Last Hope
As I write, my life is dwindling to nothing, but I need to share what I know. You ever read those stupid ritual pastas? The ones where if you light a candle and sacrifice a toddler at 12:02am then your soul will be torn away but you’ll live forever? This is kind of like that, but less pathetic - less unreal.
It was midnight, and I’d stumbled in after a drunken night on the town. The stairs had presented a challenge, and by the time I’d desperately reached my bathroom, I was throwing up all over the place. Groggy and made tearful by my own state, I lifted my head, examining myself in the mirror and wiping away flecks of vomit. The light was off, but I could still see; had I not been so drunk, maybe that would’ve told me that something was wrong? I don’t think it matters, in any case. I think I’d still be dying even if I had run. There, in the mirror, was my shower. I’m dirt poor (only just graduated from university), so it was a filthy cubicle rather than a bath. And I noticed this mat - this thick black streak laying over the plug hole. I crept closer, still drunk, and pulled it.
A handful of dark brown hair came away in my hand, strewn with reddish brown blood. From the plughole, an eye stared up at me.
I fled, drunkenness forgotten, and hid in my bed, covers over my face and weeping bitter tears, as silent as I could manage. I heard something moving in the corridor and began to pray, but no god heard. My door creaked open, and I heard something crawl in, limbs clicking like some horrible insect. It grunted and snuffled to itself, and occasionally, just occasionally, it laughed in a high, mad, cold voice I can only compare to a hyena. I almost went mad that night, just waiting for it to get me - for it to rip me limb from limb and end it all. But, apparently, it likes to play with its food.
After I finally rose the next day, there was no trace that anything had been there on the carpet. I put it down to drunken hallucinations and moved on. But I kept seeing that eye - that hair. Hearing the laughter, the awful snuffling noise, like something devouring rotten meat. A week later, I broke out into painful sores - like measles, or chickenpox.
Now I’m bedridden. My eyes are sunken, my hair is falling out, and my skin is a mass of blotched and broken sores. But that’s not the worst thing. I can hear it getting closer, limbs clicking, laughing as it comes to get me. And it keeps… It keeps whispering quietly to itself, maybe to me. Sometimes I can hear what it says; sometimes just barely audibly, sometimes as though it’s right next to me. It’s advice.
That’s why I’m writing this. It keeps telling me that if someone else reads this, if someone else knows what has happened, it’ll leave me alone and find them. Find you.
I’m sorry.
–
Credited to bez00mny.
It’s like a second-rate La Muerta Blanca (WITNESS).
FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
… great. Now I’ll be paranoid as Hell the next time I’m in my bathroom. I tip my hat at you, bez00mny.
But for some reason, this reminded me of ‘Lullaby’ by The Cure?
Still, delicious pasta.
I love the description of the thing in the bathroom… It gives me the chills… Nice job! 5 stars.
Awesome ending.
Oooo, I like this pasta.
It’s somewhat creative but it still gives me the chills
holy shit im not going to be able to sleep now
Not creepy, but still good
!
Hey, I like this. Not paranoia-inducing but still pretty ooky. But it reminds me of La Muerta Blanca.
Im not going to be able to sleep tonight. Thanks a lot.
Nicely done.
Win.
DUDE
NO
AHHHH
REWIND REWIND REWIND
PLEASE GOD IF YOU’RE OUT THERE DON’T LET IT GET ME
;-;
i’m not gonna be able to sleep.
at all.
Auw, shit. Thanks a lot. Now I won’t be able to get to sleep tonight. =[
Ehh it coulda been better but it was still ok.
THEN WHO WAS TALKING HYENA SPIDER?
Ah, Crap.
Oh no! Will it fly into my kitchen and make a mess of my pots and pans!?
Hold on. I gotta go take a shower.
this shit will make me more paranoid.
fuck.
That definitely makes YOU a TOTAL DEUCHEBAG!!!
the creature’s description and sounds are significantly creepy, grudge inspired, but somehow the ending doesn’t creep me out. Good writing, though.
It was genuinely creepy with the way everything was described and the whole atmosphere was dangerous and spooky. Now I’m a little more paranoid about cleaning the hair out of my drain…X)
oh that was my dog…
i like this pasta…just pass it on to another person, how nice. The guy probably got eaten anyway so i do’nt think it makes much difference.
Cool pasta! It was well-written and definitely creepy! I sort of said to myself at the end “oh.. another one where the reader is involved in the story by having read it” but it was still VERY good!
One thing that made me laugh though - if you saw a bunch of bloody hair and an eyeball staring up at you from your bathtub you wouldn’t just run under your covers and hang out all night. You would run OUTSIDE and maybe call the police.
Haven’t read a good one like this in a long time. When i first saw it making fun of other pastas, I thought, “hey you better perform”. While the concept was not new, it was a LOT better than that La whatever blanka. Shorter, and more to the point. You keep wondering what’s going to happen to the author and suddenly he/she curveballs the reader by offloading the nightmare to you.
THEN WHO WAS THE GRUDGE GIRL?
but seriously, bring on the freaky thing. And I wonder how it would react, now that so many of us have read this. Does it pick and choose? Does it go after all of us (please no)? Or does it call it a day because technically it said it would go after one person since the details are written in conversational manner?
Hello.
I have not laughed in a long time.
A very long time indeed.
And how I laughed.
I could not stop.
I laughed for hours.
I laughed until tears streamed from my eyes.
I laughed until my jaw grew sore.
I laughed until blood ran in the stead of tears.
I laughed until the tendons in my jaw snapped with a wondrous popping sound and my jaw could no longer be closed.
I laughed until I could draw breath no longer.
I laughed until my heart slowly ceased its functions.
I laughed as my body grew cold.
I am not concerned, the candidate this entertainment cost me was worth the price of admission.
You have my gratitude, dear author.
The body will laugh until the End, and what magnificence it will be when those that cared for that husk discover its curious state.
What fine inspiration.
AHH Great now ill be watching over my shoulder for weeks.
its like you stuck the grudge and the ring together to make something more “meh” worthy.
umm grudge much?
bleh so unoriginal
Nicely written, better then Muerta Blanca
It had promise, but fell short. I just can’t really put my finger on what I didn’t like about it. It just didn’t scare me.
Oh… my… shit….
WHY?!
It’s just Sadako Yamamura without a videotape.
I like how it wasn’t a ritual pasta at all,and by the time you realise it was never one to begin with the clicking starts.
this thouroughly creeped me out
the first pasta to do so in a long time.
good job!
I like the part when it says: “I heard something moving in the corridor and began to pray, but no god heard.”
This is an awesome one.
+20
I can see into my bathroom from where I’m sitting. There’s a blackish thing in the tub/shower, but I’m too freaked to check if its that psychotic/maniacal thing or my cat.
Sounds like The Grudge, ha.
Good pasta.
Now, spread the fear.
-clicky-legs across the floor and starts hunting-
Pretty damn cool. Ending was kinda meh, but overall the story was very well written.
damn… this story thouroghly scared me and ive been on this site since it first started
CUNT
I’ve already a horde of monsters after me. Why must this happen, in the dark, during Earth Hour?
gha! creepy ending..loved it
Well shit.
Story was… ehh i didnt really like it.. it was a little too much like EVERYTHING else out there so i guess im saying it was unoriginal
@ ScaryLarry
your comment cracked me up idk why
HAHAHA i have been looking for one that is being written as the creature is there, and now its after YOU
9/10 minus 1 because now im scared to leave my desk
Shit, I just got out of the hospital because I was covered in hives.
FUCK YOU PASTA
Nicely written, my dear author. I admit to feeling echoes of the Grudge and dear, dear Kayako…but not all are as sympathetic as I to the plight of that poor thing.
It taps in a lovely way into the terror many had of the bathroom drain as children…of what could be lost down there, or what could be lurking.
…After all…we all know that spiders can make their way out and into the tub, now can’t they?
Good pasta.
Though the “creature” was awfully grudge-like,
the end almost made me piss myself.
…okay, maybe not piss myself, so much,
But it did give me goosebumps.
XD
That was pretty good.
The first pasta to ever actually frighten me. I hear those kinds of sounds all the time…Fuck this…
On a different side: congratulations Mr. Welldone. That’d make a terrific pasta. Tasty pasta is tasty.
This might be creepy if the ritual wasn’t getting shit faced and ripping out some chick’s hair.
FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK
I KNEW I shouldn’t have come here at 2:00 in the morning!! NOW how am I going to go to bed!? It was bad enough reading La Muerta Blanca!
It reminded me of La Muerta Blanca, and I think that one is better if only for the reason that it came first. It’s a good story, certainly, and I do like how the writer actually has motivation to pass it on to other people instead.
brix were shat.
even though the whole ‘if someone else read this it’ll leave you alone’ part was predictable.
but stillllll D: D:
Loved it.
The icing on the cake was my fucking cat coming into my room just as I finished reading it.
My heart is fucking racing.
Brix were well and truely shat.
Haven’t read a pasta that has actually creeped me out in a while, but this one did.
Good job.
holy shit i am plugging my drain, bolting my doors/windows and buying a gun.
fuck you.
(good story though.)
Wait… if all of us have read this, then who’s the clicky-thing going to stalk? Poor thing won’t be able to make up its mind….
Thanks for curing my insomnia.
“My door creaked open, and I heard something crawl in, limbs clicking like some horrible insect. It grunted and snuffled to itself, and occasionally, just occasionally, it laughed in a high, mad, cold voice I can only compare to a hyena.”
The Grudge meets Harry Potter, perhaps?
I was in the bathroom when I read this. Fuck you.
damn this would have been scary if it was night time when i read this but it is morning now….lol XD
Thanks for the awesome pasta.
Asshole. Just let me get a plunger and a shotgun and I’ll show that thing who’s boss.
Heh. I love this story. It isn’t real, though, right…? God. I knew I shouldn’t read this stuff at ten P.M. Lol. … No, seriously. Is it?
Someone is bound to read it after me though.
There’s something I never understand about these kinds of creepypastas - the ones where “If someone else reads this, I’ll leave you alone and go get them, instead.” Seriously, if that Grudge thing is going to stalk the guy for a week, is it just going to go away because uncounted people read this story on the Internet? Now that these words have been posted, I must leave.
Ugh. Hubert Cumberdale, you taste like soot and poo. - Salad Fingers
This is just too bloody brilliant.
BUT WHO WAS WITNESS!!
Awesome. Did not expect ending.
THEN WHO WAS SHOWER???
Fml. D:
I’d tap that!
By the end, all I could think was “You dickhead…”
So all-in-all, it was really quite good.
it wasn’t scary but its something that will be in the back of my mind for the next week now…
The “AND NOW IT’S AFTER YOU” ending is officially done to death, but I love the creature description. Awesome use of auditory material. Hyena “laughter” always creeped me out. The random illness was a little odd, but then, the idea that on top of everything else this thing is crawling with diseases does add something, doesn’t it?
I’ve crossed referenced all these people who commented… All of them, plus soon myself, have been raped by what seems to have been a buy cretin. Someone else please read this soon before — sorry, someone’s at the door. I’ll finish my thought after I’ve answered it.
According to all the pasta’s I’ve read today, I’m going to be killed by no less than 3 terrifying creatures. Obviously you weren’t praying hard enough. Cause I’m messing these things up.
wow. another ‘deadly’ monster out to kill us all just like most other stories with monsters mentioned in them on here
THEN WHO WAS EYEBALL?