Get Help
GET HELP.
You start noticing those words when you’re going about your day-to-day business – just flipping through the classifieds, or posted on telephones near bridges. Normal places. Just words that seem to be catching your eye. Then they start appearing more randomly: the first seven tiles you pick in Scrabble, the first spoonful of alphabet soup, even those stupid spams sent by strangers. You even check a few of them, but they all end up being for the same old pills and promises.
Now it’s getting so everything you read has those words crop up – close-captioned TV shows, book titles, CDs, bus schedules, menus, everywhere. It’s distracting, very very distracting, it’s so very hard to concentrate when words squiggle out of the corner of your eye, when the keyboard’s no longer qwerty but gethelpgethelpgethelp.
The delusion’s taking its toll. Who needs help? Who’s sending you this message? Why you? How can you help someone who you don’t even know? You’re trying to type an email to a friend. It’s very hard to do. The letters keep swimming and you add an apology in the email, just in case your writing’s garbled. You finally hit send.
You wake up.
You’re in the hospital. Your friend is sitting beside you. I was so worried, he says. When you sent that email. GET HELP GET HELP GET HELP, over and over. I came over and found you on the floor. They had to do surgery. Do you know what they found? A second brain. Tiny but fully formed, growing in your head. It was blocking an artery. You’re lucky to be alive.
But you aren’t really listening to your friend any more. You’re staring at a fire escape diagram near your bed. It doesn’t say anything about fire safety at all.
FINALLY, it says. IT WAS GETTING CROWDED IN THERE.
god if you had bel-aired this you would be the most epic troll in existance.
Wow. Kinda lame, this pasta`s overdone.
BUT WHO WAS SECOND BRAIN?
BUT WHO WAS BRAIN?!
old pasta is old
…wat?
…WTF was that?
I don’t get it.
what the fuck just happened? Am I missing something here or did that make no sense whatsoever?
If pastas are to be judged by their endings, this thing is just awful. It started out with some promise, too.
Pretty creepy. I hate parasites….they are creepy….living in your head controlling what your mind sees……DAMN PARASITES!! STUPID BUGS!!
okay. so where the hell did the second brain go
Bwahaha they removed the wrong one!
LOL
Hahahaha, this was funny as hell!
I kind of like this one, but how was the brain still telling him things if they had just removed it?
I think there was supposed to be some sort of double twist at the end. You are led to believe that it was the second brain sending you messages, but when the messages continued after the second brain is removed, the conclusion you are supposed to come to was that it was that it was your brain sending messages the entire time. And by telling the you to GET HELP, your brain was actually trying to save your life from the lethal parasite brain.
Either that or there is another tiny brain hidden in your noggin somewhere that the surgeon didn’t find.
Good concept, but executed horribly. Plotholes also abound.
The Big Brain am winning again! I am the greetest! Bwahahaha! Now I am leaving Earth for no raisin!
I was somehow expecting it to end like that.
I love this one.
@smiles:They removed the wrong brain. They removed his real brain!
It doesn’t make sense that they would remove the wrong brain. UNLESS his regular brain was the tiny one, haha.
But then shouldn’t it have said “IT WAS GETTING CROWDED IN HERE”?
Paracite brain goes om nom nom nom
I…see…
I’ve always liked this pasta for some reason, even though I’ve never fully understood it until now.
Not so good, I’m afraid.
Stupid pasta is stupid. You fail at life.
Am I the ONLY one who LOLd at that?
It wasn’t scary…
Hah. Nice one
ooh brains? reminds me of futurama!
not a bad pasta, not really that good either. yeah nice concept i guess.
I kind of like this one!
=)
Thumbs down.
Didn’t they remove his “real” brain?
I lol’d.
That was rather interesting.
Kinda reminds me of the movie “Secret Window” with Johnny Depp.
Wah! They got rid of the wrong one! (maybe the surgeon was brainless afterall)
…Now that reminds me of a Happy tree friends episode. haha
This one is suppose to be bit creepy/mostly hilarious. They did remove the brain they thought to be parasitic since it’s small but it was his original brain that was small.
how the hell aren’t people understanding this one? i thought it was brilliant, kind of funny, but left me kind of sick feeling. shit would suck if it actually happened.
Old pasta is bad. The beginning did have some promise, but it really wasn’t that good. There are so many problems, it’s just easier to say it was poorly written.
yeah i think they removed his real brain accidentaly
I must have typed crappypasta in my address bar by accident.
Meh. I think it was a good concept that was poorly executed.
Nice one! i had to think it over but when i got it i jumped a little.
I don’t think a doctor would do this for some reason
i would have pissed myself laughing if instead it ended like this
You’re in the hospital. Your friend is sitting beside you. I was so worried, he says.When you sent that email. GET HELP GET HELP GET HELP, over and over, I whistled for a cab and when it came near etc.
I see I wasn’t the only one strongly reminded of Futurama’s Brainspawn.
“What really killed the dinosaurs?
“I DID!”
I thought it was sort of funny, not creepy in the least.
The last line made me lol. It killed the creepy-ness for me.
ew.
i hate this one.
at the end, at first, i was all…
“LOL…
wait…
wat”
and it took me forever and a few comments read to figure out what it meant.
BOOOOOO. D:
If they did remove to wrong brain or whatever, how would he understand it? If his brain is missing then ‘he’ no longer really exists personality wise and if the removed the evil brain or whatever you want to call it how is it communicating with him?
Lol at people who don’t get it (couldn’t be much more straightforward) and lol at this. Not scary, though, at least not to me.
GET HELP GET HELP GET HELP
GET HELP GET HELP GET HELP GET HELP
GET HELP GET HELP
GET HELP GET HELP GET HELP
people who did not get it: small brain was his brain, big brain was “evil”(?) “GET HELP” brain
i am only willing to suspend disbelief of growing second brain because i like the end so much
also: i think the being resides in the brain, and therefore taking out the tiny brain would kill the main character (you). might have done better to be told in third person and not actually refer to the “he” post op, but i know not many of these work in third person
I didn’t get it. Sorry. =D
WAT?!?!
very smart
If they removed the wrong one you would be dead. This pasta has gone off.
EXCELLENT, now I have room for that HDTV I wanted!
There were three brains. They only found one. Hence, “Getting crowded in there”
Yeah, I got the same thoughts as anonymouse. 3 or more brains and nonesuch. goood.
… If they got rid of the small brain, then your brain wouldn’t be sending itself messages. It’d just think. And if your brain was removed and the parasitic one wasn’t, then you wouldn’t have any consciousness, so you wouldn’t be able to read the messages it sent. You’d be dead.
And if there was a third brain, it’s obviously more accustomed to being there, so it have grown more and thus be bigger. The doctors shouldn’t have missed it.
WHO WAS HELP?
srsly that was eeepppiiicccnnneeesss wherever you put that xD
lol i think it mens that the flunked-out-of-med-school doctors took out the wrong brain:D
EPIC FAIL on the doctors
There was third brain, or his brain was divided in two consciousness’.
made me lol
This one made me laugh. Loved it!
Poor real brain lmao.
I laughed so hard at the ending. I think this should be on a funny story site instead.
I think it’s safe to say the wrong brain was removed, but then the how the fuck is he/his consciousness still alive comes up. All in all I liked the concept.
nigga plz
GETTING CROWDED AGAIN GET HELP
GETTING CROWDED AGAIN GET HELP
GETTING CROWDED AGAIN GET HELP
GETTING CROWDED AGAIN GET HELP
GETTING CROWDED AGAIN GET HELP
GETTING CROWDED AGAIN GET HELP
GETTING CROWDED AGAIN GET HELP
GETTING CROWDED AGAIN GET HELP
GETTING CROWDED AGAIN GET HELP
GETTING CROWDED AGAIN GET HELP
GETTING CROWDED AGAIN GET HELP
GETTING CROWDED AGAIN GET HELP
GETTING CROWDED AGAIN GET HELP
GETTING CROWDED AGAIN GET HELP
Ever think the small brain, that was removed, was sending him telepathic messages?
Dun dun dun…
No really, possibility?
I mean, what if it was like tonsils? Preserved in a jar or something after it was removed. After all, a small but fully formed brain? Pretty impressive.
No idea how it would survive.. Dunno. Ask Author.
GETHELPGETHELPGETHELPGETHELP
I lol’d.
ROFL
they removed the wrong brain xD
when the man looked at the diagram, the only thing he read was “IT WAS GETTING CROWDED IN THERE”
that means the secend mind who said it…
so the “Other” brain took over the body
Good. reminds me of Wake Up, which was much better. This is still good, though.
Fear the Darkness
-Nex
Interesting idea…but seriously GET HELP WITH YOUR GRAMMAR….sheesh
Once again, writers failing at checking their own work
cool quite freaky with a twist at the end i like it
10/10
This wasn’t all that scary I mean GET HELP GET HELP GET HELP GET HELP GET HELP GET HELP GET HELP GET HELP GET HELP GET HELP GET HELP GET HELP GET , I mean really.
Am I the only one who realises this is an epic troll attempt? Fucking funny though
Chimera perhaps?
Well maybe they can use it to give a vegetable a second chance.
Sorta reminds me of Penumbra: Black Plagues Clarence.
Not a good story though.
Apparently his surgeons don’t know the size difference between a two-fists put-together brain and a larger one that grew at some point in time.
Those surgeons fail biology forever.
GAY…almost as bad as Snap.
creepy..
His real brain ( the one he was born with ) was telling him to GET HELP to get the parasite brain out of his head. but the doctor took out the wrong brain.