Eye Contact
We’ve all experienced it, right? That sudden feeling like someone is looking you. A chill runs up your spine, and you are convinced that you have to find the source of the sensation. You look around and see someone just randomly staring at you. At gives you even more of a spook, but, after a few seconds of awkwardness, it subsides. You and the person go your separate ways, never to see one another ever again.
Or are you?
Why is it that we get that sensation when we make eye contact with another human being? I will tell you why. Its because they aren’t human beings. Not. At. All.
They look just like us, talk like us, act like us. But there is something strange about these creatures that mock us. They are each destined to certain people in their lives, they know not of who they are or what they look like. Just ordinary people, like you and I. When they find one of those people, the two of them make eye contact. At that moment, they are linked to you by a mortal bond. That is, if you die, the human, then they die.
Well that’s not so bad, now is it? I mean, if I was linked to someone by those means, I would personally try and protect the person. Wouldn’t you?
Remember that chill? That eerie feeling of ice shooting up your spine and back down again. That is your memories and your future, both of which are being copied at that moment and stored into their minds. Yet again, so what? Now they know all of your personal secrets. Its not like they will do anything, save for steal your money or something. But no one ever does that, really they don’t.
Imagine this. Say you met someone the other day, a random person. Who’s to say that’s not the next Hitler? If I was to be endowed with all of the mindset of that person…I wouldn’t care if I died, as long as I took them with me.
Then again…maybe its not so bad. Sure, it’s rare, but there are defiantly good people out there, they are just hard to find. And, if I was to see an extreme goodness in someone’s heart, I would want to protect them. For my life, yes, but for theirs as well. Like a guardian angel, right?
Just…remember one thing. If anything, remember what I am about to tell you, because if you are like me, it will change the way you think about your life and the way you live. It may even save you from being struck down by one of THEM.
Humanity is inherently evil.
Posted in Beings & Entities
September 23rd, 2008 at 10:10 pm
Good idea. Poorly written but nice idea.
September 23rd, 2008 at 10:12 pm
I’d punch the completely subjective author of this pasta in the nads and go about my fuckin’ business.
September 23rd, 2008 at 10:26 pm
Cool concept, poorly executed.
September 23rd, 2008 at 10:31 pm
The Hitler bit is beaten to death. Eye contact is a great subject to write on though. Some say it’s a gateway to their soul, and is great for trying to detect liars. The base interest is there but the piece is inane and meaningless.
September 23rd, 2008 at 10:44 pm
what a terribly written pasta. im actually vomiting as i type this
September 23rd, 2008 at 10:54 pm
This one just sounded boring and complicated at the same time. It hurt my tiny brain.
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:00 pm
yeah… not so great
grammar was hideous
nice idea
it would have been nicer if the supposedly ’spooky’ idea had been better
as in,’The only way other ‘others’ can survive without their human is by killing the human of another.
You know those other times you get the feeling you’re being watched? And you make eye contact with someone who is not your other? Yeah, well that’s another ‘other’.’
Does that even make sense? it did in my mind…
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:19 pm
Sadly, I didn’t like this one :X
It started out pretty well, and i was expecting an eerie explanation for a common occurrence, but…
As soon as it got to the doppleganger type connection, it died, especially considering how often this happens to me. It means that I have roughly a dozen of those “one, special person”s running around, contemplating whether or not they should commit indirect suicide by killing me.
The ending was also pretty flat. I didn’t walk away from it with anything
It seems to me that the author started out with a god concept but didn’t flesh it out enough.
I’m critiquing this as a story because it’s really not creepy enough to give me the urge to make a running jump into my bad and hide under the covers. I read these stories before bed time you know, and that helps me sleep better.
…sadly, in most of those cases, I’m being to irrationally paranoid to leave a comment ._.
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:35 pm
Things got complicated in the end. The explanation went ’shotgun’ - talking about a lot of incoherent things and not hitting the target at all.
It had a good start though.
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:53 pm
I agree.
September 24th, 2008 at 12:48 am
Wow , i’m with Ruessell… this shit sucked and I waisted 30 seconds of my life reading it… very poorly written, and it was sooooo boring.. I make eye contact with so many people does that meen if i fall off a cliff all 500 of them die at that second? no.. dumbass… stupid idea
September 24th, 2008 at 1:02 am
Hello.
This is a world where nigh infinite sources of information and communication are at the fingertips of the most common of individuals, yet still are we subjected to such poor grammar and prose.
Pathetic.
September 24th, 2008 at 1:14 am
i agree with ze comment leaver. poorly written, but the concept is pretty good. not too creeped out, though.
September 24th, 2008 at 1:21 am
uggghhhhaszfcfdkfm my eyes are bleeding please delete this. Wasn’t even intrigued at all by the idea. Maybe there was something I missed in the shit writing.
September 24th, 2008 at 2:38 am
I agree with most of you; I liked the concept, which is why I posted it, but the delivery isn’t perfect. If the submitter feels like trying out a rewrite, I’m down to change it for him - if not, stays like this.
SO sorry, asdf. I hope you see a doctor about the issue with your eyes.
Oh, and I accidentally hit “spam” on one of the comments on this post that wasn’t spam - if it was you, please resubmit. I didn’t mean to do that =(
September 24th, 2008 at 5:16 am
ye i agree with you all
concept was pretty eerie but it was badly executed left a lot of holes and it wasn’t too well written.
what if I’M the thing that’s not human, when someone looks at me, what if they’re the human ones and i’m not?
this story also seemed to be going no where, a proper conclusion please mr./ms. submitter.
thanks
September 24th, 2008 at 6:58 am
What is a “defiantly good” person?
September 24th, 2008 at 7:25 am
Well, I really did like the idea, I think it had a lot of potential. And if someone were to take it upon themselves to rewrite it with decent grammar, spelling and punctuation, it would be truly good.
As it was, I enjoyed the, I suppose the right word for it is storyline…I just wanted to cry at the massacring of English in it.
Still, awesome concept, and quite eery.
September 24th, 2008 at 7:43 am
1 cookie to whoever can rewrite this.
September 24th, 2008 at 8:23 am
This was bloody terrible. It was weak, poorly executed, and far from creepy.
September 24th, 2008 at 11:40 am
It was a good concept, but I agree with most of the other commenters, it was poorly done ><
Also, seeing as it’s me who does most of the staring in my life, technically I am one of THEM
September 24th, 2008 at 2:19 pm
The only thing I can say is that this needs to be shortened into maybe a paragraph since it rambles on WAY too much, and the last line should be removed, since as the “OH SHIT!” punch line it should be a hard fact, not a debatable opinion.
September 24th, 2008 at 3:43 pm
You know it’s bad when Mr. Welldone leaves a mean comment. Lol.
September 24th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
I liked the idea, at least…
September 24th, 2008 at 4:31 pm
But, I am blind…
September 24th, 2008 at 4:48 pm
*cricket cricket*
September 24th, 2008 at 5:09 pm
it wasn’t THAT bad. it kinda makes you think how far a person would go to protect humanity from someone evil. then again, it should probably be re-written.
September 24th, 2008 at 5:56 pm
First off: Thank you for at least reading my Pasta. really, i do thank you for that.
Secondarily: Instead of saying how horrible it was, or how you couldn’t understand it, i would greatly appriciate it if you could consider giving me some constructive criticism.
Third: This was my first ever attempt at writing a creepy story. i didn’t expect it to be perfect, nor for this many bad reviews.
Fourth: if you do decided to re-write it (i noticed someone suggested that), please leave a comment here. i’d like to see someone do that.
Fifth: ‘Lolwut’….thank you for catching that….
Sixth: Try writing a pasta for yourself. its not easy.
September 24th, 2008 at 6:33 pm
I agree with everyone else who’s said ‘good concept, poor execution.’ I might actually take a whack at rewriting it. xD
September 24th, 2008 at 8:00 pm
DUN DUN DUUUUUN!
It was a bit vauge about what those creatures are. Are they aliens? Deamoins? Transdimensional beings? Miniature giant space hamsters?
September 24th, 2008 at 9:16 pm
Ow. My poor, poor brain.
I think I gave myself a nosebleed trying to understand this pasta.
The concept is good, as mentioned before, though.
September 25th, 2008 at 12:58 am
What a mundane ending.
September 26th, 2008 at 1:43 am
im not sure why but this one creeps me out. what if they’re watching me right now as im reading this. do they know i know?
September 26th, 2008 at 5:27 am
This one was so horribly written it was almost unreadable. Great concept but more work could be done on it.
September 26th, 2008 at 11:43 am
THEN WHO WAS EYE?
September 26th, 2008 at 6:09 pm
This one, I was a bit looking forward to. Eye contact was a decent subject, but like the others here, I feel that the author poured the story out poorly.
September 27th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
WHO WAS SOMEONE?
September 28th, 2008 at 7:40 pm
Funny, I make it a point to make eye contact with as many strangers as possible.
Sometimes it does feel like seeing into their soul, seeing all of them.
Freaks the shit out of people though.