It was her eyes that first attracted me to her. I didn’t believe in love, but the
first time I gazed into her beautiful green eyes I knew she was the one.
I loved seeing myself reflected in those eyes, looking deep into her soul and
knowing I was a part of it. It’s kinda stupid, but I even wrote poetry about them. I
don’t remember much, but I told her “There’s so much life within your eyes, and so
much love”.
Oh God, I loved the way the light danced within them. I just couldn’t imagine not
being able to stare dreamily into them.
Now if I could just find a box that was half as beautiful as her eyes, I could stop
carrying them round in my pocket.
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This actually gave me a much needed laugh =)
That escalated quickly.
The title caught my attention, but essentially gave away the entire story. Very predictable, too short, cliché, and underdone.
It would’ve been more interesting to me if you had shown how he removed her eyes/the murder scene, maybe more on her character. Because I feel nothing. Not scared, and I have no feelings towards the characters. It was honestly boring.
Also, I think you should’ve had him keep them in a jar of formaldehyde. As others are saying, eyes do decompose rather quickly, and formaldehyde would keep them preserved. Much more believable than carrying them around in his pocket. I mean, decomposing aside, wouldn’t they get lint stuck to them? Couldn’t he squish them? Drop them? Or am I not meant to question these things? Sorry if I sound harsh, but I feel you could’ve done a lot more with this.
lol funny story
This wasnt scary but it was DEFINITELY messed up! Dark.
Damn… Glad I don’t have her eyes…
a definite “lol, what?!” story. i would definatly not sit down or sleep on your side or something bro XD
what?! lol dude i would probably keep those in a box at meh house or something XD
I thought this was gonna be a lovey-dovey story and thought,” why is tho on creepy pasta?” then read the ending and said,” oh that’s why”
You people and your “facts”…lol
when i read the last line it freaked me out. this one was better then other storys i’ve heard
Eye see what you did there.
Belongs on crappypasta
I loved my ex girlfriend/fiancé, she beautiful eyes. For the pain she put me through, I would rip them out and hold onto them for a bit. I could still gaze into those beautiful eyes and at the same time, cause her immeasurable pain as she did to me.
Lol wut?
She must’ve dumped him, or he got sick of her. He only loved her eyes.
Ewwwwww. Why would he do that!?! He must be retarded. >:3
You pressed enter
too many times.
it made it
hard to
read
Oh god. XD
The giggles. So many goddamn giggles. Make it stop. Please.
Great pasta! ^_^
I read this and I lold so hard .XD
Am I the only one who fapped to this?
Nope.
I mean…what?
“A better last line:
I think I’ll keep them”
Yep, that makes it 10x better
As soon as I read the title and the first few lines, I knew what was going to happen. Still, it was creepy and in some way morbid.
@emogirl, She probably dumped him.
had a good idea and start. But the ending crashed and burned. 3/10
THEN WHERE WAS WOCKET?
HELLO? I ain’t dead just blind, he got me lyke Uma thurman got Darryl Hannah in Kill bill. to bad he was great in the sack cuz then Id kill him….what a man
Ew how psycho….
still, great pasta !!!!
@emogirl: Because he’s FUCKING INSANE?
I like this pasta. I’m a fan of the “lolpastas”.
but WHO WAS POCKET?
It freaked me out.
> Ummmm… If he loved her so much why’d he kill her?
> That’s kind of retarted.
He didn’t love her, he loved her eyes. So he kept them.
That’s how crazy minds work.
Shaking his hand must be fun.
Edgar allen poe wrote a similar short story in which he took his beloved’s teeth.
Similar concept.
*snorts* HA! I read the ending to my boyfriend and he was like “…… what?”
Same reaction I had >_< Kinda funny.
You’d think that someone would notice two balls poking in his pocket? Oh wait, gay; balls touching.
at 33: i would be worried before i read this if someone said that to me
Teeheehee…
Hmmm… When I used to deliver catalogues, I sometimes had a chat with one of the guys on my route who once said to me at the end of one conversation “Eyes are the window to the soul, and yours speak volumes”.
I think I’m a little worried.
I lol’d
Clean, plasticize, mount in modified eyeglass frames facing inwards. No more problems.
Jeez people, stop being so overly realistic abotu things and enjoy the story :B
you have her eyes in youre pants for compensate youre little eggs? >:D
@farthestfromshame
… BUT WHO WAS JAR?
muahahaha me too shortys
my bf has gorgeous eyes maybe i should keep his :P
hey zombie i’ve been blind by love
B-)
LOL so twisted
oww whatever i liked this, so what if they descompose like that guy cares in that precise moment, is like his mind is kinda psyched out, he has what he loves the most of her girl. And i dont think is retarded… more like obsessive.
Like it…
By the way my bf allways says the same thing of my eyes… i think ill buy a gun or something =]
So a guy would carry boobs in his pocket?
It was a great idea, but may I suggest you rewrite it with it ending as, “Now if I could just find a box that was half as beautiful as her eyes, I could stop
keeping them in jar of alcohol”
…perhaps not, but I enjoy your writing nonetheless, PHONE.
I really thought he was going to fuck her in the eye.
im scared people always tell how nice my eyes are Q.Q
he siad he did it for the lulz
well, tis safe to say his girlfriend didn’t SEE THAT COMING…[i fail at humor…forgive me]
I had a hunch this was one of those eye gouge and keep stories just by the title :( The ending could be a little stronger but creepy overall.
What’s weird is, *I* have green eyes, and a male friend of mine is almost always talking about them and how they “reflect my soul.”
Oh shit D:
:P don’t worry ^.^ he might not take them out lol
formaldehyde!
Also, he could have “plasicized” them, like the the human exhibits in Body Works (Worlds?).
Another one of those “… haha lol” ones.
Ehh, it could have been better.
Skull JOOOOOKE!
DO HO HO HO HO
hmmm, I guess love IS blind…
Good initial idea. Could have been executed much better though, with a meatier plot…
A better last line:
I think I’ll keep them
Ummmm… If he loved her so much why’d he kill her?
That’s kind of retarted.
He wasn’t necessarily In love with her he was in love with her eyes. Well obsessed is probably a better word.
Not really even that funny, quite stupid if i do say so my self.
Not even a suprise i knew from the beginning that he would have the eyes with him, No climax.
lol redman.
Let me just grab my wallet… nope those are eyes… here we are!
It’s a fun creepypasta.
However, like other commenters, may I assume that maybe he somehow treated them with formaldehyde or some other cadaver-preserving chemical?
p.s.I ought to try something like that. Maybe I’ll put fake/glass eyes in my pocket just to scare the sh*t out of them with a story similar to this.
Lol, perfect prank!
Cute, kind of funny, but not scary. It is a neat concept, but eyes decompose extremely quickly and are very messy when they do.
lulz
eyes in my pocket
be shame if you sat down
Quite stupid.
Eyes decompose quite quickly, faster than most other parts.
Indeed