Stop. No, don’t look. It just encourages them.
You know who I’m talking about. Them. More specifically, her. Keep those eyes focused here, don’t look. Don’t even glance. Use your peripherals, because I know you see her. Just at the very edge of your vision?
Glance to the left side of the monitor, but don’t glance beyond it. There, your peripherals should have picked up a bit more. You saw her in the corner, didn’t you? You saw her black hair billowing across her pale face, the loose nightgown she wears over her emaciated frame. She’s been there for a while, just waiting. That’s how they spend their time. The spirits of the damned. The ones unfit for heaven, yet avoiding hell. The ones who walk the Earth with their sins on their shoulders. They live in constant, insurmountable, indescribable pain. The story goes that when St. Peter takes pity on a soul who has committed a grave sin, like murder, rape, torture, cannibalism, or worse, he punishes that soul and sends them back to our plane, to exist among the living until they’ve successfully repented for their sins. But first, he rips out their eyes, so that they can covet nought. Then he tears their jawbone from their skull, so that they cannot speak evils.
No, don’t look. She has moved closer, but that is only her curiosity. She can’t actually see you, not as you could see her. She sees in outlines, in blurs and motions. Her empty sockets let her see a person’s soul, yet it is useless to her. She lives not on the person, but on the body. Her spirit hungers for communion of the flesh, but she is eternally denied. Only the Savior can be a proper conduit of communion, to satisfy her cravings. She has tried, though. She has tried often in the past.
She certainly has taken an interest in you, hasn’t she? You see, she feeds on the living. She, like many before her, found humans to alleviate her ailments. She starves for communion, but humans like yourself can work as a…placebo, of sorts. She’ll try to get you to turn, to see into the voids which take residence over where her eyes used to be. She’ll pull you in, hypnotizing you with the dark, hollow sockets. She’ll close in even more, excitedly exhaling on your supple skin. She’ll jab her rotted teeth into your slender neck and lap the blood with her flopping tongue. I’ll scrape in with my fangs and scoop out your flesh like ice cream. I’ll yelp with glee at the warmth of your innards as I slash into your fatty abdomen. I’ll pull the bones from their sinew and suck the marrow out like a candied filling. I’ll jab my bony fingers into your eyes and take them for my own. I’ll rip your jawbone from your skull and use it as my own. I’ll become whole again, with your help.
But it’ll only work–
–if you look.
Copyright Statement: Unless explicitly stated, all stories published on Creepypasta.com are the property of (and under copyright to) their respective authors, and may not be narrated or performed under any circumstance.
I’ve made a review of this story here
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQ9s2FCtX_8&feature=youtu.be.
Wow, I wrote a creepypasta pretty much EXACTLY like this one. I had no idea it even existed, that must be why it ended up on CRAPPYPASTA.COM.
Haayy!!!! Waddaya mean, “fatty abdomen!!”…
This is unsettling and that’s the type of pasta I love.
Ok so at the part where it said “You saw her black hair billowing across her pale face” when I was looking to the left side of my computer screen, I nearly lost it. My background is a screenshot of a fake Tommy Wiseau twitter account, and, as all profiles go, a picture of him with his long black hair and pale face is to the left. I couldn’t tell you if this pasta was scary or not because I was laughing the rest of the way through.
Good length. Good content. I certainly got the creep factor with the end, there.
But if you are a tortured soul with no eyes how are you typing this?
Am i interpreting it wrong?
I see things all the time but they never actually hurt me. Lame.
omg I am sitting in pitch blackness with my lap top right now shitting bricks.
I love reading the comments after I get this creeped out, lol they make me laugh and forget how scared I am
i looked and my black scarf scared the shit out of me
“Glance to the left side of the monitor” my monitor is on a wall WHAT NOW???
My sister is to my left…. o.o shit.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hyS_KFxSqdY
Delicious pasta… 8.5/10
Am i the only one who got turned on towards the end?
Meh..Looked,saw nothing. Not very scary,but I like the motive of it.
Delightfully creepy. That perspective change… very freaky.
This probably would have been creepier to me if it wasn’t daytime and my 13-month-old wasn’t running around the room behind me, shouting for no reason… I really liked it, though! I’ll try reading it again a few days when it’s dark out and the kids are asleep… That should do it…..
there’s a pillow to my left.
That’s kinda creepy because I have a painting that my mother did hanging to the left of my monitor and it sort of looks as described. o_O
Wait, creepy dead lady, are you trying to tell me that I should change the freaking channel? Why than you, because I really don’t want to have to listen to twilight playing in the background!
*thank
I’m against the wall on the left side. Your move.
SHE IIIIIISS THE WALL
A bit cliché. An entire paragraph describing gore. Oh and the whole pale-woman-with-black-hair-wearing-dress/gown is by no means the most overused imagery in horror.
HOLY SHIT. Guess who’s not sleeping tonight? -.-
I aint even scurrrred.
Well I’m stuck facing downwards onto a screen for the rest of my life…
I disagree with the reviewers who think the rapid switching from 3rd to 1st person narration was ineffective. I thought it was awesome. :)
I didn’t read any comments so I apologize if anybody has said this but, how is she eating him without a jaw..
I loved this. The only thing that would have made it better was if somehow you made it so we imagine something out of the corner of our eye. Still amazing. I loved the change to first person at the end.
This was wonderful. I seriously felt as though someone was watching me.
Wonderful, very well written. I love this genre of pasta…
Interactive
omg that was awsome O_O
Lol that my ex-girlfriend
Hide me
Delicious pasta! Though the “Grudge Girl” look is a little unoriginal. Overall though it was ghastly! ;D
Yay, no more sleep.
i looked lol
All aboard the nope train to fuck that ville.
Am I the only one who realized that at first it was Her talking about herself in the third person? Smh.
Holy shit. I glanced to the left. You know what I saw? Her. She was close, too. She came closer as I read. In a moment of stupidity I turned to look. I made a dying whale noise and almost fell off my chair. I relaxed when I realised it was just my mother. And she was looking at me as if I was a total retard.
Amazing pasta, though
CURSE MY INSANITY DX I SAW HER I SWEAR TH- oh hey! its just a kitty com’ere kitty ^.^ OH WAIT THERE SHE IS AGAIN !!!!!!!!!!!
while reading this, my reaction
*you see her? part*
me: “hmm..”
*she has been a damned soul*
me: “aww, i want to give her a hug, but let me finish this”
*she will blah blah*
me: O_O “okay a little gruesome but, lets keep reading”
*but-only if you look*
me: O-O “im sure as hell happy that i didnt look.”
thats weird because when it said look at the corner of the screen i saw an image then read on to see that the description of her is exactly what i saw but it went away after i finished reading
“glance to the left side of your monitor”
I’m reading this on an iPod!!!
Sounds like the grudge. Why can’t these evil beings have blonde hair???
Holy shit. Creeped me out even though I didn’t imagine anything. First started to get unnerved by “She certainly has taken an interest in you, hasn’t she?” Love the way you slowly got more graphic and switched to first person.
Love it.
9.5/10
I LOOKED AHHHHHHH!!!!!
I turned around and all I saw was candlejack and oh shit I just said his name didn’t I.
THANK GOD IT’S BRIGHT IN HERE
Great pasta, the beginning sounds like mine, the titile attracted mine because it’s the same as the pasta i’ve been working on. it shall now be called “The girl”
Looked to the left.
I saw her.
*shudders*
This one made me afraid to turn to the side. Very creepy, and I like the sudden change from third to first person. The pasta suddenly becomes not so much a cautionary message as an entity communicating with you.
I think I need to stop reading these right before bed…
I seriously have to say this. THAT WAS AMAZING! great post, i’m at school right now, right next to a door and this girl walked in and i swear to god i almost exploded! way to go :D
A tasty pasta, to be sure. My only real complaint is that the transition at the end wasn\\\’t very smooth, and kind of kept it from going into full paranoia territory. Still pretty scrumptious though.
8/10
Weak
This would have worked… But i am on my iPod touch right now so my monitor is tiny.
I dared to look to my left, only to find a wall with a GTA IV map on it. Well, it’s good to know that she’s stuck in Liberty City, I guess! I’m still scared to play GTA IV though D:
F – U – C – K
Dude, how im going to sleep tonight?
Wanna fap but can\’t due to crazy jawless bitch? Here\’s how you too can get rid of this problem.
Step 1. Notice her but don\’t let her notice you noticing her.
Step 2. WAIT for her to get within arm\’s reach.
Step 3. FALCON PUNCH!
Step 4. Throw her back into the TV/Ship her to Japan/Back down the well/Other generic crazy ghost bitch disposal methods.
Step 5. Fap.
Actually a bit creepy. This kind of pasta always makes me a bit afraid to turn around.
Nice. Would’ve scared me if not for the fact that there is a wall a few inches to my left. Nice try, missy.
The only place you could be now is to the right, which is just ridiculous. You don\’t exist. I\’m looking to the right right now to show you that you ain\’t reaOHSHITSHITSHIT
Wait, no! I’m full of cholesterol! I’ll give you hypertension and you’ll die again! I-I’m too chewy! No! Stop! Don\’t doAHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Wait… if you\’re right next to me than how did you post this pasta telling me you\’re right next to me?
Also, NOT LOOKING IS JUST WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO i\’M LOOKING
………………….. OH GOD NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BLARGLEARGLEGURLEURGLEBURGLE!
Fatty abdomen? Pfft bitch you lost me there
Creepy girl, white nightgown, pales skin, long black hair? Now where have I read that before? Oh yeah, that’s right, every single fucking pasta on this sight. Moar originality pl0x
This is the freakiest pasta I have ever read. Well done.
it didnt really work out for me cause there is a wall not even five inches to my left. But im pretty sure it would have if there wasnt a wall. thats a scary story lol.
F-fatty abdomen? D:
Testing balls
*looks left*
Yup pure titanium
Go on. Look. I dare you.
Fear the Darkness
-Nex
i read this and out of the corner of my eye saw something and got scred shitless. turns out it was just my shadowthat was in the left corner of my room XD
“She’ll jab her rotted teeth into your slender neck and lap the blood with her flopping tongue.”
Ew. No thank you.
So… Head is out of the question..?
“She’ll jab her rotted teeth into your slender neck and lap the blood with her flopping tongue.”
Dude what the fuck. I couldn’t keep reading after this lump of shit.
Pasta fucking sucked hard.
Fantastic pasta. Its been a while since I’ve read one that actually creeped me out a little. Wonderful imagry.
I am sure as hell not looking.
uhuh
@mooooose: yeah, that sounds hot to me too.
Also, how ca she byte if her lower jaw has been ripped out? Pretty meh pasta.
It’s funny ‘cuz there’s a wall to the left.
If she pokes out my eyes… She’ll ruin them… And if she ruins them… How can she use them…
“’ll jab my bony fingers into your eyes and take them for my own.” She does so. ” Oh, wait…” SHe says with honest surprise. ” It seems that I have ruined these eyes.” “Here, you can have them back.” She says as she places the eyes back into your skull. “Sorry to have inconvenienced you.” She says as she walks out the door.
I have a 360-degree field of vision. THERE IS NO CORNER OF MY EYE.
I didn’t see anything in the reflection of my laptop’s monitor, but I sure as fuck am not turning around any time soon.
Good write, I kind of predicted the ending as much. But still, great details and structure. But allow me to give you a massive FUCK YOU to you. I have a large mirror on the left side of me, and looking through peripheral vision, it kind of did look like a girl was in my room D;
My computers in the corner and there isn’t anything to the left of it except the wall, so I didn’t read past the first paragraph.
Brix were shat.
Not to mention the fact that my house is a hundred years old and happens to be where there hundreds of revolutionary war soldiers were buried. And I have a freakin’ enormous mirror that FALLS OVER RANDOMLY in my room. And I saw her… I’ve seen her before, too…
Delicious, eerie pasta, but I don’t think… the lights will be going out tonight.
right as i finished reading this my light went out :(
ugh creepy
I looked… and yelled at my dresser >=( I bet he was on her side the entire time… >_>
Please look… for me… please…
OMFG! WHY?! Why is it always a creepy GIRL with DARK HAIR! For god’s sake PICK A BLONDE FOR ONCE!
@Gegner:
I think that they’d have to choose for themselves to repent and not eat people. If not, why bother sending them back to repent if they aren’t given the choices to allow them to do so?
imo lulz
Aw, didn’t like the ending. Wished it had been more strong/forcible.
But otherwise, deliciously spine-chilling pasta.
dead crazy girl bitches with long black hair = overused. This pasta is covered in maggots and the sauce is a mix of piss and shit. 1 skull.
Damn it. I was going through the site last night, and wouldn;t read this one out of fear. Thoguht reading it in the iddle of the sday would be better. Now I’m home alone, and can’t stop looking over my shoulder…. GREAT PASTA
Is it wrong that I got a hard-on from her?
Nice.
But I see my mom sitting on the couch to the left out of my peripheral vision. My computer is in the living room
My eye hurts ._. I will forever be paranoid when I see something out of the corner of my eye.
great story! although it’s best read at night with dim lights. the overall impact diminishes if you can’t imagine something at the corner of your eye.
“She’ll close in even more, excitedly exhaling on your supple skin. She’ll jab her rotted teeth into your slender neck and lap the blood with her flopping tongue.”
Sounds hot.
whitenoise: are you joking? having mirros and doors is perfect for, like, 80% of whats on this site. all you need now is a china doll sitting next to you, and maybe an old book, and you’re set for every story.
but yeah, i’ll admit, it was a good little while before i could convince myself to look left.
I looked and all I saw was my Candlejack doll. I feel gypped, this story’s a ri
I thought it was good at first. Creepy, well written. Then the end suddenly just changed to first person and left me saying “whuuuh?”
Me like.
Especially the change in perspective.
Well done.
There’s a mirror on my right, a door on my left and another door behind me. A terrible arrangement for reading creepypasta.
I have a wall to my left too, so I guess it’s safe to loOH SHI-
WHO WAS FATTY ABDOMEN?
*NOM NOM NOM*
Shit that’s good.
The last paragraph is just describing a gory scene.
Things aren’t creepy when they’re just gore.
Very good pasta, but the door to my left didn’t gnaw on me. DDD=
I really don’t get some of the people posting here. Creepypasta = fiction, so what the hell does it matter if we throw in a religious backstory? I’m a friggin Atheist myself and I saw no harm nor foul in including the Christian-based explanation of why a fictional spirit is fictionally ripping apart a fictional “you”.
I think I read this before…it is written nicely :-D
and it is also very creepy
This was a good one.
I’m laying on my bed reading this on my blackberry. Only thing to my left is pillow. Lol and it seems some atheists are having the same problem as i am, only i am a christian. St. Peter Is catholic stuff btw. i think we just get judgement. That’s it. Not to start a debate or anything… But seriously… WHO WAS FATTY ABDOMEN?
I looked and my fucking wardrobe made a bang noise :S
This was an interesting story, right until the shift in perspective in the last paragraph, from third person to first. It killed the fun, and made this stupid.
This was an interesting story, right until the shift in perspective in the last paragraph, from third person to first. It killed the fun, and made this stupid.
But WHO WAS GIRL?
But serious, I fackin shat brix.
D:
Bitch called me fat. >:-(
http://tinypic.com/r/2rgf4tl/5
NO WAY.
Terrible. Forced, trite, cookie-cutter pasta that reads like it came from some sort of pasta-generating bot.
Nope, not looking.
Hehe, nice pasta!
It’s 3:11 now, dark and silent everywhere…
and I couldn’t look to the left for like forever.
And when I did, I got pretty evil chills.
But I’m still alive, so everything’s fine.
It’s too bad I don’t have a ‘fatty abdomen’. :P
ahhaha my black-haired sister came in the room when i was reading this pasta. the door is to the left of my moniter.
Am I the only one who couldn’t stop laughing through the descriptions?
Creeped me out a bit, and I see where the narrator getting excited and slipping up may have come in with the change in perspective….But I didn’t really like it. *shrug* Too many like this. Getting….A bit old, I suppose.
this is surprisingly one of my favorites.
yummy pasta.
I liked it. I pictured that chick from the Grudge, but okay.
Well, I don’t see anything to the left of my monitor.
The right, however, is a different story…
Beautiful pasta.
But now I’m afraid to get up.
:c
Kinda creepy, actually. Good job, I haven’t been creeped out in a long time.
i looked =P
I am so scared, I refuse to look, and that’s at daytime with people in the room. Very nicely written, enjoyed the transition from ‘she’ to ‘I’
i turned and saw a man. hmm :\ hehe love this pasta it’s kool
@Bri/x/ – You just turned my fear into gales of laughter.
@Bri/x/ – You just turned my fear into gales of laughter
The last paragraph, the “I’m gonna rip you into shreds of tattered shit and love it” part, ruined it.
The perspective change scared the crap outta me.
Bitch, please. You must have a mental disease. Assume the position, and get back down on your knees.
I saw a really dark shadow of myself in a reflection and I moved forward so i could read easier when ” she” was moving closer. i am wearing a white shirt, and right at the end i turned left really fast and laughed at myself…My mind messes with me when i read these…
Very nice pasta.
When people read it, they’ll shit brix. BRIX.
I like how it seamlessly changed from third person to first person.
Hey, thanks for all the constructive criticism. It was a bit rushed, but the perspective change was intentional. In hindsight it probably could have been done more smoothly, but that’s something that’ll come with time.
I do intend to keep subbing, though. Maybe I’ll actually make a scary pasta for once.
I looked at the same time my neighbour decided to open my door.
Now I need to change my pants.
BRIX WERE SHAT.
I’m actually shaking :|
aw man.
this would have been a really good pasta if I read it at night time alone
I looked. A lot.
Bricks were shat. I loved it.
I love it, but I think that only these lines should be in first person:
“’ll jab my bony fingers into your eyes and take them for my own. I’ll rip your jawbone from your skull and use it as my own. I’ll become whole again, with your help.”
Those are the main points from earlier, and it’ll be sufficiently creepy beforehand, while building suspense to make your point.
I love it, but I think that just these lines should be first person:
“’ll jab my bony fingers into your eyes and take them for my own. I’ll rip your jawbone from your skull and use it as my own. I’ll become whole again, with your help.”
Those are the main points from earlier, and it’ll be sufficiently creepy beforehand, while building suspense to make your point.
I love how it goes from her, to I. It makes it get scarier.
I liked it more or less.
Not very creepy to me.
Hmmm, I don’t it’s a good idea to provide too much detail for the instructions regarding the peripheral vision. Because face it, I can’t see any-
D: that wuz scaryy
i like ittttt
The change in perspective was jarring for a second, but it suddenly made the story that much more intense. However, not one of my favorites. It’s nothing that I haven’t seen before.
Holy fuck I felt something tickling at the back of my neck XD But then I realized it was just my hair..after I read this pasta and looked. Brix were shat.
Yeah, um…there’s a wall on my left.
FAIL.
BITCH CALLED ME FAT >:I
Meh
WHO WAS CRAZY BITCH?!
random change in perspective for the win! (I’m serious, I just about shat myself when that happened…)
@BUT WHO WAS JAW?
But you wouldn’t have a problem with, say, other mythical monsters and such?
And yes, I’m an Atheist too, but that line just didn’t mesh well. Even though I perfectly why — we have to deal with these fucks, but we’ll never meet a demon. It’s *all* fantasy, so might as well enjoy all kinds of “yay evil things”.
If you hadn’t have done Christain references it would have been scarier to me; being an Athiest, but still very well done
This was pretty good, made me look D=
Doesn’t help that I heard sounds coming from the hallway, and what sounds like muttering from the vents, and the OH SHIT CRAZY EYELESS BITCH GET IN THE CAR!
i loved this one, :D
but WHO WAS MONITOR?
Yea, I know the point is to be creepy but the shift in point of view didn’t work.
Same issue as Lieto – I have a wall to my left. And the change in perspective also threw me a little bit out of the story.
Plus, wouldn’t it be a tad counter-productive to send souls back to this plane for repentance, yet give them the ability to dismemeber and devour the living? Is St. Peter so bored at the Pearly Gates that he has gone to dropping peote in his free time?
she she she i i i…lol wut?
u is she? or she is i? no…wait…SHE AIN’T GOTZ NO EYEZZ!!!!111
Not…bad. I’m not a fan of christian mythos, so that was a bit of a turn-off, but other than that it was good. Excellent use of the she/I transition near the end. 8/10.
omg this was legit creepy
I have to say pretty good pasta but what the hell is wrong with St. Peter?
Hmmm, I took the perspective change as the narrator getting all excited in the descriptions and slipping up.
i sorta agree with comment leaver, really great pasta, but the change and stay with the perspective was to sudden, but very well done
The transition from third to first-person was a great idea, but could have been made more smoothly. Should be a less obtrusive and sudden realization. Though, I imagine it would be tricky to phrase . . .
I looooooked!
AHHHHHHHH!
Nothing happened.
Nevermind that, I suck cocks, I tottally looked. XD
thanks for warning me, now I sure as hell ain’t looking.
creepy grudge girl = not good story.
and the changing from she to i is dumb.
st. peter’s a pretty kick ass bouncer, i must say. he takes pity on souls by ripping their shit up then puts them on a plane.
Awesome pasta.
I’m paranoid as fuck now.
My left eye hurts.
“as I slash into your fatty abdomen”
That was uncalled for. 8(
can’t
look
left
._.
Sent chills up my spine. Very good pasta.
there’s sort of a wall about a foot from my face but otherwise good pasta!
Storries on this site never seem to scare me any more…
I love this pasta, but I want one that’ll have me quivering and crying with fear.
That may be hard to write though, but if any pasta authors out there that would like to take me up on this, I check this site daily.
how do these spirits of the damned get computers anyway
I sell them computers and the Happy Mask Salesman sells them videogames to corupt. PS…to visit my website, click my name. Im so exited to meet you…yoU HaVE SucH PRittY HAIr. O)_(O
If you close your eyes, you’re eternally screwed because she’ll be in the corner of your closed eye or whatever. Great pasta, it’s quite delicious. Some creatures like this could be awesome in a horror game.
Somehow reminds me of when Stewie’s head was getting gnawed on by that retarded horse lol.
I liked this one quite a bit, actually. Well done.
OH FUCK my cat is STARING STRAIGHT AT ME from the corner of my vision like ‘Oh, ya got me, I’m a cursed spirit’
I looked.
One question though, why does it switch from third person into first in the middle of the paragraph?
I quite enjoyed this one. Loved how the pronoun changed from She to I.
Hmph, simply just walk away or close your eyes.
Problem solved.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, it is the middle of the day and i think i squeezed a little bit of lemonade out. good pasta.
Sweet. 9/10
I feel the same as comment leaver it should’ve taken slightly longer to change perspective
Comment leaver, it bothers me too.
I think I’ve read too much creepypasta, as this didn’t actually scare me. Well, I also have a wall to my left.
I looked and nothing ha
I stared at the left side and saw rainb Iow dash I was like… Da fuq?
Look Look Look.!:D
Ok I really liked this. Still, am I the only one who got tripped up in the sudden change of perspective? I love Pasta’s like this but it felt like the ‘oh shit’ moment was really forced. :/ Anybody else get that feeling? Otherwise I loved it.
I looked and saw my mom sleeping on the couch. But I’ll still be paranoid as Hell whenever I spot something out of the corner of my eye, so good job :D
I like how it turned into 1st-person, by the way; it really adds to the creepyness.
Good, but somewhat killed by the fact that I didn’t see or imagine anything out of the corner of my eye.
Yeah, looking seems like a pretty bad idea.
But the idea of someone with no bottom jaw jabbing their teeth into me…is kind of lulzy, not going to lie.
I Lol’d at that.
I ain’t looking, certainly.
eye sigh is over rated
this is one of the best creepy pasta’s iv read and iv read quite a few. keep up the ghastly work
Actually, there are many better Pastas. This must have been your first one. This wasn’t good/scary at all
I am sure as hell not looking.
fortunately I’m on a tablet.U mad spirit
Same here!
Me too c: I read creepypastas mainly on my tablet.
What about a laptop?
Gorgeous Pasta, I like it.