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Greenhorn



Estimated reading time — 21 minutes

Greenhorn: By CreepyQuantum

The hot coffee touched his lips as he made every effort to wake himself up on this abnormally cold Friday morning. “Long day ahead of you, huh?” Tom’s wife, Anna said, walking into the living room wrapped in a blanket.

“Yeah,” Tom responded, “there is a new case that was given to me last night, some freak killed his wife and two kids and then fled into the Malheur National Forest. I’m the leading investigator.” There was evident disgust in his voice. She put her hand on his shoulder.

“I love how you take these cases personally. It shows your caring nature.” A smile emerged on Tom’s face as he placed his hand on hers. After a minute, she turned back to the hallway and slipped into their bedroom. Tom looked at his watch; it read 5:49 A.M with a final gulp of his coffee, he was on his way out the door to the car. Tom had lucked out; getting a house five minutes away from his office, he could stay home later before heading out. The short drive was normal at first. In the morning, the quick drive through Baker City Oregon had few obstacles and nearly no traffic excluding the occasional car that drove by. Suddenly, about two minutes away from his office, Tom noticed an orange flashing light ahead. As he approached, he noticed that there had been a car crash, a car was flipped off the road, and there were two people there directing the few cars that passed by. Thankfully, since there was such little traffic, it caused no delay in his commute, and Tom arrived at work on time.

Sliding his ID card across the scanner, Tom stepped into the large, brick building that he had known for the last eight years. Typically, Tom was the first one to the building, so it was a surprise when he saw his boss and co-worker standing in the office room. “Tom! It’s about time!” His boss, James exclaimed. Tom took a double take on his watch and reassured himself that he wasn’t late. “I called you three times and left a message each time!” Checking his pockets, Tom realized that he didn’t have his phone with him. “Dave is gone…” James said with tears in his eyes. A feeling of shock went over Tom’s body as he heard those words. The second in command and the head investigator had always been a kind man; he was very loving to his family, friends, and anyone he met, it didn’t seem right that someone like him could be taken from life so early.

“Wow, I-” Tom tried to utter up words, but he was left speechless.

“I need you to go to Malheur,” James spoke abruptly. Tom froze. He had never left the office for any case or investigation. He was always leading the team in information, but he never had any field work. “Dale here will take your spot in this case.” Tom was speechless. “We need you to do this.” there was a sense of weakness in James’s voice that Tom had never heard before, leading him to accept the request. “You will still get Jeanne and Cory to accompany you as well as the BCPD. I wouldn’t send you out there alone against a possibly armed suspect.”

“How did he-”

“Car accident” James cut Tom off. Now get ready, you are heading out once Jeanne and Cory get here. In a trance, Tom walked to his office and slowly opened the door and immediately sat in his seat. Nearly asleep, he was startled by a knock on his office door.

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“Come in,” he announced to the unknown guest. Jeanne and Cory stepped into the door

“Are you ready for your first action case?” Jeanne said with a bright, white smile. Tom forced a smile on his face.

“Yeah!” He replied, sitting up. The three left the building and entered the large, black SUV and drove off.

The two-hour drive was quickly over, with a shake of his shoulders, Tom was awoken by Cory, who quickly spoke. “We’re here! Make sure you’re wide awake!” with that, the three exited the car and met up with Baker City Police Department.

“There is one main trail that goes right through the forest, but the suspect could be hiding anywhere,” Tom spoke for the first time in a while. “He is about 5’7” with short blonde hair.” He continued. Everyone looked at him and took note of the information and continued with their conversation. The group of seven made their way to the entrance of the thick forest.

Upon entering the forest, the group was instantly hit with a strange feeling. They all knew everyone felt it, but they all also decided to ignore it. They were on a hunt for a dangerous man, of course, they’re going to feel uneasy. Peering into the sunrise-lit forest, the group assured they had everything they needed and entered, guns ready. “Let’s split up here.” a cop said once they were a good ten minutes into the forest. “If you see or hear anything, announce it on the radio, and we’ll all get to you as fast as we can.” everyone nodded in agreement and took different angles into the dense, twisted forest. Though the sun was rising higher overhead, it appeared to be getting darker, Tom looked up to see if he was under thick tree branches, but he could visibly see the blue sky, rubbing his eyes, he continued. Walking for what seemed like an hour, Tom noticed something. It looked like an old building!

“Hey guys, I see what appears to be an old building!” No response. “Guys? -” Quickly there was a voice on the other side.

“Don’t go near it, turn away now.” Tom was astounded at the deep, mysterious voice that answered him.

“Are you sure? He could be hidi-”

“Yes, I’m sure. Leave now!” With that, Tom lowered the radio, he was about to turn away when he noticed a man stumble out of the building. The man looked up at Tom and stopped all movement. In an instant, the man rushed Tom, who instantly drew his gun.

“Stop right there!” Tom announced. This was clearly not the wanted man, but this man was very rugged looking. He wore tattered clothing; his face dirt masked his rough face and his long, greasy hair swung in the wind. “Stop!” Tom announced one more time before the man noticed the gun and froze.

“You’ve got to help me.” The old man spoke, tears in his eyes. “They won’t let me leave, I have tried so many times, and they always find out.” the man dropped to his knees. “They probably know we are talking right now.”

“Who is this they you’re talking about?” Tom asked skeptically. Before the man could answer, there was a loud yell, thundering from the direction of the building.

“No. No-no.” The old man yelled. “I’ve got to go. Take this, read it, get more people, save me, you can’t do it alone. Come back, I’ll try to survive for a little longer.” The man tossed Tom an extremely old folder. Tom was very confused but said nothing as the man ran back to the building. He quickly decided to turn away and head another direction.

After walking a good distance, he met up with Cory and another officer. “Any luck Tom?” Cory said, tossing him an energy bar. Tom didn’t reply. “Dude- what’s wrong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“N-Nothing. Just tired.” He said, unwrapping the energy bar. The two looked at Tom suspiciously, then went back to their conversation. Tom’s mind was wandering while he adjusted the folder under his jacket. Should he tell the others what he had just seen? He decided he would examine it at home first. “So, why was it so important to avoid that building?” Tom muttered.

“What building?” Cory asked.

“Didn’t you hear me on the radio? I came across a building, but someone told me not to go near it.” Tom replied intently.

“Uh, I didn’t hear you,” Cory replied, looking at the police officer who shook his head. “Neither of us did.” Are you sure you’re okay?”

Tom knew the voice didn’t sound familiar; it must have been one of the other police officers whom he didn’t know. “I just feel a little sick.”

“Well, we were just about to call it quits for today anyways,” Cory replied.

The three signaled by radio to meet back up at the vehicles and one by one over the radio replied: “copy.” None of which sounded like the voice over the radio. Everyone was at the vehicles, they all had an upset look on their face. “Well,” started Jeanne, “Same time next Monday.” We will meet up on the other side of the forest, hopefully, cut him off.” Everyone agreed and got into their vehicles and drove off.

When Tom finally arrived home, he went straight to his office room, laid out the folder and got a cup of coffee. His wife worked later and usually got home at around midnight, so he used this alone time for whatever he wanted. The folder contained many loose, tattered paper that was worn but clearly legible. The paper wasn’t lined, but rather rough as out of its time. He grabbed the one on top and began.

I don’t remember what happened, all I know is I woke up here. I sat up and was extremely dizzy. I started writing this a couple hours after I woke up because whatever is going on should be documented. I’ll update on anything I find out.

Crawling around the dark room, I found a bowl of food. It tastes awful, but it’s nice to have something in my stomach. Also, there is a sink with water that I can drink out of! At least, whatever this is, I have necessities. I also noticed there is a door; I’m unsure if I am supposed to open it or not, but the confusion is killing me. Tomorrow I will open the door, I am getting rest right now.

There was a small gap between paragraphs.

I opened the door! Peering outside, I saw trees I also observed that I am currently in a nice, wooden house.

Tom paused to think, that house was extremely old and worn down, how could it have been considered ‘nice’? Tom continued reading.

I stepped outside and breathed the nice fresh air. I didn’t see anybody around still, so I decided to walk around and see if I am the only one. I noticed a couple other houses and what looked like an abandoned mine shaft. I decided to check out one of the other houses and upon arriving I had an unnerving feeling that I was being watched. Chills were sent down my spine, and my skin became as coarse as sandpaper. I peered over my shoulder and saw nothing. I turned the other way and… I swear I heard a crash come from the mineshaft, but I was too frightened at the time to check it out, so I decided to run back to the house I awoke at, and here I am. If anything happens tomorrow, I will keep you updated.

I swear I am not losing it… I know I hear noises. Distant clashing sounds, murmured chanting noises, even quiet breathing. There was more food in my bowl this morning. I haven’t left my house today. I’m not sure what anyone wants with me; I am just getting into my adulthood. I never did harm to anyone.

That line baffled Tom: “I’m just getting into my adulthood…” this time frame didn’t seem to make sense. He decided to call that a night. Hiding the folder in a secret compartment under his desk, that not even Anna knew about, he crawled in bed and awaited his wife’s return. When she finally arrived, he greeted her by taking her bags and jacket and leading her to the bedroom. She was always exhausted after work, so he tried to make it as easy on her as possible. “How was work?” She asked.

“It was different,” he said, recalling the strange man.

“What was so different?” She replied.

“Uh- I’m not used to field work.” He chuckled.

“Oh? You had to go out today?” She asked. He sat down and told her all about the accident and the resulting incidents, leaving out the strange man. After that, the two went to sleep. When Tom woke up, Anna was gone, there was a note on the table. “Hey, I will be home late today, Susan just invited me to her baby shower so I will be gone all day. Love you.” He sighed, but quickly remembered about the papers and made his way to his desk. He found where he last left off and continued.

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Oh my gosh… I saw the source of the noise; I knew I wasn’t going crazy! It was terrifying. I thought it was going to kill me! I have never believed in the superstitious or anything, but this has absolutely baffled me. It looked humanoid, but there is no way anyone would call that thing a human. I saw it as I was walking back to the other house, determined to enter the other house to see if there were more like me. But on my way there, I saw it. It stood at the opening of the mine shaft staring at me; it looked at me so menacingly that I thought it would kill me. My feeling was strengthened as it approached me. I tried to run, but I couldn’t! I am too weak with one meal a day, and the thing must be so fast! It grabbed me by the back of my shirt and threw me down I started backing away on my back as it cocked its neck, examining me. Its eyes were pure white, appeared to be free of pupils or anything but it appeared to be staring me down. Next thing I knew I was waking up in what I now call, my house. I am too scared to leave, I am not sure what they did to me, but there is a small pinhole in my arm like a thick needle was inserted into me. This can’t be real. I will update tomorrow.

Tom sat back in disbelief. This couldn’t be real! There was no way. The old man played a trick on him. However, he was still interested, so he grabbed the next sheet of paper.

Today one of the things came into my house and, again, I blacked out. This time, however, I woke up in a very dark, damp area. Stone surrounds me, so I am assuming I am in the mine. But why? Thankfully there is a torch next to me, honestly writing these events is the only thing I can do to keep myself sane. I need to look for a way out, though.

Tom stood up with the paper to walk into the other room and continued reading.

I looked and looked and couldn’t find anything! I am beginning to feel claustrophobic an-

Sorry, I never finished that last sentence, as I was writing, I saw white orbs approaching from the distance. That’s all you can see from them in this absolute darkness; their skin is just as black as this cave. However, it grabbed my arm, and I expected to black out, but I didn’t! It pulled me up and led me to an incline, and we proceeded. I’m not necessarily smart, but this place seems much deeper than any other mine. Maybe I am wrong, and they are very deep, but we walked for what seemed like half a day before arriving at sunlight. Once we were there, the thing pushed me out and stood in the darkness of the opening of the mine. I wasn’t sure what it wanted me to do, so I headed back to the house. You know what? I am tired of this, why don’t I just run away? I’m bound to find some civilization. Tomorrow I am going to leave.

Tom flipped to the next page.

No, no no! Upon trying to flee, I heard a god-awful screech emanating from what I am assuming to be the mine shaft. I had a feeling they knew I was frightened. So I turned back and ran. Upon entering the small community, I noticed a small sign near the entrance that read: Greenhorn Oregon. I had often heard of Green Horn! That would explain the mine because, in the mid-1800s, it was a very active gold mine town. However, federal government foreclosed it in 1901 because of “land issues.” just five years ago.

Tom froze. Those three words danced on his tongue. “Five years ago.” For the second time, the time frame didn’t add up. This man was in his forties or fifties in 1906, and then 96 years later, still looked the same? This was obviously a hoax. But something deep down told Tom otherwise. He thought back to the encounter with the man; he looked absolutely frightened, and the screech he heard! It was definitely not human! Tom was a very logical thinker; he couldn’t stand not understanding just what was going on, so he continued.

It feels like it’s been fifty years since I have written in this paper. I was taken down in the mineshaft but never returned. Only saw the creatures when they brought me food or water, for a while I decided to try to end it all and not accept the offerings but I quickly found out that wasn’t an option. I would black out and wake up feeling full and no longer thirsty. These things want me alive… Why? I have navigated around this large, open cave system. I have found multiple human skeletons wrapped in mining uniform. Were these miners killed down here? They all appeared to be in a pile, though; it appeared as though they were brought down here and tossed after death. Being in total darkness with only a dim lamp is one of the worst experiences ever. I am not sure how I am not frail like an old man, I have got to be well over 100 years old, and I feel the same as I did when I got here. I know I don’t seem surprised at this but, after all, this, nothing surprises me anymore.

Intrigued, Tom wasted no time reading on to the next entry.

I finally found the incline the beast led me up before! I am free! I wandered slowly up the slope for what felt like days, but I made it. Finally! The sun burnt my eyes and skin at first, but I got used to it, as I walked by a building I saw my reflection in the window, I hadn’t changed in all that time! I have gotten used to the strange, unreal occurrences lately but how have I not aged in the slightest? Pondering that among many other questions, I entered my house again; it’s nice to lay on my bed. I hear something… I think one is coming for me. I’ll write as soon as I can.

I’m not sure how much time has passed, but I know I have been out for a very long time. Upon awakening I looked outside my door and noticed movement out in the forest, it was a man! The first human I have seen in decades! I almost wanted to yell for him, but I didn’t want to get the thing’s attention, let me now note that there are at least three of the creatures, I have seen three at one time. But back to the man, he was an average height man, with blonde hair, looking as if fleeing from something. Though he was coming towards my house, he should have been fleeing away, he pulled a knife out from his pocket and rushed me, I didn’t know what to do, so I yelled at him. He got to my door, and I slammed it on him. There were thuds on the door before it finally burst open. I was on the ground, I had no way of protecting myself, I backed into the corner but before the man could kill me, he froze as a pitch black hand coiled itself around his neck. He gasped for air but the thing quickly crushed his throat. I was amazed. Why did it save me? Why am I so important to them? The creature stared at me with those spiteful eyes as if to say “I want to kill you, but I can’t” then walked off. I am done writing for today.

Tom looked at the next journal entry.

This morning I found a small article that gave me many answers, it claimed that the mine was shut down not because of “land issues” but because the miners stumbled across something amazing. An entire underground civilization! Lost through time and government secrecy. They quickly told the government which occupied it with an army. This Army apparently cleared the place of the creatures and burned all the bodies. They wrote that the creatures were “savages, eyes adapted to pitch black and skin darker than sin itself.” That mine was so deep not because miners dug all that way, but because these creatures have lived here for ages! This answers so many questions! But I am still wondering, why do they want me alive? I am not sure. But tomorrow I am going to make another break for it, what are they going to do, kill me?

Dropping the papers in shock, Tom was unable to believe what he had just read, he quickly called up the other six people and told them to meet up at the place they had the day before because of an emergency. They all did without hesitation. “What is it?” Jeanne asked frantically. Everyone looked at Tom because that was the question on all of their minds.

Tom simply replied with “Follow me, and make sure you’re armed.” The group complied yet looked at each other, exchanging worried glances. Walking through the thick forest, Tom found himself lost. He took a break and looked around. At first, he didn’t notice it, but at a second glance, he saw what looked like a body in the distance. Running over there immediately, he found a body of a rugged old man, throat crushed still with fresh blood. “No no no no,” Tom repeated. The group quickly put the body In a body bag and looked at Tom.

“How did you know there would be a body?” They asked.

“I didn’t..” he replied. He looked up and saw a large fence around what appeared to be a small civilization. Tom slowly walked up to it. “This wasn’t here before” he muttered to himself. Looking along the fence, he saw there was a large yellow sign further down so he quickly went over to it. Before he arrived at the sign, he noticed a hole in the fence. It looked as if the fence was physically torn; like something with immense strength tore a hole in the metallic framework. He backed up. The sharp, broken edges of the torn fence appeared to have a black flesh-like substance on it. “Oh god no,” Tom said, “Let’s get out of here!”

As he was running, he heard a police officer say behind him, “Private government property due to land issues.” Tom froze. Slowly turning around, he saw the man reading the large yellow sign that the man had indeed read correctly.

“Let’s go!” Tom said. “Now!” everyone looked at Tom in confusion.

“Why do you drag us out here and immediately want to go?” Cory said.

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“Just listen to me!” Tom replied still backing up.

“Let’s check this place out!” a voice came up from the crowd.

“It says not to! You’re a cop! You should abide by the rules!” Tom replied.

“Listen, son, I’ll tell you a little secret. This is Greenhorn! An abandoned town that was a big gold mine! There could be bounties of gold in here! I’m not leaving!”

“You are going to die…” Tom said. He knew if he said why they wouldn’t believe him. The officer looked at Tom in disgust.

“I always knew you were crazy.” Frustrated, Tom turned and left to go to the cars and wait. He sat in his car for about three hours. Tears built up in his eyes, he wanted to believe they were just occupied with searching the place but he knew the truth– they were dead.

A week later word in the newspaper was that six of a seven-person group were missing on a manhunt. A second group of investigators found a body in a body bag that forensic scientists were shocked to say had no DNA records on file. They also found a fenced in, a government-owned ghost town. They didn’t want to get mixed up with the feds so they ignored that area completely. Tom decided to tell his wife about everything. She was absolutely shocked. He told her he wants to go look one more time to see if the government was there or not. Against her will, he went there. He lied behind a stump and watched, nothing seemed to happen. Though every time he looked at the mine he was struck with fear. Just before he was about to call it quits, he noticed something that made his heart sink. Something was moving in the mine. He didn’t move. Not out of interest or curiosity, but he was physically paralyzed with fear. The figure emerged out of the mine, holding a stack of something. Managing the courage and motor skills, he pulled up his binoculars to see what it was. His jaw dropped and he vomited instantly. There were six bowls with what appeared to be human flesh in each of them. The creature carried it to the house that the old man had existed before, went in, and returned without the bowls. The creature walked back to the mine and disappeared. Tom fled as fast as he could and returned home, he told his wife the truth that there were no government officials there though he left out any details. He knew deep down that the rest of his group were living there, and probably will be for the next couple centuries.
Chapter 2

Two years after the Green Horn case, Tom found himself promoted in the workforce to the highest ranking official in his office. He was very glad that this assured he would never have to go out in the field again; going to Green Horn scarred him for life but he was coping with it. He reluctantly didn’t tell anyone of the possibility of the group remaining alive in fear that it would ultimately lead to even more unnecessary deaths. So he set to move on and try to forget; he successfully accomplished both goals.

Tom’s life was great, he was now making a good salary, he and his wife Anna had just had a child, and they had recently bought a brand-new truck. Tom loved his new job, being as organized as he was, he could find any folder anyone needed and get information to whoever needed it, he was the perfect man for the job. But it was his promotion, ultimately, that led to his ultimate fate.

Tom worked at his new job for three years, being very successful and far more efficient than his prior. He had access to every case current or in the past. One day, he was searching through old folders and he found one labeled “Greenhorn” Tom froze. The case that he had worked in was labeled “Malheur forest killer.” He remembered because it was he who named it! Tom’s heart began to pound when he realized he wasn’t looking in a case file drawer, but an evidence and articles drawer. He slid his hand on the old, course folder, debating on whether or not to unlock its secrets for the first time in a very long period of time. Taking deep breaths, he grabbed the folder, memories flooding his brain as he began to feel great sorrow that his colleagues could possibly be alive, being tortured as he sat there. He dropped the folder and began to weep.

After taking a moment to collect himself, he opened the folder and saw a photograph. It showed five men surrounding the body of what must have been one of the creatures of the mine. The thing was awful, all five men had saddened looks on their faces and he couldn’t help but to feel bad for them. He noticed in the pictures the bulbous, white eyes looking towards the camera on the dead creature. The next piece of evidence he found was a small letter that reads:

After examining the body completely, we have come to a conclusion that these creatures have independently evolved with humans, they haven’t had the same environment as us and, therefore, have evolved far different traits. As for DNA, they are astoundingly close to ours, far closer than even the most similar of apes, but their small differences aren’t so small. They have some chains of DNA that aren’t even carbon-based, they’re silicon-based! I mean, this accounts for about .0001% of their DNA but it is absolutely baffling! Their Bone structures are similar to ours but they have longer arms and legs. Their brains seem to be high functioning like a human’s which is very frightening. I would ask that you bring one to me alive so I can run tests on it. Thank you,
Sincerely,
Dr. Jefferey M. Hawthorne

Tom found himself recalling the man whose story he had read three years ago. This evidence was helpful in filling in the blanks. He searched through the papers again, finding more photos of the creatures until he came across a photograph of a dead man that looked to be a miner, his neck was visibly crushed. The caption of the photo read: Jeff A. Dalmer, a twelve-year miner was killed by one of the creatures down in “Hell Hole.” Tom thought to himself, “That name seems fitting.”

Placing the photo into the pile of papers he has already examined, something caught his eye, it was named “Short story of a Hell Hole survivor” he grabbed the small booklet and opened it, and started to read.

I don’t know where to start, so I’ll dive right in. I have been a miner in greenhorn for about seven years now, we moved here due to high chances of finding gold. This was the biggest mistake of my life. We discovered it in 1871 when we miners were working on deepening the mine shaft, we hit a hollow portion of the wall. We called all of the miners over and began to pick at the hollow wall and believe it or not, it led to a chamber of some kind! Amazed, we made a stable doorway and stepped into the chamber which smelled of sulfur and damp air.

It was almost immediately that one of the guys yelled “Gold!” We all rushed over to see if he was bluffing but he wasn’t! There was the largest gold ore vein that I’ve ever seen right there in front of our faces! Not only that, but he found the opening to an extremely long cave-like hallway that seemed to go down for miles. We all decided to go to the surface to alert our managers of the finding but Adam, the man who found the gold, insisted on staying, so we let him. As soon as we reached sunlight we heard what sounded like a guttural moan followed by a scream of terror! Grabbing their pickaxes, a group of people ran back down to see what the commotion was while I and two others continued on our original mission. When we told him what we had found, his face went pale. At first, he was reluctant to tell us why he reacted so poorly to it but he finally caved and pulled out a folder. He told us how the natives warned the settlers about an underground people that are to not be disturbed. There are often paintings depicting tall, black creatures with white eyes standing over bodies of the natives. This was enough for me, I decided to get my family and move out of here, so I will store this in the library and hope someone finds it and I hope this can help in any way.

Tom was amazed at what he had just read. It was insane that this was even possible because before he had never heard of Green Horn and he definitely wouldn’t have guessed about the cave creatures. He gazed over to see another photograph, but this one was different. It showed a pile of miners, they all appeared to be dead and tossed into one heap of death. That is when he recognized the section of the chamber that they were located in; that had been where the skeletons were! The bodies, however, were not the most frightening aspect of this photograph, standing on either side of the pile were the creatures, looking into the camera as if they were proud. “Who had taken the picture?” Tom asked himself in his head. That’s when he found the Article about Adam. It was said that Adam, the man who had initially found the gold, wasn’t actually killed but protected! He was set to retire very soon, he was at the age of forty. Green Horn civilians reported seeing Adam trudge out of the mine in the middle of the night only to bring boxes of stuff down into the mine.

Adam’s family were mourning the death of their beloved when he seemingly walked past his own funeral. When people tried to stop him, he looked at them with such malice that it would make a grown man shudder. He apparently had pitch black eyes, opposite of the creatures, and surrounding them the skin was a rosy shade of pink. One man tried to grab him but Adam shoved the man off with enormous strength and went home, came out with a box, and returned to the cave. Tom froze when he read the last line of the article, “Adam was said to have a very deep voice that sounded inhuman, and when anyone wanted to enter the mine, he would yell from the bottom of the mine in his fiendish voice to not enter.

Tom sat back in disbelief, had it been Adam that told him not to enter? And how did he know the people were approaching? Things made less sense now than ever. Tom looked over to the folder and saw something that shocked him. “An estimated 8 miles deep into the earth’s crust.” Tom thought to himself that should be extremely hot! But he quickly shrugged it off as another of the creatures’ adaptation to their own environment. That was the final piece in the folder, satisfied, tom replaced them all and placed the folder on the desk.

On the ride home, Tom’s mind was racing, thinking about the creatures and everything that he had gone through. He claimed multiple times to Anna that he was having terrible dreams of the creatures and that they keep looking at him as if they were looking into his soul with those pale eyes. This is where the story comes to an abrupt end, however, I wish there was more to say! However, the story from Tom’s point of view came to an abrupt end once he grew tired of the horrible nightmares. Tom’s lifeless body was found hanging in his bedroom by his wife that night. Greenhorn is completely forgotten now, it’s not necessarily off limits but it is warned to never go near it. That’s the story of Greenhorn, take from it what you will. There isn’t anything more to say except the elephant in the room; don’t ever go near Greenhorn Oregon.

Credit: CreepyQuantum

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11 thoughts on “Greenhorn”

  1. Horrible. I know this is called creepypasta but this story was the literary equivalent of a bowl of overcooked, mushy, badly seasoned spaghetti. I could only make it through a few paragraphs of this bloviated word goop. Was this written collaboratively by a flash mob of bunnies hopping across keyboards? ?/10

  2. I liked how a clue led to another but there were a lot of flaws and plot holes. In the end there were many names and people that weren’t necessary to mention which confused readers. The part where Tom’s team find the dead body and the torn fence confused me. Was he the man that attacked the man who wrote his story? If so, was he the killer the ploice were looking for? What happened to the man that was hostage to the creatures? And why was there a new fence? Who made it? If it was the creatures, it wouldn’t make much sense to tear it. The file that Tom found years after the incident was also confusing. Where did these photos come from and how didn’t Tom know about them if he was leading the investigation? How did the creatures allow their photos to be taken and why weren’t they killed? Were they working the government and if so, to what bargain? Apart from these things, we don’t even know why the creatures kept human hostages and how did they make the humans live for centuries. Did the black thing they inserted in their arm have anything to do with this and how they made them black out? The story of Adam didn’t make sense either. From what did they protect him and why did he become similar to the creatures? And what is his role today? The ending continued to ruin the story as after all those mixed clues he just committed suicide and took everything to the grave with him. We are only left with simple clues that as they are pretty much amount to nothing. The writing style continued to confuse us. Firstly, you need to put quotation marks when he is reading smoething. Without them I had to constantly stop to find out if he’s talking or reading. Secondly, you put a lot of content in one sentence when you should have divided them. The descriptions were good though. It is the most confusing and dissapointing story that i have ever read. Considering how long this was, I consider it a waste of time. I give it a 1/10.

  3. I like the idea behind the story, but its execution was not good. Typos, random capitalized words, words that should have had capitals and didnt, going back and forth from past and present tense, and a very rushed story that develop any of its characters enough to make the reader care about them all drag this story down. The worst part was the ending, though. Tom kills himself and that’s it.

    3/10

  4. Tom killing himself was a terrible ending that took me by surprise, and not in a good way. There wasn’t any indication that Tom was in that state, and it didn’t make any sense for him to off himself just because he read the case files.
    I enjoyed the idea of an underground civilization, although I think it would have been much better to expand more on the creatures themselves. Why did they kill certain people and keep others alive? Why does time seem to stand still, or at least become insignificant to the people held captive? Why did Tom initially see a different setting than what him and the rest of the detectives saw?
    There definitely needed to be some punctuation and grammar corrections as well.
    Other than that, it was a pretty good story. 7/10

  5. Why wouldn’t you have put quotation marks or italicized where he is reading ? The story just rambles on and on, forcing the reader to question if they are reading what Tom is thinking or what Tom is reading.

  6. IIt would really help with the narrative if you used italics or quotation marks to mark where Tom was reading someone elses story. It was difficult to tell where Toms story and the guys story intersected.

  7. 4/10 only because of the ending. I enjoyed the story and it was very well written. With even just the slightest change to the ending I would score higher but as it is now the ending ruined it for me.
    In my opinion an ending can make or break a story and this one for me broke it. I’m sorry. But thank you so much for sharing your work with us! I did enjoy it!

  8. Great story except for the ending. It all builds up the tension really well and had me hooked for the whole story. Then the ending, he killed himself and that’s it. It feels kind of unfinished, there’s so much more potential in this one

  9. First of all the story isnt even that scary, its waaay too long and it’s just flooding with flaws. Such as unnecessary characters and crappy plot line, but the part that makes it really bad is the fact that there is apsolutely no plot twist. I rate 3/10 didn’t like the story

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