Ground Control to Major Tom
“Did you take your protein pills? Good, now put your helmet on.” Ground Control commanded and Major Tom obeyed. Ground Control droned on as Tom sat in his seat in his cramped capsule and waited. “Commencing countdown, engines are active.” Tom counted down with the man on the microphone as he felt the rush of anxiety flow through his veins. “10… 9… 8…” Tom checked the ignition and heard one final phrase from Ground Control. “May God’s love be with you. LIFTOFF.”
Thats all Tom remembered. He woke up to a deep black outside of his spaceship windows and an eruption of cheers from his headset. “Good work Tom, you’ve really made the grade. Just exit your capsule and pilot the ship.” Tom obeyed and exited his capsule, and floated in a most peculiar way to the pilot’s seat.
Floating through space a hundred thousand miles from Earth was the spaceship of Major Tom. It had been three months since the launch and the only company Tom had was the reiteration of pre-launch instructions in his head, over and over. He looked out his window to observe the moon and stare out to the lonesome lifeless abyss that was deep space. The stars looked very different, Tom thought. More vivid. Bigger, even.
Tom’s view was distracted by a sudden movement. Something had swiftly darted behind the moon. Something quite massive had hidden itself behind the moon. Perhaps an asteroid, Tom thought. But they don’t move that quick. Out from behind the moon jetted what looked like a piece of space itself. It was something very large, black as the night sky and dotted in large glowing lights. And it was coming right for Tom’s ship. Thinking quickly he reversed the thrusters on his ship. The massive space thing had narrowly missed the ship, but had enough momentum to spin the ship rapidly.
Tom was thrown into the ships walls. The familiar voice of Ground Control buzzed in Tom’s ear. “Tom, the ship has received damage all over the hull, what happened?” Tom could only reply “Tell my wife I love her very much.” A different voice from Ground Control echoed “She knows.”
The space thing was coming back for a head-on collision with Tom’s ship. All Tom could do was get into his spacesuit and wait. As the space thing got closer and closer, Tom could see how large it really was. It was snake like and had to be at least a mile long and hundreds of feet wide. As it came within miles of Tom’s ship, it slowed. Eventually it had stopped and just sat there. Staring, it seems. Then, it began to coil itself around Tom’s ship. Metal groaned from the pressure and glass cracked. Tom looked outside his window at the beast. It was just like space itself was tangling itself up around him.
Machinery began to beep and lights started to die. Tom frantically checked everything he could; the energy was slowly being sucked away. It didn’t take long, perhaps a few minutes, for the ship to be rendered completely powerless. Then, nothing. No more metal groaning and no more glass cracking. Tom was stuck floating around in a powerless ship and he could do nothing about it.
Ground Control had buzzed in his ear one last time. “Major Tom, your circuit is dead. Something is wrong.” Tom didn’t reply. “Can you hear me Major Tom?”
Tom still didn’t reply. “Tom, can you hear me? Major Tom!”
Tom turned off his only contact to human life. He turned off his life support systems and stared out his window. He saw a floating bit of space going towards a blue planet. With his last breath Tom sang quietly, “Here I am floating in a tin can, far above the moon. Planet Earth is blue and there’s nothing I can do.”
–
Credited to Steve M.
This blows
Meh, didn’t care for it.
I could not read this without the song it’s based off of playing through my head. It’s one of my favorite David Bowie songs :). the story was kind of weird but it provides a good perspective on a classic song. I’m not sure how someone who wasn’t a fan of Bowie would think of it though :/
FIRST
i don’t think i like this one.. it’s kind of campy, a little awkwardly worded and awkward to visualize.
You’d think the author would know that every once in a while, it’s possible to use “he” instead of “Tom.”
Christ.
All I got out of this was TOM TOM TOM LOLOL DEBRIS WORLD END SPAAAACE LOL
Mr. Nobody, I just thought I’d let you know… this is hard to say, but uh, you’re actually fourth. Three spaces after 1st. Just so we know our numbers… Please feel free to leave your dignity at the door. I’ll wait…
Not too well written. If you’re going to set a story in space, at least be a little more familiar with astrophysics, space travel, etc.
THEN WHO WAS ROCKETSHIP?
Interesting little tale, it makes me think of World of Darkness.
And enough with the first/second/third bullshit =/
Did not care for this. I’m actually fairly certain that this was just a random project someone did, not really even a creepypasta attempt.
for all the people who wanna give this a negative review, you need to hear the David Bowie song, and realize how awesome it is. This pasta expands on the lyrics of a legendary song, and does so well.
This is terrible.
Poorly written, mediocre concept, and no suspense or build up or anything.
D:
Earth below us, drifting, falling, floating weightless, coming hoooome…
Yes, I like the Peter Schilling song better than Space Oddity.
THEN WHO WAS SPACE THING!?
i had to re-read the last bit to get the story; and meh.. Its good but im not scared for the earth now or anything
BUT THEN WHO WAS DAMN SPACE THING?
Oh no, some space monster stole the energy out of your spaceship and may or may not be headed to do the same to Earth? I’m terrified.
This was utterly boring from start to finish.
I also don’t understand how all of the power can he siphoned off, but for some reason life support and communications are still up.
Bah
Complete shit. Not creepy, not even worth telling.
BUT WHO WAS SPACE THING?
I liked it. Interesting spin on the song. I’m sure being a fan of David Bowie helped.
Wow. That was terribad.
There was… potential in that story. Somewhere >.>
Now do one for Rocket man by elton john
i enjoyed this pasta, and to anyone who doesn’t get it, listen to space oddity, it’ll all make sence
I really do hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this…..story…….for I doubt it can be called pasta, let alone creepy, simply does not belong on this site. Yes, I am familiar with the song it references, but for god sake this is creepypasta.com, not visualize_a_song.com
Overall a poor attempt. Overusage of Tom’s name which was Tom; did you know Tom’s name was Tom, cause I didn’t know Tom’s name was Tom. On top of that, song reference or not, you need to create a story of some sort, paint a picture, you know? The “picture” that this creates is equivalent to that of a kindergartener dipping his ass in the fingerpaint, then running gleefully around a room covered in paper. Lastly, it just….wasn’t creepy.
I’ll be incredibly nice and say 2/10
THIS is CREEPYpasta? Moar like CRAPPYpasta.
Sucked ass to be honest. The fact that it’s based on a David Bowie song is good- but it’s supposed to be CREEPY. Not LAME. This stuff is supposed to make you shit brix. Not go ‘aww’.
none of the haters who commented on this pasta understood what it meant.
in space
no one can hear you sing david bowie songs
dude, I thought it was pretty good. Great spin off of the song, and you stayed true to it. I think you should’ve expanded on the song a bit more, that might’ve made it creepier. Not bad none the less.
Gotta say, not particularly a fan of this one… :/
I bet none of you people giving bad reviews have even heard the song this is based on.
I didn’t think it was creepy, but it was fairly entertaining. Isn’t that all that matters?
Man it was a horrible read. It’s like it was written by a 4th grader.
Eh, I’d rather listen to the original song for the hundred millionth time than read this.
I think there’s some potential for creepiness in the original Major Tom cycle (specifically Space Oddity and Ashes to Ashes) The idea of a cosmonaut being lost on a routine expedition followed by mysterious transmissions from his spacecraft being picked up on Earth twenty years later could have made for a slightly unnerving scenario. Sadly this piece ditches all the themes of isolation and despondence of the original in favor of LOL SPACE MONSTAR!.
Why didn’t we just post the lyrics to the original song in the first place?
Horrible. Space Oddity is awesome, but it really doesn’t need this expansion by any means.
I love this pasta,for the fact that is based on one of my favorite Bowie songs ever.
But I want something CREEPY dammit
Credited to David Bowie, you mean
That was terrible.
Being based on a good song doesn’t save this story from being shitty. If you’re going to expand on something, then actually expand on it. There was no build-up to the danger, no suspense for when the danger appears, and no satisfying ending at all. Not that it matters, but I’m thoroughly disappointed.
Twas alright. I’ve read worse.
Lacks any sort of buildup or development. That’s all I’m gonna say about this stale pasta.
All of you who said it was bad, need a good kick in the face.
I’ve heard the song and this was still shit.
FIRST
…i guess i’m alone in this, but i really like this one. i love space creepypastas! i also love sadpastas.
SHUT UP KATIE
By the way… WHO WAS WIFE?
Eh. Songfic is songfic, whatever genre it’s trying to be.
It wasn’t creepy. Or sad.
And yes I recognise the song it was based off of, but it doesn’t belong here.
good song 8D
That was the greatest thing ever.
Here again, trying to understand how listening to the song it’s based on somehow makes this un-shitty.
(I don’t think it does)
P.S. — I’ve heard the song, so piss off with those “you don’t understand waaahhh” type comments.
Just because its based on a song doesn’t automatically means its shittiness is overlooked. Get over your fanboy-ism and realize this is fucking “creepypasta.com” not “jack off to refererences to old songs that I feel superior to others for knowing about.com”
i agree with katie when you read the song it makes cents btw after i read the song it was kinda creepy
Even though the song was much more like 2001 in 2 minutes, this was pretty ok.
Did no one realize that the creature he was describing was the picture at the top of the website? Under the “Beings” tab? anyone?
It wasn’t too bad. Not so much creepy as it was clever.
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
i didnt get it until i read the part at the end
but it still sucked
Shit. Utter fucking shit. There was nothing good about this. It doesn’t matter if it’s based on a song, if it sucks and isn’t creepy then it sucks and isn’t creepy.
I swear I would strangle all of you.
For those that said there was no build up to the danger, you’re damn retarded.
He sees something dart behind the moon (suspenseful build up)
Then that something charges his ship which he narrowly dodges.
Lastly, you’re all retarded.
BUT THEN WHO WAS GROUND CONTROL
NEXT!!!!!!!!!!
this pasta leaves a bad after taste need something good to wash it down… HEY ANY ONE GOT BLEACH!!!!
I think it’s gonna be a long long time~
I actually loved this pasta. But then, I was listening to SpaceOddity as I was reading it.
Meh.
I LOVE THE IDEA OF THIS BUT GOD COULD SOMEONE WHO CAN ACTUALLY RIGHT TRY TO DO A BETTER JOB?
the song itself used to give me chills at the “Tell my wife I love her very much” part.
but I think tis is a good concept, just needs someone who knows wtf they’re doing to write it.
…and now I want to hear the song.
Fuck David Bowie and fuck you.
Noseriouslythough. What was the point of making the pointless song reference? Did you recently come out of your cultural comatose and find that music existed years ago, and now have to infuse it with everything you do? Obsession is unhealthy, and it certainly is boring for the rest of us.
This story probably could have been good if I wasn’t so busy hating you for the pointless character copying. Besides that, giantspacethingdestroysearth has been done before, and has been done better. I didn’t like it, I didn’t like it at all.
3/10. It had words, and dey ben dun speld gud. So it at least gets some points, right?
Gay shit.
I understand that it builds off the lyrics of a song, but it still felt really half-assed. And what about all the people that don’t know the song? Or don’t know it’s based off a song? Try again please.
I don’t like how you have to know the song to enjoy the pasta, though. Not right.
Hilarious. I loved it.
This pasta bothers me. I don’t think whoever wrote it has any concept of scale (something a mile long and hundreds of feet long is not big enough to look MASSIVE darting behind the moon. It very well might not be big enough to be VISIBLE, and seriously, how fast is this thing going to pass by the moon in what is implied to be seconds? Or are we on a scale model of the solar system here?), and even my marginal knowledge of astronomy makes me cry for the future of people who think that this makes any sense.
Not his best, but he’s written some creepy shit. Check the Monolith forums if you don’t believe me.
I had to listen to “Major Tom” by shiny toy guns while i read this
it had a creepy resemblance
No.
All this was was a more heavily narrated version of the song, with a shitty monster thrown in. Stupid. Shit. Unnecessary. Anyone can take lyrics from a song and make them dialogue as they narrate the same damn story that the fucking song is telling in the first place. This is shit and it disgraces Bowie, go to hell.
this am suck
The Bowie version of this song is gay.
Peter Schilling does a much better version. Suck it.
Also, weak pasta was weak
This. Fucking. Sucks.
Grammar. This could do with some grammar.
(tomtomtomtomtom)
As a die-hard Bowie fan I loved this. But I could see why anyone who doesn’t feel the same about the song wouldn’t respond to it. Still though, I think its far from the abuse being whirled at you. I was disturbed, but then again I have sort of a life long fear of outer space, stars, planets, et cetera…
Did anyone else think of Chicken Little when they read this piece of shit?
Oh noes, the sky really is falling. The poor children.
lol, wut? all i could think of while reading this was that song and MGS3. ok read though.
i didnt like how it was written. It didnt get my attention but I read it anyway…but..that last sentence is epic…
You guys are life newfags. It’s obviously a fucking song you dipshits! And a good one at that.
Great idea, but the antagonist could have been better. See that’s how you comment you ignorant assholes.
Y’all trollin’ crackas be missin’ the hilarity.
THIS IS LIKE “THE DAY OF ALL THE BLOOD” OR THE “HERON” CREEPYPASTA, IT’S FOR LULZ.
That said, David Bowie=<3
What the bloody fuck. This -is- creepy. The writer stole minutes of out lives that we’ll never get back or appreciate spending.
BUT WHO WAS DAVID BOWIE?
Obvious joke is obvious, but I salute you for it.:D
Anyone notice how the monster is described a lot like the monster for the ‘Beings’ tab at the top of this page?
I saw a comment in here somewhere mentioning that.
its unicrons penis
David Bowie wrote this, to troll the shit out of us.
CURSE YOU BBBBOOOOOOWWWWWWWIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN.
Why so brutal? It sucked, sure, but HOLY FUCK, y’all tore it up.
“The massive space thing had narrowly missed the ship, but had enough momentum to spin the ship rapidly.”
Not only is this line amazingly well written, but it also brings a whole new meaning to the word “momentum”. And for God sake, there is no air in space, a near miss couldn’t cause the space ship to move at all…
Finish your high school core classes and try again.
The original idea of turning Space Oddity into a creepy pasta is kind of cool. Great Song. Unfortunately, everything else about this pasta sucked.
“The massive space thing had narrowly missed the ship, but had enough momentum to spin the ship rapidly.”
Not only is this line amazingly well written, but it also brings a whole new meaning to the word “momentum”. And for God sake, there is no air in space, a near miss couldn’t cause the space ship to move at all…
Finish your high school core classes and try again.
The original idea of turning Space Oddity into a creepy pasta is kind of cool. Great Song. Unfortunately, everything else about this pasta sucked.
You misquoted the song, dude. “Commencing countdown engines on”, not “Commencing countdown, engines are active.” And it wasn’t very well written.
you take it back sir, unwrite this and apologize to Mr. Bowie at once.
Earth belooooow us, drifting, falling
Floating weiiiiightless, calling, calling hooooome…
I agree with G.
I’m also glad someone else noticed that the ship shouldn’t have moved.
A hundred thousand miles away and he can see earth? Is this guy superman?
looks like you guys are pretty tsundere for this story.
looks like you guys are pretty tsundere for this story.
Meh, I did not really care for it.
Did you take your protein pills?
105TH!!!
I personally think it’d be WAY more effective to make a creepypasta based off of a Tool song… Like Eulogy. Somebody try that. Shit brix for real
Love the song, but really though it seems sort of forced.
hoorah for song references, and a confused guy trying to say he’s high
5/10
OH MY GOD
IT’S FULL OF STARS
lrn2pronouns
Listen the story wont make sense until you listen to the Space Oddity song.
Listen to the song then write your opinion.
@ SRSfags who take this website far too seriously
Ah lahl, lahl, lahl lahl lahl. The song was fucking great. I think you all need to take a Midol, quit yer RAGGIN’, and click next rather than waste your time talking about how you wasted your time reading this. It’s very counter-intuitive, so fuck off.
This was terrible; poorly written.
HOWEVER, to its merit….
“Major Tom, your circuit is dead. Something is wrong.”
That made me chuckle. “Hi Tom, something is wrong.”
O RLY
roflmao you guys actually think this is a serious? the author actually based the story after a song called space oddity i lol’d at this whole story.
tell me when ridingDavidBowie’scockpasta goes back to being creepypasta
BUT THEN WHO WAS GROUND CONTROL?
I find it really hard to be scared by a David Bowie song.
but then who-
huhuhu see what i did there
BUT WHO WAS LABRYNTH
Very poor writing. Felt choppy and immature. You aren’t 12, are you?