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On the Bus



Estimated reading time — 8 minutes

The streets, roads and dusty lanes of Colombia have been fertile territory for myths and legends since before the arrival of the Spaniards. Tales of ‘La Patasola’, a one-legged wailing banshee that forever sought her child, and of ‘El Duende’, a backwards-footed goblin that led travelers to their doom, nibbled at the corners of journeymen’s ease for centuries. Although these stories mainly troubled those living in or passing through rural areas, the growth of cities brought with it a new breed of urban legend rooted in the primal distrust we still harbor, somewhere deep inside, of modern technology. An example of this is the phantom bus that allegedly roams the streets of Bogota at night. Supposedly, young women who board it alone are found mutilated in overgrown outlying fields a few days later, a frozen look of abject terror illustrating the moment of their last, tormented breath.

That being said, given that you’re certainly not a young woman (at least not last time you checked) and that it’s 5:30 on a Tuesday afternoon, phantom buses and handicapped gremlins are the last thing on your mind. You’ve been using Bogota’s public transportation system for over two decades, and your greatest concern is that traffic levels have become all but unmanageable since the latest mayor took office. However, home is about 80 blocks away, so your only choice is to wait until the right bus comes along. Walking would certainly take longer than putting up with any traffic jam.

When a bus displaying the route sign you’re hoping for shows up, its advertised fare is 200 pesos lower than the standard going rate these days. This usually indicates that the vehicle in question is older and a bit more uncomfortable than most, but no bus rider in the history of the city has ever given a damn about that. Folks that consider themselves richer and “above” this mode of transportation pay seven times as much to get around by cab, and statistically expose themselves to a higher chance of being mugged or robbed. More power to them, right?

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Never one to avoid seeking further discounts, you ask the wizened driver if he’ll let you on for a thousand. The wrinkled, musty-looking man’s eyes never leave the road as he silently takes your bill and slides it in the purse hanging from the bony gear stick. Satisfied, you turn your attention to the cabin; what would make this ride ideal would be an empty seat.

Curiously enough (considering the time of day), there aren’t enough passengers aboard for anybody to be standing. A few available spots are in sight, so you choose one on the left, towards the middle. Both the aisle and window seat are free, and you sigh contentedly as you sprawl out on one with your knee nested on the other. This particular trip should be over in no time.

The driver’s radio is off and your phone’s battery ran out an hour ago, so you pass the time staring out the window and watching vendors ply their wares and car drivers nod along to whatever music they’re listening to. Your position eventually starts taking a toll on your back, so you straighten up and take the chance to examine your fellow passengers. None of them seem to be riding together, given that everybody’s quietly facing the front of the bus. They are also all uncommonly old——not in the sense that they’re all over 100, but in the sense that nobody seems to be under 75. You find this a bit odd, and for a brief moment the idea that you don’t belong there flashes through your mind. It’s a silly thought, but combined with the bus’s particularly strong (although not necessarily atypical) smell of must and metal, it makes you look forward to the end of the trip. Nevertheless, as there are another 30 or 40 blocks left to go, you look out the window again, zone out, and let your mind go where it will for a while.

The sight of Pacho’s bakery pulls you out of your reverie twenty minutes later. You get up and make your way past your silent companions to the rear exit, where you hunt for the little silver button that will let the driver know you’ve reached your stop. As you spot it above the door, you realize that nobody’s boarded or left the vehicle since you got on, which is weird for rush hour. Shrugging it off as an unusual coincidence, you press down on the button and grab on to the

You are sitting on your seat, facing the front of the bus.

What… what the hell just happened? You look around and see that everybody’s still where they were a moment ago. Trying to make eye contact with them is fruitless, since they all seem to be lost wherever it is that old minds wander. The thought of saying something runs through your head, but you decide against it. What would you say, anyway? You were probably so zoned out that you simply imagined getting up to ring the driver’s bell.

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That’s probably it; your daydreams are occasionally so vivid that leaving them is downright startling. Besides, you’re already two blocks past your stop. Call it a “weird thing that happened on your way home” or whatever, but for now you should just get off the bus. There’s no point in having to walk back too far. You (once again) get off your seat and head for the rear exit, somewhat unnerved by the other passengers’ stoic disinterest in everything around them.

There’s the button, right where you remember it. Except that you can’t remember it, of course, since you’ve never actually been back here; you probably saw it when you got on. After grabbing on to the guardrail (these bastards occasionally decide to stop on a dime when you ring), you look towards the driver, put your thumb on the button

You are sitting on your seat, facing the front of the bus.

A piercing chill runs down your spine, and instead of fading away, it spreads through every one of your extremities. It’s not a shift in body or ambient temperature, it’s the chill you feel when suddenly consumed by the level of fear that slightly precedes terror. Something really messed up is going on here. You don’t know what it is, but you want out, you don’t want to be here anymore. A feeling of bitter solitude is now gnawing at your mind; whatever these people around you are thinking, they clearly don’t give a damn about what’s happening to you.

Therefore, you once again decide to avoid saying anything and simply lift yourself off the seat, not processing the fact that you did it with less agility than should’ve been the case. All you want right now is to get off the bus. Besides, it’s already advanced more than ten blocks past your street, which suddenly feels like a distastefully long distance to walk. This is all secondary to the point at hand, however; you have to get off this damn thing.

As you make your way back, an old lady in the back row looks up at you. Her expression tells you nothing, but the way it fixes on you——on your torso, to be precise——as if you were just another chunk of the vehicle further spikes the almost overpowering sense of dread now coursing through your veins. Whatever, you can’t panic, not now. You stand at the back of the bus and, instead of going for the button, yell at the driver. You yell at him to stop, to let you off, that you’ve already rung twice, but nothing comes of it. You curse at him, tell him what he will die of and wish great evil upon his kin, but the door remains unmoved. The man is not listening. Or he doesn’t care. Or he doesn’t want you to get off. But you don’t give a damn what he wants or doesn’t want, so you grab on to the bars, take a step back for momentum, and send a solid kick right into the column of hinges that

You are sitting on your seat, facing the front of the bus.

It takes a moment to register. Maybe more than a moment, maybe it’s a full minute. And as you realize that the bus doesn’t want you to leave, you also realize that your right knee hurts with an unnatural, piercing sharpness. It’s the same leg you used against the door, and now it feels like it’s all but broken. This quickly becomes a distant concern when you attempt to massage it, though, because that’s when you notice your hands.

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These are not the hands of a 25 year-old. They are wrinkly, set with well-defined veins and even lightly patched with liver spots. As you study your hands and arms, cold terror envelops every corner your psyche. You touch your face and feel wrinkles and whiskers that didn’t previously exist upon your cheekbones. Your head is patched with a few anemic strands of hair; as your fingertip grazes your coarse scalp, a spark of electricity shoots through it and down into the most private recesses of your being. Your eyes dry up, opened wide and unbelieving, and you feel a seven-ton lump of horror coalesce in your otherwise paralyzed throat.

You must leave this evil bus, you must leave it at once before it finishes what it’s begun. You carefully make your way off your seat——no need for any further injury——and head towards the front, towards the driver. Perhaps you can reason with him, or perhaps you can club him to death with a flashlight or something, since there are always a variety of trinkets and gadgets at the front of t

You are sitting on your seat, facing the front of the bus.

It takes a good five or ten minutes for you to come to terms with what is happening to you, to understand that your life is vanishing before your eyes. Your hands are now like those of your grandmother, your back hurts from its base all the way to your neck, and your eyes can barely focus on the signs posted above the windows. Even your mind isn’t as sharp as it should be; it takes you a while to determine that you should make another attempt at the exit.

Perhaps violence is not the answer, perhaps you can gently pull it open. Perhaps if you treat the bus like a living, gentle being instead of like a demonic machine it will let you out, perhaps…

The old woman is looking at you again. You notice her blue jacket, which is much too big for her; if it were a blouse of the same size, it would hang loosely off her gaunt frame. A tiny, hesitant tear forms on her frail face, and then follows a meandering path down her ancient features to land on her wrist with eerie finality. There’s a red Totto watch around that wrist, the sort that is currently all the rage with kids graduating from high school.

You examine the door. Two panes joined by a vertical line of hinges, coated on the right by a rubber pad to avoid contact damage. The door is slightly bent inwards, and as you notice this a glimmer of hope runs through you. If you can just insert

You are sitting on your seat, facing the front of the bus.

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WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON MY HANDS THEY ARE OLD MY HANDS ARE THE HANDS OF AN OLD MAN, NOT OF MY GRANDFATHER, OF AN OLD OLD THE MAN BEHIND YOU STARTS WHEN YOU TURN TO HIM AND YELL AT HIM AND GRAB HIS FACE AND SCREAM AT HIM TO LET YOU OFF HE MOUTHS SOMETHING YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND HIS TEETH HIS BLOOD YOUR TEETH OH MY GOD MY TEETH ARE LIKE TINY THEY ARE DUST THEY’RE WHAT THE HELL HOW LONG HAVE I BEEN HERE FUCK THIS I’M BREAKING THE WINDOW WITH MY ELBOW EVEN IF IT BREAKS I DON’T WANT TO DIE HERE NO MORE OF

You are sitting on your seat, facing the front of the bus.

After a long time, you glance down at your hands. They are the gnarled, rheumatic, blood-splattered claws of a hag that’s seen more than one generation’s share of horrors.

A hag? A hag is not the right word. A hag is a woman, right? At least so it was in mother’s stories. Like those of La Patasola. Your knee still hurts, but not as much as your elbow. It feels like it is shattered. Ah, yes. This bus. You must get off it. You know you must get off it now. You do not remember why you must, but it is imperative that you do. It is urgent. It was urgent. You are so tired.

You try to lift yourself off the seat but your knee buckles under your weight; it is by chance that you fall back on the bench. You must get off the bus. You remember these buses. They used to take you to work. You steady yourself on the bench. You will try to get off the bus. But in a moment. You must rest. The bus can wait.

You are sitting on your seat, facing the front of the bus.

You are sitting on your seat, facing the front of the bus.

Credit To – Lucas Llinás Múnera

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42 thoughts on “On the Bus”

  1. Scrumptious pasta! I loved the feeling the first time that we were transported back to our seats. It was a nice, unique brand of of surprise which doesn’t really happen too often. I felt I was suddenly on an adventure! Thank you for your story!! Very good!

  2. pretty impressive. Though, if you’re ageing in the bus, would the old people on the bus have died by now cause you’re like, ageing?

  3. No, it doesn’t have to literally be “you”, but it removes you from the story which is the entire point of second person.
    That being said, the story would read much better with sexual descriptors left out; although I think the reason they were included was to instill a false sense of security which was removed when the bus ride turned out the way it did, even though “you” didn’t have to worry about it; not being a young woman.

  4. Why are some people getting offended about the fact that they are female but the protagonist isn’t? I’m a ‘young woman’ and you don’t see me getting all stressed about it!

    With a second person story, the ‘you’ doesn’t have to be literally you. If anything it makes it easier to put yourself in the shoes of the protagonist.

    But anyway, it was a good pasta!

  5. Giant Freaking Lizard-Monster-Thing

    This…was…amazing. I loved the sense of hopelessness. It was really well done, and I just sort of forgot about the whole “you’re certainly not a young woman, last time you checked” part.

    Also, it began to get kinda funny after a while.

  6. This was amazing. After he was transported back to his seat the second time I was like “Holy crap… he’s doomed…” I totally LOVE when pastas make me say holy crap, that means you have surprised me and that, my friend, is rather hard to do. Please continue to write stories and continue to make me say “Holy crap.” I would appreciate it.

    1. Alfred Frederick Dinglebottom

      I think the protagonist is a female on this occasion Faith. Otherwise I completely agree.

      Beautifully written (I normally hate this style) with a good original plot. I actually felt like the young woman in this story and even checked to make sure my breasts didn’t get larger! Seriously very good work.

      9/10.

  7. This reminds me of something by Stephen King. I believe some girl was on a bus and there were no stars out that night. Completely black outside. She gets nervous and notices that the few other passengers had turned to corpses or something. Maybe it was the Tales from the Darkside…some such as that.
    Anyway, I enjoyed this. Very tasty and not stingy with the sauce. :)

  8. This site is going to convert me to the “you” pasta style. Okay, maybe it’s not that drastic, but I did like this. I agree with others that the “not a young woman” thing irritated me, a young woman, but I just disregarded that and went on reading the story imagining that line wasn’t there. I think this would be stronger by removing gender references, which would be pretty easy to do.

    I love the refrain in this, as I feel it really creates the feeling of doom and inescapability (not a word. Oops.) of this situation. I also like how many iterations there are, because it shows someone not willing to give up, but eventually run down by impossible circumstances.

    Given the comments, I guess this is a classic pasta. I can see why! Thanks for the great read!

    1. Upon looking into it, yes – this has been posted before, but it’s attributed to this same author. Please don’t accuse people of stealing from themselves, it makes you look silly.

  9. Oh dear, considering I DO live in Bogotá and I usually have to take a bus in order to get from my school to my home since Transmilenio doesn’t work for me (closest station is 20 blocks away)…

    I thank you for my newly found bus phobia, what are 20 blocks if you run anyway?

  10. Guys this is an old one I remember reading this like 1 or 2 years ago. Is tb is story the most favored then? And that’s why it’s up here again?

    1. If we don’t have a well-known story archived and the author would like it here, I have no problem posting it.

      It’s a bit strange to me that people have such a problem discerning that this website =/= the entire internet. Sometimes we don’t have a particular work (especially if it originated during the time this site was inactive) and I want to remedy the issue.

  11. it is creepy… Point of view problem aside, it is always creepy when you find the main character cannot leave his nightmare over and over again…it’s like pointless effort…to eternity….

  12. I really liked this one. It isn’t like most pastas. Instead of using monster, bugs, or killers you used something that is scarier. Hopelessness. Like string theroy, The land of white and black, and The egg. It uses things that are truly terrifying. I find losing hope scary than some killer. But, there is a big problem. 2nd person. Yeah I’m not 25 year old Hispanic man from Columbia. But, I don’t think it can be change ethier or it loses it’s punch. I don’t know I’m a bit torn.

    8/10

  13. All around me are familiar faces
    Worn out places, worn out faces
    Bright and early for their daily races
    Going nowhere, going nowhere
    Their tears are filling up their glasses
    No expression, no expression
    Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
    No tomorrow, no tomorrow
    ———————————
    Pretty Good story :)
    You should try to make more good stories if you can.

  14. First of all, you’re telling me I’m NOT a young woman? Then where did these boobs come from?!! Seriously though, that part was totally unnecessary to the story and will likely peeve off any female that should happen to read. Secondly, this is old…no pun intended. I remember reading it years ago. Give us something new or GET OFF THE BUS!

  15. This pasta didn’t creep me out, but it did give me a strong sense of doom. After the second time the guy found himself sitting down, the whole pasta started to take on a sense of hopelessness. That being said, I enjoyed this one.

  16. I heard this story on YouTube. The pictures during the reading were creepy. It’s a good thing I won’t ever travel out of the country. I wouldn’t want to accidentally end up on that bus. That’s scary.

  17. Second person is tough to pull off, but this is one of the finest examples of it I’ve seen. I do happen to be a 25 year old guy, so it has that advantage, but I found the reactions and mindset to be relatable and the premise to be pretty horrifying. Awesome!

    1. I enjoyed the story, the claustrophobic atmosphere gave it a nice creepiness.

      But I’m here mostly because this comment is genius :D

  18. Not sure how I feel about the second-person used in this pasta… It wasn’t relatable because apparently I’m “certainly not a young woman (at least not last time you checked)”. At first I was thinking, ‘ok… I am a young woman, but I’ll just take that to mean that this takes place in the future’. But later on there were references to the protag (ie, me, you, and any other reader) being male. This was distracting to me given the POV. It could’ve been left at “at least not last time you checked”, and that could mean the reader is either male, or an older woman, depending on how they want to interpret it. The problem with second-person POV is that often in well-detailed, descriptive writing, it doesn’t work well because the average reader may not find it relatable. That’s why I think pastas set in this POV are usually better when kept short and gender- and age-neutral, that way the scenario could be presented to virtually anyone.
    Anyway, I apologize if that was a bit extensive… It’s just that I felt this was a unique sort of ‘you’ pasta and I thought it would make a good example for the problem with that PoV.
    Other than that one thing, though, I felt this was very well written and fairly original. However, since the other ‘old’ people were already on the bus, and the protag aged so much during an assumingly short-ish ride, you’d think the other elders would have been reduced just to ash, haha. But really… I did enjoy this pasta quite a bit; it got me thinking. And I liked the watch on the old woman, I thought that was a nice touch. ‘Don’t believe me just watch’ xD

    1. I 100% agree with this comment. I actually got to the part about not being a young woman (I am as well), and that pulled me from the story a pretty good bit all the way at the beginning, so I had to check to see if there were any comments about it already. If there weren’t, I would have had to mention it myself. Really glad that someone already mentioned it, not to mention worded it so well.

  19. Not many stories in 2nd person, but this one is rather very well done: creepy, frightening, inescapable, brilliant. Also I like that the setting was Bogota and not somewhere over done. Bogota Traffic, I Know Right! Thanks for a great story

    – Kilroy

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