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In the Wall



Estimated reading time — 10 minutes

I had moved into a new apartment with my girlfriend about two years ago. It was pretty small; it had only a kitchen, one bedroom, one bathroom, and a living room. All of the rooms might have been small, but the rent was good, and we didn’t really care. Neither of us made enough money to move out of the place, so we tried to make the most of it. One of the oddest things about the place was that the left wall was completely hollowed out, and the right wall was rock solid. I didn’t even notice when we first moved in. Our neighbors were always quiet and kept mostly to themselves. When we moved in, the only neighbors we had were the Whites. The Whites were to the right of us, and they were an elderly couple. They were nice to us. When we had first moved in, they brought us a “welcome to the building” present, which is what they do for all of the new people who had moved in to an apartment in the building. It was a small apple pie, which was actually quite good. About five or six months after my girlfriend and I moved in, there was a new guy that had moved into the right of us. I remember first meeting him. I had just gotten back to the building with some groceries, and as I climbed up the stairs to my apartment, I accidentally bumped into someone.

“Sorry, excuse me Mr…” but I didn’t know who this guy was. Our building is fairly small, and just about everyone knows everyone else. The man I had bumped into was middle aged, probably in his mid-fifties. Something about him was odd, though. He had deep wrinkles, pale white skin, and long greasy black hair that were unkempt and around his face and back. He looked rather sickly, like he needed to see a doctor. His eyes were a solid dark purple, which is something that I have never seen before in my entire life. “Peters” the man said with a grin that stretched ear to ear. His teeth were disgusting. They were un-brushed and looked like they were rotting away. I can still smell his putrid breath, which seemed to reek of old decaying meat. All though his appearance was a little bit creepy, he seemed nice enough. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Peters. My names Matt. Are you new to the building?”  I asked. Mr. Peters smile grew even bigger. I don’t know how he, let alone any human could smile that wide. “Yes, I am moving in. And I’m going to be living right next to your apartment.” He said as we both walked up the stairs to the top floor.

When we reached the top floor, Mr. Peters pace increased as he quickly walked to the door, opened it with his key, and shut the door behind him. It was odd, though. He did it so quickly, it was like a blur. I sighed to myself. “Great, now I have a freakish neighbor.” I thought to myself as I turned the handle of my door. It was about 4:00 P.M. My girlfriend, Sandra, was still at her job. She’s a hair stylist, and I’m a chef at a local Italian restaurant. I usually don’t get off until later, but because business was slow that day, and nobody was coming in, we closed early. I put the groceries down on the kitchen table and start to unload everything into the refrigerator. I didn’t have much with me, only about one bag. Quart of milk, a few sticks of butter, ground hamburger meat, and a box of cereal. I then got a text message from my friend, Tyler. “Bro, I just got my hands on the new Red Dead Redemption game, and you need to go out and get it so we can play together.” Was what the message read. Now, I wasn’t much of a gamer, but Tyler is one of my closest friends that I have. We’ve been best friends ever since middle school. I did have an Xbox 360, and Tyler and I would play games together from time to time. I didn’t really have anything better or more interesting to do, so I texted him back saying I would go out and buy it. As I was just about to leave to go get the game, I heard a lot of banging coming from the wall. It was weird though, because it was so clear. I went up to the left side of the wall and gave it a light tap with my knuckle. This was the first time that I realized that for whatever reason, the wall was hollow like a log. I went to the right wall, and repeated the process, only to be greeted with a thud. This wall was solid. I was puzzled on why in the world the builders of this place would make one wall solid, and the other hollow. I was also curious as to what Mr. Peters was doing to make all of that noise. I just shrugged it off. “Probably just moving things in or something.” I told myself. But, that couldn’t be right. He didn’t have anything with him when I saw him. I shrugged it off, and left to go get the game.

I got back at around 5:00 with my new game, and I was glad to discover that the banging from Mr. Peters ceased. I was happy with this. I didn’t really care what he was doing, as long as he did it quietly. I popped the game in and put my headset on. I have a pretty good headset, it blocks out most sounds. It was nice and tight around the ears, and I loved it. Tyler and I played and talked for almost three hours straight. I would have gone longer, but Sandra came home at about 8:00. I told Tyler that I had to go, and that we could play more tomorrow after I was done with work. Tyler didn’t have a job. He didn’t need one. His father was a rich man who owned some oil company or something like that, I don’t really remember. But I do know that he spoils Tyler rotten, giving him tons of money for doing absolutely nothing at all. I powered off the console and got up out of my chair to give Sandra a hug. We talked about stuff like how our days went, and things like that. I then I remembered Mr. Peters. “Did you know that someone was moving into the apartment right next to us?” I asked. She told me that she was unaware of a new member joining our building. Weird that she didn’t know of Mr. Peters. I decided that I would go ask Mr. and Mrs. White tomorrow morning. They know everybody in the building. They probably already have a pie baked and ready to send over to his apartment.

I didn’t sleep well that night. I had an insane dream about Mr. Peters just standing over my bed, my girlfriend beside me. Smiling that terrifying smile. I was going to do something, wake up my girlfriend, run away in fear, anything. But I was stopped when he simply put his finger over my lips and quietly said “Shhh” in a soft, friendly voice. It didn’t feel like a dream, though. Everything was so clear, and I can remember it all so well. It’s impossible that it was real, though. That’s what my therapist told me, at least. After a long sleepless night, I took a quick shower and was going to get some food for breakfast. I also noticed the banging on the wall from Mr. Peters apartment. It was softer this time, and more… creepy. After my shower, I went to my kitchen. Only, something was off. Quart of milk, a few sticks of butter, ground hamburger meat, but no box of cereal. I looked everywhere, thinking I just misplaced it by accident. Sandra woke up thanks to me frantically looking for the box. “Sandra, what’d you do with the cereal?” I asked her while still looking in the various shelves in my kitchen. “Didn’t you put it in here?” she asked while pointing to the spot where I swore that I put it. “I could have sworn that I did, but I don’t know where it went. Please tell me that you took it,” I said. Yet she continued to deny the accusation. I thought it was her regardless. What else could it have been? A burglar? No. What burglar steals boxes of cereal? I didn’t pay much attention to it, though. I just said, “Guess it just grew a pair of legs and walked off.” and forgot about the whole ordeal.

I went over to the Whites and knocked on their door. I was greeted when Mr. White answered. “Hey there, son. How are you this fine morning?” He asked with his typical happy-go-lucky tone of voice. “Hey there Mr. White. I’m doing well, thanks for asking. But I came over to ask you about someone. Have you heard of a Mr. Peters?” I asked. Mr. White frowned when I asked. “Well, no. Sorry son, can’t say that I have. Who is he?” He questioned. “He moved into the apartment right next to ours. I’m surprised that you don’t know who he is. You of all people in this building would know if someone new was moving in.” I said. Mr. White then smiled and said, “Well we should go and see how’s he’s doing, then.” I think about it for a second, and took him up on his offer. The two of us walked over to his door, and Mr. White knocked on the door. We stood there for a little bit, only to returned with silence. I found it odd that there was no response what so ever. We didn’t even hear any noises from the other side of the door. “Hmm.. He must be sleeping, still.” chimed in Mr. White. I found it to be a reasonable for the lack of sounds coming from the other side of the door. “Well, how about we come back later to see if he’s awake?” I ask Mr. White. He agrees to the offer, and says that he’ll have a freshly bakes pie ready for when I get back from work. We part ways, and I go about my day as normal. Then I got back home.

I changed my clothes, and then went to the kitchen to grab something to eat really fast before I went over to see Mr. White. I grabbed a chocolate bar, and went to the refrigerator. But when I opened the door, I saw no milk quart. Now I was starting to get an annoyed. Was Sandra just pulling a prank or something? I got home before her again, so I decided to just go see to Mr. White and talk to Sandra when she got home. I knocked on the door, and got something I wasn’t expecting at all. Mrs. White answered the door, tears running down her cheeks and red irritated eyes. “Hello, Matt.” She said through her crying. I was completely caught off guard by this, so I simply asked what had happened to out her in this state. “It’s George. My poor, sweet George.” She said. Now, even though Sandra and I just called him, “Mr. White”, we both knew his first name was George. “What happened to him?” I asked. “He’s gone! He just disappeared!” She said through her now heavy sobbing. My mind rushed to one conclusion; Mr. Peters. “Follow me, now.” I told Mrs. White.

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I rushed down the hall to Mr. Peters door. I pounded my fist on the door. “Mr. Peters! Open up right now!” I was once again returned with silence. Complete and utter silence. Mrs. White came running down the hallway and caught up to me. “Have you called the police about Mr. White?” I asked. She nodded. “They came over and I told them what happened. Now, why are you banging the door? Who’s Mr. Peters?” I explained everything to her, and she too had never heard of him. Concerned, I pulled out my phone and dialed 911. Mrs. White and I waited for the police to arrive, but before they could get to us, Sandra came walking down the hallway. “What’s going on here?” She asked us. I told her about everything that had happened. Mr. White and I coming over, the missing milk, and Mr. White’s disappearance. Sandra waited with us for the police to arrive.

They finally got to the apartment, and I yet again explained my story. They both looked at each other, and knocked on the door, also to be greeted with silence. They went to go talk to the building manager to see if they could get some more information, but he said that there was no Mr. Peters who lived in that apartment. Both the police and the building manager returned to the door, master key in hand. The door then swung open. Nothing. It was just a normal empty room. We all walked in, confused, me more then the others. Then I remembered. I walked over to the wall, and gave it a light knock with my first. The hollow walls made its standard sound. I called everyone over, and showed that the wall was in fact hollow. What went from two police officers quickly escalated into ten. It took about three hours, but Sandra, Mrs. White, the building manager and I all waited for the police to finger out what to do next. After some discussion, the decision was to knock down the hollowed wall, and what I saw next would change my life forever.

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It was a terrible sight. Mr. Peters lay quietly next to the dead corpse Mr. White, his stomach messily flayed open. It looked as if Mr. Peters used his teeth to grind a large slit in his stomach, and then used his fingers to pry it open. But that wasn’t the worst part of it was that in his opened up stomach, was a pit of milk, cereal, and blood. There was so much blood.. All over both of their bodies. Mrs. White didn’t take it well. She was hysterical, and started to vomit. Some of the policemen vomited as well, and even though I felt like I was going to, I resisted. Even though that the sight was hooraying, that still isn’t the worst part. The worst thing of the scene was his smile. He had that same ear to ear grin as he did when we first met. The police had their guns drawn, pointed right at him. But he just smiled, straight at me. Straight into my eyes. His gaze sent chills running up my spine. He got up and stepped away from his body, his eyes never leaving mine. His smile never losing its size.

The police brought him out to the apartment, and put handcuffs on him. Other officers took Mr. White out of the hollowed wall, Mrs. White crying all the way. I feel for her, really I do. If I found Sandra in that state, I don’t know how I would react. Mr. Peters was taken away, and he was given the death penalty. I saw a therapist not long after the ordeal, and I still see him once every week. I’m writing this right now, just to warn everyone out there. When you hear banging at you wall or roof, or are just hearing “house noises”, you might want to give it a closer inspection. It probably just is normal “house noises”, but after this event I never took the chance. I’m still incredibly paranoid. I remember one night at around 3:00 in the morning; i heard some banging coming from my kitchen. I got up as I always do, but this time was different. I saw Mr. Peters smiling at me, his teeth dripping with a crimson fluid, which had to be blood. I turned on the light, and he simply vanished into thin air. I don’t know why this is happening to me. I don’t even believe in the supernatural or anything, but I know what I saw. He was just standing there, looking right at me. Smiling that terrifying smile.

Credit To – Cade McKown

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Copyright Statement: Unless explicitly stated, all stories published on Creepypasta.com are the property of (and under copyright to) their respective authors, and may not be narrated or performed under any circumstance.

92 thoughts on “In the Wall”

  1. A well thought out idea, however, the build up and tension required to really “creep” the audience needs some work. Grammatical mistakes need some effort being put into to really keep the story flowing in a rhythmic movement. Throughout this story, many plot holes were located, such as the positioning of the rooms, and the factual information. However, the idea acquired for this story is genuinely thrilling and unique, something which could truly be a work of art. In conclusion, outstanding effort, I hope to see more stories from you.

    Use of language and vocabulary: 7/10
    Plot & Story line: 9/10
    Grammar: 6/10
    Audience Engagement: 8.8/10
    Total Average Rating: 7.7/10

  2. I really liked this but there should have been a better reason why he just assumed that the murderer was Mr. Peters at first. Just because of his smile? Other than that the pasta was great!

  3. Pretty good beginning, but the ending was bad…. Would of been cool if you were like “and I just can’t find the butter, it’s like it grew legs and walked off”. Spooky end.

  4. find out yourself

    It doesn’t matter about grammar mistakes,
    it’s the story I focus on.
    Not whether or not the guy passed his English text!

  5. I like how he was living in the walls, and the images that you set in my mind were ghastly!!! Besides a few Grammatical Errors, this story was AWESOME!!! 9/10

  6. Predictable, but still enjoyable. There were mistakes here and there, but they’re pretty easy to look past. The un answered questions are really bring the story down though.

  7. I was hoping that the sweet, innocent Whites had the solid wall because it was filled with the corpses of residents they didn’t care much for.

  8. Constipated Unicorn

    “Even though that the sight was hooraying, that still isn’t the worst part. The worst thing of the scene was his smile.”

    -the sight was hooraying-

    “Hooray! Mr. White’s been murdered!”

  9. hmm i liked it :P reminded me of my dads apartment OvO very well done although a few mistakes and i believe that Mr. peters might of been a ghost or a demon : o

  10. YourWorstNightmare

    I like in a flat with hollow walls, the neighbours have about 10 kids and they’re always banging around. Well….shit.

  11. Rather intresting. For a second, when he said pale white skin, black hair, and a long smile, I was like, “Jeff the Killer?!” and then im like, “uh no, you obessive freak.” :D
    Otherwise, a few grammical errors, but GREAT PASTA!

  12. I liked this story, but have to admit that there are some loose parts in the story. Things like: How could Mr. Peters get into the wall, with Mr. White and why should he?
    But I like the character of Mr. Peters. It’s something between monster, human being and ghost^^ Like someone said before it’s maybe to long for to less content. I really enjoyed Red Dead Redemption but I don’t need this part in here. Nevertheless I enjoyed this pasta, very tasty ;-)

  13. Hmm why do I get the feel that this is just a re written version of : The Hole In The Wall (another creepy pasta). The guy hears knocking down stairs in an apartment that’s empty. Find out there’s a weird hollow part in the wall. Turns out someone was actually inside the wall.

    The only actual difference is you meet the guy in the wall in this story. Hole in the wall succeeded at being creepy because you never fully find out who or what is crawling around in the walls. Other than is was humanoid. To be honest I would have been more creeped out if they never found anyone in the empty apartment in this story.

    Anyways heres a link to the original Hole In The Wall story

    http://s22568.p321.sites.pressdns.com/the-hole-in-the-wall/

    MrCreepyPasta even does a reading on it : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5jKh8n7tOpM

  14. Quite a few grammatical errors that detracted from the story a bit for me, but a chilling and enjoyable tale all the same. 7/10

  15. “Some of the policemen vomited as well, and even though I felt like I was going to, I resisted. Even though that the sight was hooraying, that still isn’t the worst part”
    Hooraying?

  16. The potential for a crazed cannibal living next door to you is very creepy, and I love that concept. Cannibalism is very scary to me, and I hate the idea of being eaten alive. I’m giving this a 6, based purely off concept.

    That being said, I agree with the other criticism that’s been offered. I feel this was a very rough draft, but the potential is there. If this received some reworking, it’d be one of the CreepyPasta greats.

    A few suggestions:
    first and foremost, clean up the grammatical mistakes. Ie, you used “finger,” instead of, “figure” and,”hooraying,” instead of,”horrifying”.
    There were several moments that were told as they happened, and then back to pre-tense.

    The story, I know, is a short story. But it definitely needs more to it. “I bought groceries and then my new neighbor ate an old man,” is a little too short. I also would find it creepier if say, the raw meat went missing. He is a cannibal, I find the image of him desperately eating handfuls of raw beef before he caves and starts eating residents more frightening then stealing someone’s Frosted Flakes.

    Also. You mentioned no structure damage done to the wall. If he got in and out, there’d be signs. The wall was recently re-patched. There was dry-wall dust on the ground. And if the old man had just gone missing, the police wouldn’t cut into the wall right away, based off of a guys word that,”someone stole my milk, and this wall is hollow.”

    Also, more activity would be great. He isn’t immediately suspicious of the weirdo, so night after night of weird banging sounds are simply annoying. He hears the creeper wailing miserably at night, and that’s odd. Weird stuff from his apartment goes missing. Meat, knives, idk, salt perhaps. Then residents start to disappear. Maybe an animal or two at first. The smell from his apartment is sickly. Finally the police investigate and they find numerous bodies in the walls.

    Maybe I went overboard, but I just feel there was a lot of potential here that could go great places.

    1. I like your comment. Constructive criticism is where it’s at. I’m finishing up a story (a VERY long, short story) and you, along with others, gave me something to think about.

    2. I love that you actually offer some really good contructive criticism. Most people on here offer one sentence comments of “This was really good” or “This was terrible!”.

      I wish more people would do that you’ve done to help encourage people with a lot of potential to become really great.

  17. I enjoyed this pasta. I only noticed a few grammatical errors/ spelling errors here and there, but overall, wonderful story.

    9/10

  18. Sorry, but i thought this was terrible. There are lots of spelling mistakes, the mistake with them both living to the right, and even some changes in tense mid flow. You go into details which aren’t necessary for the story.. like the thing about your friend? Just feels like you’re trying to fill space. All this just ruins the flow for me and takes away any creepiness at all.

    Also, the ending wasn’t much of a shock? I kind of wish you’d gone down the schizophrenic route now, like.. he was mr peters? Or even the ghost route would’ve felt more satisfying? Idk, the whole thing just feels very amateurish and rushed.

    Sorry if you feel I’ve been over harsh, i just really didn’t like this one :/

    1. I have to agree with MBarbs. A lot of detail was given for things that did not seem to pertain to the overall plot, while a lot of detail was left out in other areas that could have used some beefing up. My biggest pet peeve is changing tense, which was done very often, and the grammatical errors are numerous. In the end, the only thing I remember is that your protagonist had nice headphones and his friend Tyler didn’t work. Everything else is just a blur, and I don’t understand the folks saying this creeped them out. Sorry.

    2. I very much agree with Mbarbs. I can’t understand why this is rated so high.

      It was all over the place, and really didn’t work. Also, J makes a good point.

      How did he get into the walls? How did he get into the other apartment? How did no one notice this random cannibal breaking into an apartment? How did he manage to kidnap Mr. White? What kind of log is hollow?

      Ugh, the more I think about this one, the worse it gets for me. 3/10 for relatively original story line.

      1. The Killer Known As Jeff

        *you’re; *stupid; I don’t know…random 1…are you saying “you’re the stupid one”? If so, you forgot the; *you’re; *too; *hungry; *cannibal

        I would continue but that…phrase is just so horrible. You’re an idiot. Go back to school.

  19. I found this a bit boring to read.
    I stopped and skipped to the end half way through.
    But I like the cannibalism idea.

    4/10

  20. That was really creepy! I live in an attic with several crawl spaces that make “knocking” noises and it makes me jumpy. Especially now that I read this story I’m going to be even more jumpy. O.O

        1. That’s what I pictured too. That’s the first thing that popped into my head when the author described him. I don’t know how someone got Loki…

  21. Cool, disgusting idea with images that stick in your mind. The grammar leaves something to be desired, but the idea behind the story itself was great.

  22. The second to last paragraph needs some cleaning up. The sentence in particular: “But that wasn’t the worst part of it was that in his opened up stomach, was a pit of milk, cereal, and blood.” is missing some words. Also noticed a couple spelling errors.

    Outside of some cliche things that I felt took away from the overall quality of the story (“What I saw next would change my life forever.” and “That wasn’t the worst part…”). Also really didnt believe that the cops would be so involved after an old man goes missing for a few hours. And you didnt really allude to how this guy was getting into the narrator’s apartment to steal the stuff.

    But outside of those little things it is a very well written story and it held my interest from start to finish. Loved the visual of this creepy guy laying next to the body enjoying a bowl of bloody stomach cereal with a smile on his face. Very original! 8/10

    1. Funny thing is something similar to this did actually happen. A man in china was finding stuff around the house missing. He put up cameras to find that a woman had been living in his cubbard…. Real story, look it up.

  23. How did the guy get into the wall? This was alright. There were several errors, you said both Mr. Peters and the Whites lived to the right of the protagonist in the first paragraph. The rest were mostly small spelling and grammatical issues. This story could’ve used a bit more build-up, have the bumps in the wall and the things disappearing go on for a couple of days. The creepy idea here is the dude living in the walls, but the story moves so quickly that it doesn’t build the tension necessary to make the concept as creepy as it could be.

    Overall it was OK, could’ve spent a bit more time in the oven as they say. 7/10

    Usually I don’t write this much about pastas here, but I do see the potential both in this story and in the author. So I’m providing as much feedback as I can so that the writer can learn and improve and maybe we can start getting some really great pastas again.

      1. Actually, the story reads that Mr. Peters moved in to the right of them, i.e. into the Whites’ apartment.

        In fact, I thought the Whites had disappeared or died or something, so I was kind of surprised when they were still in the apartment.

  24. I rather enjoyed this one. When I started reading it, I only noticed the grammatical mistakes, but then Mr. Peters showed up…. I thought it was headed towards ghost, but cannibalism? Crazy stuff man…. 10

    1. Jesus so he really does sound a bit paranormal after all I thought he was going to be some sort of murderer like Jeff the killer so if you think that I was right just reply back thank you have horrified sleep tonight :S

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