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Noises



Estimated reading time — 2 minutes

Thunder crashed and I sat up in my bed, startled out of a fitful sleep. I rubbed my eyes groggily and looked around the room, then got up and stumbled to the bathroom. As I relieved myself, I thought I heard something in hallway outside my bedroom. My ears perked up and I listened intently for a second, then dismissed it as wind from the storm. I stumbled sleepily back to my bed and, just as I was about to fall asleep, heard a loud crash from beyond my bedroom door. Whatever it was, it was heavy enough to shake the house when it fell. I sat up quickly, my heart racing. My brain scrambled, looking frantically for a logical explanation and couldn’t find one. I didn’t have any heavy objects that were overly unbalanced and the storm wasn’t that bad. I slowly got up out of bed, and heard a low growl, followed by the shatter of breaking glass. I immediately froze, terrified out of my wits. Adrenaline pumped through my veins as I slowly inched towards the door. Once I reached the door I slowly reached for the door handle, then froze. I considered going out to investigate the noises, then realized that’s a stupid idea and why the hell had I even considered that? Only stupid people do that. I then huddled in a corner and browsed reddit until it was day. When I exited my room in the morning, I found my basement had been vandalized and there was writing on the wall in what looked like blood, but upon further investigation, it was revealed to be ketchup. It said LEAFE NOW. I read this and pondered for a while, then went to the fridge, got a bottle of ketchup, then commented underneath it “not very original and your grammar is abysmal. I think you just need to scrap this one and move on to another idea.” I then left the basement, grabbed a can of gasoline, dumped it into the basement, and lit it ablaze. Why wouldn’t you do that, when it’s obvious that there’s something wrong with the house. Like srsly ppl.

Credit: AidenBoBaiden

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10 thoughts on “Noises”

  1. GhostOfSevenEchoes

    This was hilarious. Nicely done. I was admittedly seconds away from being one of those D-bags when I looked ahead and saw “LEAFE”. Nicely done indeed. Thanks for the laughs.

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