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Just Your Average Night



Estimated reading time — 2 minutes

Just Your Average Night
By Julie Oliver

“Ok, time for bed” … is what I said to the empty living-room. It was getting late, and the internet no longer amused me. I picked up my cell phone, rooted through the couch cushions until I located the remote, and turned off the television that had been nothing but background noise for the last few hours.

I made sure the front and back doors were securely locked, walked around the back of the couch, and turned off the only light. A tap on the screen of my phone created just enough light to keep from busting a toe on an errant table leg.

Because my cats have an evil tendency to lie in the middle of the hallway, I aimed the small amount of light from my phone directly in front of my tired and shuffling feet. I’d only covered a small distance before I knew, from many nights of this same regimen, that I was getting close to the bedroom door. At this point my arm started the slow upward arc that would eventually illuminate the now pitch-black opening to the comfort of my room.

The light emanating from my cell was quite dim, and this action had become quite rote, so my arc was about waist level before I noticed a slight variation of the familiar black of the open doorway. At that point, and in a disturbingly short amount of time, five things happened nearly simultaneously:

My arm, the arm carrying the phone, continued to rise in its predetermined arc, having been an object in motion which would stay in motion.

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I released a small gasp and exclaimed to my husband that his sudden appearance in the dark had startled the breath from me.

I remembered that my husband was at work.

The light arc reached its apex on a face of protruding nail-like teeth. A face suspiciously bereft of eyes, with a gaping, oozing, bloody pit where a nose should have been.

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The light went out.

Credit To – Julie Oliver – Grand Pubaa of Shaddow Domain

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Copyright Statement: Unless explicitly stated, all stories published on Creepypasta.com are the property of (and under copyright to) their respective authors, and may not be narrated or performed under any circumstance.

39 thoughts on “Just Your Average Night”

  1. ShadowofaDemon

    Question I know this is very very late but may I ask to make a video on this creepypasta, I wanted to start with a small one and this was AMAZING! I’ll give where credits due, I just wished to ask before I just hopped on. Now note this would be my first video but nevertheless I would love for this one to be my first

  2. Nathaniel Doggett

    I Wish you didn’t mention the monster in too much detail. I think the spook would have gone up a bit if you just left it at “I remembered that my husband was at work.”
    Then we could wonder for ourselves weather it was a monster, or just a crazed person. More mystery and suspense.

    But all in all, I give it a trilby/10. (8/10)

  3. I had to read it a second time. It didn’t hold my attention enough to read every word, so I missed the “scary” parts. I read the good comments and went back again to read it. I still didn’t find it very creepy. But good effort!

  4. I liked it. Honestly most pastas have some cliched aspect in them. It’s all about the execution. Not everyone uses the same routine at night. I sleep with the door closed, my parents don’t. I leave at least one light on in my house at night. Some people turn them all off. Some people like to walk around in the dark, and other don’t.

  5. Nice. Just a bit cliched.

    Also, here’s a tip.
    1) Walk directly to your bedroom. Don’t turn the light in living room off yet.

    2) When you get to your bedroom, turn on the lights.

    3) Leave the lights on.

    4) Go back to the living room, turn off the lights.

    5) Walk to your bedroom.

    Now, no monster’s gonna ambush you in your dark bedroom anymore.

  6. This micro was as enjoyable as a hershey’s kiss

    Small, delicious and leaves you wanting more. Then again you can never say no to chocolate heheh

    Seriously though you have a great style and structure, but try to be more original.

    Write more will ya! 9/10 ♡

  7. Why do they run?

    I though it was scary. If I saw something like that I would swing first and ask questions if I servived.

  8. Sorry, but overembelishing and replacing words from a thesaurus is a mistake. Remember the golden rule KISS.

  9. Hey…Julie? Stick around. I like your style. The sequence of events, the wording…excellent pasta. And micro, too! I’m a fan.

  10. Not bad, but I think it could have stopped at, “I remembered my husband was at work.” Yes, it may be clique but it lets the reader imagine what’s in front of her. Some people would be more scared by a regular intruder, or would think of an image of something that would scare them most.

  11. Ok then…thanks for telling all about your personal life, when to sneak into your house, and what we should look out for in your house. That kinda threw the idea off for me.

  12. The poor protagonist could have been saved if only she had an iPhone with iOS 7, with the brilliant new flashlight ability! Take this lesson to heart, kids, and buy as many Apple products as you can!

    (All jokes aside this was a pretty good micro pasta. It was a nice and simple read, in between some of the mountains of text Creepypasta has had recently.)

  13. Eww that nose sounds soo gross.I would be terrified to see someone with big black holes for eyes-nothing seems worse for some reason.Normal face, but no eyes.I like ur short story.

  14. Thanks so much for all of the comments so far. I welcome the critiques, and thank you for being kind about them. I hope to write more and the comments really do help!

    1. delightfully short and to the point; a bit cliche but hey, that’s horror stories for ya. Good stuff, hope to read more of your work, especially if you stick to micropasta!

  15. That was pretty creepy, especially because I also
    use my phone to see where I’m going at night.
    My only complaint is that it was a bit predictable, what with the husband being at work. That’s been used many times before, but despite that, I still really liked this one.

  16. One problem is that it kind of sounds sort of cliché.
    “Then I remembered that my husband was at work.” That’s a classic line. It’s used multiple times for some suspense. Ex: “I realized my son was at school.” And “But my wife was out running errands…”
    Next:
    “The light went out.”
    It reminds me of kid’s scary stories: “And then the light went out!!” *Multiple voices of children gasping and shrieking in fear*
    You did well, though, describing the husband/creature. I’ll give it a 6/10

  17. This was actually very creepy – I love micropasta, because they are very impacting.
    The way it was written at the end, whilst scary, was a little hard to follow!
    9/10 (:

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