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Hunting Grounds



Estimated reading time — 11 minutes

I don’t really know how to start something like this, writing journal entries isn’t something I’d say I’m used to. Anyways, the doctors said it might help to get something down on paper so, it’s worth a try. I’ve been in this hospital for a few days now and, I haven’t really been able to do anything apart from write. They told me I had a near death experience, and say the traumatizing event triggered the memories and visions I’m now plagued with. After seeing the things I saw, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget them; I remember it all so vividly, every sound, every conversation, every feeling of terror, as if I’m still stuck in that nightmare. The events replay over and over again in my head without any end and, I haven’t been able to sleep. So, I’m writing down everything that happened, while it’s still clear in my mind. I’ll start from the beginning…

Everything happened about a few days ago when I was invited to go on a camping trip with my friends, Matt and Alex. Nothing over the top of course, we just wanted to spend a day or two in the wilderness, and I really just wanted to take a break from my busy work schedule. Matt suggested we check out the forest that surrounded the hunting cabin his family owned considering it was relatively close by and fairly easy to get to. Alex and I agreed, the idea seemed as good as any, and within the next day we all arrived at the property in Matt’s pickup. We didn’t waste any time and, after making sure everything was in check, we gathered our gear out of Matt’s truck and headed out towards the tree line, following a small path through the tall grass and up to the forest’s edge.

As we followed one another into the forest Matt took the lead, picking up a stick to walk with and humming the catchy tune of some infomercial. We headed north for about an hour or so, Alex cracked a few jokes which we laughed at but there wasn’t all that much conversation among us. It was still reasonably early in the morning and we mostly concentrated on walking without tripping over fallen branches and simply taking in the beautiful scenery that surrounded us. After a few hours, we stopped to rest and snack once or twice but continued our steady march into the wilderness shortly after. It wasn’t until later in the day when we came across something, out of the ordinary from the repetitive branches and foliage of the forest.

A worn path cut across our route, overgrown by tall grass and vegetation. It was barely visible, and we would’ve passed it if not for the break in the trees. We didn’t have a solid plan as to where we were going to set up camp for the night so, seeing as we weren’t in any immediate rush, we ended up following it. The path headed straight for quite a ways before it took a sharp turn to the right, reviling a clearing in the trees and an old, run down warehouse of sorts. We looked around for any sign or form of advertisement, but there either wasn’t any, or it had long since been swallowed up by the forest. I asked Matt if he knew about the building, but he denied it, just as surprised as me and Alex. I couldn’t blame him either, in retrospect Matt’s hunting cabin was barely used and the idea of there being some old abandoned building close to his property really didn’t surprise us that much.

I looked at my watch, it was 6PM and beginning to get dark. Matt must have noticed the time too and suggested we camp in the building for the night. I agreed, deciding sleeping on the flat warehouse floor would be more comfortable than the uneven forest floor. That and quite honestly, I was too tired to bother putting up a tent. Alex was less reluctant, being somewhat apprehensive about the whole idea, but soon caved after Matt told him he could sleep outside alone if he really wanted to. We walking up to the entrance and tried what was left of two battered doors that marked the building’s entry. They were already slightly open but stiff from being untouched for so long and we had to wrestle with their rusted hinges to gain entry.

The inside of the building was a barren shell of an old factory, broken and boarded windows, weathered paint, completely empty save for a few boxes and cobwebs here and there. We decided to set up a makeshift camp in the center of the main room and move the spare boxes around to sit on. We had been talking and joking around for a while, eating what food we brought with, when we heard a distant clash echo throughout the building. Our heads all glanced to the left where the sound seemed to have originated.

“You guys hear that?” Alex asked.

I shook my head, still listening, and Matt was about to say something when another clash echoed again, more faint, but unmistakably noticeable. Upon inspection, a small hallway branched off of the main room ending in a thick iron door with a small viewing window built into its center. The three of us headed towards the door after Matt and I each grabbed a flashlight from my bag, and waited, peering through the scratched window at a staircase leading down into complete darkness.

“Basement maybe?” Matt guessed, staring at the door.

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A few silent moments passed before Alex stepped in, “Well whatever it was, it’s gone now, probably nothing lets g–”
Another clang cut him off pulling our attention back to the window. Again, no movement was visible in the darkness.

An unsettling silence fell over us…

“Let’s check it out” Matt said, already tugging on the handle, the hinges screeching loudly as the ancient door opened.

“Are you crazy!?” Alex exclaimed.

“Relax,” I said, “It’s probably just an animal, a raccoon maybe.”

“What, are you scared?” Matt teased jokingly. He laughed when Alex flipped him off and walked back towards the main room,

“Whatever, I’m going to bed, see you idiots in the morning.”

With that Matt began to slip through the door, “You coming or not?” he said, starting down the stairs. With nothing better to do, I placed a loose brick on the floor as a door stop and descended the stairs with him. When we reached the bottom, the air was, somewhat heavy, a musty odor hung around us that I could taste in the back of my throat.

As my eyes slowly adjusted to the absence of light, I could make out various pipes and vents that ran the length of the walls and ceilings. I shown my flashlight around us and found that we were in a small rectangular room about 15 feet wide. Three or four tunnels branched out of the walls in various directions and I aimed my light down the nearest one but saw nothing as the tunnel only stretched farther onward, seeming to go on forever.

“Which way do you think it came from?” Matt asked, staring into the darkness of the front tunnel.

“I don’t know man, does it even matter anymore?” I said flatly.

“What, you scared of the dark too?”

“No it’s just–”

“C’mon lets see what’s down here,” Matt called out before ducking down the passageway and disappearing in the darkness, the only thing visible being his own flashlight bobbing up and down. Being an idiot, I followed after him, keeping my eyes on the jumping light through the labyrinth of tunnels.

“Matt let’s just go back, this is getting ridiculous!” I called after him.

His words echoed down back to me, “Hey man I think I heard something over here…”

I saw the light dart to the left, likely another turn in the tunnel, and caught up only to find that his light was nowhere to be seen. I jogged forward a little more hoping to hear his footsteps or something just to point me in his direction. But there was nothing.

“Matt?” I called, “Matt you still there?” my voice bounced uselessly off the walls of the tunnel. I reassured myself it was probably just another one of his idiotic pranks, he always messed with me and Alex, but, something didn’t feel right about it. The feeling of dread grew in the pit of my stomach as I rounded yet another corner just to find more darkness, no light, and no familiar jump scare from Matt just, more tunnels.

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Suddenly, the tunnel was filled with a bloodcurdling scream that seemed to come from everywhere around me, stopping me right in my tracks. But just as quickly as it started, it ended, as if cut short by an invisible force. I hesitantly called out to Matt again but there was no answer, only the occasional drip of water from the ceiling. It was at this moment, in this silence, when I heard it.

Footsteps.

I aimed my flashlight down the tunnel thinking it might be Matt running towards me. But as the sound grew louder, it seemed closer to something, running on all fours. Whatever it was, was coming towards me, and getting closer. Without waiting any longer, I dropped my flashlight on the ground and darted into the next passageway, hiding myself in the darkness. Moments passed and as the sounds grew louder I could hear whatever it was, panting and wheezing, seemingly more in pain then from exhaustion.

The flashlight on the ground illuminated the figure now at the mouth of the tunnel. I struggled to stay silent as I gazed at a horrid creature now only a few yards away from me. It was on all fours, its back twisted and bent at a grotesque angle to compensate for its longer back legs. Its skin was pale, bruised and battered, wrapped tight around its skeletal figure. Bones strained and cracked as it bent down to examine the light and it was now that I could see its face. What few strands of hair it had hung wet from its head and swayed as it breathed heavily through its crooked mouth. Unblinking eyes sunk back in its skull, and a glow hung in its pupils like that of a dog’s at night as it continued to study the alien instrument. It cocked its head slightly and the light illuminated more of its facial construction. You need to understand that this thing, was once human.

My heart raced and blood pounded in my ears so loud I prayed that it wouldn’t hear me, prayed those glowing orbs wouldn’t shift in my direction. Without warning it snapped its head upwards with such force an audible snap could be heard from within its neck. It listened for a moment, then let out an inhuman shriek that pierced my ears and echoed down tunnels in every direction, its neck and chest heaving to produce the disturbing noise. I shuddered as a faint echo of another shriek reverberated off the walls followed by another…and another…and another.

There was more than one.

The echoes were coming from everywhere, I couldn’t pinpoint where they were. The deformed being let out another shriek before taking off down the tunnel, leaving me more terrified than ever. I stayed in that corner for what seemed like hours, too petrified to move just listening, every so often hearing one of them howl far off down another tunnel. It was as if they were searching for me…Hunting me.

I had to get out of there, I had to escape. The thought of what these things would do to me if I was found chilled me to the bone. So I did the only thing I could do. I grabbed the flashlight, and ran. Finding my way back was useless, I was completely lost, all I could do was run and pray for an exit of some sort. I kept my eyes forward as I ran quietly down the tunnel, constantly terrified that I would hear the ragged breathed and footfalls of one behind me at any moment. I was about to turn the next corner when my legs snagged on something in front of me and I fell headfirst into a puddle on the ground. In the dim light I could see the outline of a crumpled mass. My mind told myself not to look but, curiosity got the better of me and I grabbed my flashlight, shinning it down to my feet.

I immediately wished I hadn’t.

At my feet lay the body of…Matt. What was left of his mutilated corps was torn open, practically ripping him in two. His organs lay scattered around him and thick blood coated the wall and floor. I shook violently but dared not scream, fear overpowering the sickening sight of my dead friend sprawled on the ground in a heap of blood. Looking away, I got up and sprinted down the tunnels as quietly as I could, turning the flashlight off so as not to attract any more of those, things, I didn’t want to end up like Matt.

I ran for as long as I could even after my legs burned but, eventually, I had to stop. I doubled over, sore and exhausted, covered in sweat and consumed with fear. I heaved as bile rose in my throat delayed from before. My shirt and pants were covered in Matt’s blood and I breathed heavy, trying to regain what ounce of strength I had, shaking as I rose to my feet.

A slight crack sounded from my right…

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My hair stood on end and I tried to turn my flash light on but it refused to work.

Another crack sounded, slightly closer…

I panicked and hit the top of the light repeatedly until finally it sparked to life illuminating a thing composed of the stuff of nightmare. Glowing pupils constricted as its eyes widened, lips curled back into a snarl revealing teeth stained with blood and rotted with decay. I inched back in fear as it shifted closer towards me, its shoulder cracking with each stride as if dislocated. My mind screamed at my legs to move, to run, get to out of there as fast as possible, but it wasn’t until the thing threw its head back and screamed to its other pack members that I was released from my terrified trance. I sprinted down the tunnel, fueled with adrenalin. Its head snapped back to me when it saw my movement. It snarled and bounded on all fours with inhuman speed.

I sprinted as fast I could, taking rights and lefts in the disorienting tunnels but its enraged screams were always right behind me. I couldn’t outrun it, I needed to hide or find something to defend myself with, even if fighting was useless. My eyes turned to the wall where rusted pipes ran its length and connected to the ground. In a desperate attempt I grabbed the nearest one and pulled with all my might hoping it would come off the wall with ease. My heart dropped as it moved only slightly and my arms burned as I pulled ruthlessly on the rusted pipe, the shrieks and screams of it, and now others, growing closer and closer.

Finally it came free just in time as the creature crashed around the corner. It lunged at me, arms outstretched and clawing the air. I braced myself and swung with what energy I had left, feeling it collide with the creature’s jaw. A sickening crunch echoed in the tunnel, and the being shrieking in pain and confusion. In blind furry it swatted me away with its arm, knocking me back against the wall so hard I saw stars. It moaned again, its head bent to the left at an absurd angle from where the pipe had collided, before collapsing on the ground. Movement caught my eye behind it, more of these, people, streamed around the corner, their pale bodies crashing into themselves, shrieking all the while. I turned and ran as best I could, clutching my now mangled arm from where I had been hit, only turning back to see them feeding on their fallen comrade. It’s screams of agony went unnoticed as it was now nothing more than food in their minds. It wasn’t long however, before they began to climb over each other to continue the chase, their wild eyes locked on me.

My vision blurred and blood pounded in my head as I ducked past another archway in the tunnel. I had long surpassed my athletic limits and was running on fear alone. I could hear their shrieks and cries just down the tunnel as they raced towards me, limbs and bone clashing as each one tried desperately to get the first bite.

I turned yet another corner and my heart stopped. A sliver of light illuminated the end of the tunnel, a drain pipe, just large enough for a child. There were only moments, seconds even, between me and the mass of deformed bodies that hurtled down the tunnel. There was no time to decide, I bolted for the opening and dived through the narrow space, crawling as fast as I could. It didn’t matter how much the hard pavement scratched and tore at my knees and arms, I was so close to escape but I knew they were right behind me clawing savagely for my legs, enraged by the instinct to feed.

Just as I was nearing the end of the opening, fingers dug into my ankle, bolts of pain shot up my leg and I screamed in agony. I felt something snap in my ankle as it snarled and drove its nails deeper into my skin. I yelled in anguish, struggling as I was pulled back down the pipe. With a last ditch effort I kicked as hard as I could with my free leg feeling it connect with something hard. It shrieked in more in anger than pain, only tightening its steel grip on my leg. I brought my foot down again and again desperately trying to free myself until it finally let go. I looked back to see a bloody tangle of arms and figures, savagely fighting to reach me as I pulled myself along the last remaining inches and fell…

This is where my memory begins to fade…

I remember hitting cold water and seeing the night sky. Too tired to do anything but lay in the water, I remember looking up to see glowing eyes staring back at me through the narrow opening before I welcomed rest, and blacked out…

I was found washed up on the side of a river half dead and suffering from hypothermia. My left ankle was broken and my right forearm completely shattered. I awoke later in the emergency room, doctors told me I was lucky to be alive and before long, police authorities came to question me. I told them everything but, my story was dismissed as a result of stress and shock. As I said before, I can’t sleep, every odd sound sends me into a state of panic, and I can’t deal with reliving every event of that day when I close my eyes. But the worst part, that terrorizes me even more, is that Alex is still there…and that door…

That door is still open.

Credit To – AStoryTeller

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38 thoughts on “Hunting Grounds”

  1. It kinda used the cliche of “following your stupid, over-confident friend into a scary place that you already know is going to have something bad waiting for you”. Other than that, this was a very well written pasta. That cliche just spoiled it for me, that that friend was going to die and the main character would be left for himself.

  2. This was terrifying! After they entered the tunnel my body was completely tense until the very end. Very well written and descriptive. Love it!

  3. The way you use commas is atrocious to the point where it massacres the flow of the writing and constantly disengages the reader. An ellipsis is used to denote a pause if it’s just put in for stylistic preference. NOT a comma. For example, you wrote, “When we reached the bottom, the air was, somewhat heavy, a musty odor hung around us that I could taste in the back of my throat.” If you had just written, “When we reached the bottom, the air was somewhat heavy; a musty odor hung around us that I could taste in the back of my throat.” You write well. It’s a shame when something so minor has such a large effect. Please consider reviewing proper punctuation. I look forward to reading more from you.

  4. Is this a branch off or anything of that sort from Huntesville Camping Trip,because I vaguely remember an Alex and Matt in that story. But other than that great story.

  5. This wasn’t bad, but there were some grammar issues that bothered me. Not to be a stickler, but the excessive (and somewhat awkward) use of commas was distracting. The story itself had a nice blend of ‘creep factor’ though.

  6. Yes, there were spelling and grammar errors. Yes, it wasn’t the most original plot. But I managed to read it from start to finish without either of those problems putting me off too much. Well done.

  7. 7/10. The story is great, but you made quite a few grammatical errors and some spelling errors. Most of your grammatical errors comes from the misuse of commas. Like when you put “Looking away, I got up and sprinted down the tunnels as quietly as I could, turning the flashlight off so as not to attract any more of those, things, I didn’t want to end up like Matt.”

    I think you were trying to emphasize the word ‘thing,’ but you should’ve italicized the word or put quotations instead of putting commas.

    Also, you had some weird sentence structures. We can use the same example. If you read it, the last part sounds a little misplaced. You have sentences that are a little too long. You can break them up into two sentences, instead of having one long, awkward sounding sentence.

  8. 9/10
    Very tasty pasta! The story is very well developed and artfully articulated. I thought the entire plot was very engaging and enjoyed it from start to finish! It could have been a bit creepier, since I wasn’t really unnerved at any point during reading.
    My only real complaint would be the excessive over-use of commas. There were a great many instances when a comma was randomly shoved into a sentence and it made the statement rather challenging to figure out.

  9. Just a few problems that didn’t detract too much from the story. The biggest one was that when he fell out of the drain pipe the things didn’t follow him yet he is then worried because the door is open. It seems that they could just as easily get out through the drain pipe. Overall a really good pasta 9/10.

    1. Well they may not have wanted to go out into the light or the water – maybe they can’t swim, they are a bit mutilated. Not to mention there is no guarantee they can make it back into their ‘home.’
      However the door in the warehouse leads to neither water nor light. And with the door still open it would be quite easy to go back inside.

  10. Remember that movie “Don’t Be Afraid Of The Dark”?

    the creatures kinda reminds me of these things, except bigger.

    good pasta anyway 9/10

  11. This pasta blows my mind… I seriously can picture everything told in this story, with a bit of a silent hill atmosphere, old warehouse, rusted pipes, confined spaces underground, no where to run, no where to hide, and ridiculously creepy ex-human turned to flesh craving monsters. Exquisite… However, the story was a bit rushed and have no build up, see an abbandoned warehouse, no history, no exploration, no background story, found a basement, exploration time, friend disappear in front of his face and didn’t hear a sound of an attack, saw nothing, and suddenly a monster pop in his face, running away, see his friend dead, more monsters, run away, fight a bit, found an escape which the monsters didn’t use of course, then escaped, found himself in a hospital without any explanation how he got there, who brought him there, then remembered he left the door open. Now, I can only salute you for how the story is told, it makes all these simple points above turned into an amazing reading experience, but sadly for the contents and the story itself have a lack of quality, the idea itself is a good one but it isn’t complete without a proper story to manifest the idea. For me, no matter how interesting the story is being told, if there’s no quality to the story itself it becomes stale and uninteresting, don’t get me wrong, the idea or the concept of the story is very promising, it just need a full story to manifest the idea, and to flesh out the idea into a story that is unforgetable.

    1. I would agree if it was one of those pastas where the point of the story is to strike at some significant event, concept, or psychological symbolism. But it wasn’t. Put yourself into the shoes of the characters. If you stumbled into an abandoned warehouse and had an encounter with the creatures, then it really is as simple as that. He also did hear the sound of the attack, the screams of his friend. And what is the significance of the ones who brought him to the hospital? They found an injured young man and brought him to a hospital, then probably left as he was in their care now. Remembering the door also poses no inconsistency as his memory only faded of what happened after he escaped. The blackout is between him crawling out of the warehouse and waking up in the hospital. Of course it’s reasonable for him to replay the events in his head and remember the door out of concern for Alex.

  12. I read this during the day, and it terrified me, and I’m not often scared, even when in real danger. This story managed to do it so I applied you, awesome story!

  13. I seriously had a vivid experience reading this, the way it was written made my imagination run wild, would give a 10/10, but there were grammatical mistakes and the ending wasn’t creepy enough, it has that “Who cares if Alex diez” cause he wasn’t really givwn importance in the story, Idk in my opinion of course, so 8/10

    1. To me I think the creepy ending was supposed to be the door is still open. Which means they could escape and come after him and everyone in the world all over again. I don’t know if that’s what the author meant by it but that’s what I took in.

  14. What adds to the creepyfactor is the fact that the door is still open. This has become one of my favorite creepypasta.

  15. Bravo. I applaud you. This is the first pasta I’ve read during daytime that actually scared me. Though there were a few spelling mistakes, I enjoyed it.

  16. cappuchino salad

    This was an effectively-written pasta. Noticed just a couple of misspellings but not enough to ruin the story’s narration. I was legitimately creeped out by the mutant people’s description and actions, and the cliffhanger ending is just a simple yet perfect fit for the story. 9/10!

  17. This is one of the best Pastas I have read in a while! I would love to see this made into a short film, well done mate!

  18. Oh, so Alexs 2 friends went missing, theyve been gone for “a few days”, and Alex has NO IDEA where they are, or why theyve been gone for DAYS, but Alex is still chillin in the warehouse?

    Seems logical

    1. cappuchino salad

      It never said there that Alex was OKAY. For all we know, he might have decided to follow them during the commotion or even if he stayed, then the creatures might have gone out the door already and killed him too. That was the worry of the protagonist in the ending. (Though I agree that the last paragraph might have been better worded to make more sense)

    2. The major thing that bothered me actually was that there was apparently organs and everything left on his friend. One normally could excuse it by saying that they were intelligent enough to know there was two of them, and therefore they could get the other before he escaped. But they stopped to eat their “comrade” when he wasn’t even dead yet, soooo…

      Other than that, it was a great pasta, and one of the few that actually kept me until the end.

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