The rainy season began in early summer, and June had been no exception. It did not surprise the man when he discovered rainwater dripping from his dining room ceiling. Shrugging it off, he placed a tall pot beneath the leak and expected it to stop on its own. However, it continued to rain, and before he knew it, the pot would threaten to overflow. He had to dump the water out first thing in the morning and straight after he returned home from work.
Eventually, he began to notice water damage at the source of the leak. The white ceiling had discolored, turning a dull shade of brown. He checked the weather and realized that it would continue to rain sporadically over the next ten days. The man was worried about the ceiling mildewing and becoming an expensive repair, so he called a local handyman.
Unfortunately, the man could not sign to have the repairs done – only his landlord could. It was a frustrating policy. The man called his landlord but could not reach him. He left him a few voicemails, detailing how the damage was becoming progressively worse. The man was clueless as to why his landlord would not return his calls; they usually kept in touch, speaking at least twice a month. Finally, he reasoned that he would not be held accountable for any damages sustained.
One night, the man was startled awake by a massive thump. He quickly turned on his bedside lamp, and just vaguely, he could see an overturned table and a large shape laying across it. He sprinted out of his apartment and called the police, gagging at the smell.
The man sat in the police station with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders and a coffee mug resting in his hands. He did know one thing. There had been a dead body in his ceiling, and the water had saturated it so badly that it caved under the weight. So far, the body was unidentifiable due to the rainwater and was being autopsied. While the man waited, he called his landlord and finally reached him, panicking as he explained the situation. His landlord was just as alarmed, and the man pleaded for him to come to the station while he made his statement. The man paused as a detective crossed over to him, and he lowered his phone, wondering if the body had been identified. His blood ran immediately cold, and he shook his head with terror. The body belonged to Richard Thompson, his landlord, and he had died over a year ago. That’s not what disturbed him the most. If his landlord was dead, then who was pretending to be him?
Credit: Ariel Lowe
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First I thought immediately it was his landlord, then he says that his landlord “was just as alarmed.” Then I’m like “Oh, so it’s not the landlord” Then I’m like “Hmmmmmmmm…who is this mystery person”
Freaky
then who was phone?!
Short and Sweet. I especially love the ending line! 10/10
Short and sweet.
I’m not going to go into detail about everything, but the last sentence and question weren’t necessary. You should’ve left it at “…he had died over a year ago.”
Kan you say “Who was phone?” This is a well done version of that idea. (You didn’t want us to be all “Mommy, there’s a ghost on the phone waaah! Oh nos.” Instead you gave a more plausible idea.)
Have an ice day.
Hi there! I’m working on becoming a voice actor and liked your story. I read it and hope I gave it justice! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Zzll-Fnsws
think it’d be a lot better without that last sentence. felt a bit like spoon-feeding.
I liked this one. I feel like it could have been longer with more detail, but definitely had something going
It seems very rushed. I would wish that you do it over, but with a slower tempo building up to its climax. This is a good story, it really is, and it has potential. Otherwise, with the rush, I give it a 4/10. It can be better!
I liked it, short but sweet
I think you have the beginning of a story, but not a full one. 4/10
A nice creepypasta
I would rate it 8/10
It’s a typical story. Not much to expect but it does have that plot twist at the end.
I think this was a good effort, but it was too short for the suspense to really build, and it was fairly predictable (guessed the landlord was dead as soon as he couldn’t be reached, and that his body was above the renter either in the attic or an apartment). As far as creepiness, the fake landlord is going to show up to the police station, so nothing really to be scared of. Or if he doesn’t show, the police would accompany the renter home since he was possibly in touch with the suspect (assuming the landlord was murdered). Also, after “over a year” there isn’t going to be enough left of a body to saturate to fall through a ceiling, in a hot dry climate it would mummify and in a hot wet climate (assumed since there’s a “rainy season”), it would decompose fast. If the ceiling could hold the body at full weight, it would hold it after decomp.