It’s your first night in your new apartment. Your stuff is still in boxes. Your furniture (with the exception of the mattress on the floor) hasn’t arrived yet. The utilities won’t be turned on until the next day, so you’re making due without. A flashlight and some candles will do for light until you go to sleep. Despite the creepy feeling of being in a dark, empty apartment all alone; you chalk it up to nervousness and try to get some sleep.
A sound wakes you up. You lay there for a moment, waiting to decide if it was real or just your imagination being too loud. When the sound happens again, you check your cell for the time. Two in the morning. You get up, using your cellphone for light, and make your way towards the kitchen; the apparent source of the noises. At first, you think somebody has broken into your apartment, but you choke down your reaction as you stare at the figure. It is a middle-aged man, wearing what amounted to striped pajamas and standing in front of the microwave with his back to you. Although seemingly solid, you can also see through his body. You’re paralyzed; mostly out of fear, but partly out of curiosity.
“Hey,” you finally manage to say. The man looks in your direction, turning slowly. Your eyes open wide as you realize the man has no lower jaw, letting his tongue hang free. Your vision loses focus and the apparition disappears.
A sound wakes you up. It’s your phone vibrating against the floor. It’s morning, or at least light is coming in through the window. You’re back on your mattress and the missed call is from your mother. You’re confused about the night before and still shaking from the experience of what you saw. Was it a dream or did you really see a ghost?
//
Credited to Vaughn, the winner of our 2010 Halloween Contest… tl;dr
Copyright Statement: Unless explicitly stated, all stories published on Creepypasta.com are the property of (and under copyright to) their respective authors, and may not be narrated or performed under any circumstance.
The story was strong, but you fell apart in the end. Fix that and it might become kreepy. (Although I do understand what you were going for as far as a fear factor is koncerned. It just frankly didn’t work.)
Have an ice day.
NOT STRIPED PAJAMAS!!!!
Eh.
i shall be sleeping perfectly tonight thanks to this pasta
I feel like this is The Onion video about a second person video game.
“It’s your first night in your new apartment. Your stuff is still in boxes. You just took a shit…”
Wasn’t good or scary
can anyone tell me where an actually SCARY pasta is? i’ve read loads, none scared me though.
Wait… so a story about some dead dude trying to make a hotpocket won a contest?
But what if I moved into a house?
But where did the microwave come from if there was no furniture, and no utilities, and no electricity?
And most importantly…………..who was ghost?
You saw me. Not before I saw you.
Wow.
Ok, I’m giving some good advice and criticism so you can write just a tad better.
First, there isn’t enough detail as to the blood and gore and all that jazz.
Second, it doesn’t describe what kind of night it is. It just says its dark, and I would like some kind of detail if you don’t mind.
Third, a little bit more capitalization would be nice like when you say, “‘Hey,’ you finally manage to say.” It should be, “‘Hey,’ You finally manage to say.” It makes you look more professional and serious.
I hope this helps and if it makes you mad or angry then I’m sorry for it was not intended to make you mad.
Because improper capitalization advice always makes you look more professional.
Obviously the guy was a dream and the microwave was a ghost.
We need a trollpasta with a microwave serial killer.
this story is freaky as hell it even says what is happening to the person that looked at him! :)
Eh…meh.
…. *gag*
Sorry, this pasta made me a little sick.
BUT WHO WAS GHOST?!
rotten pasta where did the microwave come from? you woke up that mean you were DREAMING.terrible!
Bit to dull and generic. Far to short too. Not a very good Pasta, I must say.
that was so un-scary, i could probably see the “ghost” guy and hug him and be his best friend. thats how un-scary it was.
Stpid pasta. If you want a good one , jeff the killer, slender man, or smile dog
This is why you don’t smoke, kids.
Bad pasta is bad.
I can’t beilive this was called creepy over my story.
Fail.
Horrid 0/10 absolutely stupid
IT’S AGRIPPA
But who was the tongue????
For all you messed up fucking retards who don’t understand shit, it was a bloody dream for crying out loud, what the fuck are you criticising him for? Just because he said microwave? I bet all of you can’t write better than him so bloody back off you pieces of shit!
For all you messed up fucking retards who don’t understand shit, it was a bloody dream for crying out loud, what the fuck are you criticising him for? Just because he said microwave? I bet all of you can’t write better than him so bloody back off you pieces of shit!
For all you idiots who ask where the microwave came from, it was a bloody dream for crying out loud, where the fuck are your brains? Are you that stupid?
Yeah it was pretty shit pasta, but honestly if you didnt enter stop complianing and next time enter a geeewwwd one so we all dont have to read shit :) Love from BiteMe <3
… Wow, you guys really flamed this mo’trucker, huh?? lol… It was pretty bad, though. Sorry bro.
Hmm… I guess it’s ok. I thought the ending would be totally awesome, but if it was a dream… What was the mom calling about?
it isn\’t that bad, 7/10 perfect fit. And david-sama go shit in your hand!!
It was so lame that I have to say:
THEN WHO WAS MICROWAVE?
For a change, I thought I was going to read something similar to Silent Hill 4. The guy will know if his apartment is haunted when he uses the microwave, that’s for sure.
Isn’t your tounge connected to your lower jaw?
If your lower jaw wasn\’t there, your tounge wouldn\’t be either .-.
Isn\’t your tounge connected to your lower jaw?
If your lower jaw wasn\’t there, your tounge wouldn\’t be either .-.
“TEEL DEER”
nope.avi
Hmph. Not frightening. Nasty pasta. Tastes like sweaty gym socks after they’ve been soaked in piss. Bleh, yucky.
Did he get buttraped in his sleep?
There’s a scene exactly like this in Beyond Reanimator, except the jawless guy attempts to drink milk and it just runs down his tongue.
i read it, and i thought it was stupid.
then i thought about it.
and thought “i’ve had dreams like that.”
then i shivered.
also to a few people who questioned the microwave part, some apartments and houses come with microwaves, or have microwaves built in above the stove. mine does.
AND THEN A SKELETON POPPED OUT AND IT HE (OR SHE IF YOU’RE A GIRL) WAS YOU AND YOU DON’T REMEMBER BUT WHO WAS PHONE!?!?!?
Sorry but that was utterly pointless.
Wow, sucks that you had no choice but to choose this one. I’d submit my pasta, but it is Pokemon themed and would get trolled to hell if it was put up
Meh, I’ll do it anyways. I’ve grown a thick skin due to the internet, and it seems like these idiots are killing your site. Themed pasta that may only be average is better than no pasta, after all
ohh.. its an boring story…. sorry but not good
Sorry, but I thought your tongue was supposed to be attached to your lower jaw? And seriously, a person’s imagination cannot be too loud. Want to know why? BECAUSE IT IS ALREADY SILENT.
Bad pasta is bad.
YES, this was the winner. You know why? Because as stated at least 5 times before, there were only 3 entries submitted. Why cant you fucking understand?
After I read the last sentence I was actually looking for a “read more…” link or something. seriously? that was IT?
fucking lame ending.
Contest winner? Are you joking? This is one of the worst I’ve ever read.
What is this I don\’t even.
0/10
bad pasta was just bad.
So stupid. And all these small sentences made it look like a telegraph.
My 8 year old cousin with aspergers could tell a scarier story. And I’m not exaggerating. This was terrible.
This was worse than the Holocaust
I was waiting for something about the holocaust because of the mention of striped pj’s. but this was stupid
Honestly, I think “and you wake up with a dick in your mouth” would have been a scarier ending….
In all fairness, I don’t think this is that bad of a story, but seriously, there wasn’t anything better to choose from?!
Stupid typos. i meant it could have been a lot better
Well i think i could have been a lot better, 3/10
@Rodina
Old urban legend is fucking old.
If you\’re going for an entry, at least have an ounce of originality.
i am dissapoint
If a good creepypasta is a well paced and written story, then this one is nothing more than a man in a rubber mask jumping out of a closet shouting “boo”
Too abrupt, poor pacing, no atmosphere, you gain some points for having a bit of creativity.
1/10
Sarah- I suggest you man up and stop whingeing.
“All the effort” you put in? Come on! Copying and pasting stories from an e-mail someone has sent you?
You clearly don’t correct spelling, or grammar, so that’s what it basically amounts to.
Don’t knock the people who frequent your site. That’s just ungrateful.
If people aren’t sending you as many stories as you’d like (Though it would appear historically that you’ve turned down PLENTY of decent pastas, so you’ve only got yourself to blame for that) why don’t YOU write one? Have a look through t’Interwebz and see what you can drag up? Why not use pastas from the forums on here! I’ve found a few gems on your forums and I’ve been amazed they didn’t make it onto the main site. I don’t believe it can be as hard as you say to find a story better than this complete tripe, competition or not.
Also, your language is disgusting.
Much like this pasta.
I’m scared!
Umm, It was boring, but short enough that I didn’t care.
2/10
Far better than WHO WAS PHONE, and the like, but far worse than everything else.
It’s easy to suggest how one could rearrange or tweak certain words or sentences to make the story more effective, but it takes extra effort to build a story from the ground up. If this was the best a Halloween contest could offer, then it’s time to liven things up (“liven” as in goosebump factor). As previously stated, this inspires one to come up with something better. Something that won’t need to be defended for its posting.
No it didn’t. Sarah approved. You suck. Deal with it.
That’s fucking lame.
Anon, we all know you’re lying. You couldn’t sell a book for your life.
And Sarah, if you start to get desperate, just go to Encyclopedia Dramatica’s creepypasta page. They have some good ones.
Ya’ll sound mad. And Rodina your dead baby negro story sucked. Deal with it.
As long as something is new to read, JE SUIS CONTENT.
The microwave makes sense. Most apartments i’ve seen come with appliances such as fridges ovens and microwaves. It’s actually rare to find one without a microwave included. As for the rest of the story, i cant defend that. That’s just shitty writing there.
I’m not sure what you mean about the well running dry. I’ve sent several really creepy stories over. As a professional writer, I’d think my art is at least good enough that one of them had been used, but no such luck. People will pay for my books, but this site publishes crap like this?
I’m sure a lot of people have be disuaded by the amount of stories that have been turned down.
THIS FUCKING SUCKS.
This was worse than cancer
Well I liked it.
But who was microwave?
But seriously, this sucked ass.
… how did this win a Halloween contest on a scary story site?
tl;dr
But, seriously, Tower’s reasoning for this being the winning pasta was this:
“It is written in the vain of classic creepypasta. In that it is written for kids with ADHD. Sometimes less is more folks.”
Also,
“Out of all the pastas submitted this was the least bad.”
So it wasn’t up against much. I can say that because I entered a story too.
I have taken dumps scarier than this pasta. In fact, I am taking one RIGHT NOW.
Sarah, I’m a longtime lurker and that heartfelt post has inspired me to write my first creepypasta.
It’ll be a good creepypasta too, far better than this stale dish.
After reading that the ghost was standing in front of the microwave, am I the only one who half-expected that he was making popcorn?
People losing body parts? Haven’t seen that before.
Didn’t care for the story, but I wanted to take this opportunity to thank Sarah for her hard work on this website.
I don’t have the nexus of time/talent/interest to contribute but I love reading this site, and I appreciate the hard work that she puts into it.
While I might think a lot of the stories lately haven’t been the greatest, I don’t blame you for that, Sarah, I know you’re just doing your best with what’s submitted.
Rodina, I hereby crown you Halloween king and give you 3 mellowcreme pumpkins. Enjoy~
well, fuck.
I submitted… SALEM
nobody noticed, eh?
eh???
far fucking scarier than this shit.
My entry was far superior. I deserved to win:
Me and a few buddies were smoking pot and watching the football game. That’s how we spent our Saturday afternoons, for the most part. Then Barry suggested we all try acid for the first time. He had got some acid-stamps from his cousin, and we agreed. The four of us drove around town for several hours, high as fuck and hallucinating. We pulled up to a shady house in the hood, with a funny-looking gnome on the front lawn. We decided to steal it, cause that acid was some trippy shit, and we thought we heard it talking. We decided to throw it in the trunk of the car. When we home, the gnome was still babbling incoherently. We left it in the trunk, and crashed for the night.
When we woke up, we found the body of a 4 year old negro in our trunk.
inb4 BUT WHO WAS OLD MAN WITH NO JAW?
But yes, it was obviously a dream. After all, the only thing that was out was the mattress. There was no microwave. Unless the ghost took it out…
Oh God oh God oh God oh God.
Good effort, but you didn’t need to explicitly ask “was it all a dream?” at the end, and maybe the apparition could have done something creepy.
bad and boring. sucked.
boring and bad.
This was creepy.
….
if I had just moved out.
and was living in an empty apartment.
and met all the specifics of the person in this story.
who is apparently me.
…am I really in my room? Or is this all a dream?
Too long; didn’t read.
it was his mom
lol xD
1 / infinity stars
That was just awful.
Could have been better. I KNEW there was going to be a Creepypasta for Halloween day! This really needed to have more out of the ordinary. A guy sees a ghost and wakes up. Nothing really unique about that. 4/10.
The ghost was using the microwave?
Bah, sorry but bad pasta mate.
Not only was there only three bites of pasta, but there was no sauce and it was all moldy…
good thing it was short though. Eating a whole meal of this crap would have made me sick…
wow…really? did no one else enter the ‘halloween special’? as already pointed out the ghost is generic and the microwave stupidly came from no where. plus i just really hate stories that try and tell me its me going through all this. if i have to wait another full week to get a new pasta im going to be pissed.
… Did I miss something?
This guy was the winner? I’d hate to read the losing pastas.
Oh come on.
I started playing the Nightmare on Elm Street theme for this?
It’s just one of those typical “Dohohoho look a ghost BUT IT WAS A DREAAAAMMMMM OR WAS IT?!?!?” pastas, move along people, no paranoia or scary aura here
That was the BEST review ive ever seen
Stop. For fuck’s sake, this is awful.
BUT WHO WAS GHOST?
Obviously not you.
Kind of a letdown for Halloween, I expected to be scared…
This was really just a generic ghost and a bad ending…
This pasta sucked.
*vomits*
No, but seriously. Why’d you pick this pasta for the Halloween contest? Unless all the other entries were horrible troll pasta, you have no excuse for this kind of crap. Especially on Halloween. Shame on you.
wat
What’s the point of this story? A guy sleeps in his new apartment for the first time and dreams about a generic ghost standing in his kitchen. Through the first two paragraphs I felt like I’d read this story half a dozen times already but the ending was just utterly lame.
At least it was short and didn’t drag too long, though at the same time it felt too short for that kind of writing style. Sure the writer kept referring to the reader as “You” but it was far from being slightly immersive.
wasn’t long enough, I didn’t have time to really get into it.
There wasn’t anything to get into.
lmfao
I thought you had nothing but a mattress. Where’d the microwave come from?
Total waste of time. Pasta was moldy.
“moldy”
I lost it.
hm…i don’t feel anything, sorry, bad pasta. not the least bit creepy. I’ve had such dreams. those WERE creepy but reading about it….bah, boring
Probably shouldn\’t watch the Grudge before bed.
This went nowhere, and was more or less boring. Pass.
Who would you expect it to be other than the scary landlord, coming to collect his monthly fee?
Yeah. Um. No.
Lame. They don’t stir up much of a question at the end, anyway.
Waiter,….Waiter! What did you put in this pasta? The type of sauce you used made me throw up!