One Of Them
Any night, around 10 or 11 pm, take yourself to a flat, open area where you can walk in a straight line for two minutes or so without running into anything. Once there, face in the direction you plan to walk, with your arms at your sides and your hands relaxed. Close your eyes, and take a deep breath. At precisely 11:09 and 20 seconds, start walking. Be sure to take one step every second, no more, no less. Do not open your eyes, and do not hesitate. Count your steps in your head as you go. On the one hundred and eleventh step, say the word “One” out loud, and stop. Your breath will catch in your throat, and your hair will stand on end. For the next ten seconds, you will be unable to move a single muscle in your body, no matter how hard you try. After these ten seconds, you will be able to move and breathe again – however, you will then start to feel the sensation of cold metal claws seizing each of your fingers by the base and plucking them clean off of your hand. It will not hurt. You will surely be horrified, but do not open your eyes, and do not move. If you move or open your eyes, all that anyone will ever find of you is your two fingerless hands, severed cleanly at the wrist. Once the claws have stopped, and all of your fingers have been plucked off, stay still for another ten seconds. It may help to count. After these ten seconds have passed, you may open your eyes. You will find that your fingers are still quite firmly attached to your hands. Go home immediately, and go directly to bed. Speak to no one for the rest of the night, and enter no building that you do not consider your home.
The next day, you will have become One of Them. Once per day, as long as there is even a sliver of sunlight, you may point at someone and speak the word “One.” That night, he will face the same trial that you faced. If you see that person the next day, you will know that he, too, has become One of Them. If not, then do not be alarmed if you do not feel hungry the rest of the day.
Posted in Rites & Rituals
July 22nd, 2008 at 7:06 pm
This is one of the extra-specific ones where I can’t understand why someone would go to all the trouble in the first place.
July 22nd, 2008 at 8:26 pm
True, I can’t really see the benefit in this one.
July 22nd, 2008 at 8:37 pm
one of us, one of us, one of us…
July 22nd, 2008 at 9:38 pm
i only did this so that these one of them faggots would show up and then kicked their asses
July 22nd, 2008 at 9:48 pm
So, what happens when the entire world is full of Us?
July 22nd, 2008 at 10:16 pm
Why would you eat him? And what happened with the fingers? Do you get them back afterwards?
This is interesting.
July 22nd, 2008 at 10:50 pm
Not a very good one.
July 22nd, 2008 at 10:52 pm
DUN DUN DUUUUN!
Also, whats the point of becoming “One of them” other than the ability to inadvertantly kill someone?
July 22nd, 2008 at 11:19 pm
Miss Betterdone
we party
July 23rd, 2008 at 12:15 am
i like this one a lot because anyone can do it, the other ones you have to like go through all this trouble just to find some obscure place but this one you just find someplace where you can walk straight for two mins
July 23rd, 2008 at 12:43 am
Miss Betterdone provides a fascinating point. That’ll be quite interesting.
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:09 am
Hello.
Comment Leaver and Miss Betterdone place some excellent questions forth.
I look very forward to your theories.
Finally, I am amused by humanity’s demand for “benefit,” a wholly subjective concept.
Some things change so disappointingly little, no matter how much time passes.
When you begin to unveil what the Darkness holds, you will open yourself to a new reality. In this reality, you will feel an odd kinship with those who have also sampled the waters of Dark knowledge, but you will soon become thirsty for the secrets others hold, as will they.
And then the struggle begins in earnest.
You will soon find yourself exchanging glances with unexpected foes in the lane next to your automobile, at your place of employment, in your home, in your bed, and in your mirror.
The ability to possibly eliminate your opposition is a handsome “benefit” indeed.
But there are always consequences.
Always.
July 23rd, 2008 at 1:14 pm
Consequences? Like, what, that I don’t have to eat breakfast the next morning?
Or will I get FAT?! D=
July 23rd, 2008 at 3:54 pm
You’ll become a pompous self-professed know it all…
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:52 pm
@miss betterdone
you’ll get fat
like, walter hudson fat
July 24th, 2008 at 8:36 pm
Mr. Welldone’s ideology need a swift kick in the balls.
July 25th, 2008 at 9:31 am
Mr Welldone…those adversaries do not appear once one discovers this ‘darkness’ you speak of. They were there to begin with…
July 26th, 2008 at 4:53 am
One.
July 26th, 2008 at 8:45 pm
Mr Welldone, dont make me get Russel over there and kick your ass
July 27th, 2008 at 6:21 pm
The benefit of this one is clear–holding the power over life and death in your hands. I do somewhat agree with the good Mister Welldone.
Once you embrace the darkness, though, there is no going back.
July 29th, 2008 at 1:11 am
How do you point at someone if you don’t have any fingers?
July 29th, 2008 at 4:48 am
Wheat — You’ll only have no fingers if you open your eyes before the professed time - by which you’ll already be dead.
Miss Betterdone — In the spirit of competition to the point of total destruction, when the world if full of US we will become consumed by, as Mr. Welldone indicates, our apocalyptic darkness; our envy for one another will override our judgement and we will end up killing each other off. It will be, to us, the end of the world.
Or at least our human world, as we know it.
August 7th, 2008 at 1:37 pm
This is a good one.
August 11th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
goddamn you guys are retards. The purpose of doing this is to harm others. Not everything is supposed to be nice.
August 12th, 2008 at 7:24 pm
I hate stories like “OMG IF U DO THIS IN THE MIRROR WITH THIS AND THAT AND THIS AND THAT AT THIS TIME AND LIGHT OFF 1000 CANDLES IN YOUR BUTT U DIE!”
Im like “OMG I COULD ALSO JUST SHOOT MYSELF IN THE HEAD I WOULD I ALSO DIE! ITS PARANORMAL!”
why would anyone go thorugh such amount of work to ge tno benifit at all i dont ened to do this shit and i can alreayd point at someone and shout “ONE” and theyll probably think im retarded and thats th eonly numbe ri know and try to teahc me to count past 2.
August 15th, 2008 at 10:56 pm
WHO WAS ONE?
August 19th, 2008 at 8:22 am
Was a good one but, not being hungry seemed like a useless detail.
August 26th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
i wouldn’t like sum1s life in my hands…i also wouldn’t want to be ‘one of them’. where’s the fun in that? if everyone was a ‘them’ there wud therefore no longer b n e ‘thems’…we’d all b the same…victims of our greed…><
if i wanted to kill sum1 a swiss army knife or a ‘pocket russell’ wud suffice…i have things to do at 11:09 and 20 secs and i don’t want to be walking blind for 2 minutes, i live in jamaica…ppl will think i’m mad and shoot me.
that is all
August 30th, 2008 at 8:02 pm
At least by being “one of them”, You’d get a free meal every now and then…
August 31st, 2008 at 5:29 pm
Not being hungry means that you need to point at someone to face the trial of becoming one of them, I guess it’s your sustenance if you are one of them. The power of inadvertently killing someone also seems more powerful than you think. Seriously lol who would want to become one of them, seems like such a downer.
September 2nd, 2008 at 12:13 am
“ONE OF US” means republican and as we know all republicans have the power to kill anything alive
September 24th, 2008 at 6:12 pm
Whoa.