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Pitter Patter



Estimated reading time — < 1 minute

Pitter patter, on the pane,
Pitter patter, once again,
Pitter patter, how I strain,
Pitter patter, but no rain.

What so does tread my halls,
Humming low with crooning calls,
Succubae or hellish thralls,
Why for do they tread my halls?

No creak yet disturbs this floor,
No shadows flit beneath the door,
My breath will hold no second more,
Content they seem for now with her.

So frail and failed the loosened cry,
Harsh and drawn the deadened thud,
And now nil remains but I,
A lowly pawn amidst the blood.

Dull crunches fill my coward’s ears
As all I love is torn asunder,
What use have I for earthly fears
What frightens now in rolling thunder.

Pray I the stairs avoid their gaze,
I pray my whimpers pass them by,
Pray I no lust in recess lays,
For further flesh… pray I.

My ears await the hollow sound,
Of plodding steps upon the stairs,
the keyhole and my eye are bound,
I utter nought but silent prayers.

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Creaks clamour along the flight,
Hauling darkness hewn in hell,
Wan and ashen, twisted blights,
Shuffle and scratch before my cell.

Tattered snouts snort the air,
Yellowed nails like daggers scrape,
Bloodied teeth gnash and bare,
in wretched maws wide agape.

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One is like a dream I’ve known,
turned nightmarish in the gloom,
Blonde locks, like clumps are sewn,
A mere mockery of her boon.

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Is that my love, no, no more.
But a glint betrays her band,
I know each mark, and every score,
For I placed it on her hand.

I think my walls home no more,
Im borne beyond in dogged fear,
A grubby note slips through the door,
“I miss you, do you miss me dear?”

Credit: Philip Courtney

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21 thoughts on “Pitter Patter”

  1. really good except for the change in rhyming scheme work on your consistance and keya (the one who compared this to edgar allan poe) take it back it was nothing like the great masterpeice the raven there was no gentle rapping on his chamber door lol :)

  2. Wonderful! Except for the fact that you change your rhyme scheme after the second stanza. You go from AAAA to ABAB.

  3. I really enjoyed this in fact it reminded me of Edgar Allen Poe’s ‘The Raven’

    It’s not perfect OP but it’s still a good read, it needs a little bit of work but hey considering it’s your first post congrats!

  4. Go read some Edgar Allen Poe. So you can learn how a creepy poem sounds when it’s not limping like a horse with a rock in its hoof. Or at least hand this to your English teacher for proofing and take their criticism seriously. Poetry is HARD to do well. You haven’t done horribly here, but the scansion limps and the rhymes are reaching a bit to fit the rhythm.

    Keep practicing, you’ve got the idea in general but you need to polish your style quite a bit.

  5. It’s pretty obvious. It’s just a guy in his house listening to a zombie attack get his wife. Then, all the zombies get to his door and his wife slips the note under.

  6. The dog put a ring on the girls finger? Yeah. Totally. I see it. but anyways, great poem. Chilling. 10/10. I know it isn’t perfect, but nothing on this site is. This is the best I’ve seen so far.

  7. I think the idea of this pasta was well thought-out, but I barely scraped by understanding it and I have a pretty good vocabulary. It was a great idea but a bit hard to fully understand. 8/10

  8. This poem is grand. if u made it into a song…add a phew light drums…a guitar…vocals….bam FAMOUS

  9. I dig the content. My only qualm is that the rhyme scheme stutters in the third stanza’s last two lines, which makes an awkward mental pause, and also the meter breaks down a couple of times, like. Overall it’s a neat idea :) And 95% of the rhyming isn’t forced.

  10. I had somewhat of a hard time understanding in the beginning, but I think I get it. The man hears all this killing and shouting but he is not afraid with “earthly fears” because he knows who’s coming. The monster was the man’s lover at some point before the horrid accident that made this came to be. I also believe that the man is in a prison of sorts, hearing the sounds of the dead inmates and such before she gets to his cell and slips a note in between the bars. The sonnet was okay and the story not having much to leave with it’s eerie audience, 6/10.

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