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Modern Monster: Frankenstein



Estimated reading time — 18 minutes

Kurt Atkinson was an average college student with a knack for anything science-related, and had wild dreams of one day being celebrated as a hero in the science field, even though he knew that was too much to hope for at this point in his life. Aside from an interest in science, he recently became interested in trying out bodybuilding. Although tall at 6.5 feet, he was very skinny and had no muscle at all. From grade school all the way to high school, he had been made fun of for this, and when he entered college, he decided he would not go through that experience again. He had fewer friends than he did in high school, as most had moved far away, and because of his poor social skills, he knew it was time to improve himself at the college age.

Kurt’s inspiration for finding a path that would move him in the right direction came from his favorite college professor Angus. What made Angus stand out was his chosen subject-matter: Scientific Advancements for the Future. The class didn’t focus on technological breakthroughs, but on new chemicals that were being developed in secret locations all over the world. These chemicals had yet to be released to the general public, but he knew exactly how certain ones were made, as he claimed to have worked on them himself. According to the professor, it was possible to increase strength, intelligence, and many other abilities at a rate faster than anyone could imagine just by introducing new chemicals to the body.

Just like Kurt, Angus was a quiet man who preferred to stick to his work instead of socializing with the other faculty members. He was pushing fifty, he’d been divorced three times, and never had any interest in children. Kurt was convinced that his science lab at the college was his home as he’d never seen him outside of the room. He took mostly night-classes and liked to hang out in the library afterwards until closing time, and before he went to his car, he’d always glance at Angus’ science lab, and sure enough, it would be the only room on campus with the light still on. Although he was an odd character, Kurt had great respect for him as he had a brilliant mind.

A day wouldn’t go by without Kurt striking up a conversation with this teacher, either asking for advice or discussing his passions and goals in life. He took basic science with Angus his first semester, loved the experience, and couldn’t wait to sign up for one of the more experimental classes that the college had to offer for the following semester. Half-way into the Scientific Advancements class, he decided to have a late-night talk with his favorite professor after another night in the very back of the library. All the lights were on in his lab, as usual, and the door was surprisingly unlocked, so Kurt let himself in, finding Angus slumped on his desk in a very sad state, and when he asked what was wrong, the news saddened him. “I’m being let go. The class will not be continued, and I have to have all my equipment cleaned out by the end of the week. You deserve to know that my subject matter hadn’t been approved by the science board, but I thought I’d pull a few strings and move ahead with the class anyway. It was just a matter of time before those bastards caught on, now I’m being shut down and I’ll end up as the laughing stock of the school for years to come. A group of my own students ratted me out simply because they didn’t believe what I was saying was possible. I know I seem crazy to have attempted this stunt of mine, but people have the right to know!” Angus explained, pounding both fists on his desk.

After receiving the bad news, a moment happened that would lead to Kurt’s life being changed forever. He knew that Angus’ strong passion for exploring the realms of science would never pass, and with no family around to care about him, Kurt had to show that someone still gave a damn about his work, so he volunteered to be Angus’ first ever assistant. He would be paid, of course, and it seemed like the coolest job he could land. The pathway he thought he’d been waiting for opened to the unknown, but he was willing to take a chance and walk down that path.

Angus was very wealthy, but when asked how he made the bulk of his money, he would either get very silent or try to change the subject altogether. He owned a large mansion and an old house that had been in his family for generations. He had the house’s entire basement converted into his own laboratory, but he hadn’t been there, or to his mansion, in quite some time because they were both located far away from the college. Since he was having difficulties keeping up with payments on the mansion, he decided he would sell it to the highest bidder and put all the money into a research project that he would reveal to Kurt when the time was right. Kurt was told he needed to move out of his apartment near the college, which he was fine with because he had grown tired of his roommate who he rarely ever saw anyway.

Once Kurt had completed another quarter, he drove far out into the countryside where he would live in Angus’ guest room for the next couple weeks and help out with whatever the doctor needed. Angus’ neighborhood was located down a long, windy path that seemed to go on forever, and the house was the only one with a front yard that hadn’t been mowed in years. There was a forest behind the house that stretched on for miles. After Kurt was welcomed inside, he was immediately taken downstairs to the laboratory. What he found down there made his jaw drop.

High-tech, state-of-the-art machinery and beakers filled with many different liquids were all around, and he figured they must have cost Angus a fortune. All the lab equipment had the same label “Siren Industries”, which is the company Angus worked for many years of his life, and he struck a deal that allowed him to borrow their equipment and use the machines for outside research. Siren Industries had been conducting experiments that none of their staff were allowed to speak of. “Very impressive, Doctor. It’s a shame the school won’t allow you to show any of this to your students.” Kurt said, studying the futuristic technology before him. “The idiot that runs that place can never understand what the best minds on the planet are capable of… but you will, soon.” Angus replied.

“Mr. Atkinson, since you have been willing to trust me enough to pack up everything and drive this far away from your home, I’m going to get straight to the reason why I need you here. Remember, if at any time you feel… uneasy, you may leave and never look back. Are you ready to hear my plans for you?” Angus asked, trying not to scare Kurt away. “I’m ready, Doctor” Kurt said, and Angus told him, “You will not be my assistant, but my patient. You will be injected with drugs that have been proven to be harmless by my previous employers. These drugs are exactly what I’ve been talking about in my class lectures. They can enhance strength, endurance, whatever you want. If you accept, Kurt, I will start you off with a very low dosage, and record any striking results. If everything goes as planned, I will increase the dosage until you wish for me to stop. Back at the college, you mentioned how badly you wanted to improve yourself physically, and with my drugs you can have that dream fulfilled in a week. Well, do we have a deal? You will be paid ten times the amount of our original agreement.” Angus held his hand out, and Kurt said, “So I’m going to know what it’s like to be a lab experiment. Well, I’ve traveled too far to turn back now. I’m in.” With one handshake, everything was settled, and the tests were started immediately. Kurt had always been unnerved by needles, but he trusted the doctor, plus, though he refused to admit it, he cared more about the money than the results of the experiment.

The tests began with strapping Kurt to a chair and introducing a low dosage of the drug from Siren Industries to his system. Four tubes were injected into his arms and pumped the strange liquid into his veins, strengthening them at a rapid rate. The process was very painful, which is why it was necessary to strap Kurt down in the first place. Once the drugs were flowing through him, his strength would be put to the test, and the entire process would start all over again the next week, but with even more drugs injected into him.

Angus found the results of the first test astonishing. Objects that once seemed far too heavy to lift suddenly seemed to weigh nothing to Kurt, as he could lift desks and machinery with ease, and even hurl large objects at far distances. The doctor could only imagine what increasing the dosage would do starting the next week. As the drugs were injected into different parts of his body, Kurt was slowly transforming into someone he’s always wanted to be. He felt like a super-being, and couldn’t wait to return to his hometown, but Angus had other plans for him.

On several occasions, always at midnight, Angus had been injecting another experimental drug into Kurt’s brain as he slept. This was only possible by putting a very strong drug into his dinners so he wouldn’t feel a thing. The effects of these mysterious drugs put Kurt into a certain state that resembled sleepwalking. When Kurt appears to be zombie-like, Angus asks him to perform simple tasks around the house that he does without question, and when he comes out of this state, he never has any recollection of doing them the morning after. Kurt remains in this state a few hours extra each time, and Angus secretly wished for the effects to be permanent.

Angus planned to keep Kurt in the dark about many things, including information about his undying hatred for a rival professor who sought to end everything he had dreamed of: Karloff Bradley. Angus and Doctor Bradley had been business partners at Siren Industries, but the partnership went sour just as soon as it had begun. Their plans for the company did not coincide, and believing Angus to be mad, Karloff abandoned him and took action to try and have him committed for what he planned to do with human specimens. While the attempt to put Angus in an insane asylum was unsuccessful, Karloff was able to track him down to the very university that he was fired from. Karloff lived in a mansion not far from his own house, and payback would soon be at his doorstep.

One night, Angus had a very special mission for his subject. After giving him a big injection, he waited for him to wake up from his drug-induced slumber, then said, “We have work to do, Kurt. A very bad man has betrayed me, and you must make him suffer. Do you promise to do whatever I say?” the mad doctor asked. “Yes, Master. Where is this bad man?” Kurt asked, not expressing emotion, and Angus replied, “In a mansion on the other side of town. I will take you to him. You must use your abilities that I gave you. You will use them to cause pain and death. This man will have… friends who will try to stop you, but they must not succeed, understand?” “Yes, I will kill all who stand in my way!”

Later on the same night, the rival doctor Karloff was asleep at his desk in his study when someone burst into the room. “Rachel, you startled me! What are you doing up so late?” Karloff asked his daughter. “Didn’t Mom tell you? I’m an insomniac. There’s nothing to do around here except wander around in this creepy place, plus I thought you were in your bedroom.” Rachel said. “I’m going over my lab reports, must’ve dosed off. You can spend time with the guards, if you’d like.” Karloff said. “Fine. Why do you need guards here, anyway?” Rachel asked. “I’m in the final stages creating a project for the military, Sweetie. This is going to make our family a lot of money, but if word gets out, it’s always best to be well-prepared during these times.” “Well I’ll leave you to it, Dad. Maybe I’ll start a romance with one of your security guards.” Rachel said, winking as she left the room.

There were four men patrolling the mansion outside, and there were two more inside, plus two maids. Angus didn’t have a well thought out plan of attack, but he didn’t need one, he simply walked up to the front of the mansion, where two guards immediately approached him. “Just what do you think you’re doing here? The doctor does not wish to be disturbed at this hour, leave now or you’ll be escorted off the property!” one of the guards commanded, but Angus just smiled and said, “I apologize, gentlemen, but Dr. Bradley and I are old friends. I wanted to introduce someone to him. I’ve just made a very scientific breakthrough.” An extremely buff Kurt walked up to the guards, and before they could react, he picked them both up by their necks and through them straight through the glass doors of the mansion. The other two guards that were outside had been on the opposite side of the mansion on the rooftop, and they couldn’t pull out their guns in time to stop the attackers from entering.

Karloff nearly jumped out of his seat when his study doors swung open to reveal a very frightened security guard, and gunfire and blood-curdling screams could be heard from downstairs. “Sir, we have a major security breach on our hands! Keep this door locked at all times, and I’ll alert you when the threat has been neutralized!” the guard said. “Just what the hell is going on down there?! Who would be attacking us, and where did my daughter go?!” Karloff said. “When I find her, I will bring her straight to you, sir. There are two intruders, and one is the strongest son-of-a-bitch I’ve ever seen. I don’t know who they are, but I swear that I will keep you and your daughter alive!” the faithful guard said before slamming the door, which Karloff quickly locked. The doctor ran behind his desk, and listened to more screaming, followed by crashing and banging noises, then a few moments later there was nothing but heavy footsteps that got progressively louder every second until Kurt burst into the room and knocked the study doors over.

Kurt picked up the desk Karloff had been hiding behind and threw it at a wall, making it shatter into pieces, then he and his master had the good doctor cornered. “Hello, my old friend, it’s time to conduct one final experiment together.” Angus said, menacingly. “I see you haven’t given up on trying to create super-soldiers, Angus, but, you see, I’ve been working on that very same thing. I’m making Siren Industries like you have always envisioned it. We’ll be working with the military, and you can be my partner. You know, for old time’s sake. I can bury my men, have their deaths covered up, and we can pretend this whole scene never happened.” Karloff pleaded. “So you’ve finally realized how much of a genius I really am, have you? Well it’s a bit late to restart our friendship, don’t you think? I think your company will do just fine without you. These will be your last moments, partner, and you will not enjoy them.” With both hands, Kurt crushed Karloff’s head, and pressed his thumbs through his eyeballs until they burst, and blood oozed out from his eyes, ears and mouth while his skull slowly cracked open.

Rachel witnessed the horrifying death of her father after coming out of her hiding place in the next room. She screamed at the top of her lungs, and then ran out of the room to witness bloody bodies all over the floor of the lobby. When Kurt and Angus came after her, she ran like mad to the front door, but slipped on some blood and fell before she made it. Before she could get up, Angus hit her over the head with a vase, and she was knocked out cold. He took her with them as they made their way back to the car, not realizing that security cameras had captured the whole thing from several different angles.

The chaos over at Karloff’s mansion had attracted lots of attention, and the police were investigating the bloodbath in no time. Officer Stan Raimi was in charge of the investigation, and had been living in the area long enough to recognize Angus’ face. After viewing all the security footage he could find, he addressed his squad members. “Alright, boys, looks like we have a kidnapping on our hands. We’re going to rescue Rachel Bradley, the daughter of the recently deceased owner of this very mansion. I know who one of the attackers is, but I can’t say I know anything about the other one. Much blood has been spilled tonight, but if we act now, I believe I know where the suspects are headed, and we can avenge the deaths of those that lie before. I’m willing to go above the law on this one if it means doing a service to the good people who live in this town. We’re going after two maniacs that need to be brought to justice by any means necessary. Let’s move out, and follow my squad car!” Raimi ordered.

Kurt and Angus had Rachel gagged and strapped to the guest bed, and they locked her in the room while savoring her muffled screams. After assuring Kurt that he had done a great job, Angus informed him that he would be gone for a few hours, but he would be back very soon. Kurt nodded without even asking where his master was going. Just an hour later, he thought he heard the sound of the doctor returning home, but as he approached the front door, he saw red and blue lights flickering through the windows. Officer Raimi had arrived at Angus’ house, and brought his squad with him.

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“Attention! We know you have the girl! Release her now and surrender! If you do not cooperate, we will use lethal force if necessary!” Raimi shouted into his microphone. The front door slowly creaked open, and Kurt stepped out to face the police with a look of pure madness on his face. “She’s waiting for you, officers! Come in and find her, I’ll be waiting!” he shouted back before disappearing into the darkness of the house. “Oh I figured this wouldn’t be easy.

Raimi had seven officers with him, and he figured that would be more than enough to take Kurt down and rescue Rachel. “Alright, here’s how this is going down. Martin, Winter, and Hobbs are with me, the rest of you sneak in through the back and keep your guns drawn at all times. As of this point forward, use of lethal force is officially fucking authorized.” Without hesitation, the group of officers split up and rushed to two sides of the house, and Raimi was the first one through the front door with his men close behind him. As expected, Kurt was hiding somewhere in the dark house, and Raimi didn’t want to stick around to play his games. The first noise they heard was the sound of Rachel screaming, and Raimi immediately headed upstairs with Hobbs covering him while the others searched downstairs for the murderous Kurt.

Raimi fired a bullet at the knob of the locked door, then kicked it open with all of his might and quickly started to untie Rachel. Back downstairs, Officer Winter was looking through Angus’s private library when Kurt grabbed him from behind and jammed nails into his neck. Martin jumped back in terror, then open-fired in his direction. Kurt used Winter as a human shield, then threw his bloody corpse at Martin, who was knocked onto the ground. Kurt picked up Martin and bashed his head into the nearest wall over and over again until it was just a red mess that was unrecognizable as a head.

Hobbs ran back downstairs, and after noticing the bodies of his fallen comrades, he unloaded his pistol at Kurt till the chamber was empty. Kurt’s body collapsed on the floor while Hobbs reloaded, and Raimi came out of the room with Rachel behind him. “Holy shit, that’s definitely the biggest scumbag I’ve ever encountered! He looks dead, but I’m going to put one between his eyes just to make sure.” Hobbs said as he walked over to confirm his kill. Rachel and Raimi made their way down the creaky stairs while Hobbs stood over the body of the monster. Suddenly, his right foot twitched, then Kurt kicked Hobbs to the floor, stood up and ran after Raimi who was firing like mad, but the bullets did little to slow him down.

Rachel had no choice but to flee deeper into the house as Kurt whacked Raimi’s gun out of his hand, then grabbed him and threw him through the front window. Raimi’s neck was cut from the broken glass, and the impact had been too much for him to stand, so he slowly crawled to his squad car where he could radio for backup. Kurt wanted to go after him, but Hobbs got in his way and started punching and kicking him with all his strength, but it was no use as he was knocked back down on the floor from a powerful uppercut. Fed up with Hobbs, Kurt tore off a stairwell post and impaled him through the chest with it while he was still on the ground. After crawling in agony to his car and coughing up blood, Raimi had finally made it to the radio.”

“Calling all units, this is officer Raimi! We have a hostage situation and we need a SWAT team over here now! All my men are dead, and there is a girl’s life at stake!” Raimi shouted. Kurt was slowly approaching as Raimi continued his message, and just as he finished, an ax from Angus’ tool shed split his head right down the middle. Kurt knew he would soon have more victims to play with, but first he had to find Rachel and deal with the other officers that he’d heard while fighting Hobbs. The four remaining officers had been sneaking through Angus’ lab, trying to figure out what kind of operation he was running. The new team leader, Alex, had been trying to contact Raimi.

“Officer Raimi, come in. Are you there? My men have been lost in a mad scientist’s maze down here. We heard gunshots and we’re moving to your location now. Do you copy?” Alex said, hearing dead silence from his radio. Finally making his way out of the laboratory, he ran into Rachel, who was sobbing and trembling. “It’s okay, I’m here to save you.” Alex told her, but just as he said those words, the same ax went through his head and into the wall behind him while Rachel shrieked in complete terror. She was silenced by Kurt ramming her head against another wall, but another officer had been alerted to his position. As the cop was closing in, Kurt tried to pull the ax out of Alex’s head, but it was stuck, so he broke off the wooden handle and stabbed the next cop right in the gut, twisting it until his next victim collapsed from blood-loss.

The last two cops had their guns aimed at the lab’s entrance, and they were ready to make their last stand against the menace. For a few minutes, the men could hear nothing, then, a sharp hook attached to a very long chain lashed out at one of them. The first officer to be impaled by the chain was then dragged away into a darkened room while still alive. The final officer heard his partner’s last moments, then he swallowed his fear and walked towards the darkness with his gun pointed in front of him. Before he could fire any shots, his hands were sliced by Kurt’s hook, making him drop his gun, then he started to back away with fear as Kurt stood in full view, swinging his chained weapon.

Defenseless, the officer ran for his life back into the horrid lab. Before he could get out of range, Kurt launched the metal hook directly at him, which cut deep into his back and made him fall to the floor. Kurt walked over to the cop, ready to end his suffering, but then he heard many sirens from outside, and noticed that Rachel had gotten away again, so he left him there to deal with the others. Rachel was very weary after two impacts to the head, but she had finally made it out of the house just as more police and a SWAT team were just starting to pull up. Kurt reached her first, unfortunately, then picked her up and carried her deep into the woods just as the SWAT van was beginning to unload.

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Kurt carried Rachel down a long pathway that hadn’t been traveled for years, which led to an abandoned cabin that looked like it would fall apart any second. Two SWAT team members, Snyder and Marcus, had run ahead of the others, carrying machine-guns with flashlights on the ends, as it was pitch black. They hurried along the path in the woods, stopping only once when hearing a terrifying howl off in the distance. Whatever ghastly beast had made that noise, it was too far away to be a problem, so they continued onward until they saw the cabin. Although they could hear no one inside, they knew they’d found the right spot and were prepared to pump Kurt full of lead.

“Remember, our target has a hostage. You saw him yourself, so be prepared.” said Snyder as he crept into the house ready to fire.” “No problem, Snyder. That big guy is all mine, I’m ready for him.” Marcus assured his team mate. All of a sudden, someone popped out from a corner and Marcus let off a burst of gunfire. When the two troopers came to their senses, they were staring at the now-dead body of Rachel. “Well nice going, Marcus, you royally fucked that up! Now what the fuck are we going to tell the captain?!” an enraged Snyder said right before a hand grabbed him by the neck and pulled him inside.

Marcus panic-fired before he too was snatched by the monster, and his neck was snapped just as the rest of the police had discovered the cabin. “You are surrounded from all sides! There is nowhere left to run! Surrender immediately!” shouted the team leader. In a desperate stand-off, Kurt came out of the house with two guns blazing, and wounded a few more officers before he was gunned down by the entire force. Before he lied down to die, some of the police caught a glimpse of what the old Kurt was like. The bizarre chemicals driving him mad were finally starting to wear off, but it was too late, the bullet wounds were too much for even his superhuman body to handle, and from a distance through his binoculars, Angus watched his test subject take his last breath.

The corpse of Kurt Atkinson was kept in the local hospital where it was scheduled for cremation. After two days, it had been cleaned up with the bullets removed. Greg, a security guard who worked the graveyard-shift at the hospital, had just arrived and walked up a flight of stairs to the security room where he would spend his entire night looking at a dozen security cameras. He would be taking over for his friend Mac who worked the previous shift. Mac was relieved when Greg entered the room because he had been working for too long.

“Greg! It’s about time! My stay in Hell is finally over!” Mac exclaimed as he stood up from his chair and grabbed his coat. “Easiest job in the world, my friend. Nothing ever happens, so I just catch up on my sleep and the bossman is never the wiser. Better here than at my noisy apartment.” Greg replied, taking his spot and making sure the cameras were working properly. “Hey, you know that receptionist chick who works here? I finally have a date with her.” Mac said, and Greg replied, “Get out of here! When are you seeing this girl?” “I’m seeing her tonight, dude! We’re catching some late-night horror flick. We’ll probably be the only ones at the theater. Things could get interesting…” Mac informed him. “You lead a sad life, but good luck anyway.” “You’re just jealous. Take it easy, man.”

When Mac was gone, Greg prepared for what would be a very long night. Hours went by with nothing but watching screens, and it wasn’t too long before drowsiness got the better of Greg, who fell asleep at his chair. He woke up suddenly a while later, and noticed that several cameras were off. He then heard faint tapping at the door, and when he opened it up, he saw the figure of Angus who sliced his throat with ease before proceeding to the morgue to retrieve Kurt’s body.

Angus didn’t know if Kurt could ever be brought back, but he had to try something. He brought along with him a syringe filled with chemicals, and defibrillators set to the highest setting possible. Locating Kurt’s body, he set him on an operating table and injected his brain with every last drop of the liquid. He then pressed the defibrillators on his chest and shocked him. When there was no response, he tried over and over again, refusing to give up and even crying as he did so.

The amount of electricity running through the muscular corpse was scorching it all over. After some more shocks, the flesh was starting to cook, and Kurt’s burning face was starting to become deformed. Angus shocked the body until it was almost boiling, but he wanted to believe that Kurt was still going to return from the dead, so he continued the process. It wasn’t until the corpse was fried from head to toe that he powered the machine down, then fell to his knees and began to sob in defeat, as he had lost the closest thing he ever had to a son. Smoke rose up from the sizzling flesh as Angus realized that he had to give up.

Just then, Kurt’s hand slapped the table, and then one eye opened to Angus’s delight. “By God, my creation has returned to his master! It’s alive! It’s alive!!” Angus exclaimed. Indeed, he who was once a promising college student with dreams of changing the world had become, now and forever, the monster of Dr. Frankenstein.

Credit To – J. Stan Shocker (Thanks to Paul Tomlinson)

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19 thoughts on “Modern Monster: Frankenstein”

  1. YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE USERNAME!

    No problem derpbutt, thanks for your patience! And yet again, I wouldn’t mind judging,but I don’t think I could give a reward or anything. Thanks again!

  2. YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE USERNAME!

    When I click on the Modern Monsters series tag, this one doesn’t seem to show up. Is it just me derpbutt?

      1. YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE USERNAME!

        Thanks! About the October discussion post, ‘Make a monster’ and who-ever makes the best monster wins, I think you should just judge the best original monster, and maybe some other reward. I don’t think I should be able to enter, as I think that would be bias. I also wouldn’t mind helping judge! What do you think?
        (PS. Please don’t move this to suggestion box or anything, so I can know where to find the answer.) Thanks!

        1. This topic may be moved to November, as I decided to go to a Halloween-themed discussion post for October.

          As for the contest part, it’s an idea, there’s just a matter of time/energy/money on my end. I’ll think about how I could make it work.

  3. Not too shabby, but not very deep. I almost felt like I was reading a picture book. This person does this. That person does that. The cops show up. Then this happens. etc. And so many under developed themes. Finding out that Angus thought of Kurt as a son was the biggest shock in the entire story. Needs more feelings and motives and character development. This was like a description to a producer about a slasher movie you want to make. Id rather watch this than read it. Also, doesn’t Kane have a hook and chain in “see no evil”? But still, not half bad. Keep writing and reading

  4. I have to agree with Mr. Major. I think the big downfall of this story was the sheer amount of information that is stated without providing the background information or situation to show it as true. One glaring example of this to me was the final declaration that Angus loved Kurt like a son, a statement that receives no support from the text. However I think this story could have made the “tell” nature work, because it can read as a told urban legend. That would require stripping a great deal of the specific detail out of this and transforming into a cautionary fireside tale. Because this also pulled it out of the urban legend feel, I would encourage the author to practice dialogue. That is one specific area I felt really pulled this story down since it felt as if there weren’t dialogues as much as there were monologues with another character in the room. Also, I feel like one round of police murders would have sufficed for the gore quotient. Probably could have done without it altogether. I feel like this story as a whole focused on the physical horror rather than the psychological tones of the original Frankenstein.

    Not to say this pasta is terrible or unredeemable. Far from the worst. There were some significant missteps, but I think the underlying concept is a good one. I like the mad scientist/enamored student pair. I think that this could have probably carried the story without the revenge plot, turning it into more of a creepy exploration of humanity, trust, and betrayal. I think there are some really good foundational pieces and characters (though I wished I had gotten to know them better)that could really save this. The premise is promising, but the execution fell short.

    A lot of folks are deprecating the whole Modern Monster idea, which I don’t get. This wasn’t the strongest example, but the concept behind this series is, in my opinion, fantastic. I hope that the chill responses do not halt this project, because I think it could be a really great idea that comes from this. It is something I’ve played with before, which may be why I really want to see this project succeed, but I think the concept behind this story was solid and could have been great, but definitely needed a peer-review evaluation before being posted under this series. Given that this is a group effort, I feel there should maybe be more emphasis on the group editing process to help put forth refined and polished pieces. Because I really think that is the main flaw of this pasta. It tried to do too much and incorporate too many elements to really stand strong. A good, harsh edit would have focused this a lot better and allowed more time to describe and show what is going on, rather than forcing the author to run through so many scenes that there was limited time to really polish those pieces.

    This is really long, and I apologize. I just really want to see this project succeed! While I think this pasta made a lot of “rookie” mistakes, I believe it had a core that could be developed into something really unique and interesting, but part of that means shaving down the pieces not relevant to that core. I wish J. Stan Shocker and all the others involved all the best in future work! Happy writing!

    1. YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE USERNAME!

      *sniff.*
      That was beautiful.
      Thank you so much for your support and understanding! This pasta took a long time for the author, and from what I remember he was finally finished the day before submissions closed again.
      Would you care to email me? You have such a fantastic grip on all this I couldn’t help but feel you’d help this series massively.
      [email protected]

  5. Yea, not really my cup of tea, personally. It sounds like something a 12 year old would write that has seen too many “Friday the 13th” movies. Way too much explaining and using way too many characters. It was a sort of nice touch to name the Dr after the original Frankenstein (Boris Karloff) but a bit tacky at the same time. But don’t let me get you down, you have potential, you just need to hone your craft. Best of luck in future endeavours/pastas.

  6. I didn’t enjoy this one too much, stuck it in the fridge until it almost spoiled before wolfing it down with a bit of liquid encouragement. Despite my lack of enthusiasm, I still found myself driven to say at least one thing: There is a hell of a lot of “telling” going on in this story, but not enough “showing”. A long story like this needs to be powered by reader imagination, not cumbersome explanation. Just my 2 cents

  7. YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE USERNAME!

    Did not even know this had been submitted yet.
    Eugh, I hate to say it, but I feel like if my Banshee story isn’t well-recieved, Modern Monsters won’t have a audience like intented. No offence to the author, none at all. I love every entry in the series, but hey, that’s whats expected of me.
    I really hope you guys please carry on supporting this series! Re-writes are coming!

  8. Ehhh, rather than creepy its a but of an action gore fest, but it is enjoyable, and fun to read. Great writting, do try and step up that creepy factor next time though

  9. Yeah a slasher pasta! *end sarcasm. But, seriously it turns into a slasher. You turned Frankenstein into a slasher. It also dragged on too long. By the part with the SWAT it just turned into a confusing cluster fuck of names and actions.

    I think for this to improve it needs to cut a lot of the slasher elements, cut a lot of the cast, and focus more on Kurt and Angus. You had the possibleite to look into Frankenstein’s pyshici or the doctors, but, no a slasher instead.

    I really hope the banshee one saves this series because I want to work on it again but, after this(and my failure too) I don’t know if it can.

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