Supposedly there are 7 gateways to hell scattered across the Earth. These infernal entrypoints can, it is said transport you to the Underworld itself at certain times of the year, or if particular conditions are met. Why am I telling you this? Because I have a distinct feeling that I may have stumbled across one of such places little more than a month ago.
It was around 9pm and as I often do I was walking along the rural path which connects between the centre of my town and the outlying residential areas, when I noticed something quite mysterious. The sky was darker than usual it seemed to me,but more concerning was a strange light piercing through the trees which ran parallel to the path. I stopped and looked hard towards the ethereal glow which whilst relatively dim was clearly visible.
After a short time my curiosity got the better of me and I decided to search for the source of the light. Trudging through ever thickening grass and foliage a strange feeling of panic flooded over me, the most bizarre feeling as though something truly horrific was about to occur. I stood still and caught my breath, and then- reasoning that it was merely a panic attack I continued in the direction of this captivating luminous glow.
No more than two minutes had passed before I came upon the origin of the beacon. What I saw there my mortal mind can never erase, and I feel duty bound to forwarn you never to allow your pangs of curiosity to lead you into such a ghastly situation. If something appears amiss and malevolent in some way give it a wide birth lest you suffer my fate.
I say this happened little more than a month ago of course, but I no longer keep track of time. I simply count the number of times I awake in this pure whitee room to the sound of my own blood curdling scream, before I am heavily sedated by the orderlies once more.
Credit To: Lozzaboi
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Literally..the worst thing ive ever read..
I like the concept of this story. It’s missing a few things, however. There are quite a few errors, and I noticed how the anxiety attack was quickly brushed off as nothing. As someone to deals with anxiety, I know that anxiety attacks aren’t that easy to deal with. Otherwise, this story does have potential, but it just isn’t quite there yet.
I feel like this story could have been really good if a little more research, and effort were put into it :)
but then WHO WAS LIGHT?
Thank you, im sorry i didnt ask for your permission, but i used this as a monologue for my theater class. i said it as best as i could, and i got a near perfect score, everyone loved it, how could this be so low rated?
Again, no story,since no death, no definitive creature, and very short.
Also if he’s insane, then how come he sounds sensibe and reasonable?
stupid-can i give a story a 0
The comments are more entertaining than this story.
Satan provided the laptop he wrote this with. It was originally a five-star novel.
do you think that I’m afraid of a light you derp?
3.5/10
It was a bit scary but we seen far more worse things than a light. |:-P
sounds more hes in an insalasilum then just walking
craaazy
I get it! You’re insane! :D
that wasnt exactly that inedible 5/10
i’d give it a 2/10
This one didn’t have enough detail and went by way to quickly!
If this was monopoly, you would have landed on the chance space and gotten the “go directly to jail” card. You had something good, but you failed. First of all, learn to use grammar. Second, be more descriptive with your story and make it more coherent, as the jump from the gate of hell to the asylum is terrible. To be blunt, anyone who said “BUT WHO WAS PHONE” as a comment is right because this story was just… lacking. Given the right transition and description, you could have made the twist amazing. But you didn’t.
Okay, Okay. But what happens next? 2/10
It was good, but could use some more development. I would like to know what exactly he saw in the light as the gateway to hell, but other than that I liked it.
So guys, I totally saw something that was really scary and I can’t tell you about it because it would creep you out too much, just take my word for it dudes!
If you want to scare people, please show and do not tell. Saying you saw something scary is not creepy in the slightest. It’s a decent idea, you just need to flesh it out a lot more.
Agreed, the only time you should tell instead of show is when there is a deliberately ambiguous entity or force used for creating suspense, and there was non.
Spelling mistakes ruin it
That’s ironic, Jeff thfem killer.
Add more detail!
You know you’re writing a shit story if you stop halfway through and put your character in an asylum.
“Some shit happened, it was really bad, and I didn’t want it to, but it did anyway, and now I’m here and I hate it. “
How did he type this if he is now always kept sedated in a room?
Haha. That’s exactly what I came here to say.
themain thing here, is develop thesory more, and research thethingsyouwrite about:)
right.
ive actually spent some time in hospitals (not that im proud of this)
and they dont let you anywhere near electronics such as computers.
maybe change it to where you’re out of the hospital now and are telling your tale (which truthfully needs some work)
ok:) that is all:)
Been there too, dude, no electronics. I couldn’t even have my ipod. And this was an inpatient psychiatric hospital for depression/anxiety/addictions/etc. This ward the narrator is in would be electronics free for sure. Perhaps the narrator is “telling” his story to a delusion?
Then WHO WAS PATH?
This story needs a bit more…eh…story.
IT wasn’t THAT bad. It wasn’t that good either. It was….meh. Keep writing, you have potential. Don’t give up. 2/10
*typing
Lol
"Merely" a panic attack? Have you ever had a panic attack in your life, author? Know about things before you write about them. It doesn’t take much research to know that you can’t just brush off panic attacks.
i thought EXACTLY the same thing.
maybe use instead, “i figured i was just feeling anxious”..
ok? ok. (ok.)
-Runs through the open door-
Ok.
No sir, I didn’t like it.
What the hell was that?
laaaaaame
Plenty of potential, but between the lack of details and the grammar and spelling errors, it was hard to get into this story.
It was…okay, I guess. I mean, there was potential to this story, but you left a whole lot out.
It was horribly written and has a shit ton of mistakes. But it was a decent concept. Learn how to write, obtain a better command of the English language and then try again.
I agree
Give it "a wide birth?" You mean berth? Don’t try to use fancy British spelling if you don’t know how to spell. 2/10 not creepy
Didn’t know the term wide berth was ‘fancy’ =P
But yeah, this story seemed like a concept at best, not a full story and definitely not scary.
Everything british is fancy
Just couldnt get into it
So…there is a LOT missing from this story.
Amazing!
are you insane!!!!!!!!!
I have to do this, BUT WHO WAS LIGHT?
it was the gateway to hell
cover it
kira was light.
OHHHHHHH! REFERENCE!!
:33< I s33 what mew did there. Purrfect pun, my furiend. :3
nepeta you should be reading this
Oh. Uh…It was me. Sorry about that.
Oh sorry. What is it you want.?