I bolted upright in the bed not sure what I expected to see, but knowing that something had startled me awake. Moonlight filtered in through the window and I shivered despite the unseasonably warm temperature. After a few moments I heard it; a soft tapping of fingers against glass. Slowly I turned my head to the window expecting to see some horrible creature lurking there with sharp fangs and terrible claws — but there was nothing. There wasn’t even wind to knock the branches against the window. Cautiously I slid out of the bed and looked out the window, feeling relieved to see there was nothing outside.
“Just hearing things.” I murmured coming back to the bed. I wasn’t used to sleeping alone but my partner was away on business. Surely it was just the change in routine startling me. Moments before getting into the bed I heard the tapping again, slightly louder this time; less hesitant. I spun around, sandy blond curls sticking to my suddenly sweaty brow. The window was clear. A still and empty sky allowed the full moon to illuminate the ground below revealing no one or thing outside.
This time a loud banging, behind me; llike fists pounding on glass trying to escape. Against my better judgement I crossed the bedroom to the bathroom, resting my hand against the warm wooden door before pushing gently. A bit of moonlight spilled into the room. Nothing different or odd, nothing jumping out but… I shivered again and leaned over to light the candle I knew would be to my left. The warm glow seemed much brighter then normal and I jumped when I caught my reflection.
“It’s just me…” I trailed off as the ‘me’ in the mirror raised it’s hand before flashing white fangs and shattering the glass.
Credit To – TinyBear
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Thing in the mirror has been done to death, (you could practically make a creepypasta out of all the stories, if it hasn’t been tried already). And this was really short. Perhaps you could have built it up longer, and made more allusions to it being a window, even though that’s what the reader immediately thinks, it never hurts to drive it home.
Beyond those two, fairly minor, complaints, I have nothing bad to say about this. I enjoyed the time I spent reading it, and having the “window” turn out to not be a window at all was a good twist at the end.
NOTE TO SELF: Always bring a flashlight, a knife, a handgun, and maybe a grenade wherever I go.
This was a little quick. No offense but did anyone else feel like that the story was wayyyy to short?
i mean your writing technique is really good, but the story was lacking. i don’t want to be a bummer but maybe you should touch some more scary ground. and the jump was kind of rushed and i was left wanting more.
Hello Tiny Bear!
I really liked your story! I wish I clould write a story in English just like you, but since English is not my mothertongue, it is rather hard for me.You might ask yourself why I don’t prefer to write in my mothertongue, well it’s beacause we in my country think everything sounds much better in English! So I wonder, what is your mothertongue?
i Like this story but I prefer ones that are a little more longer, provide more detail or are scarier. But great story, i’m not a hater and sorry if i offend anyone.
You know, this would really be a good book plot. *approving nod*
da hell man da hell now i shall break every mirror n my house i give it 8.7/10
I’ll be doing a Creepypasta Reading on this on my Youtube Channel! My channel name is Angry Glazed so if you’d like to watch my reading of it, it will be there! I tweaked it a tiny bit but still great creepy pasta!
so did you chose your chanel name or did you let xbox live chose a preset for you?
scary :|
this was short, and it freaked me out.
Knock knock,
Who’s there?
Scare!
Scare who?
Who knows?
I’ts not the best but also not the worst, didn’t scare me thow.
It was kinda creepy, but a little too quick. If there was more buildup it would have been better.
Have an ice day!
You made so many punctuation errors.
This story is bland and predictable. Further it’s a rip my off of many other works that use the exact same color concept (person in the mirror). Because it’s so short it makes it fails to build the proper tension and, ironically, because it’s so long it detracts from some of the creepiness. Sometimes less is more.
I read it in about a minute, it’s hardly “long”, but I agree that the story has been done before although having said that, I didn’t expect that ending xx
Sooo…did ya die?
I haven’t been this let down for the creepypasta of the day in ages.
There just isn’t enough. It’s like a seriously delicious bite of the absolute best ravioli ever, but you’re denied access to more. It’s well-written and all that jazz, but dammit, I’m hungry.
Totally understand. I was nervous that I get too wordy and tried to keep it short. In retrospect it could have been longer to build more suspense. I’m glad you liked it, even if it was just one bite. :)
I havent read a vampy one yet it was different^.^
Those white fangs must be really ugly to be able to shatter the glass like that.
You write well, but this one just feels a little too quick for me. I’d
like to see a somewhat expanded version of this. Mircopastas aren’t
easy, so credit to you for trying. Overall it’s not bad, it just needs more punch to it. One error is your usage of “then” instead of “than”.
I didn’t have someone proof it which I really should have. Basic mistakes drive me crazy so now that I see it I gotta change it LOL. I’m glad you like what you read and I’ll work on building suspense in the future.