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Get Help



Estimated reading time — 2 minutes

GET HELP.

You start noticing those words when you’re going about your day-to-day business – just flipping through the classifieds, or posted on telephones near bridges. Normal places. Just words that seem to be catching your eye. Then they start appearing more randomly: the first seven tiles you pick in Scrabble, the first spoonful of alphabet soup, even those stupid spams sent by strangers. You even check a few of them, but they all end up being for the same old pills and promises.

Now it’s getting so everything you read has those words crop up – close-captioned TV shows, book titles, CDs, bus schedules, menus, everywhere. It’s distracting, very very distracting, it’s so very hard to concentrate when words squiggle out of the corner of your eye, when the keyboard’s no longer qwerty but gethelpgethelpgethelp.

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The delusion’s taking its toll. Who needs help? Who’s sending you this message? Why you? How can you help someone who you don’t even know? You’re trying to type an email to a friend. It’s very hard to do. The letters keep swimming and you add an apology in the email, just in case your writing’s garbled. You finally hit send.

You wake up.

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You’re in the hospital. Your friend is sitting beside you. I was so worried, he says. When you sent that email. GET HELP GET HELP GET HELP, over and over. I came over and found you on the floor. They had to do surgery. Do you know what they found? A second brain. Tiny but fully formed, growing in your head. It was blocking an artery. You’re lucky to be alive.

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But you aren’t really listening to your friend any more. You’re staring at a fire escape diagram near your bed. It doesn’t say anything about fire safety at all.

FINALLY, it says. IT WAS GETTING CROWDED IN THERE.

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92 thoughts on “Get Help”

  1. Meh, still. This story was meh. It was MEH. IT WAS MEH!!!!!! XD Still though, I was expecting something bigger at the end. ;) Just thought I’d let whoever wrote this would know to make a more anticipated ending next time.

  2. His real brain ( the one he was born with ) was telling him to GET HELP to get the parasite brain out of his head. but the doctor took out the wrong brain.

  3. Apparently his surgeons don’t know the size difference between a two-fists put-together brain and a larger one that grew at some point in time.

    Those surgeons fail biology forever.

  4. This wasn’t all that scary I mean GET HELP GET HELP GET HELP GET HELP GET HELP GET HELP GET HELP GET HELP GET HELP GET HELP GET HELP GET HELP GET , I mean really.

  5. Interesting idea…but seriously GET HELP WITH YOUR GRAMMAR….sheesh

    Once again, writers failing at checking their own work

  6. ROFL

    they removed the wrong brain xD

    when the man looked at the diagram, the only thing he read was “IT WAS GETTING CROWDED IN THERE”

    that means the secend mind who said it…

    so the “Other” brain took over the body :P

  7. Ever think the small brain, that was removed, was sending him telepathic messages?

    Dun dun dun…

    No really, possibility?

    I mean, what if it was like tonsils? Preserved in a jar or something after it was removed. After all, a small but fully formed brain? Pretty impressive.

    No idea how it would survive.. Dunno. Ask Author.

  8. GETTING CROWDED AGAIN GET HELP
    GETTING CROWDED AGAIN GET HELP
    GETTING CROWDED AGAIN GET HELP
    GETTING CROWDED AGAIN GET HELP
    GETTING CROWDED AGAIN GET HELP
    GETTING CROWDED AGAIN GET HELP
    GETTING CROWDED AGAIN GET HELP
    GETTING CROWDED AGAIN GET HELP
    GETTING CROWDED AGAIN GET HELP
    GETTING CROWDED AGAIN GET HELP
    GETTING CROWDED AGAIN GET HELP
    GETTING CROWDED AGAIN GET HELP
    GETTING CROWDED AGAIN GET HELP
    GETTING CROWDED AGAIN GET HELP

  9. I think it’s safe to say the wrong brain was removed, but then the how the fuck is he/his consciousness still alive comes up. All in all I liked the concept.

  10. personwholikespie

    lol i think it mens that the flunked-out-of-med-school doctors took out the wrong brain:D
    EPIC FAIL on the doctors

  11. … If they got rid of the small brain, then your brain wouldn’t be sending itself messages. It’d just think. And if your brain was removed and the parasitic one wasn’t, then you wouldn’t have any consciousness, so you wouldn’t be able to read the messages it sent. You’d be dead.
    And if there was a third brain, it’s obviously more accustomed to being there, so it have grown more and thus be bigger. The doctors shouldn’t have missed it.

  12. people who did not get it: small brain was his brain, big brain was “evil”(?) “GET HELP” brain

    i am only willing to suspend disbelief of growing second brain because i like the end so much

    also: i think the being resides in the brain, and therefore taking out the tiny brain would kill the main character (you). might have done better to be told in third person and not actually refer to the “he” post op, but i know not many of these work in third person

  13. GET HELP GET HELP GET HELP
    GET HELP GET HELP GET HELP GET HELP
    GET HELP GET HELP
    GET HELP GET HELP GET HELP

  14. Lol at people who don’t get it (couldn’t be much more straightforward) and lol at this. Not scary, though, at least not to me.

  15. If they did remove to wrong brain or whatever, how would he understand it? If his brain is missing then ‘he’ no longer really exists personality wise and if the removed the evil brain or whatever you want to call it how is it communicating with him?

  16. ew.
    i hate this one.
    at the end, at first, i was all…
    “LOL…
    wait…
    wat”
    and it took me forever and a few comments read to figure out what it meant.
    BOOOOOO. D:

  17. The Person formerly know as 'Noneya'

    I see I wasn’t the only one strongly reminded of Futurama’s Brainspawn.

    “What really killed the dinosaurs?

    “I DID!”

    I thought it was sort of funny, not creepy in the least.

  18. i would have pissed myself laughing if instead it ended like this

    You’re in the hospital. Your friend is sitting beside you. I was so worried, he says.When you sent that email. GET HELP GET HELP GET HELP, over and over, I whistled for a cab and when it came near etc.

  19. Old pasta is bad. The beginning did have some promise, but it really wasn’t that good. There are so many problems, it’s just easier to say it was poorly written.

  20. how the hell aren’t people understanding this one? i thought it was brilliant, kind of funny, but left me kind of sick feeling. shit would suck if it actually happened.

  21. This one is suppose to be bit creepy/mostly hilarious. They did remove the brain they thought to be parasitic since it’s small but it was his original brain that was small.

  22. That was rather interesting.
    Kinda reminds me of the movie “Secret Window” with Johnny Depp.

    Wah! They got rid of the wrong one! (maybe the surgeon was brainless afterall)
    …Now that reminds me of a Happy tree friends episode. haha

  23. ooh brains? reminds me of futurama!

    not a bad pasta, not really that good either. yeah nice concept i guess.

  24. I…see…
    I’ve always liked this pasta for some reason, even though I’ve never fully understood it until now.

  25. It doesn’t make sense that they would remove the wrong brain. UNLESS his regular brain was the tiny one, haha.

  26. Good concept, but executed horribly. Plotholes also abound.

    The Big Brain am winning again! I am the greetest! Bwahahaha! Now I am leaving Earth for no raisin!

    I was somehow expecting it to end like that.

    1. TheIntimateAvenger

      XD I love that episode! I really want to rewatch it, but I can’t remember what it’s called.

  27. I think there was supposed to be some sort of double twist at the end. You are led to believe that it was the second brain sending you messages, but when the messages continued after the second brain is removed, the conclusion you are supposed to come to was that it was that it was your brain sending messages the entire time. And by telling the you to GET HELP, your brain was actually trying to save your life from the lethal parasite brain.

    Either that or there is another tiny brain hidden in your noggin somewhere that the surgeon didn’t find.

    1. TheIntimateAvenger

      Finally, someone actually gets this story! I can’t believe how many idiots are all, “Wah, I can’t understand this simple concept so I’m gonna complain! Wah, wah!”

  28. Pretty creepy. I hate parasites….they are creepy….living in your head controlling what your mind sees……DAMN PARASITES!! STUPID BUGS!!

  29. If pastas are to be judged by their endings, this thing is just awful. It started out with some promise, too. :(

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