Gateway Of The Mind
In 1983, a team of deeply pious scientists conducted a radical experiment in an undisclosed facility. The scientists had theorized that a human without access to any senses or ways to perceive stimuli would be able to perceive the presence of God. They believed that the five senses clouded our awareness of eternity, and without them, a human could actually establish contact with God by thought. An elderly man who claimed to have “nothing to left to live for” was the only test subject to volunteer. To purge him of all his senses, the scientists performed a complex operation in which every sensory nerve connection to the brain was surgically severed. Although the test subject retained full muscular function, he could not see, hear, taste, smell, or feel. With no possible way to communicate with or even sense the outside world, he was alone with his thoughts.
Scientists monitored him as he spoke aloud about his state of mind in jumbled, slurred sentences that he couldn’t even hear. After four days, the man claimed to be hearing hushed, unintelligible voices in his head. Assuming it was an onset of psychosis, the scientists paid little attention to the man’s concerns.
Two days later, the man cried that he could hear his dead wife speaking with him, and even more, he could communicate back. The scientists were intrigued, but were not convinced until the subject started naming dead relatives of the scientists. He repeated personal information to the scientists that only their dead spouses and parents would have known. At this point, a sizable portion of scientists left the study.
After a week of conversing with the deceased through his thoughts, the subject became distressed, saying the voices were overwhelming. In every waking moment, his consciousness was bombarded by hundreds of voices that refused to leave him alone. He frequently threw himself against the wall, trying to elicit a pain response. He begged the scientists for sedatives, so he could escape the voices by sleeping. This tactic worked for three days, until he started having severe night terrors. The subject repeatedly said that he could see and hear the deceased in his dreams.
Only a day later, the subject began to scream and claw at his nonfunctional eyes, hoping to sense something in the physical world. The hysterical subject now said the voices of the dead were deafening and hostile, speaking of hell and the end of the world. At one point, he yelled “No heaven, no forgiveness” for five hours straight. He continually begged to be killed, but the scientists were convinced that he was close to establishing contact with God.
After another day, the subject could no longer form coherent sentences. Seemingly mad, he started to bite off chunks of flesh from his arm. The scientists rushed into the test chamber and restrained him to a table so he could not kill himself. After a few hours of being tied down, the subject halted his struggling and screaming. He stared blankly at the ceiling as teardrops silently streaked across his face. For two weeks, the subject had to be manually rehydrated due to the constant crying. Eventually, he turned his head and, despite his blindness, made focused eye contact with a scientist for the first time in the study. He whispered “I have spoken with God, and he has abandoned us” and his vital signs stopped. There was no apparent cause of death.
What I thought it was funny.btw first
Y’know what…I really quite liked this!
Good imagery, not too shocking or creepy but quite absorbing. Good ending too. Liked it very much.
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5/10. Concept great, execution terrible.
I felt the potential. With some editing and rewriting I think it could be a favourite of mine.
Liked it more than I should have.
Enjoyable, 7/10
I loved the idea. Gave me goosebumps almost throughout the entire thing. Just be careful about the ending. It’s too typical and plain of an ending for a pasta like this that has potential.
Twas good. I am not dissapoint.
Well… Certainly an interesting taste, and slightly creepy, but it could have been more filling. Flesh it out a bit, for god’s sake! (lol) I’m giving it a 6/10, as it was different from the other meals.
I don’t know if it was just that the idea struck a personal chord with me or if the subject matter, especially the ending, seemed bio-engineered to terrify Christians such as myself, but by the end of this pasta, I was physically sick with an inexplicable sense of dread. Ten out of motherfucking ten.
The idea of being stuck without the senses really disturbs me.
Great concept
Great beginning and middle
Terrible Ending
I loved it as is! 9/10
Great concept…Ending a bit of a let down…but has much potential…
You know what, for a while, the stories with gratuitous, copious amounts of blood involving, “Flesh tearing, etc.” along with the relation to immature, middle school fantasies got mind-numbingly redundant. The stories as of late have been getting more interesting and less childish, “King Midas” - though well written - like, including, “The House in the land of night,” and, “The Cold Man.” This one was an interesting 8/10. I wonder why the guy died and I wish for more elaboration on god, its nature, and “why it abandoned us!” Obviously, I love well thought out stories that keep you enthralled, paint a vivid picture, and draw you into the world of the story. Keep up the good pastas.
I really liked it, and to mention a special point, I LOVED the fifth paragraph. That one was just perfect.
I really liked this pasta. My favorite in a while. Only the ending was weak, HUGE potential unused. A little disappointing, but I am satisfied. Thanks. Finally, a decent pasta.
I really enjoyed this. I’m honestly waiting for the test results to be leaked to the public. XD
“With no possible way to communicate…”
And then the subject goes on to communicate throughout the story.
Also, if he is completely deprived of his senses he would not be able to move or fling himself into a wall. You can move unless you can feel your muscles. It’s similar to being paralyzed.
Overall, not a bad effort though. A little more proofreading and editing and you’ll have a nice short story here.
Right now a poor girl is actually in such a condition:
http://www.camifoundation.com/home.html
I often wonder what kind of conversations she is having with God…
7/10– could’ve elaborated, this sounds like a good starting point for more and better pastas!
Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
The ending was a bit cliche, but I love the concept.
wow…presidential seal of an A. i was actually kinda creeped out…also much better than cold man. great idea too…maybe we should try ths experiment…
Eh, nothing too scary, nothing too suprising.
It was a rather nice story though.
Yes! Finally, a decent, non-ritual, non-zombie, non-vampire ‘pasta!
Despite some huge plot holes,that was quite amazing pasta.Bravo.
I really enjoyed this pasta :’D
So now we know for sure that God is a he, yes?
I loved this! =D Very…believable, in my mind at least c: Kind of makes me want to go through it XD Except I’d rather dislike the going mad part ;w;
Well written, too ^^ Yummy yummy pasta <33
i want to know how the scientists came to the “logical” conclusion that a person without their senses would naturally be able to converse with god. that ruined the story for me.
A large part of the creepy factor is that this is actually possible. The descent into psychosis and then blank insanity was excellent. Well done.
Not the best writing, but the idea was excellent. Delicious pasta.
Only reason this didn’t work more for me is because for most of the story I was only thinking about the scientific aspects of the “remove all senses” experiment. He wouldn’t know where his eyes were or were his mouth was or any of that if he was completely unable to feel pain or touch or taste. Fix those holes, and you’d have a Grade A work!
It’s trying way too much to make a statement, just like every other anti-religious pasta. I don’t care either way, and it IS creepy, but still, some people are so desperate to incorporate their atheism/agnosticism in to creepypasta that it’s starting to become a fad. I think this was the last one that the site needed to really form a “there’s-no-afterlife” band wagon.
bit crap
This very similiar to a foreign film I saw ‘Martyrs’ its about putting someone through so much pain and what not and establishing a connection to God and those who are dead. I don’t know if you saw the film but it sure seems like you took most of your story from that movie.
*nom nom nom*
I liked it.
Wow this is an absolutely amazing story. I look forward to further contributions!
BUT WHO WAS GOD?
I quite liked this.
Oh my God ( lol bad pun ) that was a great story
Pretty good, gave me a slight ‘chill’. It’s not the greatest, but it’s definitely good compared to a lot of other recent works.
@Almost Undead: They were pious.
I laughed, great story.
Tasty pasta.
This was good, but could have been far more epic with length. I love the concept. Kind of reminds me of the pasta “Orange Soda”, which blew my mind.
I have heard better.
Also, I think the cause of death was that HIS VITAL FUNCTIONS CEASED.
Yes. Finally. I can eat this pasta without regret.
This is the best one I’ve read here in a while. It’s intensely creepy and does not do much to violate the suspension of disbelief.
Biggest gripe I had was the fridge logic telling me it’s unlikely that without any tactile sense he would retain enough proprioception to “throw himself against walls” or stand upright or talk, for that matter.
I liked this one a lot! Uh. .. I don’t really have any good reasons. Good concept though.
9/10
That was a great idea for a pasta.
The writer needs to practice his (her?) skills, though. There is an awesome pasta here, but it’s hidden under some really unpleasant grammar/diction/imagery.
Produce a final draft of this, and we will have a winnar.
Bam.
That right there is the work of a Iron Chef.
I saw Martyrs as well.
I actually really liked this one. 9/10
Awesome work.
very interesting. Cool.
Good concept, shitty execution.
cool idea, twilight zoney
was good
Only thing I didn’t like was that the scientists seemed quite dubious near the beginning that he could be communing, even though that was the whole point.
BUT THEN WHO WAS SCIENTIST?
Cliche pasta end, and it was rife with plot holes. The scientists do all this so he will perceive god, and then when he starts talking about mysterious voices in his head they dismiss it as psychosis?
Do like.
For Christians or other similar god-worshiping denominations: Nightmare fuel.
For Atheists: Meh. Pussies.
Since I don’t believe OR disbelieve in any religion, I can’t focus on anything in this pasta beyond how a guy has no senses, but apparently excellent muscle coordination. How the hell could he repeatedly bite chunks out of his arm? He’d need a lot of assistance even to do it the once.
Really the only thing about this story that got to me was this guy having absolutely no senses.
Things like that freak me out. I could feel this horrible loneliness and dread when I read that.
Over all, a pretty tasty pasta. Needs to be prepared better, but the recipe was epic.
7/10
What the heck do you mean ‘no apparent cause of death’? He was biting chunks of flesh from his arm, what the heck!
It had serious potential, it really did, but it lost me at the end. And… if I have no reason to live, I’m definately trying this. Y’know, the whole getting all of my senses removed. That’d be cool as hell.
perhaps god abandoned them because he did not approve of the steps they were taking to find him
this is now one of my favorites!<3
It’s obvious. Th old guy was the grandfather of a Columbian drug runner who frequently drugged his shit for the lolz. After years of this, his mind was subconsciously damaged, but he could control the night terrors and insanity by doing something random. When he is removed of all senses, the madness has complete control over every aspect of his body.
tl;dr he are crazeh.
OM NOM NOM NOM
A few things that ruined where this was going.
-Pious scientists? ok, I’ll buy that, but
why would pious scientists who are attempting to establish a connection with God write off the man talking about hushed voices as the “onset of psychosis?” If anything that’s exactly what they would dream of discovering.
-If you’re not Christian, then the ending will have no impact on you whatsoever. It would have been improved for me even if something cheesy and stupid happened, like:
“The man looked at the scientist and said ‘I see them, they’re behind you!’ and then the bogeyman ate his face.”
That said, this really had some potential.
I found this one very good… actually sent a shiver down my spine :O
AMAZING. :O best story Ive read today I fucking love this.
Its really original. and I love the whole idea, Id be nice to know what happened to the scientists afterward.
Goddamnit. There should be a sadpasta.com for stories like this. It made me feel so sorry for the man.
theres a movie of this i know but whats the name
7/10
Could use a few more pages of writing and explaination, details, keep going with it, let it roll.
This Story’s Actually Very Sad.
Not religious or any crap like that,Its Just i Dunno Sad.
I didn’t think deaf people could really talk that well since they can’t control the volume in their voices so great? That was my only gripe.
Other than that, good story.
To everyone complaining about the sense part. READ THE STORY.
He was an old man that knew how to talk, walk etc.
If someone becomes deaf they can still talk, albeit incoherently after a while because they can’t hear themself, but they can still talk.
Also the feeling part, you guys never heard of leprasy? They can’t feel anything in their skin.
there are more than 5 senses http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sense
I’m Hindu and this scared the crap out of me D:
No apparent cause of death? Like he chewed his arm off? ._.
I think it’s perfect the way it is.
SCIENCE
This is even better with time, delicious pasta.
Damn, that was actually good. FOR THE MOST PART DAMNIT
HIGH FIEVEH!
inafter9001wannabecritics.
hmm..i like it!
Creepiest thing I’ve read on here so far. Really impressed!!! Definatly had goosebumps by the end! :O
It was good however I don’t understand how the man could be biting himself if he had no feeling? He wouldn’t know where to bite would he? There were several parts like this that confused me but the idea itself was quite orgional and very interesting. Also the part about the scientists thinking that the man was just suffering psychosis didn’t seem realistic, because those symptoms would have fit with their hypothisis. Idk, either way I liked the story.
Wall great ><
I won’t go on a huge rant about it, but I happen to be Christian. Therefore I dislike the ending quite a bit.
HOWEVER I’M PERFECTLY FINE WITH THE STORY BARARAR *waves hand around* It was really quite good, and I liked it very much. The thought of having no senses whatsoever scares me to bits though :c 8/10
BUT WHO WAS SUDDEN CAUSE OF DEATH?
Fun Fact: Night terrors occur in the 3rd stage of sleep, dreams occur in REM sleep (5th stage). You do not dream when experiencing night terrors, so that is false. Basic psychology guys! This just threw me off the entire story, and I couldn’t really get into it after that. Sorry.
I really liked this one, I thought it was clever, well written, etc.
Perfect ending too!
I love the concept of a scientific experiment to completely disable the senses, but I’m really over the ‘communicating with the dead’ thing. Thinking he is communicating with his dead wife? Understandable - he’s going mad and even in the early stages, you’d expect the subject to try to recall memories of his life as vividly as possible… anyways, I found the bit about recalling personal details of the scientists’ life a bit silly.
Regardless, still a great read.
Still gripping after a re-read.
with these unknown genres, i always think there true, even something like this, if the person that wrote it doesnt say its fake, i cant help but think, its real
But who is GOD?! =D
I liked it, you built it up very well for a short pasta, but the ending left a slightly unsavory flavor on my tongue. Goosebumps galore, though!
“Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?”
Because Disney censors puberty.
Loved the ending.
That was amazingly thought provoking. I am not a religious person, but it has definitely resonated w/n me. Amazingly good story. I will never forget it, as long as I live I will never forget this story, this idea.
Yotsua, I read about Candace. That’s so sad what is happening to that poor girl, but at least she can be happy in that her disease may help doctors in the future with other people who succumb to this disease. She may even be able to help the doctors discover a new disease, so in a sense she is helping others like a doctor would.
I watch a lot of mystery medical shows, and it’s amazing how they are able to figure these things out. I am holding out hope for Candace and her family.
This story reminded me a lot of the film Martyrs, I wonder if the author has seen the film. I don’t mean that in assuming he ripped it off with this story, I mean that in the sense that it’s a fascinating film that is similar to the theme of the story.
I loved it!
;D
This is one of the best stories on this site, I really liked it!
Very interesting story. I Liked it. there should be some kind of rating system on this site though
10/10
I really liked this pasta. It reminded me of the one where some Russian scientists deprived some POWs of sleep and they went went batshit crazy.
this is soooo disturbing. I got chills at the end. I love it!! ten ten ten!!!