“Hello.”
The doorbell rings, and you get up from where you sat staring stonily into space. You already know who is at your door, and why he is there. You open it, nodding numbly to the man. You make a note in your head that the man looks… sneaky, but you assume that must be because he’s a lawyer. You show him into your living room, dreading what is to come. The man hands you a CD he produces from his briefcase, and sets what looks like a birdcage on your coffee table. You can not see what is inside the cage, as it is covered in a blanket of embroidered silk. The man sits as you put the disc into your stereo and press play.
You hear the sound of stressed breathing from the speakers as you take your seat. The lawyer hasn’t said a word, but you know the breathing to be that of your late friend, the last breathes of your friend. You can hear something in the background, behind your friend’s heavy breathes, as if someone, or something, was scratching at a door. You wonder if you’re hearing things, as the sound is barely audible in the recording. You look up as you hear her voice, as if she was in the room with you, as if she was alive.
“The date is September the first of two thousand eight.” Her voice is shaky, every word she speaks is saturated with fear, “This is my last will and testament. Now, I don’t have much time. They’re almost here, so I’ll dispense the formalities and get on with what I have to say. This is the last day of my life, as you have probably already figured out.”
“This began with the death of my uncle. I had never known him very well, only a few times at family reunions and Christmas parties, but he had left me something on his will. I sat awkwardly through the reading of the document until at last, my name was called. I collected a small box of knick-knacks and a covered cage. On the cage was a note saying ‘Please do not unveil the surprise until you are home.’ So I hurried home without taking the silk blanket off of the cage. What was inside the box is of no consequence, but underneath the blanket – I warn you do not take the blanket off until this recording has ended – is an old birdcage. Inside of this bird cage , is a parrot.”
“I was indeed surprised, but there were more shocks to come. When I lifted the blanket, the bird’s eyes were immediately fixed on me. Its beady eyes shone wickedly upon seeing a new face, and it said plainly in a squawky voice, ‘hello’. I stared back at it, and it repeated itself, ‘hello.’ I dismissed it as a cute trick my uncle had taught it. I was very wrong.”
“The next day, when I took the blanket off of the cage, I was not greeted with a ‘hello’. No, on the second day the bird didn’t talk at all. What it did do was breathe loudly, as if it was hyperventilating, or at least copying someone who was terrified. On the third day the bird did not speak, but made the sound of a grown man crying. I was very disturbed, and covered the cage for the remainder of the day.”
“The fourth day, in a voice not unlike my recently departed uncle’s, the bird cried ‘Oh god. Oh god!’ I thought the bird had learned it from listening to the television, and I resolved to never let it hear the television again. I didn’t turn o n the TV all that day, but on the fifth day, when I uncovered the cage, the bird screamed. Not a normal scream, mind you, and it was nothing I had ever had turned on the television. It was the sound of a man screaming in terror and pain. It was, I know now, the scream my uncle gave when he was killed. When the bird screams again it will be my scream as they tear me apart, for even now the bird is listening to me. It stares at me coldly where I’ve barricaded myself in the kitchen.”
“As you life depends on it, do not yet uncover the cage.”
“The sixth day, yesterday, when I hesitantly uncovered the cage, the bird was quiet. Perhaps ten minutes later it cocked its head to the side, as if it had heard something I could not. ‘They’re coming.’ it whispered, ‘They’re coming’. Over and over again he repeated in a haunting voice. ‘They’re coming’”
“Today is the seventh day, and they are here, just as the bird said. I can hear them scratching at the door and crawling in the walls. The bird is waiting to record how I die, I swear, if it coul d grin it would have been grinning from the moment I uncovered its cage. The noises are getting louder, they’ll get in soon, so I’m saying goodbye now. Take care of the bird; I couldn’t think of anyone else to give it to, I’m sorry. You must take care of him till they come for you. You have seven days.”
The track ended suddenly, and you look around you, startled. You must have been entranced by the disc, for the lawyer was gone. You hadn’t noticed him leave. You stare at the covered cage on the coffee table, and wonder if you had just heard on the CD was real, or just some elaborate hoax. A rustling comes from underneath the embroidered silk. Your curiosity begs you to see what’s in the cage. You slowly raise up the blanket.
“Hello.”
–
Credited to apoisonedlogic.
Posted in Beings & Entities, Murders & Deaths
September 17th, 2008 at 7:07 am
Why did neither of them think to let the parrot fly away?
September 17th, 2008 at 11:06 am
common sense? on my creepy pasta?
September 17th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
WHO WAS PARROT?
September 17th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
Yeah. Interesting pasta but the sheer lack of intelligence on behalf of the characters saddens me.
September 17th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
And since I’m posting as Anon, I guess it can’t be helped.
THEN WHO WAS LAWYER?
September 17th, 2008 at 12:31 pm
Like hell I’m keeping that bird! Little bastard is now dinner.
September 17th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
Hello, Cracky.
Curiosity.
When viewing a situation, one can freely criticize and speak with the wisdom of an outsider. It is a simple matter to see the errors of another because they do not concern you, thus your mind remains cool and can easily see the folly of the observed.
When directly involved, matters are no longer so clearly visible.
Curiosity is a wonderful thing, allowing humanity to stretch its mind to the heavens and become something more than than the sum of its parts.
It is also damning.
That is wonderful as well.
September 17th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
………green chicken ! ….either way i would have killed it >:3
nice pasta
September 17th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
mm yes i was thinking why didnt she just kill it >< ugh.
September 17th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
The bird is just there to record your death, you’d still die even if you did kill it.
September 17th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
Does keeping it covered let you live?
September 17th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
that or killing it…what would happen if you killed the bird?
September 17th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
Well, I’ve a question.. why not get rid of the bird? And why the hell are people coming after you if you have a bird?
Sounds like an irritating parrot to me.
September 17th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
so wait…these “things” will come for you just because you have some weird bird? Sounds like the ignorant thought that just because you watched a horror movie, the events in the horror movie will occur in real life…i’m just saying.
September 17th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
Yeeaaah.
If this ever happens to me, that little fucker is going back to the pet store >.>
I really enjoyed this one, though.
September 17th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
Why did she need to leave it to anyone in the will? Part of the curse?
If so… Why leave it to a friend?
September 17th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
@cracky, the parrot probably wouldn’t have left the cage had they tried, that’s how it works with mysterious death-predicting birds.
i’m barricaded in the kitchen…may as well make a cd, right?
WHO WAS SCRATCHING AND WALL-CRAWLING?!
September 17th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
Cracky: Most parrots have the feathers of their wings clipped to keep them from being able to fly away. Also, this is a parrot of evil. It would probably just have perched itself someplace out of reach and waited. Evil, much like Chuck Norris, does not sleep; it waits.
September 17th, 2008 at 4:05 pm
I would have fucked that bird up before it had the opportunity to say “Hello”, or anything else for that matter. Fuck that bird.
September 17th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
<3 this story.
September 17th, 2008 at 4:21 pm
Thought it was great. But I agree that they should have just opened the cage and let it fly out.
September 17th, 2008 at 4:37 pm
Pffft, some friend she is. Why don’t they just kill the damn thing?
September 17th, 2008 at 4:42 pm
If the parrot did that to me I would’ve jumped on its shoulders with both of my feet and then swiftly twisting my feet, instantly snapping that fucking birds neck
September 17th, 2008 at 4:51 pm
Why did this idiot uncover the cage, even after hearing this recording? Why didn’t he just drive into the middle of nowhere and leave the cage behind?
September 17th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
that’s what i was thinking , why not kill the bird.
September 17th, 2008 at 5:25 pm
Well-written and all, but….
It’s like The Ring.
Only with feathers.
September 17th, 2008 at 5:43 pm
WHO WAS PARROT?
too ring-like
September 17th, 2008 at 5:57 pm
THEN WHO WAS BIRD
September 17th, 2008 at 5:58 pm
I would probably kill the parrot :[
September 17th, 2008 at 6:24 pm
Yeah, I’dve been having parrot stew after the third day.
September 17th, 2008 at 6:40 pm
@Cracky, I don’t know, but I don’t really like this pasta. There are too many logical things that could have been done to prevent it.
September 17th, 2008 at 6:49 pm
When I first saw the title, I thought it was a story about/by Mr. Welldone.
September 17th, 2008 at 7:03 pm
But WHO WAS BIRD?!
and WHO WAS MAN?
And why the HECK did the friend decide to leave the bird to ANYONE? Better to die(because it was inevitable) but why kill your friend by leaving it a killer magical birdmonster? The whole thing stinks with stupididty.
I liked it,though.
September 17th, 2008 at 7:34 pm
After Hearing All Of That, You Would Think That The Person Would Just Abandon The Bird Somewhere…
September 17th, 2008 at 7:52 pm
BUT WHO WAS LAWYER?
It was really good. I liked it a lot, but then again, you know, there’s that giant plothole that Cracky mentioned.
September 17th, 2008 at 8:08 pm
dude, why the hell would you give your friend something that you knew would kill them in seven days?
(p.s. BUT WHO WAS BIRD?!)
September 17th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
Yeah, or kill it. Also, why would the uncle give his own niece something like that?
September 17th, 2008 at 9:36 pm
i agree with Cracky…
and if i was the friend [the alive one]
why would i unveil the bird?
it would do the same thing to me…let it go or kill it.
i can’t help but wonder what those things are, they must be following the bird for some reason, but i guess it doesn’t really matter.
and some friend she is! she knew the bird sort of caused her uncle’s death and sort of caused her own as well and she gave the bird to her friend ><
i didn’t like this too much
September 17th, 2008 at 9:40 pm
“you know the breathing to be that of your late friend, the last breathes of your friend. You can hear something in the background, behind your friend’s heavy breathes”
That is some seriously awkward wording.
September 17th, 2008 at 10:39 pm
BUT THEN WHO WAS LAWYER?
September 17th, 2008 at 11:05 pm
Some friend! Why the hell would she you the parrot!? I mean seriously! I wasn’t too thrilled with this one.
Also, why not just kill the parrot?
September 17th, 2008 at 11:52 pm
@ Seite
Same here.
But I was kinda too scared to say anything >.>
September 18th, 2008 at 12:45 am
*flails*
my friend has a parrot that says hello to anyone who walks in the house alone but not in groups she has never heard it because it only does it to her friends including me it scared me so bad i refuse to step foot in her house
September 18th, 2008 at 2:24 am
Hmm, I would have to go with Mr. Well done on this one, curiosity is a very powerful tool, and I believe that is more what the story is about. Curiosity killed the cat, aka. Human in this story.
The curse might be that you give it to your friend, or have you forgotten, the parrot MIMICS! Who’s to say the PARROT didn’t make that tape? If you ask me that tape had a bit too much information from only 1 day of scratching. I’m down in Mississippi, I went to get my car fixed and in the roof of the damn place, I could hear rats crawling around. IT WAS THE PARROT WHO MADE THE TAPE!!!!!!
September 18th, 2008 at 2:32 am
What if this parrot doesn’t die? What if it can’t even be removed from it’s cage?
What if, when you leave it in a deserted area far from your home, it’s waiting for you wherever you choose to stay, home or not? It’s obviously not a normal bird… chances are it and this fate cannot be escaped.
But, none of this was brought up. Oh well.
September 18th, 2008 at 2:49 am
“It stares at me coldly where I’ve barricaded myself in the kitchen.”
…can a bird stare at you warmly?
its always the same expression.
September 18th, 2008 at 3:42 am
LOL @ Seite
September 18th, 2008 at 11:43 am
I heared parrot tastes like chicken
September 18th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
@Hops Diggins
Birds eyes dont really change, youre right, but sometimes just based on their beaks, or the way their heads are turned they LOOK like theyre smiling.
Like how a cat or dog can look like theyre smiling, even when their mouths and eyes dont move.
*Raises birds*
September 18th, 2008 at 5:40 pm
Very nice. But it’s unclear what those things are…
And it seems like the Ring. However, I still enjoyed it.
September 18th, 2008 at 6:05 pm
Don’t even lift the blanket over the cage- straight in the fucking microwave. Didn’t see that one coming, death-predicting bird!
September 19th, 2008 at 12:56 am
Like most paranormal animals/babies/toys the parrot probably can’t be harmed.
And as for leaving it around? You doom another person just to save yourself.
To finish, the narrator isn’t an idiot.
An idiot would immediately believe that parrots can summon demons.
September 19th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
if that was me, i’d stab the little shit
September 19th, 2008 at 11:17 pm
it leaves a lot for the imagination, but i’d still like to know….what the hell????????????????
who are “they” and why do they come when you get a bird….????
September 20th, 2008 at 11:49 pm
Hello!
September 21st, 2008 at 12:06 am
The bird isn’t the curse, it merely records what will happen, once the will is pass it will happen no matter what in seven days. What a crappy friend to pass this curse.
September 21st, 2008 at 3:15 am
@ 56…so the bird isn’t the curse, but he records what happens when you get the curse…and you can only get the curse by getting the bird?…
but you say the bird is still not the curse…
that makes zero sense mate
September 22nd, 2008 at 4:39 pm
*cricket cricket*
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:46 pm
Me: hello
Parrot: RAH! hello
Me: How come you just cant fly away?
Parrot: BITCH, MY WINGS ARE CLIPPED!
September 24th, 2008 at 1:58 am
yeah what was the lawyer?
/a bit confused.
September 24th, 2008 at 5:05 pm
The parrot made the CD of course!
September 24th, 2008 at 8:20 pm
That’s… creepy…0_0
September 26th, 2008 at 10:54 am
I would throw that bird into a ceiling fan.
September 27th, 2008 at 4:31 pm
Everyone keeps on commenting about how the parrot is evil or why she took it home, but noone seems to care about WHY SHE FREAKIN LISTENED TO HER UNCLE!!! It said that she was not supposed to unveil it until she took it home. She could have lifted up the silk before she got home and gotten rid of it!!!
September 30th, 2008 at 8:40 pm
#41.
I accidentally a whole parrot. Is this bad?
October 1st, 2008 at 9:27 pm
ok i would have finished the CD and did the following actions in order:
Stood up
Gotten a 12-gauge
loaded the 12-gauge
cocked the gun
aim intently at the center of the cage standing approximately 3-feet away
pulled the trigger
laughed in triumph
then hesitantly cleaned up the mess
October 3rd, 2008 at 12:34 am
What eva you parot is, you ain’t commin’ outa that cage.
October 4th, 2008 at 4:47 pm
What the f**k?? Why would she give the death parrot to a friend? Whore!
October 4th, 2008 at 4:50 pm
That could have had so much potential, the ending was terrible….why the hell did she give it to her friend?? Who are “they” and why did they use a stupid parrot as the murdering messager? And laywer is…?
So many unanswered questions *sobs*
October 6th, 2008 at 3:45 am
Seriously, why didn’t she instruct her friend to kick it into a fucking lake or something? Then the fish would have to deal with it… but we don’t care, cuz they’re fish….
October 6th, 2008 at 6:41 pm
Sorry…too much like The Ring for me to give it any props.
October 8th, 2008 at 10:57 pm
lol…
Guys, you’re forgetting this simple thing…
Was the “lawyer” really a lawyer?
Although, the ending could have been written in such a way that he was tricked into checking it, not just because he heard rustling in it…
:/
October 9th, 2008 at 2:46 am
i would have just threw the covered cage in the river…
problem solved
but good nonetheless. i enjoyed
October 9th, 2008 at 9:40 pm
ANSWER: Her friend actually thought she was a stupid bitch. She
made sex with the bird so it would skip her, she made a fake recording of her, and her sex slaves acting as the “creatures”, to prove that her friend was actually a stupid bitch.
Her friend impregnated the bird and dumped it’s ass later.
October 9th, 2008 at 10:03 pm
um guys
y would the bird not say anything until the blanket was lifted?
but i guess it would be kinda anti-climactic if the bird had been going “hellohihowyadoin” the whole time…..
October 9th, 2008 at 10:06 pm
o and also ya not demon bird.
disappearing demon lawyer.
Y DOES NO ONE QUESTION LAWYERS?
October 13th, 2008 at 5:30 pm
WHO WAS LAWYER DUDE?
October 15th, 2008 at 6:07 pm
Oh, i seez you haz lifted my blancet?
Hello
October 18th, 2008 at 1:21 am
Okay, as far as I can tell, no one suggested this, but I did skim. Anyways. I wonder what would have happened if you talked to the parrot? Maybe if you were nice to it and stuff.
October 26th, 2008 at 6:56 pm
The whole time I was reading that i couldnt help thinking bout that one episode of family guy when the star trek kid pops out of peters ass and goes “helllooooo”
October 29th, 2008 at 10:01 am
@Skwirral: I think that it was “them” the people who had killed her uncle who were scratching at her door while she was making the CD… mhmm…
November 19th, 2008 at 2:50 am
BUT… WHO WAS LAWYER?
November 20th, 2008 at 9:28 pm
Maybe the “creatures” were furries and they were trying to yiff. That would explain the bird and the lawyer left cause he hates them furries.