Overburden

Add this post to your list of favorites!A stone quarry is an awful place to be at night if you’ve got a nervous disposition, like I do. The silhouettes created by the hewn rocks look like stalking figures, and the whole place is haunted by twisted shadows. Even worse, tonight it’s raining. The heavy plinking of water droplets all around me sounds like white noise that’s been turned up too loud. I feel like I could easily be attacked, because running footsteps or even a scuffle would be drowned out by the sound of the rain. At a time like this, these are the kind of paranoid fantasies I don’t need.
I’ve got this tick. I can’t stop smacking my lips when I’m anxious. In fact, I’m doing it so loudly right now, that I wonder for a second if anyone could hear me over the rain. I even convince myself I can hear it echoing off the geometric walls of this place. I know that’s silly, and so I laugh to prove to myself that there’s nothing to be afraid of. Still, I wish Mike would hurry. There’s nothing more eerie than watching the trenches at the bottom of a quarry fill up with rainwater in the moonlight.
I become aware of the crunching of shoes against gravel only moments before I feel a hand on my shoulder. I jump, and the hand tightens its grip. Spinning around, I see it’s only Mike. He’s got a big, goofy grin on his face, and I know he’s pleased by how badly he’s scared me. What a jerk.
Mike helps me move aside the large boulder by which I’m standing. The thing rests inconspicuously against the quarry wall, but if two strong guys really heave on it from the outside, it rolls right out of the way. Behind the boulder is a natural hollow in the rock wall. Inside this hollow is the scared, haggard little man we’ve been keeping prisoner. We abducted him a month ago, on his way home from work. Somberly, I smash his head in with a nearby bit of stone. Mike wanted to leave him here to die of thirst after his family couldn’t come up with the ransom. I told Mike we couldn’t be so cruel.
Mike offers to give me a ride back to my place. I smile, and thank him. On a night like this, I think I’d die of a heart attack if I had to walk home alone. All this skulking around in the dark plays havoc with my poor ticker. And, hell, a stone quarry is an awful place to be at night if you’ve got a nervous disposition.
Credit To: David Feuling
Overburden,


Not sure why this one’s rated so low. I didn’t mind it, actually. Although it should be “tic”, not “tick”, but that’s minor.
AbracadaveR(Quote)
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Wow, one star. How do you even do that?
(The Watchers won’t know what hit it.)
YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE USERNAME!(Quote)
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Not exactly what I would call an awesome creepy pasta. For some reason (maybe it’s the plot, or maybe it’s the prose) that just didn’t do it for me. I like the main character though- a frightened killer who is scared of the dark, although he’s the one that people should be afraid of. This one had some good potential…
FyeahHumanity!(Quote)
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This is cool, def didn’t see that twist coming. But I kinda don’t get it. It just drops off, not cool. Consider revising the ending. 7/10
SomnT(Quote)
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Not creepy. Just a twisted ending.
lee(Quote)
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Huh??! Lol…whats this story about again?? And WHO WAS SCARED IMPRISONED MAN?????
BlueBeans(Quote)
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Nice job! I did not see that coming.
Shauna(Quote)
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I don’t get this pasta… Really. So I won’t rate it.
Konakona(Quote)
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SO WHO WAS UNPREDICTABLE TWIST???
Alberto N.(Quote)
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Why do you guys have to push me around all the time
Large boulder(Quote)
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This pasta sucks because:
1) I don’t like quarries
2) FYeahHumanity! likes parentheses as much as I do. that’s annoying.
3) SomnT is too cool for it.
4) Lee is a dick.
5) Bluebeans.
6)Konakona has Downs-syndrome.
Other than that I liked it.
Kevin(Quote)
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i do not get this pasta at all, It is very confusing
mike(Quote)
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Kevin what has Bluebeans ever done to u. You sound like a jerk
Oreally???(Quote)
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i didn’t like it :) @ boulder, u made the story worth reading with ur comment. thank you, large inanimate object.
the cake(Quote)
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I still don’t trust you, cake, because no matter how convincing you may be, the cake is a lie.
Murderous Dolls R’ Us(Quote)
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This is a great pasta! I’m not sure why the rating is so low.
KarlaRei(Quote)
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I love the switch in perspective from “good guy” to the villain. It’s interesting to see the human parts of the “bad guy”.
The Lone Wanderer(Quote)
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