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Express



Estimated reading time — 2 minutes

By the time Kevin made his way down into the subway station, there was no one else there but a solitary old man, sitting on a bench, using his cane to help him sit up straight. Kevin squinted at the schedule on the wall. From behind, he heard a grizzled voice say, “Whichever one you’re waiting for, you’re at the right station. They all stop here.”

Kevin turned to see the old man watching him. “Even the A6?” he asked.

“They ALL stop here,” repeated the stranger, who appeared to be dressed far too warmly for the season.

“I can’t believe the A6 stops here this late on a Tuesday.”

“Young man, this station is a major transfer point, and I’ve been taking these trains for many years. Believe me when I tell you, all the trains stop here.”

As if in answer, the sound of an approaching train came from deep within the tunnel. It sounded like it was coming too fast to stop. In fact, it sounded like it was running faster than subways usually do. It was only a moment before it went rushing past. But that wasn’t the shocking part. All the cars were jet black, but it didn’t look like they were painted, just…made that way. Every car was covered in the most indescribably horrific graffiti. Wild splashes of red paint decorated the windows. It was paint, wasn’t it? The lighting inside was very dim. All the passengers were shadowy figures who stood, unmoving. None of them were seated. Kevin couldn’t make out any of their features. So why did he feel like they were watching him?

“What the hell was that?” Kevin demanded as the mysterious black train disappeared into the opposite tunnel.

The old man hung his head, almost in shame. “I’m sorry I wasn’t completely honest with you. There is actually one train that doesn’t stop here. Only one.”

“Where does it go?”

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“Pray you never find out.”

Kevin stood in stunned silence before the old man added, “By the way, if you’re taking the A6 you need to be on Platform 3.”

Kevin could barely gasp the word, “Thanks,” before walking quickly away.

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As he was leaving, he heard the man call after him, “Also…”

He turned to see the man fixing him with a steely gaze that let Kevin know the stranger was about to give him the most important warning he would ever hear in his life.

“The next time you see that train. It WILL stop. Don’t get on.”

Credit To: E. Alan Rahn

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Copyright Statement: Unless explicitly stated, all stories published on Creepypasta.com are the property of (and under copyright to) their respective authors, and may not be narrated or performed under any circumstance.

22 thoughts on “Express”

  1. I wish there was an extension to this where Kevin actually gets on the train or at least looks inside when the doors open.

  2. All Pastas are pretty much public domain (at least, I think that’s how it works). If you want to do a reading, I’m pretty sure you can just do it. I’ve seen literally dozens of videos on YouTube of my stories, this one too, come to think of it. Maybe you already did one?

    1. Jumping in to say that this really isn’t correct. Just because something is posted online =/= entering the public domain. All works still belong to their respective authors, so if you use their story without permission and they object, they would have grounds for legal action.

      This is why I say to always, always get explicit permission from the author before using their work for anything. Some authors are very relaxed like you, but others are more protective of their work – we’ve actually had some stop writing pastas altogether because they took issue with people like MrCreepypasta taking/editing their work. It upset them so much that we actually lost out on some really good stories :(

      So really, each author’s view will vary and people shouldn’t assume anything.

  3. Its very tough to keep a story short but also for it to be a complete story. I felt you pulled it off well. One of the better short pastas ive read

  4. Very difficult thing to do, to write a story that made sense, was quite scary and for it to be so short. But you nailed it.

  5. Generally nice (insofar as “nice” can describe a creepypasta). Most everything rode on that last line (no pun intended, but appreciated nonetheless), but that is acceptable for flash fiction, and it delivers.

    However, “the most indescribably horrific graffiti” nearly made me stop reading. “Indescribable” is one of the hardest descriptions to pull off properly, and gets misused far too often. Indescribable is not the same as merely undescribed!

    To make the description work, you have to give enough details that the reader starts to get a mental picture of what is going on, but then you have to subvert those pictures, to prove that whatever we might imagine, what that thing is is even worse.

    But that one gripe aside, the pasta works nicely. Bravo.

  6. very simple and was good however i would love to read an extension where he gets on i’m interested in finding out a bit more …

  7. oh how much i love seeing a story like this. so many people find the need to explain everything about the “monster” in their story, like what it is, why it exists, and why it wants them.
    this story stay on the track of the “fear of the unknown” which is true fear is made of.
    not that i’m saying this is a scary story, but it definitely is creepy

  8. I really liked it, there seems to be no mediocre pasta lol. They are either really good or really bad. I want more of this one, there should be a follow up or something(:

  9. Not too bad! It was suspenseful and I liked it. I wish it had more to it though, I felt like it ended a bit early. Other than that, nice job!

  10. Great pasta! The description of the train was just perfect. It was short and simple, yet very creepy (maybe because it left a lot for the reader’s imagination to fill in, letting the train become whatever scares the reader?). I wonder what happens when you get on the train.

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