship.

January 8th; 1786.
Today, I awoke to find out that one of the other three men was gone. His tent was normal, his sleeping bag was ruffled like he had risen early, and there were no signs of trouble. He was simply gone. Whether he was taken by means of force or simply got up and left for reasons known only to himself remains a mystery. However, it is my personal belief that if he had left voluntarily, he would have taken his equipment with him. We will continue towards the mountain and hope to find the missing man on the way.

January 9th; 1786
Today, I awoke to find everything normal. Nobody had vanished during the night. This is a good sign. However, Mandolin, a crewman, reported hearing “strange noises” and seeing “strange visions” during the night. I believe he was dreaming. I sleep lightly, and I heard nothing, I saw nothing, and I am starting to believe the other two men are crazy, or extremely paranoid. I, however, remain cool; I have been on too many expeditions to let tales of spooks and ghouls frighten me. We will press on.

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January 10th; 1786
Today, we found the missing man’s body. He was naked, lying in a clearing, his eyes wide open and his mouth in an eternal scream. No cause of death is apparent. I mentioned earlier that I would not quit; I retract this. We are going back to the landing site and getting off Sakonia.

January 11th; 1786
We are now back at the landing site. Nothing is here; The tools of the other 4 men are still here, but the men themselves are long gone. The ship is also gone; the crew appears to have repaired it and left. A little further exploration turned up a note. The note said “We are getting off the island. The night is dangerous; DO NOT GO TO SLEEP. Build a raft and get off Sakonia. Now. May God have mercy on your soul should you remain. If you hear dru-” The rest of the letter was gone. Needless to say, we have begun construction of a raft; night is fast approaching. Should the rest of the crew be believed, tonight will be a dangerous one. We will keep watch.

January 11th, Night; 1976
It is now night, I heard some of the strange sounds and saw some of the visions mentioned by Mandolin. They were of the most disturbing variety. One thing I saw was the missing crew member, walking about; He came to the shoreline and lay down as if sleeping. Then he was dragged away by an unseen force backwards into the forest. Another was that, the moment the sun went down, a deep blackness began spreading across the woods. Screams and howls, as well as other animal noises, begun to reach our ears. I kept watch while the other two built more of the raft; Then, extremely disturbing noises reached our ears, just as the blackness hit the edge of the woods. Agonized screams rang out. Crying and thumps began. Then, suddenly, we began hearing thuds. Drums. They were far away in the jungle when we first heard them, but they are getting closer and closer. The note mentioned dru-. I think it must have meant drums. We must get off the island; the drums are now past our last campsite. The raft is almost finished. The drums are coming; they’re speeding up. They’re almost out of the woods. They’re out of the

This is the last journal entry. The rest of the pages are blank.

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117 thoughts on “Sakonia”

  1. Not the best story on here, but definitely not the worst. I’m ignoring a lot of the grammatical errors simply because it was written by a 19th century semen, who probably wasn’t formally educated. Either way, grammar issues or no, it was a chilly story. Just creepy enough to want to get to the end of it, which was a predictable ending, but there wasn’t much other way for it to end.

  2. I didn’t feel like it historically depicted a person from that time well. The language, lack of historical context, and the writing all made it hard for me to enjoy the story. Like the concept though.

  3. I gotta say – you use semicolons way too much. And not always correctly. It made for a lot of really awkward sentences, which kind of killed the mood for me. Also, I think that if people are going to write stories in the journal style, they should do it right. I couldn’t find this compelling as a captain’s log because it contained no other captain-y details: navigational notes, records of ship’s duties, etc. I wish there had been more included to deepen the immersion. But overall I enjoyed it.

  4. the drums are getting louder, cant you hear them , ra ta ta ta
    ra ta ta ta ra ta ta ta RA TA TA TA RA TA TA TA RA TA TA TA

    ITS THE HEARTBEAT OF A TIMELORD!

  5. Fail..
    January 3rd, 1986; <– (1986 wut?)
    Today, I am proud to announce that we have sighted what we believe to be Sakonia. It looks like a quite nice place to relax; Perhaps that is why the Queen wishes us to find it. On a rather more grim note, the steersman, Alexander, has gone missing. This leaves us a hand short. We are conducting a search of the entire ship tonight.

  6. Somebody has been drinking the saltwater.

    Also, “hear dru-” that couldn’t have been more obvious and overused. It not like it’s going to be “hear druids chanting”.
    Why would the ship driver have not heard of the two islands; His job is sailing to islands.
    If this island has a name and approximate location then somebody has probably been to it before. They’d be killed and noone would know of the island, or they would escape and either tell everyone to not go there or never talk about it.
    if the island from “Lost” is the last one on there trip and people had been to both it and their start island and relised how close they were, then someone has probably found all the other islands they went to already.

    I liked it. But it would have been better if the background was closer to “our steersman went crazy, crashed us into a island, and no crazy stuff is happening”.

  7. quit bitching about the ending. When you’re being killed by a demon or some shit your first priority is not writing in your journal.

  8. i agree the story was good i would have liked to find out what the words ment who was banging the drums y the queen wanted that island but unless u write a follow up we’ll never now ending was a bit iffy not my taste in endings and i wish i could she the one eyed torture unless thats a meta-fore for dick or something lol good concept bad ending

  9. Why would somebody keep writing into his diary when killer-drums are coming closer to him AND his companions are working on the raft for all of them to escape? A little coop would be nice…

  10. suddenly, bananas! THOUSANDS OF THEM. i managed to take the almost complete raft and push off just out of reach before the tide carried me and our cabin boy lucifer away the bananas hopped towards us only to sink before suddenly…. PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!

  11. SHIT

    DIRECTLY AFTER READING THIS I HEARD EERIE FLUTE SOUNDS OUTSIDE MY HOUSE

    The author has managed to freak me out at 4:34 AM. Thank you.

    6/10. This was bad altogether though. I died inside at the Zalgo thing. :c

  12. And sorry for double post, but whenever I visualize the island as I visualize things I read, it’s always the treasure island from Fable 2, and that place now creeps me out.

  13. But who was hold monster?

    Seriously, they never did explain that. Maybe it was an insurance policy in case they used the ship to get off the island, and that’s a hint for the fate of the other crew members: escaped, then got eaten.

  14. Anonymous Stranger

    Late 18th Century?
    Active King: George the 3rd.
    Active Queen: Sophia Charlotte.
    Whoever said that there wasn’t a queen during that time needs a history lesson.

  15. Anonymous Stranger

    Late 18th Century?
    Active King: George the 3rd.
    Active Queen: Sophia Charlotte.
    Whoever said that there wasn’t a queen during that time needs a history lesson.

  16. supposedly takes place in 1786, but was written like somebody in the 21st century pretending to be from 1786. try harder on the language use. (and yes, it did bother me that much. ruined the story imo)

  17. “1. In these journal entry type pastas, i read over the years/dates to see how many days have passed. I found it a little distracting when the years kept being typo’d two hundred years early to the 1900s.”

    It was not a typo.

  18. “Cool” doesn’t strike me as an anachronism, it’s used in the sense of ‘cool-headed’ rather than ‘awesome’. Sleeping bags and dates in the 1970s/80s, however, are, unless there was intended to be a LOST reference in there. All in all, apart from a few minor consistency/chronology errors (which may be explained), tasty pasta.

  19. lol @ idiots expecting better writing in a “journal entry” formatted story.

    I really liked it, despite the horror clichés.

  20. Nice, unsatisfying ending though. You should refrain from using words like “cool” or American spelling (I think you used some) when writing in Old British English.

  21. 1. In these journal entry type pastas, i read over the years/dates to see how many days have passed. I found it a little distracting when the years kept being typo’d two hundred years early to the 1900s.

    2. As Captain of a ship in the 1700s and commissed by the Queen herself (pretending there was a reigning queen during this period), narrator’s language strangely does not fit his character.

    Good suspense build-up though. Enjoyable pasta but could be improved in terms of language/style usage.

  22. Cornyish / inconsistent for January 5th, royal English around then were notably Anglican, rather Catholic. All in all i like, tho

  23. The constant format changes in the headings of the entries bugged me even more than the typos with the year.

    Also, it does seem to be trying to fit too much in, now that I think about it.

  24. I’m so sick of these Roanoke Island mysteries. The colony didn’t just up and disappear, Croatan (not Croatoan) is the name of the local Native American tribe, my ancestors. They inter-married with the Roanoke Island colonists, because the colony couldn’t sustain itself and the tribe created from their offspring is the Lumbee.

    There is no mystery, no magic voodoo, no SciFi channel movie with Adrian Paul about ghosts. They left the god damned island, because they were invited to live with the Croatan.

  25. I remember reading in a book a long time ago, that there was some English resistance party stationed on an island. There were over 300 men, women, and children. However, they vanished. Completely gone. Absolutely no trace of them leaving, they were just gone. On a single tree, in the forest, the word ‘Croatoan’ was carved into a tree. Nobody knows what it means. However, before you buy a gun and order custom-made padlocks for all your doors, let me assure you that this ‘ship’ story is fake. I think that they are taking something mysterious and blowing it up. Also, as everyone knows, everything on Creepypasta.com is fake. Makes for a good read though.

  26. BUT WHO WAS DRUMS? Also, killer natives don’t give you terrible visions. Even if they manage to slip you some kind of natural psych drug, you would only see the inside of your own mind.

  27. FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC. I fucking loved this pasta. This doesn’t happen very often. The ties to Roanoke and Croatoan were flawless, and the errors with the time period can be overlooked, as can be the little flaws like the sleeping bags. I loved the ambiguity of the monsters. As any intelligent writer knows, the scariest things in life are the things that we don’t see.

  28. Ţ̧̛̫̙̤̪̬̭͚̝̬̝̹͉̩̺̱͖͚́̐͋ͮ̓̊̆ͦ̎͡ͅH͎͕̤̝͙͓̦͍ͧ̒́́͐̎ͫ̀̅̾̌̕͜͟͡Ȩ̛̜̮͈̹̼̘̺̦̭̙͍̠̞̩̬̩̖̳ͪ͗ͨͫͭ͆͆̍ͬ̓͛͗̌̚͘ͅN̨̿̔͋̇̆͂̾͋̏̽̅͒̎̈́͊͌̆ͪ͒͡͝҉̻̲̳̭̯̫̜̞͕̗̪͎̖̘ ̐̓ͮ͐̋͊̂ͯͭͯͯͬ͑͟͏͓̞̟̬W̡ͯͥͤ͛ͫ̀̿͌̏͗ͫ͌ͧ͂͏͏̶̢̬͇̤̠̪͔͎̥̪̪̱͖̦̥̟͉̜H̎̉̔͒͛̇̓̃̍ͣ̃ͫͨ͗҉̭̭̣̹̥͍̦̺̼̲͙̠̖̦̗̗̪͟͡Ô̴̱̟͎̤̫͙̜̯̰̝͎̝̖͉̘̿̏ͬ̑ͭ͐̾́̚̕͝ͅ ̶̨̺̤̬͉͚̻͇̫̦͚͕̫͓̘̤ͤͪͥ̉ͩ̈́ͦ͊̇͟W̴͚̥̙̮̣̳͓̗̣͇͔̪̰̰ͭ͆ͯ́̚A̐̾̌͑̕͏̭͍̫̻̪̗͕͖͚͔̠S̸̒̉ͨͯͧ̈ͦ̇̅ͬ̈͌̌͏̝̳̪̮̦̝̩̲̞̺̪̪̖̮̤̳̯̀́͢ͅ ̸̥͚̪͉͚̇̈́ͦ̇̎Z̿͐̾͌̈ͥͦͪ̈͒͌ͮ̑̅ͬ͏̡̧̘̠̯͕͚̼̜̩͈̕͞Ạ̸̢͈̠̹̺͓̤̻͇̱͖̯̣̘̻̠̗̜̔͋̾̏̍ͣͤͪ͑̍ͫͤ̈́ͥ͗̚͞L̢͓̼̙͕̮̩͓̻͔̹̝̯͔͙̤͎͔ͩ̍͒͒ͨ̀ͅG͓͔͕̯̘̘͕̘ͪͫͫͯ̍́̚͢O̸͛͋̋͋̾̓͗̾͋ͫ̾̈͝҉̞̦͓̟̻̻̫̘̜͙͠

  29. A few typos, the most jarring were when the dates got screwed up at least twice: One entries is dated as being from 1986, and another from 1976. The speech seems to become a little… anachronistic(?) in the middle. Other than that, it was pretty decent.

  30. ZALGO҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑͡… HE ̡̢̡̢̛̛̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎… ̔̕̚̕̚ ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿… ͡COMES!!! ̡̢̡̢̛̛̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎… ̔̕̚̕ ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿… ̡̢̡̢̛̛̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎… ̔̕̚̕̚҉ ̡̢̡̢̛̛̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎… ̔̕̚̕̚҉ ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿… ͡҉҉
    s ̡̢̛̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̚ ̡̢̡̢̛̛̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠ ̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̊̋̌̍̎̏ ̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓ ̔̕̚̕̚ ̔̕̚̕̚҉ ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ͡҉҉ ̵̡̢̛̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋ ̌̍̎̏̿̿̿̚ ҉ ҉҉̡̢̡̢̛̛̖̗̘̙̜̝̞ ̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑ ̒̓̔̕̚ ̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̕̚̕̚ ̡̢̛̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̚ ̡̢̡̢̛̛̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠ ̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̊̋̌̍̎̏ ̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓ ̔̕̚̕̚ ̡̢̛̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̔̕̚̕̚ ̠̊̋̌̍̎̏̚ ̡̢̡̢̛̛̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠ ̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̊̋̌̍̎̏ ̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓ ̔̕̚̕̚ ̔̕̚̕̚҉ ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ͡҉҉ ̵̡̢̛̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋ ̌̍̎̏̿̿̿̚ ҉ ҉҉̡̢̡̢̛̛̖̗̘̙̜̝̞ ̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑ ̒̓̔̕̚ ̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̕̚̕̚ ̡̢̛̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̚ ̡̢̡̢̛̛̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠ ̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̊̋̌̍̎̏ ̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓ ̔̕̚̕̚ ̡̢̛̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̔̕̚̕̚ ̠̊̋̌̍̎̏̚ ̡̢̡̢̛̛̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠ ̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̊̋̌̍̎̏ ̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓ ̔̕̚̕̚ ̔̕̚̕̚҉ ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ͡҉҉ ̵̡̢̛̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋ ̌̍̎̏̿̿̿̚THE ҉ DOOR҉҉̡̢̡̢̛̛̖̗̘̙̜̝̞ ̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑ ̒̓̔̕̚ ̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̕̚̕̚ ̡̢̛̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̚ ̡̢̡̢̛̛̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠ ̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̊̋̌̍̎̏ ̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓ ̔̕̚̕̚
    ):

  31. Maybe its because I’m from Virginia and the whole “Croatoan” story is from here. It was eerie. The exact same thing happened there, men went and then didn’t return. That word was carved by the Indian tribe living there. Perhaps the writer was trying to make some sense of it. I thought it was interesting.

  32. Glad I read all the comments before me. I don’t hardly have to come up with anything for myself.

    1: Lol dates
    2: Lol Queen
    3: Lol 18th century Lost
    4: Lol ending

    It was alright, though. The atmosphere of the whole thing was kinda creepy, and I suppose that was its job. I just didn’t like it. 7/10

  33. Kiiiiiind of a Dracula-at-sea ripoff in the beginning. Followed by a kinda LOTR mines-of-Moria ripoff at the end. Has potential but still untasty.

  34. I wonder if any of yall trolls thought the plot holes were intentional? If you like shit with excruciating detail in every sentence, go elsewhere. I personally liked this.

  35. This a creepypasta.It is meant to have holes. This makes you think. If every end was tied up it wouldn’t be scary now would it?

  36. first of all, the story never states that it was actually the english queen who commissioned the explorer. so there.

    second of all, no matter what i thought about the story, i thought it was absolutley hilarious that the island they were looking for was 2 letters away from being STANKONIA. The entire time I read the story, I read Stankia.

    I think the jumps in dates is supposed to mean something, not just be a typo. However, it makes very little sense that the guy is writing the dates down in his journal, but making no attempt to explain how he knew they’d jumped in time, or how, or why.

  37. I didn’t like this. Everyone’s already mentioned the changing dates, and the whole Queen thing, so I’ll leave that out.
    There didn’t really seem to be any real…bad guys. People disappeared, and there was drumming coming from the island. Is that it?
    Which brings me onto my next point: Too many loose ends. What does Croatoan mean? It’s an island, yeah I got that, but why is it on the trees?
    I get the feeling that this is trying to be all mysetrious, but it backfires when you realise that there’s so much stuff left out that it’s just bad.
    I think that’s about it. Other than the fact that when I read “He comes” I was expecting this to be a troll about Zalgo. Or maybe Zalgo comes out of the woods and Cthulhu comes out of the ocean and we get an answer to the age old question of who would win.

  38. Trying to cram in too much, Zalgo, Roanoke/Croatoan, creature in the hold, crazy suicide, monster island, drums.

    Seriously, just cut down.

  39. As vague and cliche as this story is, I kind of like it. It doesn’t try too hard with details that I’ve recently seen, and I kind of like the fact that nothing ever really gets explained. Good writing, maybe.

  40. I actually felt that this was very blunt. Just like a journal that would have been kept. IT wasn’t like other journal pastas where for some reason the victim has time to write every excruciating detail down into their book. I very much like how it lined out only basic details, very creepy. I don’t mind the typos, nor the date errors because I do that in my own journal all the time. This felt very…. Real O.o

    Want more to nom please. :D

  41. Not a bad idea, but aside from a need for editing, two things really kept me from getting into it.

    First, there are rather obvious plot holes. Why were they sent on the mission if it’s so suicidal? How was his journal found if he disappeared? How the heck did the crew fix the ship so quickly and leave without him noticing?

    The second was more of a literary issue. James Hawk kept me wondering if these were the latter years of Jim Hawkins. Did he drop the last bit of his name and keep island hopping? It panned out so well the first time…

    It wasn’t bad, it just needs work.

  42. The biggest problems I had with this were the date typos (one near the start, where the date is said to be 1986 and one close to the end with 1976) and the ending. The fact that a king was on the throne of England at the time rather than a queen is also a little jarring, but it’s not something a casual reader is going to think about or even necessarily know. I just kind of accepted it while I was reading through.

    This story was, overall, very creepy. Like I mentioned, though, the ending could use some work. Mentioning that the rest of the journal was gone breaks the willing suspension of disbelief by tearing down the fourth wall too late in the story. It might even be better if it just ended. There’s no problem with just cutting a story like this off.

    Also, did anyone else read this and think immediately of ‘Lost’? :P

    Zalgo…he comes.

  43. This story needs a bit more editing… for example: if you are going to put dates for all of the journal entries, make sure they are consistent. We can’t be going from 1786 to 1986 to 1786 to 1976. Unless time-travel is a part of the story?

  44. Miss Melancholia

    This story is chilling. I absolutely love it. I can’t help but wonder why their queen would send them to an island like that. Maybe there’s more to the story that is to be told?

  45. “Callorack Island is, supposedly, close to Sakonia, and so that is the starting point of our expedition for Sakonia”

    How the fuck did this get on the main page when it contains a sentence like this? Durr, no shit, Sherlock.

  46. Well written pasta, generally. Just a quick note:
    Which English queen was reigning in 1786? Elizabeth 1st ruled from 1558-1603 and Victoria ruled from 1837-1901! George 3rd was on the throne in 1786. If your going to set something historically, get the facts straight. Rant over :)

  47. … England didn’t have a reigning queen in 1786, and there’s no such place as Callorack island. I… find it faintly disturbing that this could not have happened in history as we know it. It makes it come across like a message from another world…

  48. “He comes.”

    ҖҒҎҸԆԶᑓϟᐝЉᙰᔒѪՁᓁᕰᓿᘟѺᗥϡϟᐝЉᙰᔒѪᘟѺᗥϡϟᐝЉᙰᔒѪՁᓁᕰ ᓿᐷҦᙰᔒᘟѾ҂ҊҖҒҎҸԆԶᑓϟᐝЉᙰᔒѪՁᓁᕰᓿᘟѺᗥϡϟᐝЉᙰᔒѪᘟѺᗥϡ…

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