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Girl From The Black Lagoon



Estimated reading time — 2 minutes

When I was in the 5th grade, our class would get to spend a week at a camp. Only people from our class/school would go.

All that week, there’d been a lot of talk about a girl who had drowned in the lagoon a few years back. I heard a lot of weird stuff from other kids (scratching at the bottom of kayaks/hearing yelling and splashing at night with no one there) Most of this I chalked up to other kids my age being retarded. The counselors wouldn’t talk to us about it.

One night we were supposed to have a guy come talk to us about snakes and lizards (for a night session). We had punch, and cookies, and waited on him for a long time. The counselors told us he wasn’t coming, but they weren’t sure what happened to him. (they didn’t get a phone call, I never found out why he didn’t show up) So we all milled around in the main lodge instead.

A girl I didn’t recognize approached me, and asked me out of the blue if I’d heard about the story of the girl that drowned in the lagoon. I had, and relayed it to her briefly. And she told me that the story I heard wasn’t true, that the girl had been meeting her boyfriend (we weren’t allowed to be out at night with the boys, or hold hands, etc.) and they’d had a fight.

It’s been since fifth grade, but I’m pretty sure the kid left her to drown.

The story (and the way the girl was talking) got to me for some reason. Also, the girl who had died was supposed to have long black hair and glasses (which the person I was talking to did).

After she walked away, I picked her out from the other students again and told her “I don’t believe in ghosts.”

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She replied, “I do.”

After that, she wandered off and I couldn’t find her any more. I asked about her with my classmates, and also spent a few weeks after I got back trying to scout her out in the cafeteria (I skipped class one day so I could kind of scout all the lunch periods), but I never saw her again.

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I’d like to add, there are some incongruent things:

The girl also said some really bizarre things, like that that the ghost of the girl could possess the girls at the lodge during the full moon if it fell on a Wednesday (it wasn’t Wednesday).

Also, as far as I can tell, no one was ever drowned in that lagoon. I haven’t been able to find information on it since, just the string of reports from the other kids and the creepy girl that disappeared.

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85 thoughts on “Girl From The Black Lagoon”

  1. im sorry to be harsh, but this sucked. no where near creepy! you could have done way better, it was little detailed and boring :D

  2. there’s nothing to it. “I heard this, but this girl heard something different then i never saw her again.” sounds like normal school.

  3. @Anon: HURR HURR IMA BE ANON AND POST A PICTURE OF A FACE

    Regardless of if the face is yours or not, it doesn’t need to be there. Take it off.

  4. This was possibly one of the worst pastas I’ve ever read, started good. But it was too obvious and half assed

    0/10

  5. This idea has been used so many times, it should be dead and rotting by now, but no, some stupid moron of a writer (and I use that term very loosly) has decided to keep it alive. Do the world a favour and put it out its misery once and for all.

    Fear the Darkness

    -Nex

  6. i think the author stole this from the goosebumps book “The Curse of Camp Cold Lake.” 3 stars out of ten, and that’s being generous

  7. “I heard a lot of weird stuff from other kids (scratching at the bottom of kayaks/hearing yelling and splashing at night with no one there) Most of this I chalked up to other kids my age being retarded.”

    Hey guys, I think the author takes special classes. Take it easy on ’em.

  8. There are many stories like these told at summer camps to frighten children. This one is no different.

  9. Dry pasta. That sort of story has been re-written so many times… but I can easily admit it does sound like a six year old probably wrote it. The whole part about “the girl had long black hair and glasses (and the girl I was talking to did)” [not an exact quote] was just bad. You’re not supposed to give away everything to your readers.
    Very predictable.
    -5/5 stars

  10. If pasta’s could have personalities, this one would either be manic depressive, or schizophrenic. Starts off cliche but promising, and then the story debunks every creepy aspect of itself in the second half.

    It’s like the author was setting up a scary story, but decided he actually didn’t want to frighten the reader TOO much, so he backpedaled and surgically removed every mysterious aspect of it.

  11. Anonymous Punk

    When I think of a girl from the Black Lagoon, I think of Revy gunning down random mobsters with dual berretas. Now I also think of this lame pasta. Thanks for the bad association.

  12. WTF.

    I give this 1 twist of the Parmesan grinder out of 5.

    Would have gotten 2 twists if the spooky girl made out with the story teller.

  13. Too many parentheses. You could’ve incorporated the information from the parentheses into the story. BUT NOOOOOO! You had to throw ’em in with parentheses. Suckish writing, suckish ending, suckish everything. Undercooked pasta. The noodles are still frozen.

    0/10

  14. oh wow didnt see that coming from a mile away, should have mentioned the hair and glasses earlier and not have been so painfully obvious

    parentheses are inexcusable in a short story

    it looks like you thought of more things to include as you were writing it but instead of going back an putting them in a logical place you threw them on the end giving it a failure of a retroactive gasp

  15. I was waiting for the punchline, then realised I was reading a shitty story and not a sick joke.

    Damn.

  16. Well, it’s all been said already. A good enough idea, but horrendous execution.

    There isn’t really a point to saying ‘it’s already been done’ because just about all of nothing is original these days. Between most ideas being taken, and most writers being lazy, there’s just not much creativity out there anymore.

  17. Creature from the black lagoon? Not scary. You could see the zipper.
    Girl from the black lagoon? Not scary. She is a ghost. Holy shit, never saw it coming.

  18. this sounds like someone was just posting on the net about an experience they had, but i like it. all the “dark and edgy” bullshit with flowery words and a spooky tone sound like they’re written by the same highschool novelist-wannabe. may as well all begin with “IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT…” i personally enjoy reading things that are told like accounts of real experiences a lot more than cheesy b-movie horror.

  19. this sounds like someone was just posting on the net about an experience they had, but i like it. all the “dark and edgy” bullshit with flowery words and a spooky tone sound like they’re written by the same highschool novelist-wannabe. may as well all begin with “IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT…” i personally enjoy reading things that are told like accounts of real experiences a lot more than cheesy b-movie horror.

  20. I…just…nope. nothing

    oh ye thut gurls teh ghostie.

    Ending was overkill on top of overkill. It kind of screams “GHOST! SHE’S A GHOST! AAAAAH!!”

    sorry

  21. there to meet with Macbeth!

    Okay at first, and then got horribly cliche. The connection between the creepy girl and the girl who drowned couldn’t have been more blatant if you had her wear a tshirt that said ‘I’M DEAD I’M DEAD I’M THE GIRL WHO DROWNED.’

  22. has the feel of a true story, mostly because it’s so incomplete and poorly written, particularly that ending. not a very interesting read, though.

    if it isn’t a true story, that’s another boo point from me. =__=

  23. THERE WAS A SCARY STORY ABOUT A LAKE, AND SOME RANDOM GIRL THAT DIDN’T GO TO MY SCHOOL TOLD ME A DIFFERENT VERSION! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

  24. i think this may actually be a pasta – like somebody posted this in a thread or something as a “true experience” … it’s not written like a story at all – but told like it was an experience.

    still a stupid experience though.

  25. So basically…nobody ever died in the lagoon, therefore there couldn’t possibly be a ghost.
    So it was just some random girl that lives in the woods or nearby or something, who likes to be weird and tell stories to the kids at camp to try and freak them out.
    Also, the wording in this was horribly confusing.

  26. What the fuck is the point of this?

    “Some girl died at camp and I talked to a creepy girl about it. She might have been a ghost, but maybe not. Also maybe nobody died at all.”

  27. Everything from the 4th paragraph and down… It just went to Hell from there.

    This idea is the most over-used one out there. Besides evil dolls.
    – Kid at camp
    – Someone died at said camp
    – Strange dissapearence
    – Someone the main character haven’t seen before apporaches them
    – ZOMG IT’S TEH GHOST!!!11!!!!one!!!

    God
    There’s like 12 Goosebump books based on this idea.

    This story just seems like some crappy things children would tell each other in their Mom’s basement after watching a horror movie.

    I give this pasta 2 thumbs down.

  28. Predictable. Hell, it would have been better if it turned out that the girl really wasn’t the ghost. At least it would have been somewhat of a twist.

  29. undercooked pasta is TOTALLY undercooked.
    J feels neither nourished nor satisfied.
    I’d like to have a word with the chef =((

  30. It’s not written like a story, but more of somebody just trying to relay something that happened to them. More like a ‘wut do u think of dis’ thing.

  31. Pretty.. boring.. actually.. it really had no climax, or point of interest for me. Something more interesting should’ve happened.

  32. This one fell flat with the no reports thing, it makes it feel like when my friends and I were in school and would stage scary stories for the younger kids, and one of us would pretend to be the ghost and go up to the kids at night.

    It’s an old church camp trick you’d do on the last night of camp, usually to the fourteen year old kiddies you caught having lesbian sex in the bathroom and decided not to tell their youth group leaders about.

  33. Good concept, but pretty poor execution.

    For example, instead of “Also, the girl who had died was supposed to have long black hair and glasses (which the person I was talking to did).”

    You should have described the girl when introducing her, then told us about the legend’s appearance, allowing the reader to figure it out by themself

  34. Not a horrifyingly creepy story, but a really neat one. I like. I do think it could have been a little bit longer with maybe some more embellishments though.

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