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Hank



Estimated reading time — 4 minutes

Think of a drop of dark red ink falling towards a sterile marble floor. It splashes into a crown and branches into threads of alternating lengths, ejecting droplets into the air. The droplets too skim across the floor, and eventually, the drop is gone. The crown settles in the image of a shining sun, but red, like a plague of rash. The splatter brightens the red at the extremities while maintaining a thicker, darker core in the center. Imagine a face protruding from the core. Then imagine the shoulders emerging. Arms. Now chest. Stop. There it is. We call him Hank.

He is an atypical contiguous single spore issue germinated by the colony seen surrounding him. Picture half a man implanted to the corner of a room, the blood vessels arcing out from beneath him like bronchi, creeping and thinning as one zooms out. These are called forelegs, and although blood relatives, they compete with each other to wheedle nutrients from the parent pod as self-preserving individuals, coaxing, cajoling, seducing, and sometimes even drugging or coercing what in botanical terms would be the central xylem for their due. It is undying, it is highly resilient, and it is expensive. Growing the fungal colony has helped solve 2 maritime crises, saved the African continent from an unending drought, and salvaged 80% of the world’s timber waste.

The way it is grown is a complex duology. In the first part, a human being volunteers to submit bone marrow and other tissue samples to undergo advanced bioengineering. In the second, the engineered genetic isolate is cultured with plant matter. The setup for this is accomplished during the former stage, where the human samples are retrofitted with numerous enzymes coded to diffuse into the plant substrate in the latter stage, making what’s known among the scientific community as the ‘green goo’. The petri dishes are let sit for 34 hours under intense monitoring for signs of germination. Once the initial polyp sprouts, the node is tested for blood vessel merger, maturation and efficiency. After that, it is replanted in damp carbohydrate-injected soil and left in the dark. Once this point is reached, the spore begins reproducing asexually with its own genetic information. The fusion of proteins involved in this process is analyzed monthly by 6000 agriculture scientists and critics worldwide for unethical practices. Debates are held biweekly to lay down ground rules and, to an extent, insurrect the first system to legally recognize undesired scenarios. This way, the public could rest assured the life-binding is continually filtered of any moral dilemmas.

In one such debate, the vanishingly low probability event of a dominant human allele was suggested. Although the splice is strained 1,000,232 times over to ensure passiveness, the human allele may sometimes emerge triumphant. Under the ‘human’ influence, when two compatible heterokaryotic forelegs of the newly germinating pod compete, they may ‘consider’ collective success a more viable option instead, thereby disengaging from the deathmatch and joining to form a larger dikaryotic foreleg. Once an unsympathetic organism concerned solely with a net survival status, its canny is dulled by an attitude of interdependence. Our social instinct causes this tweak in the symbiosis, and the resulting growth metastasizes, transcending a rather human psychology to a part of the whole colony. This part, if left unchecked, may form a fruiting body. That is Hank. Hank is sentient.

The odds of these conditions aligning dwindle infinitesimally, shaking off a billion or so at each step. The extreme unlikelihood of the scenario caused it to be deemed theoretical, and was dismissed with a “To be revised” prescription.

It has taken Hank 2 years to grow into this office room. An initially captivated staff had to be cleared out by management after receiving a critical number of immutable reports of being deeply unsettled by the sight of “a melting man”. He started out in the unlit agroforestry vault just by the breezeway. Thirst is said to have been the motivator for the ‘migration’, the mechanics of a ‘breadcrumb-trail’ scenario charged the culprit. The water cooler on this floor sits a short walk away from the office area, just before the greenhouse. Employees are known to stagger along this route to and fro in pursuit and consumption of water, and the janitorial department revealed that the area was therefore subject to the most cleaning. In the same pursuit, Hank became the permanent and only occupant of office #238.

The blood vessels—Hank’s pod—are the crop yield of this splice. They boast remedial properties when processed into a serum and injected into the bloodstream due to their ability to distill a targeted molecule. By the same virtue, they can be utilized to retrieve the most nectar out of a flower, for modest example. Some unorthodox methods such as using the product as seasoning in food have been reported to give enhanced results but remain scientifically unverified.

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These are pros. They are the benefits the project was intended to produce. They are clear and loud. But the cons are even clearer, and by today’s evening, probably just as loud. And they can be summed up with minimal simplification by the eponymous question.

Hank does not talk but he has been observed mumbling. His eyes barely open and seem to be milky white, indicating subpar vision capabilities. The ears are deformed and functionless as Hank does not respond to auditory cues. His skull is doughy and inflates and deflates like a granule of maggots, seemingly in rhythmic discipline with his breathing, indicating the lungs share an inhospitable space with the brain. However, he has shown tremendous touch sensory competence, which is a note of both marvel and despondency for the world at large.

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A senate hearing has been called to address the issue at once. The streets are flooded with rhetoric and judgments. The internet is riddled with support groups, fan-pages and pseudo personality profiles based on what is known of Hank.

They are going to cut him out in 3 hours, and somehow, Hank seems to be clairvoyantly aware of his fate. He has grown restless and the commotion has only made his coping worse. Some are calling it a harvest. Others are saying ‘abortion’. The question is, will Hank be euthanized, disposed of, the paperwork burned, the ledgers closed, the history erased, the dilemma forgotten, the incident buried and piled on with minutia and quibbles, or will he become the first legal subhuman subject of scientific study to live in a glass box for years to come? What are we going to do with Hank?

Credit: Kash

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35 thoughts on “Hank”

  1. This is getting very interesting! I think that this new ”Scientific article pasta” genre is starting to get successful. About a month ago, when the pasta ”Lapse” by Sprite of the Wold was published, I had told the writer how I liked his/her ”new genre” and how I thought that this will soon start to become more popular. You had a very original idea here. I liked how you invented this kind of sentient fungus that helps the world to reduce droughts and famine. This pasta got me from the beginning. I really enjoyed reading the first paragraph about the detailed event of a drop of red ink hitting the floor. You couldn’t have mentioned one more detail than you did. In this paragraph, you show how observant you are. You also have a great scientific knowledge. Like I said previously, this gives it the format of a scientific article and this makes it more realistic. Although I have to tell you that you exaggerated a bit. Even I that study sciences at school had to pause at a few moments to concentrate on what I was reading, let alone others who don’t understand scientific words. You have a huge vocabulary. Try to not exaggerate in this too because, along with the bombastic scientific words this didn’t help. However, I liked how you described things. As of creepiness, this was not creepy at all. Nonetheless, this was a very good thing to read. The ending leaves quite a big dilemma. It is a very risky decision, considering that the whole world population is depending on it to eliminate all the droughts and famine of the world. That leaves quite an impact on the reader. Hope there will be a sequel to tell us how the story continues. Great work! You have an amazing talent and I think that this genre suits you very well. I give this a 7/10. Keep up the great work and I hope to read more of your great work soon in the future!

  2. This reminds me of Harold from Fallout 3, the man who was infected by a Forced Evolutionary Virus and became a tree.

  3. I felt like I might be too uneducated on this matter to fully understand and appreciate this story. I understood the gist of it (I think) to be a monumental discovery of splicing our human genetics with plants, which in turn created a being that……is…….super effective at producing stuff? That was kind of where I got lost.
    The story says this new being can basically cure the world, but I am confused as to exactly HOW this conclusion came about. That’s the part that I feel I am not versed enough on what you talked about to really “get” it.
    Also, at the end, you state that the pros are obvious but the cons are just as pronounced. I may have missed it, but I didn’t really see any cons to having Hank around other than creeping people out. Which, I might add, sounds ridiculous if these office people are part of the team to help create him. The people who watched him grow and helped make him wouldn’t have such a reaction, in my opinion.
    If I understood what the message was supposed to be in the story, I think I would have enjoyed it more.

    1. Yeah, you missed a vital part that would probably change your opinion. They used human DNA to make a plant that grew super fast and was amazingly beneficial. These genes influenced the plants in ways the scientists didn’t anticipate. Hank was an accident, a half man half plant.

      1. No, I understood those parts. The biggest piece of confusion to me was HOW Hank was helping the world. The story listed a few things in the second paragraph of what Hank was helping, but didn’t explain how. Or, if it was explained, I didn’t catch it. I just didn’t/don’t understand what exactly Hank’s and other spliced organism’s beneficial properties are. I get that it IS helping and that Hank was an accident, but since I didn’t understand the HOW, it just left me feeling confused and uneducated, rather than creeped out or entertained.

        1. You shouldn’t feel uneducated, I was left speculating too. I think it’s down to the fact that the author didn’t really go into detail. And if he did, I wouldn’t blame the reader for missing that info; the language was far from accessible.

    2. Hank is an unintended part of the fungal colony which accidently grew on the petridish (or any container in which experiment was being carried out) containing the hybrid of plant and human DNA. It somehow managed to become a fruiting body.
      Few examples are given how fungi have helped the world in para 2. Hence, it was concluded that hank could be used to do great things because it is surely better than all other type of fungi.
      I guess you are thinking right about cons. Staff were getting creeped out by looking at the appearance of Hank; it was jelly like man.

      1. Yeah, I understood all that. What I didn’t understand was the HOW, not the after effects or the fact that Hank was an accident. I couldn’t discern through the story what exactly these spliced new fungi were producing to be so helpful, so it made the story confusing to me rather than creepy.
        And I understood the staff’s revulsion, I just don’t agree with it in regards to the story. If they helped him grow, monitored and watched him for however long it took for him to get to the size he is now, I just don’t see those same people getting all freaked out over him. If they’d been there the whole time, I would think that they’d be pretty much the only people to NOT be disconcerted by Hank.

        1. Well, in second para it is told about the past, like, the scientists are thinking that fungi have been helpfull (they are not thinking about Hank). But this time Hank is surely a kind of fungi but kinda different, human and plant like, so it might help more than other type of fungi. If you are concerned about how these fungi helps (or helped), then it’s the matter of science, we extract antibiotics, anticancer medicines, some are edible etc.
          Talking about the staff’s revulsion, they were not prepared for any kind of fungi to grow like a strange creature. They have gone through all the stages because of the demand of the project. They might have been doubting about the nature of this creature, afterall it was sentient, which was beyond the truth in itself.
          Few of them might have considered Hank to be any kind of zombie!

    3. What I gathered from the story was that it was a debate on ethics, essentially “for the greater good of society” versus individual rights of a sentient being, in the same vein human experimentation has been a debate among scientific communities since humanity first conceived the idea to do so.
      In this regard, I find the find the story was very effective, even if unintentional, and find it fascinating, as the debate can even be drawn from the perspectives conveyed by readers.
      Some people will ask “Exactly how are we, the population, benefiting?”, or “What can we gain?” from the experiment, whereas others would be completely appalled at the mere concept of experimenting on a living, sentient being for scientific gain, or even the propriety of humanity as a whole.
      This is, by no means, to say that your perspective was “pro-experimenting”, please don’t take it as such… it just got me appreciating the effectiveness of the story.

  4. Appreciate the criticism.
    I agree, it’s not typical of creepypasta to be so dry. Hopefully my next one gets accepted soon and proves a little less dry :)
    Hank didn’t do all those things. He was a fruiting body that accidentally budded on a colony that was made by binding plant and human DNA.

  5. haha I’m not a bioengineer, im mechanical. But I’ve been writing for some years now as a pastime and the research effort provides a lot of ‘extra’ information that winds up being its own piece.
    You understand most of it. However, Hank is an unintended part of the fungal colony. 4th paragraph.

  6. Hey guys, author here.
    I was going through all the comments and noticed a resounding complaint about the writing style. I wrote this piece long before I had discovered creepypasta, so I didn’t have an audience in mind. That was definitely my mistake. I didn’t exactly gear it towards a ‘creepy’ tone, hence the more science-journalistic feel. I kinda went in knowing I would get some flak as I agree it’s not creepypasta material. Most importantly, it’s my first anonymous publication and I really wanted some sincere feedback, which I thank all of you greatly for providing. Seriously, it’s great to know where I stand. Thanks, guys. Hopefully I find you again on another pasta.

  7. Smelly Johnson

    I need to watch more Readin’ Rainbow™ so I can understand all these fancy words in this story.

    Readin’ Rainbow™!

  8. I don’t like the entire “think of this, imagine that” opening, and I thought the whole “Stop. There it is” thing was just cheesy.

    For the most part, this is just a big intimidating wall of words. It’s really hard to get into.
    The language is far from accessible. Idk, I just think this whole thing screams “look how many big words I know!” Drop the thesaurus, kid!

    Always “two” not “2”
    Always “eighty percent” not “80%”
    Always “Thirty-four hours” not “34 hours”
    Yeah you do this like a million times, you get the point (Y)

    I like the idea of Hank and I like the story itself, but I can’t stand your style of writing. There is much clearer ways to tell the story, yet you used the most obscure words. I definitely get the impression you are just trying to show off. I’m sorry, this isn’t skillfull.

    5/10 – The content was freaky and creative, the style was where it went down the drain imo.

    1. the numbers vs letters thing – if the number is below ten then you write the words, if it’s above ten, then it’s fine to go with numbers…..

      1. I strongly disagree. The way I learned it, it’s almost a case by case scenario. If it’s a very specific number, such as 12,984, then it would make sense to right it as digits. But if it’s something simple like 6000, then I would be inclined to write “six thousand”. In all work I’ve read, they would always write the numbers like eighty-nine, forty-three, two hundred etc.
        You say above ten, and maybe you’re right, but I still feel more comfortable writing “fifty” instead of 50 and “eleven” instead of 11, etc.

        1. ….If it’s a case by case scenario then there is no dead rule, is there? So telling someone that they should ‘always’ do this or that isn’t fair. Also, ‘all’ the work you’ve read?! Wow, memory skills right there. You seem to like absolutes. I think as long as it’s consistent throughout the writing it doesn’t really matter which way you do it. I’m being picky, i know, but so are you :p

        2. When I say “always two, not 2” that’s because, well, it should always be two. Sure it’s a case by case scenario, and in the case of two, it’s written as a word. I say case by case because I don’t think you can just apply the general rule that everything above ten can be written as a number. I would disagree, as some numbers over ten should still be written as a word, such as twenty, whereas others should not, like 9,865.76. Ergo, case by case.

          And I’m not saying I can remember everything I’ve ever read, but in any professional work I’ve read that I can think of, the words are chosen over the number for the likes of ten, twenty, six thousand, eighty, etc.
          Numbers would be used for things like years such as 1929, or very specific numbers like 1,234,567.
          I remember a lot of the work because if saw 10, 30, 72 etc used normally in a sentence, it would stick out like a sore thumb. I’m just trying to help here

        3. Yes, I see what you’re saying, I suppose I’m just being argumentative, really – it’s hard though when people make a capitalised criticism over something that essentially doesn’t have a single rule…. then state that it does, then that it doesn’t, then that it does…. Never mind. If it looks wrong to you, fair dooz. Over and out.

        4. It looks wrong to me? It looks wrong to many. Especially the 2 instead of two. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that

  9. This one is a little too cerebral for its own good. I appreciate the attention to detail, and obviously the author put a lot of thought and effort into this, but in the end it detracts from any sense of creepiness.

    1. oh hey Thomas! Dude I worship you ever since I read your Seer of Possibilities. Teach me, sensei…
      oh btw, yea I expected it would be poorly received due to lack of creep factor. I have seen others that aren’t creepy and so thought I could coast on just the idea behind it.

      1. Thank you! You have some good ideas, and it seems like you’ve come away from this experience with a better idea of how to present them. I hope to see more from you in the future.

  10. I liked this little pasta dish. Not sure if it was the later hour of my evening but the seasoning comment made me giggle a little wickedly ? Soylent Green anyone…. Nomnomnomnom

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