Hope
A gentle breeze blew through the little valley, pushing the perfectly formed clouds leisurely across the sky. The tall, green grass echoed the movement in the sky above, swaying gently as the cool sunlight reached across to the distant horizon. Birds sang soothingly in a tree atop a slight hill, casting shade upon a lone figure.
He shifted slightly in his sleep, and gradually awoke. The man stood up slowly, shakily, and gazed around.
He had not seen such beauty in eons.
The man knew this place. He placed one foot in front of the other, and began to move forward. His progress was slow, painful even, but his pace quickened with each step. Soon, he was dashing carefree along the valley, his footsteps light and easy.
He climbed a hill, and was able to see a small town in the distance. He had made good time. The sun was still high in the sky.
The man ran down the hill, towards the little bundle of houses. The sun sank gradually behind him, and the clouds darkened subtly.
The man’s steps were now huge, bounding leaps. The man soared over serene fields of flowers, full of life and vibrantly colored. The sun sank still lower, shooting the cloudy sky with many beautiful hues.
The man leapt, and flew through the air, surrounded by such indescribable beauty that tears streamed down his face. Still, he pushed towards the town. Still, the sun sank; the clouds gathered.
He was now near enough that he could see the many inhabitants of the little town. All his friends, all his family, merely a heartbeat away. A tiny sob escaped the man’s throat as he saw his wife and children standing at the edge of town, waiting for him. He pushed off from the ground with all his might, propelling himself into their welcoming arms.
The sun met the horizon, and the world was consumed in fire. A pair of hounds rushed out from the flames, and grabbed the man, dragging him back to the earth. The man grasped for his family, but the creatures held him just out of reach. The animals dragged the man back towards the fire, as the clouds blotted out the sky, and began to rain fire down onto the little village, killing its inhabitants and twisting the landscape.
The man sobbed in horror as he watched his world being destroyed again. He had almost made it, this time.
Hell would be easy, if not for hope.
–
Credited to Dirjel Junshin
LOL!
Not that creepy… but still an interesting concept. Hell is made that much worse by your hopes and dreams being held at a tantalizing distance?
First?
Ah, very nicely done, imo. Not creepy per se, but unsettling on a personal level. It’s easy for a person to be strong for themselves, but to be strong for the sake of others is much different.
Nice topic, seldom covered; and a wonderful approach to it, at that
FIRST!
right?
Very well written; actually, it wasn’t that creepy, it was actually kinda sad in a way.
Didn’t like it. It wasn’t creepy and the narrative annoyed me.
Tantalus revisited!
(obligatory BUT THEN WHO WAS HOUNDS?)
Nice liked it simple yet nice the end is perfect maybe to subtle but is nice and tasty for me just what I needed thxs
Never ending cycle pasta kind of makes me worry about death…. and hell but o well might as well go there for the BBQ & not the HotDogs
That’s why you abandon all hope at the doorway. Read the instructions : P
Alternate ideas of hellfire involving psychological torment are really just weak. For example the episode of the Twilight Zone where the robber is given everything he could ever want and then wonders how he got into heaven only to find out that “this is the other place” and his damnation is to realize the meaninglessness of what he had wished for in life. ‘Oh no, everything I could ever desire! How will I cope with having it?’
Personally, I don’t think you ever would get used to bleeding out of every pore continuously or having your innards pecked out by birds only to have it regenerate every day, making me question the logic of preparing such elaborate measures to torment the soul. I mean, to psychologically torment Sisyphus they just gave him a rock and a hill.
The man in the story should have heeded the sign at the entrance: “All hope abandon ye who enter here.” It would have saved him and his tormentors a lot of trouble.
Anonymous: I’m sure that if you were Satan, you would eventually get bored with the more standard practices of torture and move on to more creative methods.
But wouldn’t you eventually realize that those people weren’t real, that they were just created to indirectly torment you? Ah well. I am not a psychologist; and I like this too much to really critique it.
Well, it was certainly unique.
Purdy interesting, this one here.
Boring and dull. It just seemed like you were pouring adjectives into one paragraph of a vaguely interesting story to draw it out, just to hear yourself talk. If it scared me, it only scared me in the way Twilight scares me.
I like it :3
Not actually that creepy, but I can see you didn’t intend for it to be so. Good story and concept, nonetheless.
Fairly interesting, albeit not all that ‘creepy.’ Sort of took a while to get to the point though, and giving away that the man had known the scenery for ‘eons’ kind of gave away that something was slightly amiss with him running towards his family at the bottom of the hill. Immortal beings tend to not live in tiny villages, and sob when they see their families again (unless maybe the family was mortal, but I digress).
Still, fairly enjoyable. Definitely wasn’t so bad I felt regret towards reading it.
And @ dodoman1: Satan (at least according to Judaism and Christianity, not sure on Islam) is not the ruler of Hell, but the ruler or Earth. He was cast down to Earth from Heaven, and rules this realm. Hell is reserved as a place of punishment for those who have sinned in the eyes of God. No one rules over Hell except God, because He rules over all places. Satan is supposed to wind up in Hell as well, being tortured for turning his back on God. And that whole “is better to rule in Hell than serve in Heaven” line is not from a religious text, before someone tried to rebut with that.
“Leisurely” is an adjective, not an adverb. Other than that it was good, but it threw me off for the whole story.
Look at me, I can read previous comments and copy them! It wasn’t creepy, but hot damn it was good. I enjoyed this pasta more than I’ve enjoyed any pasta for a long, long time. Majorly winful ending, excellent details.
This story made me content. I’m glad it was the most recent one so it could be the last one I read before bed. Excellent, very well done. I’d give you the first perfect score I’d ever given, but~ It wasn’t creepy, and this is creepypasta.
But still wonderful, to the point where I will share this story with others and be proud just to have found it. 9/10.
BUT, WHO WAS VILLAGE?
THE SUN HIT THIS TOWN WHILE THIS GUY WAS RUNNING REAL FAST AND THERE WERE DOGS.
Uhh…. wat?
good pasta. not creepy, just very sad, but had good imagery.
You can actually feel the arrogance in this paragraph.
THIS IS A GOOD PASTA. I LIKE IT A LOT. Uh, anyway…
@ Kelsey:
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/leisurely
It can be used as both. I looked it up in Webster’s, because I don’t trust dictionary.com entirely, and it says “leisure - n. bla bla bla bla leisurely - adj. or adv.”
@ Sama:
I feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Yay me.
And miktar and OAIEBH made me lol. Yay you.
You’re reading horror stories and are complaining this one is nonsensical?
I question the logic behind “hell.”
Actually, I question the logic in religions, or more like the lack of it. Every damn religion we’ve got is a total clusterfuck.
And that’s why I don’t like “omghell” stories.
Not scary, but NOM NOM NOM
mmm?….. it’s almost like there was a 100 $ across the street and just as your fingers touch it…..
you get hit by a truck…..
other than that i dont like this one that much….i like that its short.. but this made me laugh because i knew that something bad would happen to him -_- it’s just to easy but i still like the idea alot
hey, i can overuse adverbs and adjectives too!
I REALLY liked this one.
It wasn’t creepy but unsettling on some level…
Excellent execution. I loved the last two sentences. Perfect.
If you didn’t like this story, you’re a moron. It was well written EXCEPT for…
“Cool sunlight.”
wut
Purgatory.
Read this before somewhere.
Same author?
great concept, but could have been executed better. Not too bad though.
I didn’t care for this
@Gegner: I have no idea where you’re getting your information from, but I’m a Christian and I’ve never heard that logic in my life.
As far as the pasta goes… not creepy, but rather sad. I’ve never thought of Hell as being physchological torment, rather than physical. It would make sense, though, in my opinion… Anyways, I thought this was very well written.
That past tense hits hard doesn’t it?
@ Sage:
There are four places this story should exist on the internet:
1. Here
2. The creepypasta forum
3. My deviantart account
4. A small, private forum
@ Teddi:
wut
NICE, NOT SCARY EXACTLY BUT STILL VERY NICE
ummm, oops, left caps locks on
Ah hah. That was fantastic.
LOL @ mitkar :L
awww maaan…that story is too sad…it wasnt creepy but it sure got my attention
Thought it was gonna suck.
When the read the ending sentences, it didn’t. Bravo.
Wow. I thought this was gonna suck.
Until I read the finishing sentences. Wow. Bravo.
Makes me think of the Greek stories of a man’s punishment to push a rock up a hill every day, and just as he reaches the top, the rock falls to the bottom.
This is too much like The Sandman, where Morpheus says that hell would have no power if its inhabitants couldn’t dream of heaven.
Read any Camus lately?
LOVED IT
Wow. I feel like crying a bit now.
Anonymous: That’s my favorite Twilight Zone evarr! 8D
I love this, but made me sad
After all, shoving lava up peoples asses gets boring for satan.
It was pretty good. ^^
I have to agree, it was a good story and the Greek esque style really was well done.
Step one: Roll rock up hill
Step two: ?????
Step three: Profit!
LOOK AT ME I CAN INSULT PEOPLE WHO DON’T AGREE WITH ME. THE ONLY COOL THING LEFT FOR ME TO DO IS CAPS LOCK.
i hope he makes it next time.
no seriously
Loved this. However, if the Hellhounds only come for him when he’s just about to reach his family, why doesn’t he just live in that nice little valley for all eternity? At least that way he’s away from all the torture and horror that existing in Hell entails.
Oh, wow, shit.
That’s really depressing…
I sort of saw it coming but it was still great and the last line was very poetic.
More like, “Despair”
blahhh: \"hey, i can overuse adverbs and adjectives too!\"
…Evidently, you can\’t…O.O
I really appreciate that Violent Harvest is defending my story.
A proud moment for me.